Heart’s Desire – Finding Strength and Direction from God

[kbat]

sorry I haven't posted in a while. Hectic at work. Acupuncture is going well. AF is coming soon and will start w/ the ovulation testing. I only have 50% chance each month since I had left tube taken out and don't know what side I ovulate from month to month, but still praying it'll work out.

Hope everyone is doing well and will have a wonderful weekend

[apdean23]

Hey Girls!

So they went ahead and let me test my Beta 2 days early so 12 days post transfer. It was 510, then I tested yesterday, which was my original preassigned day to test and Beta was 1387! Probly will have ultrasound next week!! I'm praying for u girls!

[nicaliw]

Indie.....sorry you had cramping. I do remember that was the worst part of the testing. I can totally relate to how you feel about unexpected costs. I'm still getting unexpected bills. For example, just got another bill for $950 for assisted hatching with our upcoming FET. nobody warns us how many extra costs there can be. We have spent almost $45,000 I think now, but that covers 5 more cycles but not any of the meds. My meds are around $3000 for a fresh cycle and $1500 for a frozen! Yikes.....wonder what could possibly make these meds so expensive to make?

A little update on me. I added more estrogen and have another lining check today. I'm so scared the news won't be good but excited at the same time in case the news is good. I also went to a yoga/support group for women in fertility treatment, which helped me relax and felt good to chat with other women about their situations. The lady who teaches the class primarily works as an accupunturist, so I took the plunge and this morning (after ultrasound) I have an appointment for acupuncture to help thicken my lining and other stuff that I'm not sure of but she thinks it will help me. I noticed a typo in my previous post, I said my FET was planned for April 10th, I meant to say Aprl 14th (10 days later than original date)

Its so amazing to read through and see all those BFP's.....and time flies, I can't beleive how far along some of you are already. Thats great!

Take care ladies
Nikki

[IndieBlue]

Thanks Hope And yes, I realize most people spend around 2500-3000 per cycle for meds, but we're supposed to get them at a DISCOUNT....that's where my gripe is coming from. The first time I spoke to the study coordinator she said between 2000-2500 and now it's up to 3000 and maybe more? Ugghhh. Then yesterday they talked about selective reductions (for some of the older women who might have more transferred) and I told my husband on the way home that I am in no way open for that, but we won't worry about it since I was only transferring 3 for 3 day and 2 for 5 day. He said he did not want twins AT ALL! so here we are again LOL

So anyhow, we have a month to think about things....we'll figure it out. I'll be praying a lot about it, I'm sure God will give me an answer.

Nicaliw: Isn't it funny how many things aren't covered after everything is done and spoken for. Our local clinic charges 13,900 for 1 fresh and 1 frozen cycle, plus meds. They said meds run between 2000-3000....so around 17,000 for a full cycle. Well, that doesn't include any diagnostic testing (which I do have insurance to cover), so again I'm glad that I'm getting a reduced rate....but I wished they'd have everything spelled out prior to the study starting so you would have all your dollar bills in a row and not have to go searching for more LOL

Oh my lining yesterday she said was a bit thin (between 6 and 7?)...does anyone know what it's supposed to be? And she said to the nurse that my cyst was a 18 1/2? Is that bad? I really should ask more questions when I'm there....but I was cramping and just wanted to get dressed and leave LOL

[nicaliw]

Imdie, I'm not sure what your lining should be at this point. I know at time of transfer it needs to be at least 8mm.

On the subject of linings. I just came home from my lining check and I'm so sad and confused. We added more estrogen to help thicken my lining but now my lining is actually thinner! Its 6.9, when 6 days ago it was 7.2-7.6. I am so confused. On top of that there is a cyst in the lining. I have no clue what thats all about. I just wish my lining would co-operate. So, it looks like the end of the road for this cycle probably. I haven't heard back from the nurse yet to see what the doc wants to do. I do have accupuncture in an hour that is intended to help thicken the lining.......so we'll see. Was going to cancel accu appointment but would still have to pay if I cancel at short notice.

Sorry for the gloomy attitude, I have just had it with all the dissappointment......I just need to cry it out for a while.

[IndieBlue]

Nicaliw: Well, that's just crud....what in the world is the deal with the meds they gave you? Aren't they supposed to thicken it? Odd....I'd definitely be bummed too.

I thought I read somewhere that pineapple juice is supposed to do something for the lining, but wonder how much you'd have to drink to make a difference....probably lots.

So, why would this be the end of this cycle? Is there a time limit on when you can transfer the FE's?

Sorry that you're going through this....

[nicaliw]

I don't know if I will definitely have to cancel it but I'm thinking that my body just doesn't respond to the estrogen the way it is supposed to and I'm not sure if there are other options that my RE would like to try to thicken the lining. We're already on 4 patches and estrace daily. I wonder if I'm just not absorbing it well? I'll find out later today when I get the results of my E2 level. I just don't understand how my estrogen could rise but my lining is getting thinner. Makes no sense. Now there's some kind of cyst there too, makes me think they'll just cancel. I wish I knew. I very frustrated, I feel like the ultrasound lady didn't know what she was taking about cause she had no clue what the round shadow/cyst could be and my lining looked way thicker on the screen than last time but she measured it as thinner. I don't have much confidence in her and I wasn't at my usual office. I'll never go back there for an ultrasound. They just scan you, give you the bad news then tell you to go home and wait for a call. At least at the main office they give you the chance to sit with a nurse to ask all the questions you might have.

Ok, I'm going on too long now, sorry......just frustrated and waiting to hear back from the nurse. I never hear from the doctor himself. I feel like the only time I see him is when my legs are open and feet in stirrups. Blah.

I'll try to be more positive in my next post, I promise.

[Hope644]

Hi Ladies -

just a real quick post - i'll be back tomorrow for more personals.

i just wanted to say, Nikki - I'm praying for you and your cycle/tmt. I know how frustrating it can be to take all these drugs and have your body not respond the way it should, and likely has before. I pray that God will heal the cyst that is present and make the way clear for tmt. I pray for peace for you and understanding. It is so frustrating to be so close and have roadblocks. He understands your pain, even if you don't understand why. - I know you know all this, but I just pray that He will guide you and direct you in His righteous path, leading you to a place of health, peace and comfort in Him.

Thinking of you Sweetie...

[nicaliw]

Hope, thankyou for your prayers, you know I so appreicate them.

My nurse finally called back late yesterday and it turns out the thing the sonographer called a cyst was not a cyst after all but something that was on my basline ultrasound that they're not even worried about. Dang it, I stressed all day about that! I'm going to be careful about what I listen, or who I listen to from now on I guess. Also, my doc wants to add more estrogen and wait another week to recheck my lining. So, I'm feeling better now, I'm confident that the accupuncture will help, I'm going at least 2 more times before next weekend. So fingers crossed.

[Hope644]

Hey Nikki -

I'm so glad to hear that the "cyst" isn't really a cyst after all!! That's great news! Isn't it frustrating to get these pieces of info that you stress over, only to find out they aren't big deals at all?? Ugh, I really think this is one of the worst things about IF tmt - we really know too much! Ignorance is bliss - but we don't have that luxury!

I really hope the acupucture will be a help for you. I know I've said it before, but I really feel that my acupuncture experiences have helped us tremendously. I'm even going back again once a week for the first trimester - I figured that he helped me get pg, hopefully he can help me stay pg! Let me know what u think about it! (And if the pineapple juice might help - drink up! )

Indie - I totally feel ya on the "discounts" that don't seem to be there!! Do you have anything in contract or written form stating any of the things they told you?? It's not right to lure you in with promises and then things change - seems like a slippery used-car sales approach to IVF! Do you think you'll confront them about it?? It can't hurt - the worst they can say is - no, too bad, and if you don't want to pay, drop out of the program...
Wish I had some help for you on the lining and cyst issues. That is one thing I have never tracked in my cycles. And about reduction - I'm not an advocate either!! But, take it one step at a time... don't worry about having twins until you see two little embies on that U/S!! God's will be done!

Apdean! Excellent betas!!! Can't wait to hear about the U/S next week??? When are you going, do you have a date yet?? Praying for your little ones & you!!

kbat - sorry things are hectic for you at work! We've missed you! Glad the acupuncture is going well! Praying it works soon! Wouldn't it be great if they could add the L/R side to the ovulation tests?!! that would be such a help!! Hang in there!!!

Sonu!! Where are you? Have you broken down and POAS yet?? Thinking of you!!! If you are waiting for the beta, not much longer, right?? This Friday??! If you're like me, it'll be a LONG week!!! Thinking of you - stick embies and stay stuck!!!

Mia, Kildean - how are are senior mommas doing?? Praying you guys are doing well and hanging in there.

Hello to everyone else - You are all in my prayers.

A little update from me - we had our 3rd and last beta on Friday. We more than doubled again. 23dpo - 9,156. Very happy - but still very cautious. I hope that good doubing and good numbers are good indictations of a healthy pg - I wish the could tell me my chance of M/C lowered because of it - but I haven't heard that yet. Good news is my first U/S is this WED!! Only 3 more sleeps til I get to see my little one(s) hanging on and hopefully see some strong heart beats!!!

I know the two weeks after that are going to be the hardest yet. For those of you who don't know - I lost my last little one sometime between week 6 and week 8. 6w1d U/S - everything was great - 8w1d U/S - little growth and no h/b. Please pray that God grants me the strength and peace I need to get through those two weeks - talk about the 2ww!!! It never ends, the hurdles just change. But, I have to make it thru this Wed first. One hurdle and one day at a time.

[Hope644]

Our Heart's Desire PRAISE and PRAYERS....

Psalm 7:17 I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.


MP/Mia- Praise to God for a BFP on 2/14/08!! Beta #1 = 316 and Beta #2 = 960!! First U/S scheduled for 2/25/08 Praise to the Lord, she saw the little one fluttering around in there! 2nd U/S 3/6/08! Still growing strong!!

Kildean - Praise to God for a BFP!! Beta #1 = 1255! First U/S = 2/29/08!

Princess - Praise for BFP on 1/18!! Prayers for continued growth and development into a beautiful, healthy baby!!

Hope - Praise to the Lord for a BFP (3/25)!! 1st beta = 1700, 2nd beta = 3,954, 3rd beta = 9,156. First U/S Wed 4/9

Apdean23 - Praise for a BFP!!! 1st beta = 510, 2nd beta = 1,387!! Praise for health and healing with PCOS.

Lord, you already know every hair on Mia's, Kildean's, Princess', Hope's, and Apdean's little ones heads. We pray that you continue to grow and develop them in their mothers wombs and they go on to deliver beautiful and healthy bundles of joy which they will teach your ways, O Lord.

Weezie - Prayers for you sweetie... Praying God continues to bless and keep you. Please let us know how you are

Angela - Prayers for you as well. Praying God keeps His mighty hand over you. Please send us an update.

Nikki - Prayers for a strong, thick lining and a healthy, safe FET very soon!! Prayers well as for encouragement and strength from the Lord!! Prayers for a safe thaw of her little embabies waiting to come home. And prayers for the Lord's will and guidance in the foster care/adoption process! Praise for healing!


Indie - Prayers for the upcoming IVF cycle. Praise for oneness of mind with DH and good results on the inital testing! Prayers for smooth sailing in the IVF study cycle, much patience and safe travel with to the clinic. Prayers for good results on Thursday!

Sonu - Praise 3 safe and healthy embabies transferred on 3/27. Prayers for sticky embabies and strong BFP beta on 4/11. Praise for the teaching job, may she be a blessing to the children she teaches as she has blessed us.

Chelly - Prayer for comfort and encouragement through the IVF process (update??!) Praying for you, dear. Please update us.

Cathann - Praying your surgery went well and had a safe and fruitful ER/ET. Update us!!

Chriss - Prayers for strength renewed as you continue your TTC journey with the new clinic. Praise that all went well with the hysterocopy on Wed 4/2. Prayers for a new outlook and plan of action with the new RE and for safe travels to and from their office.


Paulina - Prayers for encouragement from the Lord, that He will hear her cries and show her His love and for strength and healing after the failed cycle.


Edel - Prayers for healing and strength after chemical pg and for a safe and healthy FET next month? Thinking of you, dear... please update us. Praying for you.


hrobinson - Prayers for healing and good results from the test. Praise for the upcoming FET cycle! Prayers for a safe thaw for her little embabies!! Praise for the excellent test scores of her students!!

kbat/Kara - Prayers for healing and strength with TCM. She trusts in Your will, Father, help her through this difficult time and show her the wonderful plans that you have set for her - wherever they take her.

Iccin - Prayers for you and your most recent cycle. Please let us know how you are doing. Results from your blood test? Praying that your hpts were wrong. If not, Father, please bring comfort and peace to Iccin and help her to grieve but encourage her with your plans for the future.

Leigh28 - Prayers for encouragment and peace as well as guidance and direction for the future. Prayers for health and a fruitful FET in May or June.

Thank you, Lord, for the many blessings you have given us. Thank you for each and every person on this list. Please bless us and help us to know your will for our lives and Lord, to seek your will in all we do. Thank you God, for the blessing we have been to each other in this short time together. Please bless our friendships as we honor You! And help us, Father, to encourage and support one another through joy and laughter as well as through sorrow and tears. Teach us Lord, to love one another and others as You love us.

Draw us nearer to You, Lord, as we go through this process. Lord, whatever the path you have chosen for us, show us the way You want us to go. Grant us peace and comfort in your loving arms, Father Abba. Help us to know how our struggles and our suffering are important to you and how you long for us to grow through them and lean on You. Help us to know how to pray and for what to pray. Convict us in the areas of our lives that need correction and guide us back to the paths of fulfillment, sanctification, and righteousness.

In the Name of Your Precious Son, Jesus, Amen.

[IndieBlue]

Okay, just a quick note before bed. I read that it's 8-12 ounces of pineapple juice a day....that's a lot. I think I'll give it a try though, since we like Pineapple around here It says not to do it throughout pregnancy though (third trimester) because it can cause contractions?

Oh and I found a few sites that suggest Red Raspberry leaf tea? Never saw that though...although I used to drink Wild Yam tea that was Pineapple and Raspberry flavored.....LOL

Good luck We'll find out the B/W results and the SA results this week, praying they come back okay

[sonu911]

HEY ALL

Just popped in to say HI to all!!

Nic~ Glad that the cyst confusion was cleared. Don't worry everything will be fine and your lining will be great, just nurture this fact everyday , everytime that my lining is getting thicker and you will find that it actually has. Its our Faith and the moment we start having doubts, then we lose the battle. Hang in there, dear!!
If God had brought us here, HE will definitly take us further.

Indieblue~Thinking of you, dear.

Hope~ So happy to rise in your beta score...thats awesome!! I am sure you are having multiples snuggling in there... I wish for you the best!!

About myself~ Well I have not succumbed to the pressure of POAS. Infact my DH is totally against it. I am feeling quite positive this time. Thanks to the great support group here. Just few more days for my testing....awwwgh its on FRIDAY....its like I have been waiting for ages for 11 th April.
Well...with 2ww misery, my workstation crashed and my communication with the world came to a halt... It will take some more time to get repaired . But I will make sure to lend laptop from someone and inform you guys about my result on FRIDAY.
.....about symptoms I am very confused but positive.

Praying for all...

[Hope644]

keep up the PMA, Sonu!!!! He is good!!! Sorry to hear about your workstation!! You must find some way to get on line to tell us the GOOD news on Friday!!! Good thing it wasn't this weekend. I think the site was down for like 36 hrs!! (guessing, but it was a long time).

Indie - wild yam tea??? I couldn't help but think of a baked yam in a cartoon (you know, with a face & arms & legs) running around like a tazmanian devil, breaking stuff and causing general ruckus in the scene.... (don't ask why my mind goes the places it goes - too many cartoons as a kid, i suppose!) Let's just hope drinking all that pineapple juice doesn't affect you the same way!!!

Hugs & prayers to all - off to work today. ugh. I spent most of the wknd in bed or on the couch. I was so tired... still don't feel like getting up & going. Thankfully (another praise to Him) I have it pretty easy at work these days and an understanding boss.

I have been noticing both pulses (left & right) being very strong all weekend. Once, in the middle of the night, I woke up and could feel my right arm's pulse without even touching it - weird... I hope that's not a BAD thing!!! It only happened for a 15 sec or so tho. I'm using all this to keep up my PMA. I still don't really have any m/s yet. Maybe I won't. Only 2 more sleeps til U/S!!

[IndieBlue]

Sonu: Praying for you....keep up that PMA and we'll be looking for an update Friday!

Hope: I feel my pulse like that every once in a while, but don't remember if I got it when I was pregnant. Good for you, resting this weekend We tried to, but we just couldn't stand the color of the living room walls anymore so we took a trip to Lowes/Home Depot and picked out new paint, light fixtures...etc LOL We redid a bathroom last month....I like home improvement And yes....WildYam tea Crazy wild yams...LOL I'm not drinking a TON of pineapple juice because my lining was between 6-7 this last time (cycle day 9) so I'm thinking that it'll be fine for transfer with just a little boost.

SA came back 'within normal parameters' so guess that's good and we'll move forward. I think the next step is the psychologist visit, then I'll go on BCP's during April's AF at the end of the month. Praying the extra money for the meds comes through or the meds aren't as much as they are quoting. We could stop remodeling and save TONS LOL....so maybe that's our problem.