Just so sad

[nicaliw]

I'm down in the dumps. I'm at work right now and I feel like every direction I turn all I hear is my co-workers talking about their pregnancies. It just feels so unfair. I work with almost all women who are chilbearing age.

This morning I heard about one of them who just found out she's having twins, she wasn't even trying! Later someone working with me decided to go listen to her babies heartbeat and was so excited about it (I'm a L&D RN). Another is talking about how she's going to have babies in 3 years, got it all planned out.....and she probably will be lucky enough.

Does anyone else get sad when they hear about other people's pregnancies? Am I mean? I don't wish them any harm I just wanna be the one who is pregnant and having twins or listening to my babies heartbeat. I have had to hold back the tears so many times today. I wonder if I'll ever get past this feeling.

[goosemis]

I used to get sad. Now I think I'm just numb to it. The worst time was when we came home from the HCG test. Our dr. called to say it was BFN. Not 2 minutes later my bro-in-law called to say they were pg, again. We were devastated, and to reach really deep down to even sound slightly happy for them. It got to the point that I didn't want to spend Christmas with my family that year because my sister, my brother, my sis-in-law and bro-in-law all just had babies that year and the year before. I couldn't bear to take family pictures and have us be the only ones not a holding a baby. At that time too it seemed like the celebrities were all competing to get pregnant first, every soap opera, every TV show had a character announcing they were pg. Why not me?

I don't think it's as bad as your situation though. Having to work with ladies who are pg or just had babies - I can't imagine. Hang in there. Just keep thinking it will be you one day. In the meantime, during my "sour" days, I kept my head busy thinking of all the ways I could tell them off and how insensitive pg people around me were, especially the ones that complained about not getting enough sleep. I would kill for that. I never did say anthing but at least I felt better.

[jomae]

Nicaliw
I'm sorry your feeling down today its definately hard when you want something so bad and everyone else seems to do it with out even trying and it becomes easy to feel smothered by them to everywhere you go theres somebody either pregnant or with children I think at some stage we all go through the why me what have i done that was so bad stage its quite common i'm sure . i'm sorry i don't have any suggestions or quick fixes that will make you feel better except to say that you need to remember that your feelings are competely normal and no your not mean you just want something so bad and its hard to be constantly reminded that you don't have it yet. Are you cycling at the moment or plan to soon let us know how you go i hope you feel better soon

Wishing you all the luck and a baby bump really soon
Take Care JOMAE

[sonu911]

Hi Nic

You are not alone, after all we are humans. Its natural for our emotions to pour out. I have also felt the same thing many a times especially when my very close friends and relatives have their baby news and then they hide it from us....ugghhh, I feel awful. I feel dejected and neglected. Whenever I try to show my (natural) admiration for other kids, their parents (who know us) give us that pity look....I hate it.

Being a teacher, my job is to be with children but of slightly older age. By God's grace, I am popular among students and I can proudly (humbly too ) say that they admire me for whatever reason. Once one paent commented ''you are liked by them and you like them probably because you don't have a kid of your own, once you have them, you will know how is it to have them for life''....I felt like gunning down that person.

Ya it hurts, Nic....especially when you see parents who are blessed with kids not spending sufficient quality time with their children, who just take them for granted. They don't value for what they have...and here we are wanting to have atleast one blessing in our arms. There are many kids around me about whom I feel that I would have done a better job being their moms...(quite a wishful thinking though !!)

Today is my day of venting out!!!

[Dexter]

Nicaliw,

Yes those feelings you describe are so perfectly valid and normal. That must be so hard having it in your face all day. You are very strong. Are these people aware of your situation? I found it easier to tell all my friends as they soon stopped sending me the gushing baby emails and plonking the babies on my DH lap every time we were out at a function (which would always set me off). I preferred to be left out of it all. Other women feel different though.

I remember a colleague of mine rubbing my tummy every day trying to 'pass on her fertile vibes' to me. Apparently she got pg at the drop of a hat. She meant well but it was so very hard.

Nicaliw, you never know, you may be joining in those baby conversations sooner than you think and this will all seem like a bad distant memory. Hold your head high and believe your turn awaits. I was told one of the most beautiful things last week from a fellow IVF friend who did 14 attempts in all to get her 2 little girls. She said to me "when those children come along you will know exactly why you had to wait so long...because they will be the EXACT perfect children for you and you couldn't imagine it any other way". That really brought me comfort knowing we had waited so long for the right little souls to be given to us from God.

Sending love, strength and baby dust..

Dexetr xox

[sonu911]

sorry for the duplicate post!!!

[Anie]

Hi Nicaliw and all the ladies posted here.

I read all the posts and they are so true!!!

I know how you feel. I'm the same...
It is very hard to see others getting pregnant and we still trying and going through all the drugs and emotion ups and downs. Even i that the though that i don't want to meet people or be in social events because if i go i know what people will say. It hurts and it is annoying. Specially when they come with advices....like we don't know anything about it!

I believe in destiny. I believe that things happen when they are meant to happen. Of course this is easy to say and you may not even realize that but once you do then you just have to be strong and wait to be blessed.

I had 2 failed cycles and when i look back i realize that it failed because it was not done in right time (busy life,stress or whatever the reason is). Maybe it was not meant to be then and i will wait till i get my BFP.

Please be strong and you will see that soon you will have a cute baby in your arms (or maybe 2!).

We are all here and we know how it feels. Ignore the others. They don't know how hard you are trying and it is not your fault that it didn't happen yet.

Sending you lots of baby dust.

Anie

[nicaliw]

I so appreicate knowing you are all their for me. I just had to vent. You are all so wonderful!

[srlegaspi]

Nicaliw,

I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I tried for 4 years before finally becoming pregnant on our 2nd round of IVF. In that time I had numerous friends call and tell me they were pregnant. I used to cry and cry everytime I got that phone call. I didn't want to be sad but it's just the way that I felt. Then after crying I even felt worse because I felt so selfish for getting upset over something that is a miracle from God.

Don't be hard on yourself. It is perfectly normal to feel as you do.

People tried telling me all the time that I would eventually get pregnant and I never believed them. I am now 17 weeks pregnant...so I know it can happen.

Just be patient and don't feel bad for feeling the way that you do. We have all been there. Your time will come....just remember that there is a reason for everything. I think the 4 years of trying so hard just made me a stronger person.

Good luck to you!

[jcw]

I'm exactly the same - it's got to the point where I can barely walk past a pregnant woman without starting at her. I dread the email/phone call from friends to say they are expecting and currently I just cannot talk to or about one particular friend who is pregnant. I know its not their fault and than I'm being (slightly) irrational but I just can't help it.

I hope everything finally works out for you so it can be you with the happy news.

[cathann]

You are certainly not alone! I'm a little bit better about that stuff now, but I remember crying and getting angry when people I knew got pregnant. I have a friend who had one child and then got pregnant again....with twins! I was SO jealous . I think those feelings are normal. Just try to keep a positive attitude, your time will come.

Cathann

[not hopeless yet]

Hi Nicaliw-
I think we've all been there... Everywhere you turn it seems people are popping up pregnant. What hurts the most is when they know you're having trouble and they still say stuff like "we weren't even trying!" A lot of my friends are having babies this year and I'm so jealous of them and so sad about my situation, that I honestly had to avoid them for like 5 mths... Sometimes I'd feel like I was a bad friend for feeling jealous instead of being happy for them. But I also allowed myself to have those feelings. I am allowed to be jealous and sad DAMMIT! But eventually I come around and can be happy for their lil family. I mean, I have to attend their showers, don't i?
Hang in there Nicaliw.

[not hopeless yet]

Hi Nicaliw-
I think we've all been there... Everywhere you turn it seems people are popping up pregnant. What hurts the most is when they know you're having trouble and they still say stuff like "we weren't even trying!" A lot of my friends are having babies this year and I'm so jealous of them and so sad about my situation, that I honestly had to avoid them for like 5 mths... Sometimes I'd feel like I was a bad friend for feeling jealous instead of being happy for them. But I also allowed myself to have those feelings. I am allowed to be jealous and sad DAMMIT! But eventually I come around and can be happy for their lil family. I mean, I have to attend their showers, don't i?
Hang in there Nicaliw.

[loopie]

Two thoughts -
yes- I am getting really mad at pregnant ladies for whom it is so easy to get knocked up, and I completely empathize on the subject.

But then I think about when I get to tell folks at school about my BFP, I don't think I will mention all the work I went through to get there - it's just not their business - and when they ask, if we were trying, I think I will tell them that we were "not trying not to get pregnant"
So of all of the gals in the office or walking down the street who are bumpin', one of them may be us - and for that, I am ever grateful - oh crap, I just started crying I've always been an emotional happy crier- it's just getting so much worse these days!

Bumpin' 08!!!!!

I have ET in a few hours

loopie

[nicaliw]

Loopie.....good luck today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait to hear about your BFP in 2 weeks!