Scared

edna_n_lou · Post by **edna_n_lou** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 9:46 pm

I am 38 (soon to be 39) and my dh is 34. We have ttc for 18 months. Second marriage for me - I never tried to have children in the first marriage.

The day after Christmas I had surgery and the gyn found that I severe endo. I was on bbc for 16 years which must have disguised the endo symptoms. My tubes are damaged and beyond repair. Also, I had endo in places where the gyn said he had never seen before (i.e. my stomach).
The miracle is that my uterus is in good shape. Also, my ovaries had 2 cysts. According to the gyn our only hope to have a child is IVF.

I have been reading a book about IVF and infertility and am scared to death of the whole process especially since I have an adversion to needles. I hoping by reading the stories and experiences of others I will become less scared and be able to try IVF if my DH and I are considered candidates for it.

Michelle

ChristineDanielle · Post by **ChristineDanielle** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:29 pm

Hi there!

I just wanted to tell you to hang in there. I have a friend at work who has severe endo and she just found out that she is preg with twins through in vitro. I have a translocated chromosome and am looking into in vitro. I was wondering if the clinic you are going to is Shady Grove? If so do you like it there? I called there last week because the clinic in Delaware doesn't cover my insurance.

washingtonda · Post by **washingtonda** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 1:52 am

Hi ladies. I don't have any comments on your situation but I am using Shady Grove in Annapolis.

At first it seems like alot but it becomes routine very quickly. The needles aren't bad at all. This is my first cycle of IVF so I don't have any success story to post just yet but I have beeb very please with Shady Grove so far.

I actually do my trigger shot tonight at 11:45 and am scheduled for ER (egg retrieval on Monday).

Ask any questions you have and Ill try to help you out as best as I can.

Good luck.

edna_n_lou · Post by **edna_n_lou** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 1:07 pm

Thank you both for responding.

Christine - I haven't gone to Shady Grove yet but plan on using them. I have to go for my 2 week post-op this Thursday. The gyn already recommended them to my husband after I came out of surgery. I know what headaches insurance can cause. Since I work for a regelious organization, the health insurance offered will not pay for any infertility treatments. I am trying to enroll in my husband's insurance so that IVF will be covered.

Washingtonda - I wish you the best tomorrow and hope for a high number of eggs for you. I do have one question - do you think it matters which office location you visit? I am thinking about Annapolis or Columbia office.

Michelle

shantala · Post by **shantala** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:37 pm

hi michelle and welcome to the board!!!

you've definitely come to the right place for support. firstly, i would suggest joining another thread in the general forum. either the awaiting treatment thread or the month's thread in which you will be cycling in. that way you get to know lots of women (and occasionally men) that you probably end up having treatment with at the same time.

secondly, please dont worry. the whole process sounds so scary and thats exactly how i felt when i first looked into ivf. scared and overwhelmed. i definitely found the unknown worst 1st time round than i did the known 2nd time round. all the procedures sounds gruesome but if you think about it, if any doctor explained the ins and outs to you of any operation, none of us would end up having any operations or medical procedures done!! it all sounds much worse than it is!! i promise. as for the needles, they also arent as bad as they sound. i threw a rather childish tantrum before my first jab to then feel really silly afterwards as it was really nothing. so try not to worry!!! i know its easier said than done but its just the unknown.

anyway, sorry couldnt help much with your situation in particular but just wanted to try and put your mind at rest as i so remember how i felt when i first came on here.

best of luck and keep in touch!!

xxx

stephanienj · Post by **stephanienj** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:12 am

I too am terrified of needles. I have my DH prepare them and give them to me, all with my eyes shut. I cry most of the time when I get blood drawn. I can honestly tell you, it's not that bad. I'm up to 3 shots a night, and although I was terrified, and actually had trouble sleeping for a couple weeks before, it's really not that bad at all. The needles are tiny, and once you do it once, the fear of the unknown is gone. Please don't worry about it. Just think of the reward you'll get from those tiny little pricks!

Good luck to you! (hopefully I can follow my own advice and stop being terrified of the last shots with the bigger needles!)

loopie · Post by **loopie** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:56 pm

Hi Michelle- you've found a great source for support through this life changing time. I am not familiar with what you are going through with endometriosis, but there are a lot of options through IVF for a successful, healthy pregnancy and birth.
I have never had a problem with needles, but the anticipation of what it would all feel like was very scary - turns out - a lot of the needles are so thin and small -and the hormones injected do not burn or sting a bit! It seems so daunting at first, but you'll get used to to, and DH can be there to root you on, or give the injections to you -just take it a day at a time.

I've heard good things about Shady Grove- friends have healthy, happy twins after 1st IVF with ICSI from Shady Grove at GBMC - I went with University of Maryland Med Center in Baltimore as they were affiliated with my OB/GYN - and we are 5weeks-4 days BFP after 1st IVF/ICSI !! Most important thing is to feel confident that wherever you choose - they treat you with respect, and make you feel that they are doing everything possible to help you reach your goal -so if you have to give yourself a few(or a lot of) injections - I am sure you can do it!
best of luck

loopie

SDtrying · Post by **SDtrying** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:16 pm

Hi there,

Just wanted to say I'm scared too! I'm new too. Been trying only 13 months, this is our second month of clomid. I have one tube that is "blunted" or "rounded" at the end. It feels so strange not to be anatomically perfect. I can only imagine how it feels for you to have endo all these years without knowing it. Especially, in weird places. I don't think doctor's should ever tell anyone they have the "worst case" or the "most spread" etc. It's not helpful to anyone, no one wants to be that. (I can say that because I'm a doctor also, a generalist/psychiatrist though, so all this is as new to me as anyone else on the board).

Well, I just wanted to say hang in. I have my appointment on April 9th to discuss starting the processes of IVF. If you go through with it, when will you start? I just went through my work calendar to try to figure out when I have time for IVF? I joined the message board yesterday to relieve my fears as well as to figure out how women work and go through this at the same time. I think that's more scary than the needles. I don't want to be an emotional mess at work! Well, maybe we'll be going through this at the same time and can be supportive to one another.

not hopeless yet · Post by **not hopeless yet** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:15 pm

Well I'm glad you found this site Edna- It's my saving grace.

And I chuckled when I saw your posting because I, too, hate needles. Honestly during all the initial bloodwork at the beginning of our fertility road, I even passed out at the clinic! We've been ttc for over 3 years (18mths with the fertility doctors) I'll be even more frank with you, each time I go in for another procedure I have panic attacks...but I know it's for a great cause and I try to slow my breathing and think rationally. And, Edna, most of the procedures turn out to be virtually painless, really...

Well we've done 6 mths Clomid with 3 failed IUIs. Now we're required by insurance to start FSH injections with 3 more IUIs before moving on to IVF. I know it'll be a stuggle for me to even go to the clinic for the ER if it comes to that (sweating, crying, hyperventilating) but my two sis-in-laws went thru this and have beautiful families now. And I get a ton of hope by reading all the posts on this site.

So hang in there. And know that a lil needle is not going to stand between you and your child. I know I can't wait to meet my future children... and I know someday I will!!!

Anne Marie · Post by **Anne Marie** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 4:52 am

Hi There...
I'm 39 and I can tell you, the subcutaneous needles really aren't that bad. I had undergone IVF twice in the past 3 months. The only needle that may be difficult are the IM (intramuscular) shots with PIO.
My DH and I decided to bypass IUI because of our age. Our best chance at conceiving was with IVF. I used to work at a fertility clinic, so I had some background with the IUI and Endocrine bloodwork. If I were you, bypass your fears, cuz in the end, it will all be worth it!
good Luck!

AmandaM · Post by **AmandaM** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:45 pm

I was scared too went I went through IVF the first time. I promise though the shots really aren't that bad. You get use to them really quickly. I just went through my second IVF cycle and I am getting my third blood test on 3/6. My numbers are really low so I will probably have to go through it a third time. I hope everything goes well for you.

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