LIMBO- Come join us!

[not hopeless yet]

Hi Ladies-

Mind if I join you? My cycle seems to be about 1 week behind you, but I'm in the same boat... We've completed 5 mths clomid with 3 failed IUIs (luckily the only side effects from clomid for me was hot flashes...) Each cycle we did blood and u/s and I was producing 2 eggs which is good. Anyhow, we were pumped to meet with the IF doc and discuss IVF, however we found out our insurance requires another 3 cycles of FSH shots/IUI. To make a long story short, I don't do well with procedures of any sort- I've even passed out multiple times at the doctor's office! So I'm annoyed that I'll have to endure 3 mths of shots before moving onto IVF (which is going to be bad enough). I guess the positive side of FSH treatment for some people is it helps you create even more eggs... but we already have a set of twins and a set of triplets in the family and we DO NOT want triplets. So we decided with the IF doc that we'll closely monitor with FSH to ensure I don't over produce eggs (although the upside is, if I do produce a lot of eggs maybe the cycle can be converted to an IVF cycle). Anyway, I just wanted to share my story and want you to keep me posted on your IVF journey as well.

[SDtrying]

Welcome- not hopeless! We'd love to have you, the more the merrier! I'm sorry that you have bad anxiety with the procedure, that's terrible. I've talk to a lot of other women who get anxiety too about this stuff, so you are definitely NOT alone.

Let me make sure I understand your situation correctly, are you in your 2ww? Did you do IUI this month? I understand that you have 3 more cycle of IUI with FSH correct. Sounds like you've been trying for some time, do you have any kids? (i got confused when you said you have twins and triplets, I'm assuming you did mean your family?)

MK, thanks for your support through the 2ww. Even though I knew AF was coming the 2ww is always the worst to go through alone. I do much better the during the 1st 2 weeks, the trying period is much better than the waiting.

I'm totally optimistic about IVF (the financial situation is going to be overwhelming), but i just have a feeling that we'll get pregnant this year if we push ahead with the process. Even if we don't succeed during our 1st cycle, I'm really hopefully that at least we'll have some frozen embryos.

Having some frosties would give me hope!! Having some frosties would mean the world to me right now, i feel like my egg has never met his sperm- even once!! just knowing that they might meet in a little dish makes me extremely hopeful! (is that ridiculous?)

Only 9 more days to may RE appt!! yeah!!! Starting clomid tomorrow, BOOOOOOO!!!!

[not hopeless yet]

Good luck on the next cycle of Clomid...

Yes, you're right I meant the twins and trips are on dh's side of the family... all results of fertility treatment. The trips were a fluke because 2 blasts implanted and one became an identical twin!!

Anyhow- no kids for us, just two furry, four legged kids! Purr!!! We've been together for 10.5 years, married for 5.5, ttc for 3.5 But I know we'll get there someday (hopefully soon)

Talk to you later!

[SDtrying]

Well, that's really encouraging that you have family members who have been successful. I love hearing the success stories. A few months back a friend of mine just delivered her 1st baby after several years of trying.

They went through many cycles of IVF and then the LAST frozen embryo they tried stuck!! Yeah, it was a boy and they are a very wonderful family. I think she tried IUI about 6 times too before trying IVF. They had unexplained infertility.

Well, your persistence and username give me hope too! Thanks for the encouragement on clomid. Do you have side effects with FSH? Have a good day!

[mkdig]

Hi guys! Welcome not hopeless! Try not to be frutrated about a few more iuis. Maybe you'll get your bfp and save all the $$ you would spend on ivf.
Well I have an apt. on the 24th for screening for the research study (and to do another hydro sonogram). Then hopefully I will start bcps and lupron that same week. (if the urologist can get my husband in with time for the ivf, if not we will have to wait until next month.....agh!!)
So a little off topic but I have been feeling a little down the last few days. When we started this process I SWORE I would not let if run my life. I did not want to be one of those couples who only talked about having a baby and I did ok for a few months, but now Im feeling like this is ALL I think about and therefore all we talk about. Sometimes I think that Im worrying away our whole relationship instead of enjoying it. Do you guys ever feel that way? I know it is normal to be consumed by if at times but I want to "stop and smell the roses" but dont know how. Any advice?

[SDtrying]

no advice, only true empathy! I'm having the same problem. Even the BD is losing its spark, we have a fight last month about it, it wasn't pretty. we don't fight much- but this one ended up in tears (not my usual state).

Hmmmmm....how can we help ourselves with this problem. I'll need to think on it to see if we can come up with a cure for our baby quest obsession. I'm leaving to go to Spanish class now, so i'll check in tomorrow. Maybe we come up with a list of things couples should talk about other than infertility (that could be fun!) But in all seriousness, its a major problem for me too.

how 'bout you Nothopeless, any advice?

Hasta Manana!

[mkdig]

So Im kinda bummed! My dh talked to our re today and she wants us to wait to put me on the bcps until the urologist gets a biopsy from him and he is way booked up. Soooo I have to wait untilnext cycle to even go on bcp's!!! Stupid sperm doctor. Welll Im just going to try and hang in there and find something else to focus on for a month or so!! (ha).
How are you guys doing? I will be anxious to hear how your consult goes SD (I think its like the 21st, right?) I hope you get the news you want.
Well I liked your idea of trying to think of other things to talk to dh about........only problem is....I got nothing! Tonight I broke down and cried and told him I feel like Im neglecting him and Im afraid Im driving him away. He made me feel better of course. He just said its such a major life changing thing of course we talk about it all the time. I guess he is right. I guess these things are hard for all couples. Im glad I have you guys to talk to.

[SDtrying]

I'm so sorry that you have to wait for the BCP! Stupid Sperm Doctor just doesn't understand that we're on a schedule here!!!!

I'm glad your DH is so supportive, sounds like a very sweet man. Here's a list of things we can talk about instead of making babies:

Perhaps we should think about all the things we want to do before starting a family!!! I mean everyone says that you have no life once you have kids, so we should be livin' it up.

Here's my list-
1) go hiking in the desert
2) go to Spanish class for a week in Mexico
3) get a massage at my favorite spa (at least twice before I get preggo)
4) take a weekend get away with my hubby to Yosemite to hike Half Dome
5) Go to Santa Barbara for a weekend
6) Eat tons of sushi
7) Drink lots of wine

Regarding things to talk about with hubbies, here's some topic ideas we can use: (this was a lot more difficult)

1) Politics?- I need to start keeping up more, my DH is super into politics and would love it if we discussed it more
2) Read a book together and discuss it?
3) Discuss having some social gathers to pass the time, perhaps we could plan a small dinner party or something like that. Being social always helps
4) Discuss plans for your next dream vacation.
5) Talk about work and future career stuff
6) Talk about fixing up our place (we like to shop online to look for new furniture we want)

Ok, Ok, so my list isn't very exciting but at least i tried.

My appt is the 21st (exactly 1 week away, yeah!) I have my hopes up so high, i hope it goes ok.

[Babysoft]

I hope it's okay if I join!! I'm on the dreaded 2ww....I had my iui done on Wednesday. I didn't do clomid..I did the injections..which actually either aren't really that bad or I want this so bad I can't feel pain..probably the latter. Anyway I go have a u/s & bloodwork on Wednesday. My doctor told me to take a hpt in two weeks and if that comes up positive...I'll come for bloodwork. I must admit although the actually needles weren't that bad, the bloating is driving me crazy. I'm just wondering how many follies most are producing. I only produce one mature follie...which is very dissappointing, because my if this doesn't work, my clinic wont do ivf unless I get three mature follies. Anywhooo I'll read through the thread and post more after that


Good Luck all tons of PMA

[not hopeless yet]

Nice to see you on this thread too Babysoft! Mkdig, good luck with the Study... keep us posted every step of the way! SDtrying - I hear ya! I feel like I think about IF and babies 24/7, of course it doesn't help that 4 of my friends are preggers including a gal I share a cubicle with. It's tough and I almost couldn't attend a baby shower last month. I made myself go and be a good friend, but it was a tough day.

I think sometimes since my dh is not vocal or sharing his emotions about the IF journey, I sometimes feel like I'm doing it alone. That I have emotional highs and lows, anxiety, frustration, and dreams of what our family will look like 10 years from now... sometimes we argue about decisions that will need to be made on this journey and that tears us apart. Yet with each procedure or prayer, it brings us closer together.

Of course I think it sucks and its not fair that we have to go thru this to feel stronger as a couple, than our married couple friends. But I guess this was the hand that we've been dealt.

Anyhow SDtrying, you vented about how hard the BD can be sometimes and asked for suggestions to take your mind off IF journey. Try to keep the BD romantic and really enjoy it not just because it's the right "time". As far as other things to keep your mind off IF I think you already listed a ton of great ideas. I, too, was going to suggest hiking or massage (maybe your dh would like one too!) Plus I love watching movies, at home or in the theatre, and my latest feat will be organizing a game night for atleast a dozen friends... ever heard of Bunco? And personally I can't wait for the nice weather so I can focus on gardening!

Talk to you ladies again soon.

[SDtrying]

Welcome Babysoft!!! (i love the name) So you're on the 2ww, how many days post-IUI are you? We'll definitely keep you busy while you wait for that BFP!! By the way, I'm glad to hear that the injectibles aren't bad, it eases some of my anxiety

NotHopeless- Thanks for the thoughts. I recently had 2 close friends pregnant (they both delivered) and it was a tough time- just seeing all those cute babies, one had twins. The pictures with dad and baby always get me the worst. Baby showers are tough too. But soon we'll all be having them for ourselves soon. And until then we can just continue to support each through it all.

I will definitely try to keep the BD romantic this month.

BTW, our DH's sound similar. Mine is a very sweet but also a very quite man. Sometimes, i feel alone in it too. That's what the tears were about last month. My DH apologized for his being less involved- said its hard to keep track of my cycle and that he just relies on me to tell him. He said he'd try. But really nothing has changed this month. I love him anyway, he's really my best friend, but this really isn't his strong suit. I can't wait til its over, I really want to see him be a daddy.

MK- So have you started stalking the stupid sterm doc, yet? Ha-ha. I got a real kick out of your calling him that! Perhaps there will be a cancellation and you can get started early! (fingerscrossed) Well, you can still try el natural this month, right? It only takes just one of those little swimmers to do the job. You do O on your own, correct? And your tubes are ok, right?

As for me I'm CD-4 waiting to O on clomid and to go to the RE on the 21st. This is a big deal appt for two reasons 1) I'll find out if i'm O'ing on the good side (left) and 2) We'll hopefully talk about doing IVF in May!

[michael55]

my wife had two iui's. The first on on thursday morning and the 2nd on friday morning. She had 4 follicles >20. Day one my count was 90 mill day2 60 mill. This is our first iui any advice. Good luck to all

[SDtrying]

Hi Michael! Welcome. The other ladies might be able to give you better advice about IUI. I haven't done it yet. I have an appt on March 21st to find out if we will be trying IUI or going to IVF.

I don't know much about the sperm count, but the follicle sizes you mentioned sound great. Welcome to the 2ww!!!! That's the one thing we all have in common regardless of our fertility treatments, the wait is killer!

I'm so excited to find out if you and your wife get pregnant this month!!! Hmmmm, maybe even twins! Keep us posted. How are you doing through this process?

[mkdig]

Hi everyone!
Sd- No Im not following around stupid sperm guy.......yet......I mean how hard can they be to get?? Just give us a freakin appointment already. I have been trying to stay busy and wait patiently..Dh and I have been working out a lot and trying to focus on other things for now. Unfortunately the idea of trying naturally for a month or two wont work for us. You see we need the sperm doc. (Dh has no sperm in ejaculate so they have to get it straight from "the boys"). He has a congentially missing vas (thats the little tube that carries sperm from the boys to the....you get the picture). So we wont try (but that doesnt mean we cant practice right??? )
I really hope this is it for you. Lots of people do get pregnant on clomid so maybe you wont need to move on. Are you guys thinking of iui's at all or just want to do ivf? I can see the reasoning for both.
Babysoft-Dont be down about your follicle production!! You only need one. My re said more than follicle per iui didnt always mean better chances. Was this your 1st iui?
Michael-Welcome! Your numbers sound fantastic. I hope this is it for you guys. Did your wife do injectables or clomid? As for advice............try and not go crazy for fourteen of the longest days ever!!

[SDtrying]

Hi MK!

Great to hear from you. I thought your DH had low sperm count, so now I understand the situation better. I bet there are tons of good swimmers just ripe for the pickin' That's kind of good news in some way, I guess, if you can just get 'em I bet you'll be preggers in no time!!!

I'm really thinkin' of going straight to IVF, she offered IUI last visit and we opted not to based on the stats she gave me for people in our situation (me- only one functioning tube, DH- poor morphology). So I told her we'd try clomid x 3 months then try the next step. She seemed open to going to IVF, so i have me figures crossed!

I'll keep you posted, perhaps will end up on the same cycle. For your sake, I hope you get to go sooner. baby dust to you!