Thank you, thank you, thank you....
I feel rotten today and reading your posts has been a tremendous help and encouragment.
Chriss - you are always welcome here - (and that goes to anyone else who reads but hesitates in posting for the same reasons).... that is the blessing of being a child of God. He doesn't require you to know everything off the bat or quote scripture or immediately possess a high level understanding of the Bible or maturity in spiritual growth. I feel lacking all the time... and trust me, there are precious few verses I could quote, I just find them as I study or as I hear them and then have to go back to be sure I get them right when I type 'em in here! He does know our hearts and all of our imperfections but He loves us and wants to be near us. I feel very inadequate when it comes to knowing what to say or how to pray... but I know that as long as what I say/pray is heartfelt and pure, He will hear my prayers and He will use my service... no matter how small or insignificant it might seem to us.
I say all this, feeling guilty because I just posted a big 'ol venting post on the other thread because I'm feeling sad after my acupunture appt today. (quick version: he told me that I could have IF issues of my own, not just b/c of DH's vasectomy, but that in order to "overcome it" I just need to "be happy" & "de-stress" my life - needless to say, I wasn't "happy" with what he had to say, so "happy" isn't coming easy for me today).
But... coming back to Him through the incredible blessings from you all (you are all vessels that He is using to encourage me and minister right now!) reminds me that HE is in charge! I used to have this little post card in my car - it had a .... wait, I found it!!,... it looked like this...
I used to keep this in my car... that is me today! No matter what my LAc says, or whether I indeed have IF issues myself or not... My LAc isn't in charge, my RE isn't in charge and I'm CERTAINLY not in charge... but I am so very blessed because I know the One who IS!!! AND, if that weren't blessing enough, I know that HE loves me and has a perfect plan for me and no matter what, as I am faithful and follow Him, He will ensure that perfect plan which brings Him glory and honor will come to be.
Thank you, ladies, for being the vessel through which God has brought me from tears to peace... oh, and just, btw - still no AF - but He is in charge! And He knows when it's coming!
Now - enough about me! Let's get on to some fantastic news!!!
Kildean!!
And Mia!! Fantastic embie report! And Sunday, day 5 transfer!! WOW!! God is great!
Indie! - I will pray that God leads you in your IF journey in knowing what is His will for you. This sounds like an excellent possibility and I pray that you will know if it is the right route for you and DH!! Please keep us updated on the meetings and how things go.
Cathann, Sonu, and everyone else... HI!!! And I pray that God is bestowing many blessings upon you and making you stronger in your walk with Him... each and every day!!
One last thing before I go... have any of you read the book
Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge? I've been reading it for many months (I'm horrible about starting a book and then staring another and another!)... anyway, I'm about 1/2 way through and it is really speaking to me again. It is written by the same folks who wrote "Wild at Heart" which speaks directly to men. If you have some time, I would highly recommend it... Induldge me in a little more thread space, as I type the message from the back cover...
"Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most percious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable rol in a great adventure, to
be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child's play. They are the secret to the feminine heart.
And yet - how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale.
But her heart is still there. Sometimes when she watches a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, her heart begins to speak again. A thirst rises within her to find the life she was meant to live - the life she dreamed of as a little girl.
The message of
Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman - they are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine heart. A woman who is truly captivating."
I pray that for each of you (and me)... that He will rescue us and release us to live fully and be the captivating women He created us to be. After all, He created us in His image and He is beautiful... and so are we...
) All he asks of us that we be vessels!!
My husband is just so wishy washy about this. He said that while he understands this is a lot less money (the trial over a regular IVF cycle) that he still wanted what he wanted done first (paying off a few bills, finishing my sons room). The he started talking about the baby furniture...etc. Why I wanted another one, what will his mother think, why start all over (our youngest is 3)...etc. So then he says if I can figure out a way to get those things done in time for the study then GREAT. SERIOUSLY!!!!!
I'm not getting any younger, neither is he. But I feel like I'm pressuring him and he doesn't feel like we need another child (although he said everytime he looked at the babies pictures he wanted another one, he just doesn't have it in his heart as a daily desire). 
