AUGUST 2008 ~ BUMP BUDDIES

[seltzer]

Dancinnancy - can you lend me your husband??! LOL. My partner has NOT been very nice throughout this experience. Ironic, isn't it, since she is a woman and had our first child. She is constantly resentful of me because I am not "doing enough" to help around the house & with our 1-yr-old. It is really wearing me down. She is mad at me because I feel crappy (moody, emotional, sad/conflicted over losing one of my twins, OHSS symptoms, nausea, fatigue, etc., the usual) and this is making HER life miserable. She told me on Christmas eve she does not know how she is going to stand me for the next 7 months. Thankfully she went away for 4 days so I get some time to rest and enjoy the solitude. I am at my wit's end w/her. Sorry to rant. I feel so isolated lately.

Thanks for listening.

[tinaO]

Hello all!

Seltzer - I have to laugh because shouldn't it be the women that relate best to each other and understand how we feel? Your partner needs a swift kick in the "you know what" to remind her that this whole IVF/pregnancy stuff is not easy!! It is such a crazy emotional roller coaster!!! But I bet you that once she gets back, she will change her attitude and be more understanding. Personally, I wouldn't want to be dealing with me right now. Sometimes I get on my own nerves! I guess we have to stop and look at things from the other side and realize that it is tough on the other person, too. They sometimes don't know what to say or when to say it or how to say it. My husband is very understanding and sweet, but I know he doesn't get what I am going through. He just tells me not to worry and that everything will be fine. Which I hope it will be, but of course I continue to worry!! However, he did give me a ring yesterday that was under the tree and it said "From Me and Baby", so that was soooo sweet.

I am sorry about the loss of your twin. That is rough and I am sure creates a flood of emotions. It is so confusing going through all of this. I am sure your partner doesn't know what to say to comfort you. But hey - that is what we are all here for!

momma2be - it sounds like our husbands are very similar! My hubby has always been very sweet, but seeing how much he really wants to take care of me and protect me now is very endearing. He even bought a pack of onesies and put those under the tree as well. So sweet to think of him picking them out! Anyway, welcome aboard and glad you could join us on our thread! I also have been through a couple of failed IUI's and got pregnant on my first IVF.

MBG/dancinnancy - how are my girls doing? It is sooo great that we were able to cross threads together and be over here "on the other side" now!!!! Hope you both had a wonderful Christmas!

sharishu - congrats on the u/s scan!!! You are right on track, girl! And to think we met on the thread "A down moment during the 2ww"!!! So excited you got to see the heartbeat!!!

Hope everyone else is doing well!!!

[MBG]

Seltzer: I am so sorry to hear about the loss of one of your twins. From what I have read that is very common at this stage of the pregnancy...regardless, it dosen't make it any easier. I hope you take the time to greive and then refocus on being the best mom you can be for your little one.

I am sorry to hear aoout your partner. I do not know what I would do if my husband were to act that way...He has been extremely supportive. It is hard enough as it is to go through this entire process..I hope her brief break gives her a chance to re-evaluate your situation and comes back more supportive. Hang in there!!

TinaO: I had a GREAT Christmas! Sounds like you did too! My sister-in-law gave me one of the willow tree figurines of a women cradeling her pregnant belly...I started to cry when I opened it, which led to a roomful of blubbering women....Oh the emotions!! It was really sweet. I gave my DH a bib, in his stocking, that says "if you think I'm cute you should see my dad"...He has told everyone about that bib....I think it so cute seeing him get so excited. He is going to be a GREAT dad!!

I have started to feel few waves of nausea in the afternoons around lunch time....nothing horrible...I actual consider myself pretty lucky!!
Hope all is well with everyone...when is everyone's next u/s?


MBG

[momma2be]

Seltzer -

I am sorry for your loss of your twin. It's heartbreaking but you still have a healthy one so remain positive and keep talking to the "bean" that you have inside of you. I talk to mine all the time and rub my overbloated belly. It still has not gone down since the IVF procedure or maybe it's the ten pounds I gained from all the hormones.

Have a talk with your partner maybe she has "forgotten" what it feels like and remind her that every woman is different and everybody handles this little "intrusion" on our body differently.

I seem to lie in bed as much as I can. I just want to get over these first twelve weeks. I think any woman who has been through miscarriages, failed IUI's and IVF's will take extra care to the extreme to ensure that we do nothing wrong to endanger our babies. There is nothing wrong with that and I would argue hormonally for hours over that fact.

I am still discharging brown and a bit of pink, so not sure what that means but the doctor seems to think it's ok. I hope I am not going to be like this the whole pregnancy.

I actually had to go out and buy bigger pants, I was losing the button battle of trying to close the top button. Plus I bought these wonderful bra's from Kohl's called "Barely There." You can wear them 24/7 and there is no wire to cut you underneath. Very comfy and I love them. I had to go up a size and I will sleep in them because waking up and getting up out of bed is so painful at this point.

I am eating 6 small meals a day and drinking lots of fluids. Weening myself off of caffeine was not as hard as I thought it would be. I am a HUGE Starbuck's fan and giving it up was easy. (and saving tons of money!)

Did I mention that DH and I are relocating for his job as well? So things are hectic but I am packing slow and just throwing clothes in boxes and the movers are doing all the heavy stuff like packing the kitchen, dining room and glass stuff. I am just packing clothes and closets...and thankfully we do not have a lot of rooms.

The good thing is that I am off of work for 5 weeks until I can find a new job. A few interviews and I better find a job before I show or they will not hire a pregnant woman! ACCKKK!

Hope everyone had a great day!

[seltzer]

Hello all - momma2be, MBG, TinaO, dancinnancy and anyone else I forgot -

You all put a smile on my face tonight; thank you!! All your kind and understanding words were exactly what I needed and they helped so, so much. Tonight I am enjoying the peace and quiet and taking care of myself. I finally watched that movie "Mrs. Doubtfire" which I've been wanting to watch since the '90s, LOL. I am just hoping the "morning" sickness doesn't strike again tonight. I spent a good bit of last night puking. Fun! But hey this little tiny baby is worth it. My son is so incredible--I can't wait to meet this next baby.

I must sign off for now...must get to bed so I can get a lot of sleep before work in the morning. I love reading all your posts, everyone. Keep 'em coming.

[sharishu]

Momma2be-
I agree with you wholeheartedly about resting as MUCH as possible at this time. The key is to feel relaxed and positive, and know that the rest will fall smoothly into place. I am/was sick this week, and did not step FOOT out of the house. I rest when I get tired and keep checking to make sure my temperature doesn't rise too much. Starting to feel a little better, TG, so I hope to return to work on monday.

Seltzer-
Ditto for you re: the above. You must feel as relaxed as possible at this time, that is the MAIN thing. Show your partner all these posts from women who are supporting you. Of course life happens and significant others argue with one another, but please try to keep a level of calm. Imagine yourself in a bubble- all the bad stuff just bounces right off. I hope you're feeling less alone and more relaxed. Take care of yourself.

Be well, all.

Shari

[dancinnancy]

Hey chicas!

Seltzer-
Wow, are we a supportive bunch or what?! Everyone here's got your back, so you just tell your partner to chill! Okay, maybe after she's had a few days to re-group & she'll come back home & tell you that the stress of the holidays is what was really getting to her.

Anyone else having CRAZY dreams?! OMG, I've had some doozies these past few nights! Really wacky dreams, so out there that when I wake up I'm so happy to be back in reality!

momma2be-
I have allergies/asthma too. I've found that my allergy shots (every 2 weeks) really help control my allergy symptoms. Now that I'm preggo, they are just maintaining my dose - they won't increase the amount of serum for fear of a bad reaction. I stopped taking my other allergy meds at the beginning of last year, b/c I just knew that once we did get pregnant that I wouldn't want to be on all of them (zyrtec, rhinocort, & advair). The tricky part is that I'm allergic to cats, and my in-laws have cats. They (I should say she - monster in law) thinks that by putting the cat in the basement while we are staying there will eliminate any/all chances of me having an allergy attack. Well, I had an asthma attack in September at their house & we ended up staying at my brother in law's apartment that night - which will be the arrangement from here on out. I haven't been back to visit them since, mainly b/c we've just been so busy. I'd rather not travel at all during the pregnancy & with the OHSS my Dr's don't want me traveling. MIL causes me too much stress & through in the allergies - it's a recipe for disaster!

Did I mention MIL & my FIL (who I love dearly) are coming to stay with us for the next two nights? I think I may have to escape to my parents for a little while. I can't be stressed, right ?

[momma2be]

LOL dancinnancy...it reminds me of when I was doing my shots and fertility treatments during Thanksgiving and I was already high strung as it was from sticking myself three times a night with a needle in various body parts. I think I went to bed by 8pm every night so that I could avoid the insanity of the MIL. She is really great but can be grating on the nerves if you know what I mean. I kind of when in there when we arrived and said, "Nobody look at me or talk to me and we will all survive this visit." I am glad that they still love me when I am so outspoken and all. But they were especially gentle and lovely so I am grateful I spoke my piece when I arrived.

Although when my DH called to tell his mother she didn't want to tell my BIL and SIL until the 12 week period (which is in another 6 weeks) because you know "something might happen." My DH and I wrestled for the phone but he won -- he didn't want me giving my MIL a piece of my mind for that negative thinking.

Grrrrrrrrrr...

OMG I had my first craving today...I was literally going to hunt down a cow, strip the skin off and eat it raw...I needed a cheeseburger in the worst way. I was literally hopping up and down in the passenger seat waiting to make the 5 minute drive to the diner with DH. I now know why women kill their DH's in moment's of insanity.

I think I need more iron in my diet because I am craving RED meat...RED MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Ok off to do some more packing!

[MBG]

hello ladies! Hope everyone is doing well!
Dancinnancy: I too have had some crazy dreams over the past week or so. I had a dream last night that I was going into labor...I was freaking out!!

Momma2be: That is funny about your beef craving... You must give you body what it wants!

I have been feeling good until this morning...having my first bought with waves of nausea...and a headache..YUCK..I was so proud of myself for feeling so good up until this point!!

I am counting the days until my scan on Monday!! Can't wait!!

MBG

[momma2be]

We must be on the same schedule MGB, my first ultrasound is Monday as well. We find out how many sacs there are. I am thinking just one since my beta levels are low. How was your Beta Levels?

I am in my 6 week and I woke up with cramps and the shakes when I need to eat. Anyone else feeling this way?

[seltzer]

MBG & momma2be - Good luck with your u/s! Please write in ASAP w/the news.

momma2be - I must say I LMAO last night when I read your post about the insanity of your MIL, etc. Thank God I am NOT with my MIL this week...I took the liberty of allowing my DP and son to visit w/the fam all by themselves. And your cow craving, OMG, too funny. I had this image of you literally bouncing off the roof of the car driving to the restaurant.

sharishu - this "level of calm" of which you speak is my ultimate goal. I just admit any level of calm is not my forte...esp. when my DP pisses me off. I am finding that the serenity prayer is helping out, though. I think being alone a lot is what really helps me.

So speaking of cravings, I too get sudden and intense starvation feelings along with nauseau when I haven't eaten for a while. I'll be fine one minute, minding my own business, and the next I swear I'd kill someone for food. This started full force last Saturday. The Indian meal I ate that night was THE BEST meal I've ever had. I've also been craving chicken salad, potato salad, sour cream, peanut butter & jelly, and pizza. I am someone who NEVER cooks, never picks up a utensil in the kitchen, and I now find myself printing recipes off the Net. I had a delicious 10-ounce piece of prime rib on Christmas, which I later threw up. The good thing, though, is that I can't each much w/out feeling like I'm going to barf. This way I won't overeat but I can still enjoy the food.

No strange dreams for me yet...I've been sleeping so much better lately. I had a very unpleasant bout of insomnia in the weeks approaching Christmas, which surely contributed to my insanity during that time.

[seltzer]

hi all,

I'm wondering if anyone here knows the stats on the likelihood of a successful pregnancy after seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks. I'm worried b/c I still have 4 weeks to go in my first trimester. my 3 betas were good and the baby measured just right at the 7 wk transvaginal u/s and the 8 wk abdominal u/s. Heartbeat was fine (133 and 160, respectively). I am just a little worried, though, I guess b/c of what happened to my twin. Anyone have any stats or info?

By the way, if anyone here lives in Massachusetts or New England, check the brand of milk you're drinking. Whittier Farms milk is contaminated with listeriosis. One pregnant woman has miscarried and two elderly men have died. I'm sticking to soy milk. Here's the link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22414444/

[momma2be]

Thanks for the advice Seltzer...I am in the midwest but better safe than sorry.

I have never been a big milk drinker but have been drinking about 4 large glasses a day of soy milk. I love the vanilla and the chocolate milk.

I think you are going to be fine but I would be tense too after losing the twin. But remain positive, keep your feet up and just do light duties. Don't overtax youself and just be kind to yourself for the next 4 weeks until you can find peace of mind again.

I think we're all on pins and needles for the first trimester. But more so for you since you have already suffered a loss. But remain positive...I am sending my positive energy your way for you.

>positive...positive...positive...ok I think I just busted the band on my pants<

[tinaO]

Ok, I will write more later but I just have to laugh about the MIL stories!!! My MIL has been in town and STAYING with us for a week!!! I got so excited because I thought she was leaving tomorrow and then my husband reminded me that she doesn't leave until Sunday!!!! ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! HELP ME!!!! She really is a sweet woman, but this was my week of vacation and having her in my house for the entire week is making me CRAZY!!!! I can't take it much longer. Someone - please help!!!!!

Other than that, my 7 week appt is Jan 2nd and I cannot wait. Wish the time would go by quicker. I caught up on most of your posts, but will post more later. Hugs to you all!!! I am back to entertaining the MIL!!!

[momma2be]

Once my MIL found out I was pregnant she offered to come out and help us for a week after the birth. I know I watch those birthing stories on TLC and how helpful MIL's and family is -- but I am not sure how this will go. I am touched that she offered since she never offered to help my SIL. Which if my SIL finds out, she will be PISSED at my MIL. Accckkkk family drama.

My sister offered to come out for the birth and for that I am grateful and will accept her help!

Maybe when my sister leaves, I will have my MIL come and visit.

Ok I am getting ahead of myself.

Can you tell I am procrastinating from packing???

Although DH keeps watching me to make sure I am not stretching or carrying too much. I think he thinks this baby is going to pop out.

BTW, my DH is aghast about having sex with me...anyone else's DH feel the same? I am going to be a lonely woman for the next 8 months.

Good luck Tina...you are a better woman than me. I can only last 3 days and then I am standing at the door with her suitcase packed and a taxi waiting.