I was so mad

[Helen Reid]

I registered with my midwife yesterday and we were going through all the usual questions and she said something about the first time and i said i had a miscarage (i lost my first baby in Nov 2001). Then we talked a little about my tmt and how it was a fet then she said about the last time and i said i have had a mc and an eptopic gave her the dates of everything all the operations and so on. The trainee started to take blood and the midwife asked me how old my wee one was. I was speechless, i just said, i had a miscarage. She was there at my scan when the doctor told me what had happened, i mean i don,t expect her to remember me but her and my gp were talking about me the other day when my letter arrived telling them the good news. I thought she would of had at least had read my notes before my appointment. I cold not believe it instead of feeling happy and running home to start reading the books she gave me all i could do was cry my dh thought something had happened.
She said it 12 weeks when you get your next scan and then she said that will be about 4 weeks, she never even asked how far along i was (i'm 10 weeks). My gp said he wished he could of had been there but he a meeting well i wish he had of been.
I trying to forget about it and move on as she is going to be my midwife for the next 7-6 months. i spoke to my friend who had a baby last year and she said that she was very slow and you had to keep on at her. She never got her first scan until 17 weeks so i will give it two weeks and if i don't have a scan date i will be on that phone.

Sorry i have went on a bit but i might sleep better tonite now that i have written it all down.

Helen

[bubblymichelle]

Hi Helen,

These midwives do annoy you at times, at the end of the day if she had taken 5 minutes to read your notes she wouldn't of come out with what she said. The thing is its hard enough dealing with what you had to without her coming out with how old is your little one, some people just annoy me so much I could knock there heads off Try not to let her get to you because she isn't worth it she is just insensitive

Love
Shell.
xx

[fiona_lk]

Hi Helen,

Your midwife should have explained to you that you do not have to remain with her as your primary carer if you do not want to and what to do if this is the case. Have a look in your notes and see if it details it there, if not go back to your GP and ask him. Most midwifes work in teams now

The Patients Charter came about in the late 80's to give patients a greater choice about care and I'm pretty sure this would have been covered. Plus, with all the stuff surrounding Shipman, I doubt anyone is allowed to work independantly anymore.

Hope this helps and let us know what happens, but remember get what you want to feel comfortable, you deserve it!

love Fiona

PS You're not a crime analyst are you?

[fiona_lk]

Helen - Sorry, ignore my last PS, just looked in your profile!