Heart’s Desire – Finding Strength and Direction from God

apdean23 · Post by **apdean23** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:48 am

CONGRATULATIONS HOPE!!! God is good all the time!!! I'm trying to hold out for my HPT, it is so hard to wait!!!

Hope644 · Post by **Hope644** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:04 pm

Hi Everyone -

Thank you all for the congrats & continued prayers. This one is going full term!!!!!

(PMA!!!)

I will do more personals later - I am running later than I'd planned. I was so sleepy this morning, had to drag myself outta bed - the fatigue is definitely already setting in. (this, after I took an hour & 1/2 nap yesterday too!!) ugh.

BUT - I just wanted to send a big hug full of PMA to our SONU!!! Praying this is your time, sweetie. Lord, please let the lab carefully unfreeze Sonu's little embabies and keep them safe and intact in the process. I pray that they remain strong and sticky and ready to stick to mommy!!! Lord, I pray for the hands and minds of the doctors and nurses who handle her embabies and her tomorrow. Father, we pray for YOUR will in Sonu's life and give her strength, encouragement and lots of strong positive mental attitude to keep her through this upcoming 2ww. AMEN!

We'll be thinking of you tomorrow, Sonu. Take it easy and give your little ones LOTS of time to settle in. Did you decide about the job??

Waiting to hear the good news! HUGS!!

nicaliw · Post by **nicaliw** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:50 pm

Indieblue....doesn't it feel great when you reach the next step and things start moving forward?? Never have I been so happy for AF to arrive as I was recently, so I think we can relate. Good luck with all the testing.

On the subject of nurses.......I also feel like my nurses run the show and sometimes they're quite rude and insensitive. I remember when I was going through the agony of waiting for my beta to drop after my miscarriage they would check my beta on a Friday morning then make me wait until monday afternoon to get the results when I knew they already had the result cause I called the lab. Ironically the lab wouldn't tell me the result because I'm just the patient after all. So, yes, the nurses can be quite challenging to say the least. In their defense, though, they do have to deal with a lot of hormonal women every day.....but thats their job right?

OK, so enough venting. ONLY 9 DAYS TO GO TIL MY BABIES COME BACK TO ME!!!!!! Please God let them survive the thaw. PMA PMA PMA.....they're going to survive and we're going to have twins!

chriss · Post by **chriss** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:59 pm

Hi guys,

Hope, I know I already said it on the other thread, but once again... Congratulations!

Sonu good luck for tomorrow. Thinking of you.

Apdean, hope you are feeling better.

Hrobinson, glad biopsy went well and everything looks good. You must feel a bit relieved.

kbat, you have a great attitude. Keep up the PMA, God works wonders.

Hi Indie, you are on your way. Thanks for the mention. Don't worry about me. I am on a path. PMA all the way. Glad things are progressing for you nicely. I don't blame you for not wanting to wait. Go for it.

Hello to everyone. Just a quick check in form me. I went for a pre-op appointment today. Had to do paperwork and blood in advance for hysteroscopy scheduled for next week. RE will be looking in my uterus with a camera. Wow, huh?

Speak to you soon. -chriss

nicaliw · Post by **nicaliw** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:21 pm

chriss....glad you are keeping your PMA...good for you! Don't sweat the hysteroscopy, its a piece of cake, I've had two plus one to remove a fibroid. They're not uncomfortable like HSG's....yuk. Anyway, glad you're doing OK.

Hope644 · Post by **Hope644** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:26 pm

Our Heart's Desire PRAISE and PRAYERS....

Psalm 7:17 I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.

MP/Mia- Praise to God for a BFP on 2/14/08!!

Beta #1 = 316 and Beta #2 = 960!! First U/S scheduled for 2/25/08 Praise to the Lord, she saw the little one fluttering around in there! 2nd U/S 3/6/08! Still growing strong!!

Kildean - Praise to God for a BFP!! Beta #1 = 1255! First U/S = 2/29/08!

Princess - Praise for BFP on 1/18!! Prayers for continued growth and development into a beautiful, healthy baby!!

Hope - Praise for healing and strength and BFP (3/25) and prayers for a strong beta on 3/31!!

Lord, you already know every hair on Mia's, Kildean's, Princess', and Hope's little ones heads. We pray that you continue to grow and develop them in their mothers wombs and they go on to deliver beautiful and healthy bundles of joy which they will teach your ways, O Lord.

Weezie - Prayers for you sweetie... Praying God continues to bless and keep you. Please let us know how you are

Angela - Prayers for you as well. Praying God keeps His mighty hand over you. Please send us an update.

Nikki - Prayers a healthy, fruitful FET on 4/4/08 as well as for encouragement and strength from the Lord!! Prayers for a safe thaw of her little embabies waiting to come home. And prayers for the Lord's will and guidance in the foster care/adoption process! Praise for healing!

Indie - Prayer for God's will and direction and continued unity of heart and mind with DH. Prayers for the upcoming IVF cycle. Praise for oneness of mind with DH. Prayers for smooth sailing in the IVF study cycle, much patience and safe travel with to the clinic. Praise for AF's arrival - things are just beginning!

Sonu - Prayer for FET on 3/27. Prayers for a safe thaw of her 5 little embabies. Praise for the teaching job, may she be a blessing to the children she teaches as she has blessed us.

Chelly - Prayer for comfort and encouragement through the IVF process (update??!) Praying for you, dear. Please update us.

Cathann - Praying your surgery went well and had a safe and fruitful ER/ET. Update us!!

Chriss - Prayers for encouragement and peace in this difficult time. May God bless you with the peace that surpasses all understanding as you grieve and heal. Prayers for strength renewed as you continue your TTC journey with the new clinic. Prayers that all goes well with the upcoming surgery.

Paulina - Prayers for encouragement from the Lord, that He will hear her cries and show her His love and for strength and healing after the failed cycle.

Edel - Prayers for healing and strength after chemical pg and for a safe and healthy FET next month? Thinking of you, dear... please update us. Praying for you.

Apdean23 - Prayers for healing and strength after the difficult ER and OHSS. Praying for strong, sticky embies on 3/20 and a big FAT positive. Testing, when?? Prayers for health and healing with PCOS.

hrobinson - Prayers for healing and good results from the test.

kbat/Kara - Prayers for healing and comfort through the grieving process. She trusts in Your will, Father, help her through this difficult time and show her the wonderful plans that you have set for her - wherever they take her.

Iccin - Prayers for you and your most recent cycle. Please let us know how you are doing. Results from your blood test? Praying that your hpts were wrong. If not, Father, please bring comfort and peace to Iccin and help her to grieve but encourage her with your plans for the future.

Leigh28 - Prayers for encouragment and peace as well as guidance and direction for the future. Prayers for health and a fruitful FET in May or June.

Thank you, Lord, for the many blessings you have given us. Thank you for each and every person on this list. Please bless us and help us to know your will for our lives and Lord, to seek your will in all we do. Thank you God, for the blessing we have been to each other in this short time together. Please bless our friendships as we honor You! And help us, Father, to encourage and support one another through joy and laughter as well as through sorrow and tears. Teach us Lord, to love one another and others as You love us.

Draw us nearer to You, Lord, as we go through this process. Lord, whatever the path you have chosen for us, show us the way You want us to go. Grant us peace and comfort in your loving arms, Father Abba. Help us to know how our struggles and our suffering are important to you and how you long for us to grow through them and lean on You. Help us to know how to pray and for what to pray. Convict us in the areas of our lives that need correction and guide us back to the paths of fulfillment, sanctification, and righteousness.

In the Name of Your Precious Son, Jesus, Amen.

Hope644 · Post by **Hope644** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:48 pm

Hi Ladies -

I can't wait to update the praises with more BFPs!! Sonu, Apdean, & Nikki - you guys are just around the corner!!!

Chriss - Praying that your surgery goes perfectly. What day is it scheduled next week? How soon will you get any results? Since they have a camera in your uterus, will they tell you what they see as they are performing the procedure?

Indie - So glad AF showed up - and that you were prepared! (girl scout!) haha! When will you find out if you can opt-out of the psych exam. Seems like you've done enough already with the adoption process, that they should be able to just get like a referral or something. Especially since it's just one visit... seriously, anyone can play any role for a single session - that's no indication! (not that you would - I just happen to know a person who has some serious issues and who has convinced a psychologist that he is perfectly sane - sociopathic? i'd be willing to guess certifiable.) ANYWAY. So glad things are moving along for you! About nurses - ugh. I am starting to dread hearing from mine. My hormones are probably (ok, definitely) not helping, but she wears me out every time just by hearing her voice. Hope yours gets her stuff in gear.

Nikki - 9 more days!!! WOOOHOOO!!! That's fantastic news! I can't wait to read the post from you telling us of your BFP!!!!! Remind me again, how many embies you have frozen and how many to transfer?

Apdean - How are you feeling, honey? WHEN DO YOU TEST?? I don't think I have a date anywhere. If you can hold out - more power to you!! I just couldn't do it. It was WAY TOO LONG. Having any symptoms??

Kbat - how are you today, dear? What's your plan/protocol for acupuncture? Are you doing a long plan (over months)?? I went leading up to my IVF and in the few days after. I have a strong belief in TCM. I am praying it makes a huge difference in your body!!! Oh, and the glitter - I'll send you a PM to tell you how to do it.

Kildean & MP/Mia - How's our resident preggies doing??!!! M/S? When do you both graduate to the OB? Or have you already?? Are either of you doing a midwife or regular OB? Sorry if you've already said! I just can't keep it all straight sometimes!

As for me, I'm feeling really tired. Don't know if it's the little ones or if it's the PIO. I guess either or both can do it. I asked DH today, "IF i was to test, would you want to know the result?" and he said NO. He said because "you're not supposed to test and you're just wasting your money, but I know you've already bought them cos i saw 'em in the closet!" I said OK, then I won't tell you. He made his choice and he can wait til Monday. At least now I don't worry that he would have wanted to know.

chriss · Post by **chriss** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:50 pm

niclaw, thanks for the quick note. And best wishes for you and your embies. I'm praying for you. Take care.

Hope, you are so good with the updates, thanks so much for taking care of us.

Talk to you guys soon. -chriss

waitingforMia · Post by **waitingforMia** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:36 am

Sonu: Thinking of you and praying that everything goes well tomorrow!!! Please update us when you can.

Hope everyone else is doing well. I had a busy day today and will again tomorrow - too many papers to grade and I am feeling sooo unmotivated. But I am still thinking and praying for you all.

MP

nicaliw · Post by **nicaliw** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:50 pm

Hope...how are you feeling? Has the fatigue hit you yet?

In answer to your question....we have 4 frozen embryos, one really good, 3 just good quality. We are going to thaw all of them and our RE suggests putting 3 back in. I think we'll follow his recommendation. Of course, there's always a chance only 1 or 2 will survive. For some reason I am stressing this so much. I asked ghost what she thought and she said since our RE is at CCRM we should start picking out names. That certainly helped my PMA.......but I guess I am still protecting myself from the pain by expecting the worst.

IndieBlue · Post by **IndieBlue** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:07 pm

Hello all

Nicaliw: You do realize that Ghost is a man...right LOL He works at a RE's office I think? But I heard someone else call Ghost a 'she' and it was corrected very quickly on that IF board

He's very very helpful though....huge wealth of knowledge and I've asked him about my local clinics too. I'm glad he said to pick out names...YAY! I'll be praying extra hard for you and your 4 little embies! Our RE hasn't discussed FET's with us and how they handle that (how many embies...etc) but hopefully we'll not need to know about that procedure

PMA!

Mia: I hope your got your papers graded

I can not imagine having a stack full to grade....I do good to grade what I do. I used to help at the school when my oldest 2 were in public school though and sometimes I'd grade things for the teachers....WOW, if you miss just one day it really really builds up. Glad you're feeling good with the pregnancy though, no more MS? So excited for you....just sorry that the twin didn't make it. So at what point are you telling family/friends and your work? Or have you already....I can't keep up LOL

Chriss: Glad you're on a path and feeling positive about that. It's not so much that I 'worry' about any of you...just like to keep in touch and know that everyone is okay, or if you're not okay, what I can be praying for. You never have to tell me anything that you don't feel is my biz though....I truly just like to pray for all of you and miss seeing post from you all. I am happy for you though....and for your journey forward.

KBat: Sorry about the insurance issues. We don't have insurance coverage for anything other than diagnostic, so this will be our one and only try. If I get any frozen embryo's out of it we may do a FET next year....but since the clinic is so far away and we already have quite a crew, we'll take God's leading in that decision if we get to that. I'm glad that you are at peace with your decision to move in a different direction though....you never know! I'll be praying for God's guidance and that he places your children in your life at the PERFECT time

On the note of nurses, I have another group I'm a member of and one of them had to go in this morning for her first Lupron shot. She said they made an appointment early so the nurse could show them how to give that first show (obviously they weren't given a shot class). The nurse said they were too busy in the morning for showing people how to give shots, and refused to do it. She said follow the instructions in the packet. Well, the packet didn't come with one, they'd purchased from a pharmacy that was 1000.00 cheaper and the nurses response to that was "well, you don't use our pharmacy and that's what you get" !!!!! Luckily a office administrator or something came in and gave her a quick 'how to' on the shots...but still, RUDE! There was no need in that! I pray that my nurses are better than that...my plan is shower them with sugar and maybe they can't be too mean to me...LOL I've tried to be EXTRA nice everytime I've talked to them...it atleast makes me feel better LOL

APDean: Glad you're feeling better....Beta is sneaking up on you isn't it? How much longer....a week?

Sonu: Loving the dancing bears....too cute! You are so good at those and so is Hope. I've got to get more literate on this board LOL I was a board monitor years and years ago for AOL...those were much simpler days though LOL And thank you for the congrats on AF....don't think I've ever had a Congrats for that before LOL I'm glad she's here too.....and my cramps haven't even been as bad (which may be my PMA or the addition of so much Iron to my system). Can't wait till tomorrow....another first, who says that when they are having blood drawn and a vag. ultrasound on their period LOL Praying for your little embryo's

and your FET.

Kildean: How are the twins? Still thriving and letting you bypass that MS?

Hope: Another Congrats!!! LOL And I loved that you said your nurses voice just wears on your nerves LOL Too funny! Just think....you won't have to endure her much longer before you're released to your OB...right? I can't believe your DH didn't want to know...WOW! My husband would be digging through the garbage to find the test LOL With both of our birth children he wanted me to call the minute I POAS LOL, both times he was at work. He said he remembers exactly where he was both times though and it just lit up his day. He's gotten a bit further away from God lately though....not really looking for God in every day things...etc so it's hard for him to see past our 4 year olds problems and concentrate on IVF. He's excited, but I just want him to walk with God on this one, and not as a man. Does that make sense LOL

Well, as I said....I'm excited about tomorrow (FSH and Ultrasound), but I really really want my husband to let God lead him on this. I told him I'd thought about fasting in prayer this week, because I get sad when I can't hear God and he just said that he hasn't 'heard' him in a while. I told him that no matter what our adopted children do, I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that God put them here so that gets me through it all. If I had a smidge of doubt in my mind, I'd question everything that I'd done....questioning if we were supposed to adopt, if I'd ruined our family by going out on a limb...etc. That is how I want to feel about this IVF cycle. I want to know without a shadow of a doubt that we were on the same page, following God! That way if anything goes wrong....we know that it was God's will and not a whim/coincidence...etc And I still think that even if we, as humans, decide to go and do something crazy...that as a Christian, we are guided back to the right path by God eventually and he uses everything to teach us, so there are no 'real' mistakes.

I explain it to my children like roads. There are many roads to get to the ByPass, but we always take the same one. If I made a wrong turn one day....I could still get to the ByPass, it just might take a little longer and run out a few more gallons of gas getting there. But, we'd end up in the same place eventually. I think that God does that to us too....don't you?

I guess now that we're getting closer to actually starting the cycle, we're both a little cautious, but again I think that God will guide us where he wants us...regardless of what we do. Pray please for our journey tomorrow, and my FSH testing

Thanks to all of you for praying for me and know that I am praying for you too. Have a wonderful weekend....my husband took off tomorrow to go with me again, so we're going to enjoy the day out after my early appointment

sonu911 · Post by **sonu911** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:57 am

Praise Lord!!!
Thanks for all the wonderful prayers!!

Nic - Just don't stress yourself and leave it up to God. I know its easier said than done. But another fact is that Life is a circle, you have seen enough in past few days/ months...now your good time has come. Everything will be fine and your very good and good embabies will be more than eager to stick to mommy!! Just few days left for you.

Hope - If I read it correctly your beta is on 31. Praying for a very strong beta. May God fulfill whatever desire you have in your mind reagrding boy/ girl/ twins/ triplets

. He is simply great!! Thanks for that wonderful prayer, I read it before I left for the clinic yesterday morning.

Indieblue - I know we will sound crazy congratulating each other on the arrival of AF anywhere else but on this board!!! lol!!
All the best wishes for your appointment and u/s. Your thoughts are so good and pure that magic is soon going to happen!!!

Chriss - So glad to see you with those positive vibes. It gives me so much of strength myself and an assurance that 'its not the end!!'Thanks for the thoughts.

Mia - I have no work at the moment but I ahve had my days when I worked like a horse for the newly established school...oh so much of work to do then. Glad you are feeeling great with your pregnancy now....well, soon the announcment time is coming!!
Thanks for the prayers!!

all my other sisters...thinking of you all and praying hard for each one's BFP here!!

As for me, 3 out of 5 embabies survived the thaw- all grade 1 - 6 celled, 5 celled and 4 celled respectively. PRAISE LORD!!!
Betahcg on 11 april.

I am on 2ww now. Ok...off to rest now...
any thought on precautions??

kbat · Post by **kbat** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:49 am

Thanks Hope for the PM message on how to add graphics. Later on I will play around w/ it and start adding them.

As for my acupuncture plan, I think I will try it over several months. I am going once a week and taking these herbal pill twice a day (8 little pills). I also I have ovulation kit that I purchased in between doing IUI and IVF (mainly since the old insurance was a pain and wouldn't get 100% coverage). So, I have to find out when I am ovulating. I figured I would give it about 4 months total--maybe longer. I have endo and they removed my left tube. So I know I ovulate, but don't know from month to month which side I am ovulating on--the theory is that one month you ovulate on one side the next month the other side. I remember once my re said that sometimes you may ovulate on one side for 2 months, but generally that's what happens--one side one month the other side the next month. If I am ovualating on the left side, I won't get pregnant no matter what I do b/c there's no tube. So basically there's a 50% this could happen depending on the month. So I figured I would just start out by doing it about 4 months. the acupuntrist said anytime I want to give up the acupuncture part and just do the herbs that would be o.k. But since it's only once a week, I think it'll be affordable (about $200 a month). And since I don't have to pay for meds or co-payments, I figured it's not too expensive overall--and it's relaxing.

Then if it doesn't seem to work, after that, I may just do the herbs a little longer--just to see what happens. If nothing seems to happen by the end of the summer/early fall, then I will probably move on. I am not ready to totally move on, but I am sort of coming to peace w/ it. I guess it just takes time. I know that God will do what's best for me. I am sure that He's the one who has guided me to try tcm. I actually had gotten a pm for a fellow IVFer who knew my situation and suggested that perhaps if I didn't go through w/ another IVF, that maybe tcm would be an alternative. Maybe she was God's messenger. Sometimes God uses others to help Him do his work, so that's why I am given the tcm a shot. I think it can only do good.

Got an oil delivery yesterday, and almost died (up to 3.50/gallon and I needed about 250 gallons) and I have a well water and after dinner last night discovered no water and the pump was at 0 pressure---so right now our money resources are for the house. I did get pressure back w/ water (yeah--can take my shower even if it's a short one--LOL). But what is one to do--you need heat and you need water. Not much else you can do about it except do what you need to do!!! Oh the joys of homeownership!!!

Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Hope644 · Post by **Hope644** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:13 pm

I love seeing this thread at the top of the list!!! Busy girls!! I love it!!

First things first - Sonu!!! Congratulations on being PUPO!!!! You've finally got your embabies home where they belong!!!! You transferred all THREE, right?!

That's fantastic! You keep yourself comfy and rest!!! Were they at day 3 or day 5, or what?? Praise God! Testing on April 11!

Speaking of PUPO! Apdean!!! Have you given in to the pee sticks yet??

How you feeling, hon?? When is your beta date???

Nikki - How are you doing sweetie? Not much longer and we'll have another PUPO girl!! 7 more days!!! Very exciting! How are you feeling? Are the FET meds way easier than the IVF ones? I can't imagine not stimming! Praying for all four of your little embabies!! That is excellent news from Ghost! You hold on to that PMA!!! It sounds great!!!

Indie - Yeah, funny about DHs - how they are so diff! But, I can tell ya that my HPTs are not in the trash!! I know it's probably gross, but I keep them all - I still have the ones from my last pg, labeled neatly with the date!

Thanks for sharing your story about the roads. That's a great story. Praying for your travel today as well as strength from the Lord in faith for DH and of course, your FSH! Let us know how it goes!! Thinking of you!!

Kbat - You'll be glittering up the place before you know it!

Your acupuncture plan sounds like a good one! Sounds like you are following a call. I pray that you are and that it leads you to where you want to go in God's will. WHOA - that oil delivery must have been hard to swallow! And water problems to boot? Awh, hon, I'm sorry! You're right tho, gotta have heat & water! God will provide!

Hang in there!!

Mia - Did you get those papers done?? Not much longer and you'll be in the 2nd trimester!!! how wonderful!! how you feeling??

Kildean - Where you been, little girl??!! We've missed you! We need to hear all the good news about how your pg is progressing!!!

Fill us in!!!

Alrighty ladies - Not much new for me. I did POAS again yesterday and it was much darker - and on the 2nd p of the day! So I took that as a good sign. I'm feeling the fatigue set in for sure, napping nearly every day! DH still doesn't want to know, oh well, he can wait til Monday.

We are going to the lake this weekend and we'll be celebrating my middle DSS's birthday (it was wed). He's 14. I hope all goes smoothly. (We sometimes have issues with him - he's our little angry boy - still angry about his parents' divorce). He should be happy tho, since he's getting presents. Please pray for his mom. She had surgery on Tuesday to remove a lump in her breast and the boys said yesterday that it is cancerous. She shares way too much with them, I'm afraid, and it puts a lot of pressure on them. I pray that this situation will help her to realize what is really important in life and that she will begin putting her children first, instead of herself. I don't know for sure, but i don't think it's very serious. But please pray for her healing and change of heart, attitude and direction in life.

So, I won't be on line this weekend... but I'll be praying for you all. Have a blessed and wonderful weekend, dear sisters!!!

Hope644 · Post by **Hope644** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:47 pm