jensrae-
Has you DH test for huntington's been done already? If so when are you expecting the results? If not, when will it be done?
Do you think your DH will change his mind about IVF once he knows the answer? What are his thoughts about the possibility of passing it on to your future kids, I'd like to know more about his perspective.
Lots of Questions..........Please help
SDtrying-my DH's test for Huntingtons is scheduled in another state on June 16th. He forgot to ask how long it takes to get the results but from what I have read, it should be within a week. They typically would make us come back for them, but apparently the social worker told him that they may make an exception and give him his results over the phone since we live so far away.
I think if we get a positive he will change his mind about wanting IVF and will be more accepting of the procedure. He goes back and forth right now. One day it's a good idea, the next he doesn't want to. The easy solution would be to just try and have a child naturally because we both want to be parents so badly but we both know that deep down that can seem a selfish/impulsive decision. Who knows though, it could push him off the deep end and he could refuse to do the IVF to avoid more short-term pain and discomfort.
As far as his thoughts on having kids, if I were to say to him tomm. that I want to do it naturally and not leave the answer/responsiblity of a decision up to him, he would probably be thrilled. He is thinking of the now and will not make comments about the potential for them to have the disease but will only say things like "well there is a 50% chance they won't have it," or "they could die from cancer at a young age," "they could not develop it until their fifties," "I might not even have it, and if I do, should I not have been born?"
As much as I would love to pretend, which is what he would prefer to do, that we are not affected/going to be affected by the disease, it is just not realistic. He is still clinging to that chance he may not have it but I watch him having uncontrollable movements in his head, neck and shoulders on a daily basis, and any positive thought I have is dashed.
He doesn't want to know if he has it. That much I can guarentee. He wants to pretend that his life is normal and he is immortal. He doesn't want to think about the disease, but from what he tells me, he does all day anyway. He reads many books about it, but doesn't want to watch the videos and actually SEE what happens. He can't bear to think of himself that way. I know he is getting that test for me and our kids. He has made comments about having to plan differently for the future, the way that this is going to affect my life long after he is gone, and that he has to tell himself to stop being selfish and think of his future family. But as I have said before, his reaction to the disease as well as his outlook on it, depends on the day & his mood. I think he looks at his sister and cousins who have kids and are pregnant with more, and wonders why we just can't take the same chances they are. But they didn't know before, so they weren't faced with the same choices we are. Maybe they will be in the future, but they aren't right now.
I don't know if this post makes sense at all and feel free to ask any questions you may have.
I think if we get a positive he will change his mind about wanting IVF and will be more accepting of the procedure. He goes back and forth right now. One day it's a good idea, the next he doesn't want to. The easy solution would be to just try and have a child naturally because we both want to be parents so badly but we both know that deep down that can seem a selfish/impulsive decision. Who knows though, it could push him off the deep end and he could refuse to do the IVF to avoid more short-term pain and discomfort.
As far as his thoughts on having kids, if I were to say to him tomm. that I want to do it naturally and not leave the answer/responsiblity of a decision up to him, he would probably be thrilled. He is thinking of the now and will not make comments about the potential for them to have the disease but will only say things like "well there is a 50% chance they won't have it," or "they could die from cancer at a young age," "they could not develop it until their fifties," "I might not even have it, and if I do, should I not have been born?"
As much as I would love to pretend, which is what he would prefer to do, that we are not affected/going to be affected by the disease, it is just not realistic. He is still clinging to that chance he may not have it but I watch him having uncontrollable movements in his head, neck and shoulders on a daily basis, and any positive thought I have is dashed.
He doesn't want to know if he has it. That much I can guarentee. He wants to pretend that his life is normal and he is immortal. He doesn't want to think about the disease, but from what he tells me, he does all day anyway. He reads many books about it, but doesn't want to watch the videos and actually SEE what happens. He can't bear to think of himself that way. I know he is getting that test for me and our kids. He has made comments about having to plan differently for the future, the way that this is going to affect my life long after he is gone, and that he has to tell himself to stop being selfish and think of his future family. But as I have said before, his reaction to the disease as well as his outlook on it, depends on the day & his mood. I think he looks at his sister and cousins who have kids and are pregnant with more, and wonders why we just can't take the same chances they are. But they didn't know before, so they weren't faced with the same choices we are. Maybe they will be in the future, but they aren't right now.
I don't know if this post makes sense at all and feel free to ask any questions you may have.