Heart’s Desire – Finding Strength and Direction from God

[sonu911]

Mia - Thanks for the wonderful words.
The other day when I wrote that message, I was feeling really low, smitten with so many fears. But now I hve promised myself pma pma pma and nothing less than tht.
Sorry tht you are feeling weak. Praying tht you regain your lost apetite soon. If I remember correctly, is it time for your vacations??

Indie blue- Infection hurts. Hope you recover soon. God is good all the time...he makes sure we find the way withe ase. Praise Lord for the increase in your salary.

Hope - Take care, thinking of you.

Chriss - How are you dear?? How was the other mock transfer? seems your new RE is doing every thing to gain your trust and confidence, this will surely help you to have your PMA intact. Have you already started with your meds?

Hugs and Prayers for all

[sonu911]

Nikki

Sending this for your FET on 18th April.



Hugs

[chriss]

Hey Girls,

I'm praying for all of you, just a small update on me. I got to see my little ones heart beat. Everything is going great for me! I want to thank everyone for all of there prayers!

Alisha

That's wonderful! -chriss

[chriss]

Mia, sounds like you are doing the best you can with nutrition. Good idea to talk it over with Dr. Hope you are well.

Indie, unfortunate about infection but all the other news sounded so good. (the right counselor, right location and the extra money). That's all great.

Nicaliw, best wishes for tomorrow. GEt a good night's sleep hun.

Hi Hope, Holly.

Sonu, you sound much better than the other day. We all have our moments. Thanks for asking about me. Second mock transfer was just as good as the first. New RE is awesome. Keep up your PMA girl. You are pregnant and everyything is going well!!!!

I'm sorry if I missed anyone.

I am back from RE. had a procedure today that went very well. My new RE takes a bit of the endometrium lining and uses it to grow the embryos when the time comes for my ER. They do a biopsy and then freeze the cells until they are ready. It is a procedure thay use to help with embryo quality. Fancy schmancy, huh? My new RE is one of those people that always looks like he is smiling. Nice to be around.

Thinking of you all. TOmorrow is FRIDAY!!!

-chriss

[nicaliw]

Hi ladies....thanks for all of your thoughts. I'm going to get some sleep before the big day tomorrow. Fortunately, its not til lunchtime, I don't do well with rushing around in the early morning.

[IndieBlue]

Good luck to you today Nicaliw!!!

[IndieBlue]

Well ladies, pray for me. I got a call back today from the psychologist in town and it seems he had to call my RE's office to discuss some of the requirements of the visit. Sadly now his quote is between 300-500!!! That's every bit of money we'd budgetted for the gas to and from the RE's office I'm afraid that we're back at square one! My husband agreed to go ahead with this study instead of waiting till next year IF it was going to be a lot less in cost. Well, we're inching our way back up to the cost it would be if we went to our local RE's here in town (and their plan is a shared risk with 2 cycles included).

I just don't know what to do First it was that our meds would be covered by our CareMark. Then we found out that they won't, so husband agreed to use Credit for that and we'll pay it back by the end of the year. Then the male testing wasn't covered, then they wanted to up the meds price by 500.00...now this with the psychologist. I absolutely do not want to call the RE's nurse and complain, or try and get out of it....I realize it's a step they make all their patients take. But at the same time, I'm not going to fuss with my husband over another 500.00

I can't believe that this is so hard....it's like going through our adoption all over again. I don't blame him for not wanting to do it really....I'm tired of jumping through hoops too. And it doesn't help that I've joined a group of study participants and NONE of them had to do a psychological. Most of them didn't even have to do the pre-testing that I've had done...except for an ultrasound and some FSH testing!!!!!! And on top of that, their RE's office doesn't charge anything but 500.00 for fees to begin the study and then for the cryo services if any embryo's are leftover!!! Amazing how differently they all can charge for the same exact study, and how differently they set the rules.

So just pray for us. Thanks!

[nicaliw]

Indie, this sure has been an ordeal for you. Just one extra expense after another..... I can relate. Do you think your DH is really going to want to call it off because of the psych fees? I hope not. My thoughts are with you.

[nicaliw]

Here's an update on me.
My FET went very well. All 4 blasts survived the thaw very well. 2 of them were already hatching. 1 looked a little less quality with 75% of cells surviving (they said more than 70% is good, the other 3 were 90%, 95% and 100%). We had planned on transferring 3 and refreezing the poorest quality but the doc said the 4 th wouldn't survive another freeze.
So......we transferred all 4!!!!!!!! Yipeeeeee. I know I may sound crazy to some but the doc said chances of quads is slim, especially since my lining isn't optimal. I'm hoping putting all 4 in will offest the poor lining a little to increase the chances of at least one implanting.

So, God answered my prayers...,all 4 survived and the transfer went very well. Thanks for all your prayers, too, ladies.

[IndieBlue]

Wow....all 4!!! Praying for you! I think you made the right decision, God will not give you more than you can handle.

[sonu911]

Indieblue ~ My prayers are with you, if it has to happen it will happen whatever may the expenses be. God will make a way for you. These are practical hurdles which I am sure you will definitly survive.

Nikki ~ I am so happy for you. Indie is right God will give you only what you can handle. Keep up the PMA...enjoy being a PUPO. not far from that BFP!!!

HUGS AND PRAYERS FOR ALL!!!

[hrobinson]

Nici- I have been thinking about you. So glad that the FET went well. I am a little shocke tha Dr. S agreed to do all 4. However, I think you made the right decision. We will be prayig that everything works out well for you. When is your official test date? Will you POAS?

Indie- bless your heart. This whole process has been such a roller coaster ride for you. I hope that God speaks with both you and your husband and put you on the path that you need to be on.
I cannot believe the price differences with the same trial. I would be tempted to question that.

Just wanted to let you girls know that I am thinking of everyone here.

[kbat]

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have been working lots of overtime (I work at the tax dept, and it's been a busy week--so I am pretty tired). Trying to catch up w/ all the posts.

IndieBlue--hoping things turn out o.k. I know the money thing can add stress to the whole situation.

Nicalew--will be praying that all goes well for you!!!!!

Just an update for me.... I've been continuing doing acupuncture and I have been taking the "herb pills" as directed. I have been keeping track of my ovulation cycle---on Day 10 and will probably be ovulating sometime next week--most likely on Tues or Wed. Then I go from there. I know that there's at most a 50% in a given month--as I don't know which side I am ovulating on (if I ovulate on the left side--nothing will happen for sure since there's no tube.) I must admit that I am coming the realization that I am probably following a pipe dream and that in the end maybe nothing will happen, but I feel like I don't have anything to lose by trying one last time to do it this way. So, I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens over the next few months . If nothing happens by June, I will probably get on w/ my life (that way it gives me a few shots to have this work. By June, I should have ovulated at least once on the right side.)

Have a wonderful week-end everyone!

[waitingforMia]

Hi girls!!

Kbat: Good to hear from you - My sis works with taxes and has been so busy as well! High stress around this time of the year!! It always kinda feels like I am chasing an unattainable dream too. Sorry. Do you have any plans if this doesnt work? Would you be open to adoption? My dh was not open for adoption (though I prayed for a long time for God to change his heart) so that is why I ask. In any case you are always so supportive of all of us I really hope you get your dream this time!

hrobinson: Still bummed you will be in SA and I won't! boohoo! Hope your classes are going well Are the students starting to anxious now that the end of the year is almost here??

Nic: WOw that is encouraging that ll of them survived. I have one frozen and the RE made the chances of that one thawing so low! I didnt even know they could refreeze em!! Glad it went well. Praying for your embies!

Indie: You poor thing. Man you have been through the ringer with this study! I know it would be tough at thispoint to just quit it. Praying for oneness of mind for you and dh. That is ridiculous that they couldnt tell you up front all of the expected costs! I am really upset for you - wish I could give them a call!! At least we can rest knowing that this isnt surprising to God, and He has brought you this far for some reason. Praying for wisdom for you.


Chriss: Wow talk about high tech doc! I am really happy that you found him. And you sound so much more peaceful than before.

Sonu: How are you feeling? When is that appt that you have coming up??

Hope: We miss you

I bought my first baby related item - stretch mark cream! and a bella band - a belt like material that allows you to wear your pants with the button undone. We'll see how it works out.

Dh leaves in 10 days for his home country I will be here three weeks before I will join him for three weeks! It will be nice to finally tell ppl the news! But I am also a bit apprehensive b/c we have several friends there (and here) who have been ttc and havent had kids. It feels weird. and I know it is always nice to see one of our own (vs. the fertile myrtles of the world) get pg, but still it isn't easy hearing. So I am praying for sensitivity. ALso I huge part of my existence has been wrapped up in IF, so I am still dealing with the change on a personal level. Not sure if anyone knows what I am blabbering about. BUt like for example I have always used my IF as a witnessing tool, or to encourage others, but I feel like I dont have that anymore. Anyone else knwo what I mean?

MP

[nicaliw]

MP. Where is DH'd home country? Are you moving out there? Did I miss something? Good to hear you're doing OK, its so encouraing watching your baby ticker.....13 weeks, YAY.

kbat...when you say you're going to try again this way, so you mean IVF or with TCM??

Hrobinson.....I'm going to try my absolute hardest not to poas this time. Last time I caused myself more anxiety by doing that cause every time I tested negative it got me down, then when I got a faint positive I wondered if it was real. It is going to be really hard to resist but I think I can do it. Actually, the plan is to go for blood draw in the am then poas that same day so when they call with the result I am prepared. I hate the thought of getting the news it was unsuccessful over the phone. I only have 1 hpt left so I'll save it for that day. Oh, the offical test date is next Sunday, the 27th, so not long to wait.
Your time is rolling around too, I know summer break is not far off now.

Thanks to all of you for your continued prayers that the little embryos are still alive and thriving and finding a good place to implant in my uterus.

Hugs

Nikki