Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[Jen1d]

Am back in England girls, staying over here one night at the in laws then off home tomorrow.

All went well, we now have two fab embies on board that survived the thaw, grade 10 and 7 with all cells in tact and developing nicely-----hope it continues.

Ok will catch up when i get home, away to put my feet up.

Thanks for updating the girls Little and good luck with your scan.

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

oops forgot to say, test date is the 11th

Jen x

[lolajones]

Hey octos

Jen - nice one chica! So we are now on the countdown to results-ville AARRRGGGGHHH!!! The dreaded 2ww!!! But you are a veteran, an olympian of these sorts of things so ney problem. Looking forward to a new ticker so I can keep track

Littles - wowzer she's back! Glad you're ok and am sure 16 week scan will be fantastico. Are you feeling any better? I suppose the morning sickness has stopped now???

Walsheroo - on the road again and gearing up to next cycle. Must be so hard to diet in australia with all your yummy food. So how do you feel about joining the race again? Its been a while.

Steph - pffttt

Well I am in full on anger grrrr mode at the moment. Best friend got pregnant and she told me by SMS, a really flippant, condescending text message. I am furious with her, so thoughtless and frankly shabby behavior. As usual, this was an "accident" (her second) and she didn't really want kids. It never gets any easier but this has hurt particularly badly. Anyway, need to get my head back in the game. Had acupuncture today, bueno. Headaches have gone, hot flushes here but I sort of like them really. Have my scan day after tomorrow and hopefully will then start the stims. Oy! This cycle is going quickly, hoorah. Have been working on plan B (y'know, in case of FAILURE!) currently consists of Barbados and booze.
Have still not even begun my dissertation..... will knock it out this weekend using my anger as fuel like an engine of hate GGRRRR

Righto Pips, I'm off to slave in the kitchen. Yes, I know, I am quite the wife

Take it muy easy, conchitas

Lola
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[Inhale, Exhale]

Helloooo ...

I know I am quite the disappointment to Jen and Loops lately. sorry for my cheer absence, however, I am back and spankys are lighted and ready for a rump shaker dance-a-thon.
actually, this business of not having internet access at home is getting quite tiresome, especially when work has been slamming and I have no time for fun chats. I skipped a lunch out today to cheer you girls through....

Jens- I think all sounds perfecto with lovely transfer and you will be knocked up with gorgeous BFP. Now, how are we passing the time on 2ww.. oh the dreaded wait.. I suggest a nice hobby like smut reading. always a favorite of mine, and the romantic novels always supply a feel good happily ever after ending. unlike the movie Atonement that I went to see with a friends... yikes that movie sucked the life right out of me... should have known as all the critics love it.. a sure sign I will hate it! Hated it with a finger snap...

Loops- I can feel your glare of dissappointment from across the globe.. sheez... but you can turn that frown upside down.. we both know you can't stay mad at me.. you love my wiley ways too much for that. would it help if I send chocolate.. nothing says love like chocolate. Demetrio is on his way... so, you get scanned tommorrow.. all good news of course. by the by- very insensitive of your friend I'd say.. she needs a glare.. she can have the one you've been sending my way! The spankys I am sporting for your cycle have the words "get jiggy with it" in sparkles across the bum. .. who loves you most!

Walshy- I love that you drop in and tease us and dissappear again.. teasy sleasy. I am also adjusting to life back on the exercise ban wagon. with all of the craziness with hubbys mom I have had 4 long weeks off from doing anything remotely healthy.. but I Turbo Jammed my *ss off last night and feel slightly better and re-motivated today. I say slightly because it would also be nice to go back to being lazy.. but I am a true exerciser at heart and know I feel better when I do it... so I do as they say and... Just Do It.

Littles- so glad all is well... 16 week scan.. all will be fab. Are you going to find out which flavors you have at your 20 week scan? I found out.. I am impatient.. had to know if boy or girl... I am a planner and had to plan a proper nursery for whichever it was.

As for me- like I said work is crazy busy and full of traveling. Plus I have to go to a 3 week training at the end of February. Three long weeks across the state in a very boring area... and there isn't even good tv on with the writers strike.. what's a girl to do? I guess I will be stocking up on smut books... I really hope there is internet in the hotel... and a gym. As requested I will try to get a recent pic out of Faith very soon. She is walking, has been for about a month or little longer.. she is advanced of course!

Luck to Jens and Loops!!!!!!

Steph

[Jen1d]

Well girls you didnt get rid of me as i'm back

Have sent you all an email with some photos

Wont bore you with all the details but all went fine.

Was dreading going to Girona airport but found it really easy and fast. Straight off plane, straight on to bus and 10-15 min walk to Hotel Montblanc, which was really nice, airy and clean plus 5 min walk if that to Las Ramblas. Found it so much better to stay near the centre then just travel over to IM which took 15-20 mins on the metro.
Sunday everything was closed but we walked from hotel to end of Barcelona---i kid you not---along the beach and past twin towers (port olimpia) and beyond. Took 2 and a half hours but was gorgeous in the sun.

Anyway had my diazipam and felt lovely and calm and a bit dizzy this time but et was a breeze. Dr a bit confused about why its not working as she said our embies are good and all the tests in UK and IM are al clear. Think this is sometimes more frustrating-----WHY IS IT NOT WORKING????? Was pleased about our embies being a 10 and 7 and Dr said they look good and are continuing to develop well with no cells lost.
So the wait is on but i am taking a day at a time and praying hard. Going back to work on Monday.

So back to this dreary weather. We just love Barcelona and was a bit sad there might be no more visits there---we'll see.

So am off to the couch---nothing like a bit of chilling and some trash tv.

Loops - So everything is moving along so fast. Funny i got hot flushes with my first cycle then 1 major headache with my first patches on the 5 cycle and nothing again----hopefully thats a good sign for the menopause Your friend sounds heatless---is she a friend?? wouldnt be mine but never mind, chin up you will have your own good news to rub in her nose soon Good luck with your scan.

Littles - So your moving on fast, those babies are definately holding on tight and will definately be visiting this world. After so long and so many cycles you deserve every second of bliss. When is your next scan?
Thanks for updating the girls and keeping me positive with your txt-----anyone elses mobile numbers will be accepted by email if they want to join in?

Walshy - So whats your plans Miss. Wish you wouldnt keep disappearng as we miss you. You thinking of cycling again?

Steph - So Little Miss Disappointment---you are forgiven but isnt this the second time in the last few months we have had to forgive you mmmmmm i will have to start kicking some butt if you run out on us again ok You better find an internet in that hotel
So all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy--have you heard that saying in America. Dont know where you get all the energy from.
So little Faith is walking, will be fab to see a photo. You planning anymore so she can have a sibling or is that to much to think about?

Ok off to chill, catch you later

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Hey sweetie pies

How is everyone today?
Jemla - man, this next week and a half will go so quickly and then..... sweet sweet news!!!

Spanky-panted dance moves to my other octo-fabs!

So, scan today and its given me the bad vibes about this cycle...
New junior doctor - every bit as cold and blase as the others at H/Smith - says I have an ovarian cyst and therefore will have to take my buserelin injections twice a day for another week then re-scan then decide what to do (start stimms, drain or cancel cycle). So I was more than a bit assed off - I know I know, small blip but NOT IN THE MOOD FOR ANY SIZED BLIP AT ALL!!! Anyway, feeling pretty sorry for myself thinking cycle is doomed from the start. Just had phone call from hosp saying that they now have my blood test results and I CAN start stimms on monday and no worries about the cyst. Huh?? Sigh. This confusion has (in combo with my lack of sleep, "friend" issues, hormones) kicked off my gastritis again. I feel like crap today - had discussion with "friend", we both got upset, its a hard situation. So, in mutinous mood I have escaped work - time to look after number one dudes. I need more rest. Less stress. Y'all dig?

and...exhale.......back to zero

Sorry amigos! will be back in positivity mode asap - promise!

Big love
Lola
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[Jen1d]

Oh Loops

That is just crap news that your feeling so low.
Excuse me for having a dumb blonde moment but if the hospital think its ok to start stimms even if there is a cyst there is this not good??
Or
Are they starting you but the cycle could be stopped?

You poor thing, why do us girls have so much shit to deal with.

Glad you had a chat with your friend and tried to sort out that problem-----others will just never understand how we feel---ever.

My mum keeps telling me about other peoples daughter, cousins etc who "have decided not to have family, and are happy"---does my head in. Then last night she announced that i shouldnt go through any more cycles as its far to stressful emotionally. I explained that if i didnt have more cycles or a child i would still be stress and emotional as i have to live with the pain but as always others seem to know best how we feel but NEVER will.

Know you wont want to hear this but chin up, shoulders back and be strong, thats the Loops we love. You will get there, this is just a small blip in your plan.

Am here for you babe, anytime.

[Jen1d]

Loops

How you feeling today babe?



Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

Hi gang

Am fine today, feeling nothing and not looking into anything as i have been there before and it got me zilch. Actually i feel so normal that i think its already over

Got a bit of disappointment just now. Remember the hospital here in the uk have offered us a free cycle, the only problem is i need eggs, so they advertised for us but i just got an email saying only 2 people enquired about donating eggs------i am gutted. If this cycle doesnt work then the free cycle is our last chance and if we cant get eggs then we wont even be able to do the cycle. The hospital said they will wait another week then put the add in the paper again but i feel so scared this might be our last cycle now

There is some positive news, we have been appointed a social worker (s/w) to deal with adopting and she is visiting on the 5th, so at least thats moving forward--------------but i want to have my own baby.

Oh god this is so hard, what did we all do to deserve this crap

Will pop in later when i find my smile and sense of humour

Love Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

My lovelies Jens and Lo-la-la-la,

I am so sad that you are both so sad.... you both have every, every right to be... but as I am Cheer Master Spanky Pants, it is my duty to pick up up and keep you focused forward. Here we go:

Loops- A crappy cycle does not make a BFN. You can have a cycle run smooth as silky spankys and still get bfn OR you can have every hurdle present along the way and get fab-u-lo-so BFP.... It is not even a question that a BFP is on the way. And, a special order for these little beans... they are coming with compass and superstrength sticky gloves. Guaranteed to find chez-Loops and stick for a solid 9 months!! Guarantee.. absolute.. no question... meant to be! Don't doubt my powers of persuasion..

Jens- Feeling like nothing is happening is sometimes a GOOD thing.. I feel i need to remind you that when I had bfp, I felt like nothing was happening.. then when became preggers with Faith, again.. nothing, no signs... so don't fret over the nothingness.. tis normal in BFP's. I do hope that you get more of a response on eggs, but, all likeliness you won't need them!! and if you do end up adopting.. baby WILL be yours.. will be a "baby of your own".. motherhood is not about being pregnant ( I wsa so nervouse soemthing would happen I didn't even enjpy mine), it is about the cuddles and hugs, bottles and tummy laughs, bathtime fun and chasing around the house. All of those moments will be yours.. just a matter of a little more time. You have been so strong and patient.. hold on with superstrength little longer and all your dreams will come true!!

I want all your dreams to come true and I feel that this is going to happen for both my sweetpeas!! you deserve it, so it shall be!!

Take care!!!!
Steph

[Inhale, Exhale]

My lovelies Jens and Lo-la-la-la,

I am so sad that you are both so sad.... you both have every, every right to be... but as I am Cheer Master Spanky Pants, it is my duty to pick up up and keep you focused forward. Here we go:

Loops- A crappy cycle does not make a BFN. You can have a cycle run smooth as silky spankys and still get bfn OR you can have every hurdle present along the way and get fab-u-lo-so BFP.... It is not even a question that a BFP is on the way. And, a special order for these little beans... they are coming with compass and superstrength sticky gloves. Guaranteed to find chez-Loops and stick for a solid 9 months!! Guarantee.. absolute.. no question... meant to be! Don't doubt my powers of persuasion..

Jens- Feeling like nothing is happening is sometimes a GOOD thing.. I feel i need to remind you that when I had bfp, I felt like nothing was happening.. then when became preggers with Faith, again.. nothing, no signs... so don't fret over the nothingness.. tis normal in BFP's. I do hope that you get more of a response on eggs, but, all likeliness you won't need them!! and if you do end up adopting.. baby WILL be yours.. will be a "baby of your own".. motherhood is not about being pregnant ( I wsa so nervouse soemthing would happen I didn't even enjpy mine), it is about the cuddles and hugs, bottles and tummy laughs, bathtime fun and chasing around the house. All of those moments will be yours.. just a matter of a little more time. You have been so strong and patient.. hold on with superstrength little longer and all your dreams will come true!!

I want all your dreams to come true and I feel that this is going to happen for both my sweetpeas!! you deserve it, so it shall be!!

Take care!!!!
Steph

[lolajones]

Hola folks!

Jen. You are right, no-one else does understand our situations so you need to do what's right for you. I'm sure you'll have a few more responses. And anyway, all you need is one happy donor - look at my sil! Someone she met at the dentists! And thats all Plan B stuff anyway! Got to maintain positivity about those lovely grade bueno embies currently snuggling up at casa Jemla. You will be this months miracle girl, its your turn chica.

Steph - thanks for your spanky-panted return to thread to bring sunshine and whoop ass sensible talk. Still awaiting Faith photos but y'know, in your own time. You never did answer the second child question.... huh hum.

Littles - how was scan??? Are they boys or girls???

Walsheroo - what's the what child?

so, I'm still down regging and still feeling like crappola - just uber tired. The hot flushes just make it impossible to sleep dudes. Can't wait to start the stimms on monday and hopefully get better sleep. I know I'm always a bit neg about cycles but I can't believe I'll be lucky enough to get up duff again this cycle, y'know? After all the past cycles. I had an anxiety dream the other night, was horrible. I had a baby but it was tiny and in a little glass jar and it kept going missing, a friend had it and then left it in a room and by the time I got there, the baby was drowning but I saved it and it was ok and then it sort of shrank and was in a tiny glass vial in my bag. But my bag dropped on the floor and everything spilled out and I couldn't find the baby and I was looking and looking and scared and thinking how could I let this happen? But in the end - I found it and I remember feeling so relieved and happy. happy ending!! I hope we all get ourselves one of those!! I was telling my mum about the dream - pretty obvious it's all about losing the 2 babies. but happy ending means I still have hope that it will all turn out ok in the end!

Off out for (alcohol-free) dinner tonight with the out laws. weekend of rest and my dissertation! Managed to work for 6 hours on it today - my eyes are bloodshot! mmmmmm, gorgeous.

OK my fine friends, have a fantastic weekend
Love like a loaded weapon
Lola
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[Jen1d]

Hey Loops

Glad your feeling a bit more positive today

Your dream sounds quite scary but at least it had a happy ending, so hope this is true for you babe.
As i've said in the past------zillions of times-----if you have managed to get a bfp before i definately think you will get one again and its just a matter of time---look at Littles. Where as me---well i have never been there so i think its time to give up very soon. Even though the Dr's in the UK and Big B keep saying there is nothing wrong with me and all the tests and embies are clear and fine---then it should work---its quite clearly NOT. Hang in there your time will come.

Have been resting well but off to the cinema for a couple of hours as dh want to see Cloverfield and i'm being a dutiful wife and going with him---well its only fair, he usually puts up with the films i want to see then its back to chilling with mother over for tea.
I always feel guilty if i go out and about so i try to rest as much as possible.

Had a few af feelings in the old tum this morning but they went after bout 10mins. It was just when i had taken my pessary so i think its was the medi???

Ok chicka, as you say

Catch up later and hopefully get some more info on the rest of the gang---Littles get back here, info please.

WAITING WAITING WAITING Oh god that ticker is going so slow

Love Jen x

[little R]

Hey there Octopals,

Well, well, well...lots of reading to catch up on....

Jen, hope them feet are still up!!!
You're such a good wife, going to the movies with the DH
First things first... I FELT NOTHING this last IVF...in fact, a lot less than when it was a BFP for IVF1. You would have thought I would have had more "sensations" as there were initially triplets. I think I do remember feeling pain in my right side, but think that was the ectopic implantation. Anyway... I personally think that no signs during that time is a good sign. I do remember having really bad cramping right before my test date and naturally thought it was AF rearing her ugly head, but after frequent nerve-wracking trips to the loo, no blood. I am praying for your miracle, but you have to too Hang in there and try and turn the other cheek (easier said than done) when it comes to the "messages" others feel you need to hear. At this point whatever anybody says to comfort you it's annoying... who understands unless you've been through it.
Take care, little lady and will be looking forward to the 11th... my Mum keeps asking about you and wondering how you got to be so strong. In fact she knows all about my "Octobuddies" and often asks about you girls... she's so sad and thinks we all deserve our happiness.
I am trusting that your embies will stick and you won't need the donors

Lola lass, okay... if you don't mind me saying... your BFF is an ass... I think that she should be friends with my SIL (who has "my situation is always far worse than yours" syndrome). Even when I try and "be nice and open", I realise that you can't win and she drives me up the wall. It's a long story and I will not bore you with the details... basically I got to hear that although my story is slightly differently, she has been wanting a child for 9 years (far worse than my situation) however she's only be married to my brother for 3 months and I am SURE she won't have any problems getting up the duff as she already has a nine year old with her former husband. I really didn't get my much pleasure from telling my own brother I was preggers.... I am really sorry about your friend and her insensitivity... some people need to be clobbered!
On another note, if I may , the prognostic for our last IVF was dismal... despite seemingly having a great harvest my eggs seem to not have been very mature and after fertilisation, we were pretty much told not to get our hopes up. The embryologist pretty much sounded as if we were doomed and that IVF may not even be a solution...well out little embies showed them all!!! Trust your embies and their strength... I am sure that you will be fine I can't say it enough...it's YOUR turn.
Your dreams certainly sound frightening.... I can understand your fear...I still haven't got over the threatened miscarriage..the scariest thing ever...you feel so helpless as you can't do anything, but be a passive by-stander as you well know. All is crossed that your embies will be little superheroes and will not give you any scares once you get your BFP! This week I have woken myself up crying, seeing images of pools of blood everywhere...horrible. I hope it will pass.
Good luck with the dissertation... as if you didn't have enough on your plate.
Poor you, downregging is a pain... it took me 3 1/2 weeks... but was lucky not to have to do the shots every day...had one shot and then waited

Steph, so you're off and about then? You certainly can talk the talk...very impressive! Can't believe Faith is one and she's toddling around Hugs to you!

Walshy, I trust you're okay. I keep meaning to mail you but spend a limited amount of time in front of the pc as not comfortable and keep being told to put them feet up hugs to you!

SO since you keep asking... 16wk scan was very positive...all's well with growth. Unfortunately DH not here again so has missed out on the scans since 8wks... My mother is over taking care of me and she cried seeing the little ones...
Our little boy is quite the exhibitionist, he couldn't wait to show us (and kept showing us) his family jewels as for his little sister, she was calmer and we saw her scratch her head in wonder
All a bit of a miracle and I still can't quite believe I am here.... I did think of you whilst watching them and hoped/prayed that you would be in my shoes VERY soon as you ALL deserve it.
I can only hope that all will be well with the twins...
Next scan is at 20wks...

MUCH love to you all...

Lola, am better with texting (you can ask Jen) so if you want more support please send me your mobile number via email.

Littles

[Jen1d]

Oh Littles

It all sounds so perfect, a lovely boy and a girl-----you are a lucky girl and yep i pray i can have that lucky one day soon but well, we'll see.

So glad everything is going well after all you have been through.
Whats the date of your next scan?



Sorry this is brief but my mum is coming for dinner any second. Say hi to your mum and thank here for thinking about us.

Speak soon

Love Jen x