Now what?

[rhonda112]

So yesterday (Christmas Day) we recieved our third terrible news phone call. Our third attempt with IVF failed. Both my husband and I are fairly young and healthy so I just dont know why it's not happening. My doctor was so optomistic from the very begining. He even said "We will get you pregant". I feel so let down. We thought for sure the third time was it. We were able to have a 5-day blastocyst transfer which is what we all wanted. We had more high quality embryo's then the first two cycles and the doctors were so happy with the two that were transfered.

I dont know what went wrong. Everything went perfectly the third cycle. I just dont know how many more times I can handle getting negative test results. Not only that, but we're running out of money to continue this.

I know nobody has the answers, I was just looking for words of support from people who have/are in my situation.

[boo1]

I'm so sorry. I know, at least sort of, how you feel. I got the news on Christmas Eve that my BFP was probably going to turn into a miscarriage as my beta number had dropped a lot. I'm just at a loss as to what to do. I want to get in bed and stay there for a few days. I can't get interested in doing anything. This was our 1st IVF but I just turned 43 so I don't know that the 2nd one will work either. It's really testing my faith and I don't think I'm passing the test.


((((((((Hugs))))))))))

Laura

[tinaO]

Rhonda - First of all, what a worse way to receive news like that than on Christmas Day?!?! Bless your heart. I am so sorry. I am sure when you read my profile, you may not think I am the best person to give you this kind of advice since I got pregnant on my 1st try with IVF, but there are soooo many women that it took several tries before they finally ended up pregnant. I know how difficult this IVF battle can be, so I can't imagine continuing to go through it over & over again, but if your doctor still thinks he can get you pregnant, you have to have faith. There are 2 women that come to mind right away for me on this site which are Angie65 and Vicky77. Both of them got pregnant on their 4th try and are both right at the 13 week mark right now. It is tough to know when is the right time to say "enough is enough", but if your doctor still thinks that you have a great chance, I guess you can make the decision as to whether you want to give it one more try. Regardless, I wish you the very best. I know your road has been tough and I admire your strength. Good luck and hopefully a baby will be in your future soon! In the mean time, I am sure you will hear from others who were successful after multiple attempts!!!

[nwquiz]

Rhonda I Know the pain you are having and you are not alone. i got my bad news on friday 4days before christmas. that was so had coz my beta levels had been good and strong from the beginning then just stopped. so here i am having a miscarriage. this was my 4th attempt and ended just at 6.5weeks. all that money down the drain since am self pay. payibg 401 loan yet no hope. so as much as you feel down you are not alone. we need to be positive and move on the right path. take time to heal. i know its hard i have not left the hse myself since saturday coz i cant keep back tears and hubby is not talking coz he blames himself for the failer. but i realize after reading all this posts and what other ladies go through am still blessed since i have all my tubes etc and with time god wlling can try again. take time and grieve my doc says its part of the healing process. wish you all the best. just know you are not alone.

[Dexter]

Hi Rhonda,
Firstly, sorry for your awful news on xmas day. This journey of ours never gets easier...even when BFP does eventually turn up, it's constant worry.

I am one of these ladies on the boards that have been around the block a few times. It took me 4 tries before getting my BFP. Unexplained infertility, docs said we would have success and after each repeated fail, they just said "you have bad luck". I could not accept BAD LUCK as the reason but it turned out to be true. It was a waiting game...waiting for the right combination embryo...which one to choose out of the embryos to ensure successful implantation. They simply can't tell from the lab exactly which one has the genetic ability to "make it". So we sat and waited for our turn. Cried and cried and cried. Got others baby news announcements on days of our BFNs and miscarriages, photos of friends ultrasounds on days we were waiting for the miracle beta test to come back positive - yet nothing. More disappointment. Your world just caves in around you.

But here I am, after 4 attempts, 9 weeks pregnant with twins. This was the only time we transfered 2 (my clinic does not allow more than 1 for under 38's) and both were lower grades than my previous attempts. On the day of my 7 week scan, when we found out both embryos had taken, my doc called and said he never believed both would take for us, considering my prior history. There you go... it was just a lottery.

Now I sit here in turmoil, as I analyze my BBs, convinced they are not as sore as yesterday and panicked that I told our families the news too early for fear that something will still go wrong, even though we have weekly scans and bloods to keep my paranoia at bay.

It's a cliche but my only words of advise are, hang in there if you can. Make sure you enjoy your free time with DH and do things together to strengthen your bond and make you feel optimistic. You are young and have that on your side, now you have to wait for that "magic" combination.

Sending best wishes to you..

Dexter xx