Heart’s Desire – Finding Strength and Direction from God

[Hope644]

Hi Ladies - Sorry I have been away for a while. I haven't had time to read the posts, but I promise I will catch up this weekend if not before... and I'm going to get the book this weekend for bible study too...

Real quick update for me. I had my 3rd US/BW yesterday. Follies are still growing, but not as fast as RE would like. BW showed my E2 level at 90.8 (in my last two cycles at this point it was between 300-500). So they are boosting my meds AGAIN. Gonal-F and Menopur both up 75 more units (300 & 150 respectively). I just took my first dose of those and will take them again tomorrow before I go in for another US/BW. Hopefully it will give 'em the boost they need. I just can't help but think it's because I turned 35!! I know it's not, but that's the age when you're officially AMA and well, who knows. I just feel rotten since I have responded so well in the past. I'm also going to acupuncture tomorrow, which I hope will help - and then again on Friday. I was thinking the ER would probably be on Sunday, but maybe not til Monday or even Tuesday- it's a wait & see game at this point.

My real fear is that I will become over stimulated, like the drugs will all kick in and go into overdrive. When I took 225 gonal-f the first cycle, I was borderline overstim...not only does it feel bad and is dangerous, I think it negatively affected my cycle. BUT, i keep reminding myself that God is in charge. Maybe he is showing me just how much in charge he really is... There is not task too large for him. I keep thinking of that song that I hear all the time on the radio - Big Enough... He is big enough for any of our challenges or problems. He can do this with any situation. He is the Maker of the rain and the Creator of everything. He can make this cycle work - no matter what challenges are placed in His path. Please pray that I will keep my focus on Him during this time and not get bogged down in the details of the treatment.

Proverbs 3:6 "in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Psalm 115:15 "May you be blessed by the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

May God bless you all this day and always, dear sisters... thank you for your dedication and prayers.

[IndieBlue]

Good morning ladies Fixing to head to drum lessons for the oldest but wanted to check in with you all. ON the note of bible study, the online way is soooo nice. It was around 25.00 I think and that includes the study book, the audio and the video. When I've done them before and just bought the book and the CDs it's been around 50-60.00. The CDs are usually 40.00, and then the book is usually 15.00. I'm loving the online study....but as I said I can slow up and we can all study together if more want to join in

I wanted to also thank you all for the positive post about my lifestyle. Many public school teachers dislike homeschoolers so I'm glad I haven't upset the balance of our wonderful supportive group. As far as how many children I have, .....bla bla bla, yadda yadda yadda, nothing to see here folks..move along! LOL

I'm so excited about Thursday.....I have to be there at 8:15 for paperwork...etc and then I have an appointment at 9. I really really pray that they don't have to wait on my next cycle and we can move forward , but timing is up to God!

Hope, praying that you don't overstim....I've heard that is painful. And while I understand the thoughts on AMA, as I'm 33, I really think that it's not as cut and dry as the studies show. Anyone in your family have children after 35? I know that my sister had her last baby at 34, and my mother had one later in life too.....so praying that my reserve is the same. Just keep up that PMA!!! Do you like the Accupuncture? I thought about doing it since the office for it is so close to the RE's office, but don't know. I think I'll see how the fresh cycle goes and then if it doesn't create a BFP then I'll seek out some additional treatments. I do however think that I'll be taking some more time for myself while I'm going through the cycle though....I need to think "less stress"

Awww, ApDean....you guys are twins! Where did I miss that. So twins run in the family? I was just thinking of that subject this morning....in 20 years with the introduction of ART....won't there be a lot more twins/triplets and the like? I mean...it used to be such a unique thing to have twins and it ran in families...etc, but with IVF I'm sure it's seen more often. The reason I was thinking of it, is if I have twins, it does not run in my family....so my MIL will probably know we 'did something' to get pregnant LOL Oh well...again, worrying about what others will think gets me nowhere. Praying for you and your ER ApDean....what a great thing to be going through pregnancy with your sister! I'll pray hard for a BFP!!!

Hello to everyone else Praying for your journey and your busy lives! While I'm here...have any of you counted calories/had a food journal prior to starting IVF? I'm not talking about losing weight...but getting a handle on what goes in to be more mindful of health, weight and overall well being before shots and even after ET? I really need to concentrate more on what I eat....but don't want to make it about weight, sad though, I weighed 155 when I gave birth to my son.....and I weigh that now LOL But still, while I don't drink soda's and we don't eat a lot of candy and sweets....we do eat a lot of fattening foods around here. Oh well, just something on my mind

Blessings to you all

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

[waitingforMia]

Good morning sisters!

A sister-in-Christ of mine who has been ttc for 6 years just got matched with a baby for adoption! SO happy for her. She has been through treatments and then took some time off, felt God was calling them to adopt. The baby will be born in June!

Indie: I personally think homeschooling is a great idea for dedicated individuals. When the kids get into highschool I think it is time for them to spread their wings in a public or private school so that they can have teachers who have a degree in the subjects, but I still know ppl who homeschool through 12th grade, and like I said that is just my personal opinion. Again you are worrying about what ppl think huh - with the twins issue... I have to admit I have been around a lot of ppl who think negatively about IVF, but I will still tell ppl that that is the route we took. There is a taboo about it b/c ppl are afraid to talk about it. And while I didnt want ppl knowing we were going through IVF while I was going through it - I have no prob with knowing after the fact - I just didnt want ppl asking me of i am pg until I was ready to tell them. BTW I have 7 bros and 1 sister.

Sister Hope Sorry you are worried about this cycle. I am praying that you will not be overstimulated and that GOd will provide you with a peace. I am glad you are in the Word and seeking His plan. It is still hard to want something so bad, no matter how in control we know He is. With each new cycle come a new set of trials: "Not only so, but we[a] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Rom 5:3-5.

Alisha: Praying for you and your ER! How exciting that would be to share this with your twin!!

hrobinson: The prob with middle school i sthe behavior problems. We need disciplined caring ppl in MS, b/c boy THAT is tough! Wow I cant imagine what a shock that is for a 4 yr old to go from an orphanage to an American home! I work in orphanages in Moldova (where dh is from) and it is just heart breaking. I would love not to work right now, but dh just got moved to a new schedule and he is working 2 days less! that would be ok b/c we have always made ourselves life off his salary, but he is trying to take time off to finish a degree in his home country, plus he is trying to start a business with my dad and all of that will be a strain on our finances.

Nic: Where did you find the online one??? Let me know how the PMA goes I will be praying for you. Keeping a PMA for me is even easier with my dh b/c he has always had the mindset of ok maybe God just doesnt want us to have kids and I had to get used to that idea early on. He is so care-free alwasys reminding me to not over-stress this area of life b/c there are so many other things worth my attention. Of course it is still a struggle.

Hello to those I missed.

It is 10:30 and time for me to get out of bed I have a phone interview today with a college to teach online. SOmething I think that would be beneficial for me to start. Other than that nothing is planned! I had a dream I went to BabiesR US and was picking out baby items! lol.

Take Care!
MP

[waitingforMia]

HOPE - DID I MISS YOUR BDAY????

[IndieBlue]

Thanks for your honest opinion Mia Isn't it funny how I'm the opposite of that LOL And while I'll agree that it would be GREAT to have a teacher that had a degree in every subject they taught, I'm happy in that I have a degree and I have no doubt I can teach the kids through Highschool (I have actually taken quite a few extra classes on doing just that).

I'm glad that God has given me the drive to do it....as a public school graduate myself, I always thought homeschoolers were strange and isolated from 'real' people. It took me quite a few years to even accept what God was calling me to do because it goes against everything that I ever thought I'd be doing.

I really really didn't want to mention how many children I had here. It doesn't really seem appropriate on a board about IF. I'll change it LOL...there changed

Again, I'm just not one for confrontation or debates so I try not to disclose that we homeschool or how many children I have to many people because it just opens me up to hearing what they 'think' about my choices. And while I understand everyone is free to have differing opinions, I try not to stir the pot LOL. I'm pretty much that way about everything....again, trying to avoid what other people think I'm a pleaser...what can I say LOL

So you're thinking it's just 1 little bean now? Have you been picking out names yet? Any 'dream' purchases you're going to be making for the baby? How about you Kildean? I've got my eye on a Baby Jogger City Series Mini.....sooooo nice and the larger ones were so easy to push when we had one of those, so I think I'll love the lighter weight/smaller version. There is so much out there these days....neat little inventions and awesome carseats. We love the Britax carseats, but not really the infant carrier carseats they make.

Well, I may not be back on till Thursday after my appointment....but I'll try to post an update then Hope everyone else post an update soon.

[IndieBlue]

http://www.lifeway.com/believinggod/

Here is the online bible study for those of you interested!

[hrobinson]

Indie- I am so sorry that I asked how many children you have. I never meant to make you vulnerable (if that's the right word). I think it is so awesome that you have five children and want more. My parents had 4 kids when they moved into their current home (32 years ago). They built it with an oops room. Granted my mother was one of those who thought of sex and she was pregnant. Anyhow, it wasn't long after we lived in the house that they both felt the calling to adopt a child...or children. I will never forget mom telling me that at one point an agency called and asked my parents to adopt a family of 7 children. they said they prayed about it, but decided it wouldn't be best for the family. We were then blessed with my little sister.
I had always wanted a "litter" of chilren. I guess God led me in the direction of teaching because he knew I would never "easily" have that litter.
It is so hard for us not to get "personal" with the women with whom we have grown so close to and pray for day in and day out.
Please forgive me.
As for your homeschooling...I can't say it enough...you are one AWESOME lady. I would never look down on someone who home schools. We must all do what is best for our children.
Never question anything that you do. I think you should brag about all you do for everyone you do it for.

Hope- Did we miss your birthday? Was that posted somehwere. I don't know how to do all the fun glittery stuff that everyone else does, so I will have to do it the boring way. happy belated birthday.
We will be praying for you with this cycle. We hope that the dr. do not overstim you. However, we want the meds to be at a high enough dosage that you will produce enough.

Mia- So anxious to hear how your phone interview went. I do hope that it all works out for you.
I think you should follow your dreams advice and go shopping at BabiesR Us. It is always fun to go pick out the fun things.

alright, big day tomorrow with THE BIG TEST. I best go rest up for it.

[Iccin]

Hallo Everyone!

I am sorry to 'intrude' on your thread, I just wanted to introduce myself.

Firstly, I am a born-again child of God and I firmly believe that Jesus Christ is Way, the Truth and the Life.

Secondly, my DH and I have been TTC for 5 years - we are from Johannesburg, South Africa. We are currently in the 2WW after IVF/ICSI with a 3day transfer of 2 8-cell embies on 25 Feb. My beta test is on 8 March (Saturday).

I have POASed on 7dpt, 8dpt and 9dt and got a BFN on all 3 tests. I am hoping and praying that I am testing too soon and that we will be blessed with a BFP on Saturday. The Lord has given as a promise almost 5 years ago that we WILL have a child and we are trusting Him completely for this, in His timing.

I guess I just wanted to connect with like-minded people who completely understand that life is not in our hands and that nothing we can do or say can 'make' us pregnant. Only God is the giver of life.

Please pray with me for peace that transcends all human understanding? I REALLY need it?

Thank you and God bless!!!

[kildean23]

Iccin:
Welcome to the Group! We are so grateful to have you. I have said a prayer for your peace and that God will bless you with a BFP this cycle. For we know that God is in control and he has the final say. We also know that if we ask and believe that He will do it; we will receive His blessings.

as for the HPT, I do think it is a little too early, because I tested 7days post a 5 day transfer. Please keep us posted!

[Iccin]

Thank you so much Kildean, that's very kind of you!!!

I POASed again this morning. Yep, another BFN. I'm 10dp3dt today......

I am just hoping and praying that there's still hope. I have read about quite a few gals who had BFN's up until their beta test day who carried on to have a BFP beta.

So, I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive, PMA is SO important!!!

Please Lord, let this be IT??!!!

[hrobinson]

Iccin- I am really praying for you. I know how hard it is to look at those negative POAS's. With my first one I didn't do a POAS, which was probably good because I am not sure it would have registered on there as my Beta was only a 17. However, with the second one I did, and it was devistating. I would go back hours later just to make sure it hadn't changed to a +ive.

Put it in God's hands and know that in his time he will provide for us.

Alright, my kids finished up their test yesterday. Just to let you guys know how stressful this is...we started the test at 8:45am. The kids got a 30 minute lunch break and that was it. I was here at school until 6:00 because we still had one girl testing. WOW!!! Makes for a long day. I didn't have any kids finish until after 2:00. I feel for these babies.
I will know the first week of April how they did.
I just want to thank everyone who prayed for them.

gotta run, kids are entering the room.

[waitingforMia]

HI girls. I am babysitting my god daughters this week (9 and 3) and have been staying at their house, so I have not been able to get online.

hrobinson: I was praying for your kids on Wednesday. That is a lot of stress to be under at such a young age! Wow till 6 pm! Poor thing. My ohone interview went well, I guess I just need to wait and see how well it went...

Iccin: WELCOME!!! Stay away from the pee sticks! Really, they can drive you bonkers!! I think I got my bfp at 11dp5dt. I POAS the day before my beta - I was too worried to do it sooner, afraid of a false neg. Any how - you have come to the right place for prayer for peace! The IF journey can either bring you closer to God or farther from Him - I pray it brings you closer to Him.

Kildean: Hey girl, how are you feeling?? Any m/s?

Indie: I dont think you should worry about stating how many kids you have. One thing I like about this board is that there are so many ppl from so many walks of life. Another board I used to post on was way too sensitive fr me. You had to post in the topic (like a warning) if you mentioned pregnancy, children, or God so that you wouldnt offend any one. I like this board better where we can all just share the world we live in! And i would advise you not to hide that info (homeschooling) - I mean if you just allowed everyone to go on thinking the way they did w/o showing them an alternative, the world be even more of a close-minded place then it is! So the short of it is- at least on this thread - dont be afraid to share.

Well yesterday and the day before were awful m/s days for me! It was so hard to eat anthing. bleh - plus dh has man flu and I need to take care of him! Dh thinks it is just in my head b/c I read too much online ! Owell, just wait until the baby is born and crying and dh tries to wake me up and I tell him, are you sure it isnt just in your head! lol!

Like I mentioned dh and I are watching our god daughters for the week. Their mom does not follow through well with discipline and rules, so it is a bit of a tough transition, esp. for the 3 yr old. My friend gives in way too easily. But the 3 yr old is learning, what nana says - she means! It is fun to get a little practicing in! The 9 yr old is the girl I got to witness to the other day. I am gonna go with her to buy a Bible on Friday. dh and I were thinking about renting 10 Commandments also to spark some conversation.

alrighty - I stopped by my house to pick up a few things and get some cleanign done - and here I am on the puter! I am not sure when I will check back in. But I will eventually!

MP

[Iccin]

Yes, I POASed again. BFN. Again. 11dp3dt today. My beta is tomorrow.

It's starting to look really bad for us...... One has to be realistic about these things hey?

Anyways, at least we have a back-up plan B and C and D.......

Just want to get tomorrow's beta over and done with, I really can't do this waiting-thing anymore!

Hope you have a great weekend!!

[waitingforMia]

Quick update: Had u/s today heard the hb 150! Re said there looks like there were two - but one didnt make - so a singleton it is! I am still watching my god daughters have little access to internet .

MP

[nicaliw]

Hey Mia! I'm so happy that you have your little bean. Sorry about there not being 2 like you'd hoped. I hope your M/S is better.