1st u/s, no heartbeat. Anyone else?

Hoekey · Post by **Hoekey** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 10:46 pm

Ohh Kerpupples

, I was really pulling for you. I am so sorry. Let us know what happens on Friday. I would take the day off work too. Maybe tomorrow as well if you can manage it. Take time for yourself.

Hoekey...

kerpupples · Post by **kerpupples** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 3:04 am

Thanks Hoekey. I did take the afternoon off but I'm on a tight deadline so that's all I'll be able to manage now. Luckily I work from home so I can take a moment for myself here and there.

I'll keep you all posted about Friday. I'm keeping an acupuncture appointment I have for tomorrow - here's to hoping it works some wonderful Chinese magic on me and the baby!

riogirl71 · Post by **riogirl71** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:50 pm

Good luck today! Got my fingers crossed for you!

Hoekey · Post by **Hoekey** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:53 pm

Good luck today. I said a prayer for you. Hope you are well.

...Hoekey

TammyS · Post by **TammyS** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:57 pm

Good Luck, today! I am praying for you.

kerpupples · Post by **kerpupples** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:57 pm

Rio, you're so considerate!

Went back today, nothing has changed. The baby hasn't developed at all since Monday, and is possibly even a little smaller. Still no heartbeat.

I'm ceasing the progesterone shots. DH is having a hard time giving up hope so I think we'll wait a few days to see if I miscarry naturally. If that doesn't happen I'll use misoprostol to induce. We're going to try to have the tissue tested to figure out what the problem was.

I'm honestly relieved to know for sure. The waiting and wondering was so stressful. Thanks to you here for all your support, you've been wonderful.

TammyS · Post by **TammyS** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:02 pm

I'm so sorry. (((HUGS)))

Hoekey · Post by **Hoekey** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:10 pm

I am so sorry

!!!I know that you were expecting it but it's still a horrible blow none-the-less. Hang in there. I know that it's hard for your DH to let go. Until you have to experience the actual loss of the baby it's just not real to them I think. It took me seven days to miscarry naturally. How long do you think you will wait? It takes a couple days for the progesterone to wear off and then I think the body just does what is supposed to come naturally. I have read a great deal about it since mine. I have found out that missed miscarraiges are on average more rare than other types, but are much more common in women undergoing IVF due to the hormones. Our bodies are tricked into continuing to carry a nonviable pregnancy, where most women would miscarry when conceiving naturally because they don't have that boost from the PIOs. It really is cruel, you get your hopes up and then BOOM they're crushed, just like that.

I hope that you are doing okay. Please do not be afraid to tell me I am too graphic or you're just not ready for my information about the M/C. I just know that when I went through it, I wished I had known more. If you have any questions feel free to ask too.

May God bless you and keep you and may you know peace...Hoekey

kerpupples · Post by **kerpupples** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:54 pm

Tammy, thanks for the hugs hon. And congratulations on your healthy baby!

Hoekey - wow, 7 days. I'm not sure we want to wait that long. I'm thinking we'll induce on Wednesday if it hasn't started by then. The nice thing about the misoprostol is that the doc said it gets everything out within about 12 hours, and I can be prepared to medicate myself for the pain. They're testing my HCG again today and if it's still going up my doctor said it's not likely that I will MC naturally.

Interesting info about the missed m/c. It makes sense. I've wondered when I would have miscarried had it not been for the progesterone. In any case I hope this doesn't happen again. You're right, it IS cruel to have such happy news followed up with such a crushing disappointment.

When are you planning another IVF cycle? I forgot to ask my doctor how long we need to wait. We're thinking it would be nice to take at least a month off anyway. And luckily we've got 9 frosties so I won't have to stim again any time soon.

riogirl71 · Post by **riogirl71** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:12 pm

Kerpupples -

I am so sorry hun, but in the bright side, your uterus has learned what to do and you did get pregnant. So I am hoping that your frosties will bring you a healthy and wonderful baby. 9 frosties is amazing! Please keep us posted with how you are doing and also about your upcoming FET.

Sending you much:

Hoekey · Post by **Hoekey** » Sat Mar 22, 2008 3:22 pm

Kerpupples The Dr. told me I should wait three cycles, meaning I get my AF three times before doing it again. Since I have not stopped bleeding yet, it's very light, panty liners throughout the day almost always do the job sometimes I get a bigger amount followed by almost nothing for the rest of the day, I have no idea when my actual first AF will start! But I have gained nearly 40 lbs going through all these cycles back to back. So DH and I have decided to wait six months. That gives me ample time to loose the 40 lbs I have gained and get my mind prepared for another rollercoaster ride. I still have 4 frosties so our next attempt will be another FET. I think the good thing is that DH had been telling me once we were out of the frosties that was it. He didn't want me to go through another fresh cycle, they are so hard!! But, I think that now he knows that I can still get pregnant he has changed his mind. So if this next frozen cycle does not work, WHICH IT WILL!!!!!!, I may still be able to try again. Our problem is that our insurance does not cover IVF, so EVERYTHING has been out-of-pocket for us. So we just have to take a close look at it finacially too. The FET is relatively affordable, but those fresh cycles are whoppers. I take the maximum amount allowed of the GonalF, 450 units, so I go through one pen every other day, I end up having to buy like 4-5 of them at $900.00 a pop. I am a poor responder

. My first fresh cycle yielded only 6 eggs, of that only 4 were mature, and of those only 2 made it to transfer, though they were top quality. The second cycle went a lot better with no change in protocol, go figure. I had 19 eggs, 12 mature, 10 fertilzed, all top to medium high quality. So I am hoping that if I have to go through another fresh cycle I get the same or better results as the second and not the poor results of the first. Who knows, it's all a big crap shoot I guess. I don't do well with the fresh cycles, I don't know why. I think that maybe I am just too sensitive to all the meds and my uterus just isn't ready right away after retrieval. I don't know, if this FET doesn't work I will talk with my Dr. about it and see what he thinks.

Okay, I have rambled on enough for today

. I hope that you are doing well!!

Hoekey...

kerpupples · Post by **kerpupples** » Sat Mar 22, 2008 11:14 pm

Wow, 3 cycles is some time. But I guess we might need that amount of time to work up the courage to try again anyway, eh? I've been having a pretty hard time emotionally with this over the past 2 days. No spotting yet.

450 units of Gonal-F per day sounds brutal. I was on 150 per day and I still nearly went into OHSS during my second cycle. Like you though, my second cycle was much more successful than the first. First time there were 20 eggs, 12 mature, 6 fertilized and only 2 weak 6-cell embryos made it to transfer. The second time we had 18 mature eggs, 12 fertilized, 3 transferred (10, 8, and 6 cells) and 9 happy frosties!

I do believe your next FET will work for you. You've got karma on your side for helping me, so that should do some good!

I'll be watching for you when the time comes.

Hoekey · Post by **Hoekey** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 3:54 pm

I know exactlly what you mean about the emotions. It is so hard! You want to go back and change whatever it was that went bad and start over. Or, you hope to wake up and it's all a bad dream. Unfortunately it's just not. It does get easier, not quickly though. You'll be suprised what upsets you and also suprised by some of the things that don't. It is much easier to start to move on once you have had the MC. I know that you are dreading it, I did, but it really is a relief once it's here and gone. I will be thinking of you, please keep in touch.

DH and I went up to the alter today at church and gave our problems to God. He knows our hearts. We had a lot of support and prayer with us today, so I think that we are going to be okay.

Hope you are well, and hang in there hun!!! Have a happy Easter!

Cathy...

riogirl71 · Post by **riogirl71** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:34 pm

Hi Kerpupples - just checking in on you to see how you are doing. I am hoping time will heal your heart and get you ready for your healthy baby!

Hoekey · Post by **Hoekey** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:42 pm

Just checking in on you Kerpupples. I know that you said that if you had not miscarried by Wednesday that you would induce. I just wanted to check in on you and make sure that you and you're DH are doing okay. I hope that the pain was tolerable and you are doing as well as can be expected emotionally. Just give us an update when you are feeling up to it.

Thinking of you...Hoekey

1st u/s, no heartbeat. Anyone else?

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