more sad news I'm afraid

beckym · Post by **beckym** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 11:13 am

We had our 8 week scan on Monday and they could see nothing in the sac. They said the embie had been reabsorbed (ie missed miscarriage). They offered me the option of D&C or to wait for natural bleeding. I chose the former as we are going to France on Tuesday and I didn't want to have unexpected heavy bleeding. I went down for the op on Tuesday morning. As you can imagine we were gutted-lots of tears. Having said that, I have to say thet right from day 16 hcg levels I feared that something might be wrong as they were quite low, then on the last 6 week scan the foetal pole was only measured at 5 weeks 6 days when it should have been 6 weeks 6 days even though she said she could see a heartbeat. Felt very, very bitter for the first 24 hours but feeling a lot more positive now. Would rather have found out now than later on that something was wrong. Would be good to hear stories from people who have had early m/cs and then gone on to get to second/third trimester and beyond in next IVF cycle though? Anyone out there? Is it true that if you have got pg once on IVF you are more likely to get pg again? hope so as we can only afford one more go. beckym xxx

Dolly · Post by **Dolly** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 12:00 pm

Becky, I am so, so sorry to read your news. As you know I'm going through exactly the same thing at the moment and I understand how gutted you both must be. I'm pleased to hear that you are feeling more positive - I'm afraid I don't know the answers to your questions - but hope that girls will write in with lots of positive stories that will give us both hope for the future. Thinking of you both - take care Love and hugs Dolly

GB · Post by GB » Thu Dec 18, 2003 12:20 pm

Hi there... I posted on the other side...but just wanted to say how gutted I am for you both. May the new year bring only good things. Take care. Lotsa luv and merry Christmas! Love Gila x-x-x

Dagny · Post by **Dagny** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 12:26 pm

Oh my God Becky I am so shocked and sad for you. I had a feeling something might have been wrong when you hadn't been logging on recently. I have tears rolling down as I write. I am so so sorry that this has happened. You and your DH really do not deserve this especially as you have been through so much already. You seem so strong and I really hope it all works out for you eventually. Keep that positive thinking and have a safe journey to France on Tuesday. I think that many girls have gone on to have successful pregnancies after a MC. My thoughts are with you both and I will light a candle tonight and pray for you and your sad loss. I will look forward to meeting you on the 21st of Jan. Lots of love and huge hugs - God Bless Love Dagny x

bubblymichelle · Post by **bubblymichelle** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 12:38 pm

Hi Beck, I am so sorry to have to read a post like yours, my thoughts are with you!! i'm glad your feeling a little more positive in yourself that will help you big time. You take as much time as you need and remember we are all here for you. Take Care Love Shell. xx

vickib · Post by **vickib** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 1:13 pm

Dear Becky I am so very very sorry to read your post. I too was worried when you had not posted for a while. No words seem enough for the pain you must be feeling. My thoughts are with you and your DH. Love to you both Vicki

LORI630 · Post by **LORI630** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 1:34 pm

Oh Becky, You don't know me but I'm so sorry for you. I hardly post, but you ask for hopeful stories of getting to 2nd or 3rd trimester after early miscarriage and I'm one. ICSI number 1 I had severe ohss with 2 wweeks in hospital, drains in my waist, near organ failure, then had an early pg loss. We changed from our terrible clinic to the wonderful ARGC, but I started to ohss again & Mr T had to coast me for 6 days, so horrible negative beta. ICSE number 3 Mr T controlled things so delicately on microdoses of Gonal F I only coasted 1 day. We transferred 3 day 5 blasts, & froze 3 day 6 blasts. I got pg with triplets, lost one early on, but have hung on to my 2 sweet babies and am 29 weeks today. I'm 39, and they're due after my 40th birthday. I know you ohss'ed a bit and it's not supposed to be so good for embies. I'm sure the ARGC will control things perfectly for you next time; they learn so much about you with every cycle. It's so easy to regard a negative beta or early loss as a failure but it's not; it brings you one step closer to your baby. Also, one of the nurses there told me that hard as they are to manage, their ohss patients always get their babies in the end. Give youself time to heal; you'll be a mum; my sister used to say to me when I cried and cried, 'your baby is waiting for you; she or he will come when they're ready'. Lori xx xx

fiona_lk · Post by **fiona_lk** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 1:47 pm

Hi Becky, I'm so sorry to read your news - I was so hopeful after getting over your first hurdle. I am one of the successful ones you seek news of. I had 14 ART cycles altogether - we have m/f and did 4 clomid/7 donor IUIs and 3 ICSIs. I got pg on our 2nd ICSI but this was sadly ectopic - I conceived naturally (and miraculously) on my next period after the ectopic, only to miscarry at 6 weeks. My next ICSI has produced Xander bump and I am now 26 weeks 3 days pg. Do not loose faith - it can happen. I wish you all the best of luck for your next steps and will be thinking about you as you go through the next difficult few weeks. Love Fiona xxx

Dawn Blake · Post by **Dawn Blake** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 3:37 pm

Becky I am so sorry to read your news, we live in a very cruel world. Wishing you every success for the future, try not to give up hope, your time will come. Thinking of you both. And echo Gila's words for the New Year! D x [Edited by Dawn Blake on 18-Dec-03 07:38]

Trace100 · Post by **Trace100** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 6:30 pm

Oh Becky I am so so sorry to hear your sad news, I really am, its such a horrible thing to happen. I wish you lots of luck in the future, you have kept this side of the site going really well with your kind words and thoughts. Have a lovely time in France together. Take Care, and love to you both Tracy x

Di · Post by Di » Thu Dec 18, 2003 9:51 pm

Hi Becky, Have already posted on the other side for you but just wanted to say you and DH are in my thoughts! I too had a m/c but at 10weeks. Our 1st sacn at 6 weeks showed the baby to be small for dates but there was a heartbeat so I went back a week later and they said they were happy. We then asked for a scan at 10 weeks and on that one there was no heartbeat - like you I opted for a D&C. As you know I'm now 17 weeks. And they do say that having got pg once is a postitive sign and will give you hope once you've givenb yourselves time to grieve for this lost wee one! Hope that you can enjoy France and that 2004 brings you your little miracle! Di

beckym · Post by **beckym** » Fri Dec 19, 2003 11:25 am

Thank you all so much for your kind words and positive stories. Lori and fiona and Di, you have given me hope that it can happen next time. Lori, when I see Mr T on the 16th I am going to emphasize that I do not want to go through ohss again and that they must try to reduce my dosages - I coasted for 5 days this time and find it almost impossible to drink 6 litres of water a day!! Good luck to you all with your babies. I shall be popping in to check on you all! beckym xxx

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Sat Dec 20, 2003 9:55 am

Becky Just popped on becuause it was Oliver's funeral yesterday - I am so sorry - having had one ectopic and just had a service for my little son I can imagine what you are feeling. It does get better and whilst you must grieve when you can look forward - your chances of being pg again are much greater once you have got there. With our special thoughts Tracey xxx

Lisa Ch · Post by **Lisa Ch** » Sat Dec 20, 2003 5:25 pm

Beckym was so hoping this would not be why we hadn't heard from you. I am so sorry, I hope this doesn't sound harsh or come out the wrong way but you are one huge step further than last time and I pray that your next treatment will be your last step to motherhood. You deserve it so much. Thanks for all the help and support you have given to me over our last 2 treatments. Enjoy France and have a great christmas and 2004 will be the year for you and dh. Will be watching out for your posts. Take care, love and hugs Lisa xx

SallyP · Post by **SallyP** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 1:52 pm

Dear Becky, So sorry to have read your post, you must be devastated. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better, I only wish there was. Hope you have a lovely holiday and that your dream will come true in the new year. love Sally xxx

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