Double Trouble

buckeyegal · Post by **buckeyegal** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 6:51 pm

Malinka--how old are your babies now? Mine went through an evening "fusiness" between 6-8 weeks. Thing is, your little guy has to learn to soothe himself to sleep. If you get in the habit of holding him until he falls asleep, then you'll be doing that for a long time to come...As for the ear infection, mine didn't really have any signs....so I can't be of much luck to you there (although, some kids get fevers or pull on their ears?). As for the sleep thing, have you read the book BABYWISE? I read it and it helped a TON with my two. I know Kimberly used bits and pieces of it as well. The big thing is a routine, where the babies put themselves to sleep...it's tough, but better now than later? Good luck!

woodcliff · Post by **woodcliff** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 3:24 am

Hope the babies are all better this week! poor little boys...with such good moms!

Kholtan, a Nanny question: Is your nanny a live in? If so, do you provide health insurance?

I am applying for an au pair, we have a small au pair 'suite' (bathroom, little kitchenette, etc) in the basement with a separate entrance...
I'll also get a night nanny to help with feedings (ha, not sure how I'll do the breast and bottle thingie, if I even can, so I can get 3 hrs of sleep at a stretch!)...and some extra help in the beginning...no famiy here to help out, it feels so hard to organize the logistics but I MUSt or I'll go nuts when the baby comes ...

How many hrs a week is your nanny? Did you get her from a company/service, and are you back at work or is she serving as your 2nd pair of hands? Ours will serve as my second set of hands, as I'll be home with the babies...
THXS for any insight.
And good luck with the baby sleeping!
xxooo

buckeyegal · Post by **buckeyegal** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:42 pm

Arrrggghhhh, Braeden was up countless times last night!

I thought we were doing better, but alas, no way. He woke up with his eye all crusted over too. So we're back to the doc today. I think he needs something different. I'm hoping maybe some eye drops, but I have a feeling the doc will prescribe a stronger antibiotic...

Woodcliff...wow, you are preparing! FYI--Malinka is the one with the nanny. I don't blame you for getting help, at least with early on. The first 4 weeks, I had family over every day/night. It was annoying, yet greatly needed, since I was bfing and supplementing. As for getting 3 hours sleep at a time, early on, you'll be lucky to get two. But don't fret, they do sleep longer fairly soon. By the end of my pregnancy, I wasn't sleeping longer than an hour at atime anyway (I always had to pee, had leg cramps, or was just uncomfy). It was great training for sleep deprivation!

Good luck iln your search for good help.

buckeyegal · Post by **buckeyegal** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:43 pm

Almost forgot....Laura, good luck at the scan today! Keep us posted on Jeremy!

woodcliff · Post by **woodcliff** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:38 pm

Kim, oops...sorry, I am so bad with keeping name straight!
I hope Braeden's visit today to the doctor goes well, and that he is feeling well soon...poor little guy, it's gotta hurt for all you moms to watch the little ones not feeling well...

Ah. Thanks for the info re: no sleeping...cracks me up, I don't sleep much at night but then sleep most of the day, sometimes, to make up for it...
I'm going to a BFing class next week...what I'd love to do is have a night nanny give the night feeding...BUT that may compromise my milk production...I wish I could just go straight to the bottle ... but I really, really want to try for at least one month, if possible, to use my milk and supplement with formula...Don't know if it will work!

I hear you re: family being in the way...but so sorely needed in the beginning...I want my sisters to come, do a tag team, one after another...after 2 weeks...hoping they will! And that by then I'm not as much of a mess as I'll be in the beginning!

BEST TO YOU ALL AND YOUR BABIES...especially those little boys!

kholtan · Post by **kholtan** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 7:55 pm

Good Luck Laura today! Jeremy will be in our thoughts all day! Fingers crossed!

Kim~ Such a bummer about Braeden!

I know how it is. Bodie doesn't sleep very well anymore at all. He's up twice a night still and it takes a while to get him back to bed. Hopefully he's on the mend soon. I'll be thinking of him.

Woodcliff~ I don't have a nanny but I was a nanny for a very long time specializing in infant care. I did have an agency that I used because from my end I could make a lot more money being represented. Also, I did a lot of educational things with the children and marketed myself as not only an extra set of hands but as a tool for learning as well. My age range was newborn to preschool and I basically did things to stimulate and educate all day long. For instance, if the toddler was learning about the sea and it's creatures I would take the kids to the aquarium one day, to the beach the next, and all our art projects would be sea/ocean themed that week. We had art, physical activity, kitchen help/prep, and alone time everyday. When I was with the infants we had tummy time, music time, touch-feel time, outdoor time, and alone time everyday.
My situation was a bit different because I never lived in and the families I worked for had MAJOR money. I had a compnay car, 4.5 months of paid vacation, a 401-K, great health insurance, and only worked from about 2-5. In the beginning and when I had infants I worked from about 9-5 or 8-5. They had cooks, house keepers, baby nurses at night, travel nannies, weekend nannies, and me. I did manage the other nannies as well and book them when needed but I didn't cook or clean ever,
A nanny can be exactly what you make it. Comunication is key with your help!!!! I cannot stress that enough! Let them know exactly what you want from them and also make sure you are always letting her know how you want to handle sleeping, feeding, activities, ect. I would say that the no t.v. or computer rule is also one that will keep her on her toes and not being paid for nothing. I saw many a good nanny wasted by t.v and computers. If they aren't turned on she will be more prone to doing things that you ARE paying her for. Don't be afraid to have your help hit the grocery store, run for diapers, prep some dinner, or what ever else you need. If what you want is one on one time with your babies and a less stressful environment for you then identify what will do that for you.
Paying well will also gt you better help. I hate to say it but it is true. The better nannies know what they are worth and aren't afraid to ask for it. Remember that the nore educated ones are also worth the extra money.
Au pairs. . . While I had many a great friend that did that they were more interested in a good party, seeing America, and often were much more work. They need transportation most often and while they are less money typically they are or can be not worth the discount. God bless them and I do have some of my WILDEST NYC memories from the sweet European agency that sent them over.
I could seriously keep writing for hours about the nanny thing so if you want to call and ask me anything my number is 208-869-2627.
Good luck!

Annelise has finally caught something in this house! WE are going to the Dr. to make sure it's not an ear infection. We are both riddled with a bad head cold and my little gal is all plugged up with the raspiest voice ever. IT's actually kinda cute!

Good luck today Laura and Kim!!!!! HOpe Jeremy and Braeden both have good news!

Hugs to everyone!
Kimberly

Sorry for the book!

LauraLou · Post by **LauraLou** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:04 pm

Thank you so much for the well wishes. Jeremy had his CT scan today. It only took 2 minutes, but he screamed like he was being tortured. They had him all wrapped up like a mummy.

I had a Dr's appt at 2:00 at the same hospital, so Jeremy, Nicholas and I were there from 11:30 am to 3:00 pm. I am exhausted! They got so tired of being in their stroller and got very fussy with no nap. So glad to be home. We will get the results in 2 days.

Kim- Sorry about the pink eye. The poor little guy must be miserable. DH and I got pink eye when in Jamacia a few years ago. It was so bad, they almost didn't let us on the plane to come home. The flight attendants woudn't come near us! Do you have to put the antibiotic eye drops in? I can only imagine trying to pry his eyelids open for that.

I will let you know what the dr says when we get Jeremy's results.

faithandhope · Post by **faithandhope** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:29 pm

Awww.LauraLou....saying some prayers and sending my thoughts to lil Jeremy! Hang in there!

kholtan · Post by **kholtan** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 11:04 pm

Laura~ Two days seems like forever huh? I'll be thinking of you and Jeremy. Sorry for the two minute scream-a-thon. Tow minutes can also last forever.

Just came back from the Dr. and Annelise just has a sore throat and head cold. I'm sad she's caught our ickies but glad she doesn't need any meds!
Although, the Dr. came right out and said he's worried about Bodie. Almost five months old and he doesn't babble or talk. He is VERY fidgitty(sp) and restless. Hard to get to sleep and still has periods of pain throughout the day or/and night. Doesn't roll over and seems to be light years weaker than his sister.He's going to make some calls and get us more help. I hope in my heart of hearts that he is not autistic as well. It's one of our biggest fears right now and he shows quite a few signs. What a scarey time!

Sounds like a lot of us could use a major glass of wine and some "me" time. I'll be hoping that this page has some really happy posts VERY soon!

Lots of love and hugs to everyone!
Kimberly

LauraLou · Post by **LauraLou** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:56 am

Oh Kimberly, I am so sorry you had more bad news. Hopefully he is just having a slow start and with some extra help he will catch up to his sister.

I caught Jeremy banging his head against the crib one day and my first thought was autism. It's in the news so much, it's hard not to worry about it. Does Bodie make eye contact? If you smile and laugh, will he smile and laugh back? I know those are important signs with autism.

Jeremy and Nicholas are behind with their language. Jeremy has just started making consonant sounds like baba in the last week. Nicholas still only makes vowel sounds like aaaaah. Twins are often behind in language, especially the boys.

Have you considered having the Early Intervention people come out and do an assessment of Bodie? I had them come and they did a complete assessment of the boys at 6 months. It was reassuring to hear that they were on target for their adjusted ages except for language.

If Bodie is behind for his age, they will do physical, speech and other types of therapy. It sounds like he might need some extra help. I am sure your doctor will also find additional resources to evaluate and help your little boy.

Please know that you are in my prayers.

kholtan · Post by **kholtan** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:41 am

Laura~ Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I am so relieved to know someone has been in my shoes. I appreciate the questions to help me find some answers.

Bodie does make LOTS of eye contact. Tons of it as a matter of fact and he laughs out loud a lot as well. We are always making him laugh because it's the only way we hear his cute voice. He even laughs when he hears people laughing that aren't talking to him. He loves to laugh and will look anyone in the eye. I knew these were signs so we were really happy he did both.
Physically, he just started to really use his legs for standing recently. He has always supported himself a little but now he stands for longer periods of time and is doing it on purpose. He has very little resistance when you pull him up to a sitting position from his arms and if you put his arms above his head he's pretty limp as well. He loves you to put his arms above his head and laughs at it so I'm not sure if this is why he won't pull back or not?
Sound wise, he makes NO sounds at all. He grunts air sometimes but can't push an actual noise out.
He also reflexes and jerks around a lot. His movements are not fluid at all and he is very unstable although he brings his feet up a ton. I would think he had better core strength because of that? He just fidgets and kicks around a TON and flings his arms everywhere.
Eating is something he could take or leave. Sometimes he does well at it and other times he pulls away often and jerks away from food. once his concentration is broke he is usually done as well. Having a twin near by breaks concentration often and with all of this he has slowly begun to gain less and less. He is probably only close to 11 lbs. right now. Some people have newborns that size! I let him eat as often as he will eat and he gets a bottle at night with extra calories in it but he rarely eats it all and it's only 4 oz. He also seems to gag somtimes on whatever is in his mouth at the time be it bottle, hand, or breast.
I am going to continue to talk to my Pediatrician about him and I LOVE the idea of someone coming out to get a new perspective on his progress. I would be just fine if he is simply a late bloomer and I hope that is the case.

So are your boys still out of the woods for autism? It's so scarey. I can't imagine having identicals and how stressful it can be to watch one have a problem or a Ct scan like today and not the other. With the different sexes I continually get to use it as an excuse so it helps buffer my fears. In the end I just hope and pray we all have healthy babies.

thanks again Laura. I just can't talk to many of my friends about this right now and this web page has been a savior for me. I guess I just don't want anyone to look at him differently or to think of him as sick or slow. I appreciate your thoughts and am so grateful.
Good night everyone~
Kimberly

Malinka · Post by **Malinka** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:29 pm

hi Ladies, it is pretty painful to read your posts lately, so sorry about your little ones. They are all in my thoughts!!
Kim, did you separate your babies because of the pink eye? Iti is contagious (sp??), right? HOpe lilttle Braeden will get better soon.

Laura, please let us know as soon as you get results on Jeremy!

Kimberly, as painful as it is, don't rash into things yet, I read somewhere that milestones of preemies and milestones of full term babies are different. Even if Bodie is a behind his milestones right now, he will catch up. However do the early intervention evaluation by no means, but don't jump into conclusions yet. You have great experience with infants, use it. Play with him, stimulate him maybe a lil bit more then Anna, and I think you will see the results. I am glad your pedi is on a top of the things as well, it is always great to have a doc who actually cares!

Girls, what can I do with my twins during their awake time, any suggestions? They are 6 weeks old

kholtan · Post by **kholtan** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 11:07 pm

Malinka~ you are so right. It is important not to rush to conclusions regarding my little man. I really am trying not to diagnose myself but to just keep on giving his symptoms and hoping a Dr. can identify them correctly along with his hydrocephalis. The hardest part is that he IS in pain sometimes and I could be more patient if Ididn't have to see that.

As far as activities go with a six week old there are a wide range of things to do. New sights and sounds no matter where they come from is a fun thing. Just getting out to do errands gives them a new experience. The obvious tracking objects, books and reading, staying a little longer in the bath and pooring water on their bodies, making sounds with your mouth that they can watch and follow and eventually immitate, tummy time, and of course a little alone time as well. My babies loved to be held while I danced to some music and they also have always loved to look at the fire in the fireplace. It doesn't take much to over stimulate a 6 week old but we tried to push them to that limit rather often. Just enjoy that age. It seems like yesterday but already I can't imagine them being so small again.

Take care everyone!
Kimberly

LauraLou · Post by **LauraLou** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 11:33 pm

The pedi called and Jeremy is fine, no premature fusing of the skull! He is just a little pointy headed kid. I am so relieved that it isn't serious.

Kimberly- I'm so glad to hear that Bodie laughs and makes eye contact. It sounds like he is very emotionally responsive. When the Early Intervention people came out, they showed me some things I could do with the boys to help develop muscles. There is no way to know how much of a difference it made, but at least I felt like I was doing something to help them. I am sure there are exercises you could do with Bodie to help develop his muscle tone.

Malinka · Post by **Malinka** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:14 am

Laura great news!! you must be so relieved!

Kimberly, thanks for the tips, will definitely try them.

Double Trouble

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