Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[Jen1d]

Hi Loops
Glad everything is going well for you. Your follies sound great and sooo many. Wonder why i cant do that.

Cant believe your going for EC so soon, its seems to have flown past.

Just spent today with dh and had a nice meal. We are home and chilling now as i'm so tired. Was up most of the night last night and just cant seem to sleep well---think its just stress and worry.

Hope everyone else is doing fine

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

Did you notice my profile updated--------yep it's moved to 38 today aaaaaaaarhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate getting old
I stopped counting when i got to 30 though
Jen x

[Jen1d]

Oh girls,i dont want to be selfish and only think of myself but i'm having such a bad day and have spent the last few hours in tears.

We have had a lovely weekend and i thought i was moving on but i'm kidding myself. I cant move on and just feel so sad and lonely with my thoughts. I dont know how i live with the pain of never having my own child.

For the first time yesterday we were planning and chatting about names and what it will be like to have our own baby but well, its NOT my own is it. I know i have to stop thinking like this and move on but its so hard. Maybe we should have waited before going down the adoption route but i didnt think it would be speeding along so fast. I really want a child and dont know if i'm doing this as its the only way to get one or to make dh happy or ??. I want to do it to but am just so confused. Then to make things worse, i still have the free cycle in my head but dh feels its to much problem finding a donor and likes the idea that an adopted baby will be ours both and the donor wont in this country as it wont be matched to me. He also feels it might be a problem if we go through with the last ivf and get a pos---thats a laugh---then have the adoption going on to---it might all be to much.

I feel like i'm in hell and its getting worse.

Sorry this is all about me but i just hate myself

Jen x

[camilla]

Hello

Just wanted to speak to Jen as you've been chatting away! Happy birthday for Saturday and 38 is not so bad. Do you know what but it's true what they say about 40! I was that ripe old age last year and I have never felt so contented and in control, plus I had an excuse to have a luxury few days in London with my DH! I can see what your DH means about focusing on the adoption. That way you know you'll have your baby and you are going to make such brilliant parents. You'll love the child like your own and more and more each day. That's what it's like because when they are babies you think you couldn't love them any more but as they grow you seem to have even more love for them. Hope you are ok at the moment but if the tears come you just have to let them out, then you'll feel a bit better.

Lola - EC tomorrow then? Good luck and will be thinking of you. Here we go again with our legs in the air! It's all in a good cause.

Lots of love to you all.

Camilla xxxxx

[Jen1d]

Hi

Loops - Hope everything goes well today and you get a bumper crop of eggs. Let us know how you are.

Camilla - Thanks for popping in and helping me with some advice, its appreciated. Hope your ok.

Littles - Thanks for your tx to try and keep me going. Hope your feeling ok?

Walshy and Steph - What you guys up to?

Am starting to stuggle coming onto this sit and might have to keep in touch via email-----dont know yet.

Love to your all

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Hey guys

Just a quickie as I'm a bit sore!
Had EC today - 19 eggs! ET will be thursday morning.
Man, it really is a bit painful - can't remember it being like this last time but so long ago can't be sure. Ah well, sure it will be better tomorrow.
Lets hope they fertilize well, will keep you updated.

Jen - I understand, I felt like that for most of last year. Do what uoi have to my sweet - we're all here for you, no matter the format!

How're my other amigas? Hope you're all bueno

OK, I'm off back to the sofa

Love, Lola
xxxxxxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

well I can see my password is working again... stupid technology.

I just have a quick second to say that I love, luv Jens and am thinking of you constantly. When you hold little babes all worries and fears will slip away and all you will see is love. unbearable, unbelievable, unbending love for your child. But that doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't grieve for that little soul that you will not have and your dreams of having babes that looks like hubby and you. It is a loss, no doubt. You have every right to be sad about it. Take the time to cry. Just remember when you do you have alot of virtual hugs there with you.

Loops- wow! cycle sounds just fab-U so far.... a bfp is definitely coming to smack you in the *ss! whaaaaapppp. such a firm tushy too. I am here with spankys and poms... glittery gold this time. Demetrio has continued the gold them right down to his body paint, thong spankys and nipple rings. He is such an attention grabber.. always has to out accessorize me. I have taken back up with yoga just for this occassion.. I need to cross all crossables and my current state of inflexibilty is unacceptable. It's all for you my lo-la-la-la-la.

as for me- just little things.. like looking at a new house tonight, hubby trying to decide if he is going to take life changing job, and what to do with a cabin that we inherited from his mom.... you know, very not stressful.. yah right. My hubs is so undecisive he is driving me bonkers! just make a decision already!!!! aaahhhhhhh.. need a drink.. a strong one.. and a hot tub.... and a pedicure... and a little girl time..... oh heaven.. and a massage... I thnk I need a spa trip. anyone wanna come?

Hi to Camilla, Walshy, Littles and littles squared.

Luvs, Hugs and hopefully no bugs
Steph

[Jen1d]

Girls

I have sent you all an email.

This is going to sound very selfish but i dont know if i cant come onto the site much longer. I am having real problems and feel so low and am just so unhappy. I just want to have some good news and unfortunately that is never going to happen now. Having my Own baby was stripped from me after cycle no 4 and i cant deal with the pain any longer.
Yes i have a chance of adoption but although i'm sure it will be great---doesnt feel like it just now----i cant help grieve for me and dh's own child.

I want to keep in tough with you all via email, thats not a problem, wouldnt leave any of you girls for a second but its just visiting the site is painful. Might feel different about this in a week, month, 3 months who knows. Hope you understand.

Loops - You will get your bundle with that amount of eggs, your a lucky girl and can have lots of tries. Hope they all fertilize well and stick for you.

Speak soon

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Hey guys

Another quick one I'm afraid.

Jemla - we all understand sweetie. You have some difficult things to come to terms with. I guarantee that you will feel better soon. Take care xx

Steph - men cannot make decisions, genetic factoid. Your life sounds busy, but in a good, proactive way. Appreciate the spankys - will there also be pom poms??

Hello Littles, Walsher !

Had transfer this morning, 12 out of the 19 fertilized and all look good. So two back on board the mothership and 10 tout suite to the frozen tundra of fridge centrale. Now just 12 days to get through until we know whats what.

Keep truckin' dudettes

Lola
xxxxxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

Loopy!!!!
HOO-RAHH on devilishly good cycle!!!!! all sounds like a rockin the utero BFP to me..... unfortunately, there is some bad news.... Demetrio attempted a double back flip over excitement of news when his gold nipple rings got caught in thong spankys (don't ask) and had to be rushed to emergency room for nipple repair surgery. I have taken him to the healing bubble as it seems you will not need it this go around. Poor thing is sitting in the bubble mumbling something about nipples and stroking his new shiny gold poms he got just for the occassion. The gold body paint caused quite the confusion with the nurses as one part in particular was not painted and tended to stand alone from the rest....

what will you be doing with your crazy self over next 12 days....

Lucks!
Steph

[lolajones]

Get Demmy and his prosthetic nipples outta the bubble - mama needs it! I've had terrible cold and cough for last few days and now am convinced I have TB. OK, maybe not TB but pneumonia? Something awful and anti-uterosticky anyway. It'll be plucky little embies that survive the petri dish that is my decrepit body at the moment. Many came, only two were chosen in Season 5 of "Homosapien: Life In the Womb".

That demmy - he's a man whore, 100%, fully paid up gigolo from way back.

My 2ww - off work until next wednesday so mucho crappola tv (Cash in the Attic anyone?) (old episodes of Alias - we love you Sydney!)and eating choc. Waiting for my assessors to get back to me with their comments about my dissertation.... feel the love my senior sisters. I also going to start house hunting soon.
So what job your dh thinking about changing to??? and PS still waiting for more photos of Faith fyi btw

Hollah to my other octos, I'm off to watch more bunkum.

Love, Lola
xxxxxxx

[lolajones]

Hey hey octos....dwindling group of ragabonds!

Well, I've got pneumonia. Bubble came too late!
So, no work for me, just resting and trying to get healthy again. My poor embies! Must be like booking a caribe cruise and then finding out its been swapped for 2 weeks in Minehead Butlins. Hang in there little dudes! I promise it will not be sickville for ever!

Anyhoo, thought I'd update you with latest news.
How're you all?? Please check in, will be needing the cheering squad pretty soon.

Big love
Lola
xxxxxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

hey loopy lady,
i am here cheering you on!! I am at a training for work for 3 weeks and in class 12 hours a day...sorry for limited chat time. but, i have hired young girl to get in a crossable parts positions in my replacement 22 hours a day. I give her one hour to sleep and Demmy insists on practicing his salsa dancing bfp celebration dance the other hour. wait until you see the poms on his dancing spankys. the bubble has been loopified and is ready to heal and rejuvinate.. hop in.

Luvs, lucks and high kicks
steph

[camilla]

Hello Lola

Trying to make sense of your mad messages (different language!). Anyway when is your test date? Are you poorly? You don't have an easy ride do you?! Sure you can do it and will be back to check on you.

Hi everyone, have a couple of hours to myself this afternoon and having my hair cut, bliss!

Could someone send me a pm with Jen's e-mail please. I understand what she is saying but couldn't bear not to be able to keep in touch.

Catch you later.
Camilla xxxxx

[lolajones]

Hol-la to ma ladies

Hey, Camilla - mmm, nice hairdo, love that, head massage, new look. Always makes me feel a bit Hollywood. I'll let Jen know you're asking after her and she'll get in touch.

Stephanie - 12 hour classroom days? I guess that includes detention because I suppose that you are always misbehaving like a madam. hmm? Thank you for loopified bubble life pod - does it come with oxygen? my chest is getting better but I'm still off work and not able to do anything vaguely energetic. Hoorah! I can give in to my lazy gene and indulge in tv marathon.

So 5 days to go, well, 4 and a half - some small amount of cramping, same as all other cycles so who knows! Time will tell. Will probably do a hpt the night before - I've done that the last twice and I've preferred it.
Man, time was going so quickly and now has slowed to funereal crawl... Speed the day!

OK homies, I'm off to ensure I have not developed bed sores on my peachy derriere.

Love like a truck, an ice truck at that!

Lola
xxxxxxxx