Pissed Off! Sad! And not going to take it anymore

[LostGirl]

Well after all that carping and many low points, I got my BFP yesterday. The nurse called just after 3 and said i have some good news, and I said, good news?? I was in shock. I had taken a HPT at 7dp3dt and it was negative. So all week I was in a foul mood thinking it's over.

But it wasn't. I've got a beta of 91 at 12dp3dt, which seems high enough to me for this super early stage, and it's all about the doubling...so we'll see where i'm at with my next appt on Tuesday to see.

Just for the record, I had a lot of symptoms, sore nipples, kept going to bed at 9pm because so tired, and fluttering in the tummy that came and went but I thought it was the progesterone. The only thing that got me a bit suspicious is a feeling of fullness down there. I kept rushing to go pee because I thought my bladder was full. But only half the time did I have to pee. It was odd. But it turns out plenty of pregnant women have this feeling. I've just never been pregnant before today.

I'm scared about the long road ahead, but so thankful for this site, for your help during my lowest points, and for this big break.

[TammyS]

Oh my Gosh! Oh my Gosh!!! I had such a feeling you were!!! Congratulations!!! That is soooo awesome! I couldnt be happier for you!

[esperanza]

yay! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm so happy for you. You give me hope!

[loopie]

Hey Lost!
congratulations on your BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so proud of you - it takes a lot to be so honest about how you have been feeling throughout this - and from here on out- it's go baby go!!!!!!
I will be thinking about you and all the girls out here working on our BFPs

I begin my shots today and am nervous about it all

Cheers to you and DH

double beta dust!

loopie

[nicaliw]

YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO excited for you!!!!
What great news. Another success story to keep the rest of us going......ladies we are all going to get our BFP's this year!

[esperanza]

yes we are! BFP!! BFP!! BFP!!!

[LostGirl]

I have a very good feeling about BFPs in 2008 for all of you!!! Thank you for all your encouragement. I got goosebumps reading your congratulations, and teared up. It just makes it real to hear people acknowledge it, especially you ladies since you know what it takes to get to this point. Keep the faith, baby dust to all....

[gori]

Hi, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Nothing like the feeling of being pregnant!! You must be so...excited!!! There are several months ahead but try & enjoy each one, eat healthy, be happy & try to relax & enjoy your pregnancy. Your success story will be an inspiration to many women.
Take Care!!
Gori

[michelle38]

Wow, finally someone who expresses exactly how I have felt over the past few months!!!! Toxic, angry, bitter...... I know it all, LostGirl. (Synopsis: 4 failed IUIs/ 1 failed IVF/ 2 MC/ Almost no ins. coverage/ zero hope).

A quick word of advice to a few of the people responding here:

1) When you have kids, and tell us not to worry b/c kids are demanding, expensive and take all your energy....... please don't. I'm 38 and finally facing that I will never know what our children will look like, or whose personality they will get. I would trade places with you in a millisecond.

2) If you struggled with pregnancy.. and now have kids.. we are really happy for you. But don't say, hang in there!!! It will happen!!!! Your struggle with this specific problem is over. Overzealous enthusiasm for our future luck doesn't do anything but really annoy us. Just reach out & say, I feel your pain & I'm here for you, if you need anything at all.

Lost girl... I am putting you in my thoughts. I know exactly what you're feeling.

[michelle38]

Update to LostGirl- I only now just saw your awesome news!!! Congratulations & keep us all posted!!!
Smiles & bay dust to all the rest of us

[nicaliw]

YEAH Michelle, couldn't have said it better myself!!!!![/quote]

[Dexter]

Congratulations LOST GIRL. I bet it doesn't feel real. Great news. I have been reading your posts.

Just wanted to say re the term "hang in there", it is by no means an over zealous term. To me that means..You have one of 2 choices right now: Hang on and hope or give up and despair. I've done both. Neither have altered the outcome at any particular stage but hanging in there at least gave me the determination to rise out of the awful gloom and try again. If you don't try you can't get what you most desire, that's why we're all here really - to encourage each other when we need it most. None of us have any guarantees that this will happen for any of us, and as much as we want to throw the first throwable object at the next person who tells us to be positive when all we want to do is cry, we're riding a fine line here of sanity and insanity. We're teetering on the edge and sometimes need a push one way or the other. Just my 2 cents. Nothing personal.

Congrats again,

Dexter

[tennisgurl]

Lost Girl.....

Congratulations!!! You are pregnant!!!!! I am so happy for you.......

I know it is hard to believe and I know you want to be optimistically cautious.........trust me I am now 8weeks and the worry never ends- the feeling everyday for me is that something will happen- I just have to close my eyes and tell myself all that matters RIGHT NOW is that I am pregnant ---thats what you need to do and just take one day at a time

I am praying for you- All my best......

[gori]

Michelle38, I agree with some of your comments and I disagree with some. If you think that feeling sad, sulky and bitter and being hard on yourself as though it's the end of the world, is a solution for all problems in life, then I would like to point out to you that it's not the best solution... as it brings you no hope, nothing to look forward to in the future & means a dead-end in life! When you are feeling that down & so sad, you do need words of encoragement, words of hope, you do need to hear stories which are positive & miraculous, you do need to know that there is some hope in the future. Many of us hang by that thread of hope, even if that means it's just a hope! That thread of hope, got many of us through our difficult times, difficult times which are not over yet for most of us [even though we may be pregnant]. The good news is that all women on this forum understand each other's pain, concerns and emotions. So pls do not doubt any one's intentions. They are trying their best to make you, themselves & others feel better. Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves & trying to make you feel better- some may do it by saying: it's really sad, it's over for you, you have no hope in life & I feel bad for you... where as some may do it by saying: it's not the end of the world, it might happen in the future, there is always hope... so hang in there! I personally always preferred the latter [even when we tried hopelessly for yrs to conceive] as I am a positive person & I certainly like to infuse postive energies in other people too.
Wishing you the very Best, Baby Dust to you & to all us!!

[michelle38]

Dexter & Gori,

Your point is well taken, and I don't mean for my comments to sound negative. I've just seen this on many message boards, and from people in general.

I know they really, really do mean well, and want to help us feel better. But to me, someone shouldn't say "just relax, it will happen." Maybe it will, maybe it won't. They don't know. I was relaxed the first 2 years I tried. Why didn't it happen then?

I'm not negative.... nor am I positive. I'm just realistic. It is what it is.

I understand that some people want to be told that if you just hang onto the hope, that good luck will come to you. I personally don't prefer that type of support. I rather friends acknowledge my situation and tell me that they are thinking of me, & support me in any way they can.

It's all just personal preference I suppose. It's a hard thing to deal with.

Anyway, thanks for the diplomatic conversation. I'm really enjoying this message board.