Heart’s Desire – Finding Strength and Direction from God

[hrobinson]

Yea for the good news. Boo for the bad news. All I can say is pray, pray, pray...God is amazing and always provides.

[IndieBlue]

Thanks Heather I am praying....I just pray that his answer isn't NO.

[kbat]

wish I took menopur or else I would donate it to you. I think that the financial part is so stressful. I'll pray that you come up w/ the money somehow.

I am ovulating, so I guess we'll see what happens.....

[IndieBlue]

Thank you I'm amazed at the number of people on this board and the other board I post on that have replied While most of them don't have any to donate...I know they are all praying for me and that makes me feel better

My husband first took offense to the whole situation, he just shook his head and said "NOPE!!!!" But then he started asking what we could do....we've came this far and we can't just not deal with this. So I'm sure God will provide for us....I'm still sitting here crying though, I'm so tired of these 'surprises' and it scares me about being on stims longer than 12 days...then what will I do

[kbat]

This whole thing is so stressful.... I am one of the few lucky ones who had 6 cycles covered at basically 100% by insurance w/ exception of dr. co-pay and co-pays for the meds. The only reason I did 6 was because of the insurance situation and the only reason I am no continuing w/ IVF is due to the financial constraints--basically can't afford it. Don't really know how you all do it.

I will pray for you for the strength to continue and to find a solution. It's not easy, but in the end most of the time things do work out.

May you find the solutions that you need.

[IndieBlue]

Where is everyone? Praying you are all okay....and things are going well for you this lovely long weekend I'm praying that FedEx delivers my meds tomorrow....I have to be at the doctors office tomorrow at 9 and it's usually an hour appointment and then 2 hours home...so praying I'll be here. I have 2 Menopur to last me tomorrow night, but I'll need them for Wednesday, so please pray that they get here when I'm home and they don't leave them in a nice sunny spot (pretty much our whole yard).

I had a few follicles on Sunday when I went in for my first ultrasound, it was day 4 on stims. Tomorrow of course will be day 6 and I'm hoping and praying that I'll have some larger ones tomorrow. I only had 3-4 on one side and 2-3 on the other and they looked really small compared to my 16mm cyst. Oh well, I'm sure tomorrow will be better With all these meds I have to be producing something...right.

Well, gotta get in bed for the long drive tomorrow. It's supposed to be raining, and it's my first solo trip...so again, please pray for me

And give me some updates ladies....I'm lonely LOL

[sonu911]

Indieblue - Wow....you seem to be almost there. 2-3 on one side and 3-4 on the other, its absolutely a decent progress, still there is a lot of time. You will be amazed to see how these magic follicles grow big and strong with each day!! I am praying for you.
Solo drive...wow!! I also drive for all my appointments mostly on my own. Sometimes DH accompany me, especially on those crucial days...

Kbat - I really pray that this long weekend would have already created some magic within you. Hope you had a relaxing weekend.

Hrobinson - yippee!!!....its a holiday time!! Hope your cycle is going smoothly. Have you already had your u/s?

I have started with Primolut (Norethisterone) which regulates the AF since 24/05 and have appointment tomorrow. I will hopefully start down regging by this weekend. I can't understand what is happening to me...feeling very lonely and numb for this cycle. I always have to make an effort to pull myself out of the depression. I have started going for long walks in the morning with my DH which is helping me a lot.
Since my last cycle I have a lot of fat (??) accumulated around my belly. Is it ok to do sit ups now in order to get rid of it??

Hogs and prayers for all!!

[IndieBlue]

Sonu I know what you mean....I've had to take off my wedding bands because I'm just bloated. We walk 3 1/2 miles 3 times a week though, it really really helps me get out of my depressed mood and pass the time. We walk here locally in a national park, so we see deer crossing in front of us on the path, hear woodpeckers in the trees and smell honeysuckle as we walk...you really can't get better than that LOL Oh and last week it started raining, just a slight drizzle with no thunder or lightening and I just kept walking....I enjoyed it! I would stay away from sit ups though.

Today's U/S went okay I guess. I have a lining that measured 7.8 or so and on one side the follicles she measured were 10, 9 and four 6's and on the other they were 10, and several 7's. So again...kind of slow but she said she'd call me tonight with the b/w results to let me know if I needed to change meds or anything. With the study I know there are not a whole lot of options when upping dosages, so praying I'm not maxed out quite yet if I need to up them. Then again, maybe I'm going at a decent pace? This is day 6....but it really was day 5 this morning since I take all my meds at night.

[hrobinson]

Indie- Sounds like things are going really well. How was the drive today? Wasn't today the first time driving yourself? That alone can cause extra stress.
I am praying that your follies grow big and strong and that you have a successful cycle.

Sonu- I hope you start feeling better soon. I know how hard it is sometimes to stay positive when it has been so hard for us from the beginning. Will pray that God gives you lots of PMA before you actually start "trying".
That is really sweet that you and dh are going for long walks in the morning. That is such a great way to talk, and exercise and just marvel at all the wonderful things God has given us. I am envious of you.

kbat- Hoping that you had a REALLY GOOD weekend

As for me, I am a little worried. I talked to my clinic last week about my meds, and they assured me that all I would need was estrace, and progesterone. They told me to call on the first day of AF. Well, I kept telling them that AF would start on Sunday. They said to just call on Monday. Well, AF showed on Sunday, but of course it was a holiday on Monday, so here I am on day 3 of my cycle and still haven't started the meds, because they haven't called them in yet. Do you guys think I will have to wait another month to start this?

[IndieBlue]

Heather I think I'd be bugging them to death LOL I had to call my nurse twice to get her to fax my meds in, she said she did once but somehow it got lost? Anyhow, I'd call them again....you don't need to wait another month unless they told you that there was some reason you had to?

As far as the drive, I took my oldest son with me and it was nice. Someone to talk to and help me watch out for trucks with retreads falling off.....every trip we've seen atleast 1....dangerous drive. Today it was 1 retread and 1 milk crate LOL

The RE's nurse called and said that she wants to see me back for Friday and she upped my GonalF to 300 from 225, left my Menopur at 150 and my Lupron at 5. Praying I still make the estimated ER date of 6/2 I have 3 boxes of GonalF 450iu left, and luckily they overfill them to about 650/675....plus the one I just mixed yesterday so that gives me about 7 shots left....so again, pray that I won't need anymore of that stuff.

[hrobinson]

Okay, fumin' mad...on the verge of tears....I talked to the dr. office like 3 days last week to let them know that AF was going to be here on Sunday. They told me fine, just make sure to call them when she showed up and they would call my meds in. So, called Sunday...heard nothing from them...called Monday (holiday) so heard nothing from them...called TWICE today and they finally called me back. Said that since I am on day 3 of the cycle most likely we will have to put it off another month. I snapped back at the lady and told her that I had told them several times that AF would be here Sunday. She said ya, but there was nothing they could do at this point and she would call the dr. and see what he said.
So, looks like we are having to put everything off for a month. I am SOOOO MAD!!!
If I would have had their home numbers I would have called them at home to let them know that AF had started.
What to do, what to do!!!

[Hope644]

Hi Ladies -

Heather - I'm so sorry!!! I am right there with ya, hon... I can't believe they put you off after all your attempts at telling them and now they're like "oops, whatever" - that's the kind of indifference that I've seen from time to time at my RE's that really ticks me!!! Sure, it's no big deal for them - not their bodies, their tmt or their lives!!! I'm really sorry hon, but please remember that God's timing is perfect and He uses all things together for good.

Sonu - I know what u mean about those extra tmt lbs - I began my last tmt 18 lbs above my starting weight. and I'm just going up from there... not fun. But I'm so glad to hear you are getting going with a new tmt soon!! Keep that PMA and worry about the lbs LATER!

Indie - I totally know what you mean about slow going - my 1st two rounds, I had to reduce meds because I responded too well - with the last one I had to re-order meds 4 times!!! I was so glad that the pharmacy I'd used gives you free Gonal-F on your 3rd round (though I quickly began paying for it, as they do have a limit to the "FREE" amount they'll give you) - but it's seriously not fun to have to keep ordering more meds due to slow response. BUT - keep the faith that you do have a response and you're going to get there with lots of lovely follies!! YAY! Doin' the follie dance for you, hon!!

Hi to everyone else - sorry to make this quick. I'm home sick today felt great yesterday for the first time in 6 weeks, but today I'm paying double time. I think I ate too much fruit yesterday, feeling good and got carried away. Oh well. Tomorrow is 13 weeks exactly so I'll be officially out of the 1st Trimester! Now if the M/S would just realize that! We had our Nuchal Translucency scan on Friday (5/23/08) and everything was good. We got to see our little one moving around, sucking his fingers, playing with the umblicial cord and stretching out! It was so cool. I'm posting scans on the Awaiting Treatment Part 2 thread if anyone is interested in seeing. We were at 12w2d and he (we think it's a he) measured 13w1d, so he's growing like a little weed. Oh, and I wore my new maternity bathing suit this weekend! (Thinking it was going to be a little loose, since I bought it a week before and it was loose then - but uh, no... I'm already filling it out quite nicely... and I'm not even really in the 4th month yet!! - Looking more like 5 mo already!!) WOW. He is a big one!

Hugs to you all - praying for you daily...

[kbat]

hrobinson--I would be upset too. I think it's so inconsiderate. Last clinic I was at, I totally didn't like my nurse. I went into the e/r and the night before the e/t she was supposed to call me--I also called several times then started calling and leaving meassages for whoever. Finally I had to page the on call nurse who told me that there wasn't going to be an e/t. I don't know how they can mess up so badly when they know what's at sake. I guess for them it's no big deal, but for us it is a big deal....

Did what I was supposed to do and still going to acupuncturist. I am trying to keep open mind about this whole tcm thing, but I am not being too optimistic--don't get me wrong, it's still better than doing nothing, but I've tried naturally so many times w/ no result, just wondering how effective this is. I'll see if I get af next week and if I do, I will continue doing this through one more af. Then it's time to move on. W/ the way prices are all away around, don't know if I can continue to do acupuncture when the extra $200/month would come in handy.

Indie--hope your med situation gets better. It's kind of stressful. My pharmacy was here in RI and about a 20 min drive. Even though they would overnight them to me w/ lots of stuff to keep it cold, it was always nice to know that I could take a drive up there if I had to (they weren't open on week-ends), but sometimes you don't know what the RE's will do, so I had a "fallback".

[hrobinson]

Well, I am headed off to bed, but I wanted to give everyone an update. The nurse talked to the dr. and he said that it was okay starting my meds on day 3 instead of day 1. He said that we would go ahead and continue with the cycle. I explained to the nurse that I did not want this cycle comprimised so if it was better to wait until next month then that is what I would do. She said no, my cycle would not be compromised at all. So, help me ladies....I guess the estrace is supposed to help thicken my lining. How thick should my lining be to be considered good? I want to go in with answers/questions so that if I don't feel comfortable with the way things are, I can make the call to postpone a cycle. I would rather do that than waste my money....and eggs.
I go in for my US and bw on June 6th, then my transfer on June 9th.
Please lord, help this be the one.

Thanks ladies for all your prayers and support.

[Hope644]

I will be praying this works for you hrob. I am very pleased that they are going to let you go ahead with this round. I really don't think they would let you go ahead if they thought this would negatively affect your chances.

As far as lining goes - Nikki can probably help more in that area - but as I recall, her lining was a bit thin in this last FET and they were considering cancelling, but they went ahead with it even thin and it resulted in her BFP. I think it was around 7?? Nikki, help us!

Anyway, as we all know - God's ways are perfect. I am learning to trust in Him more through this every day. He loves to take imperfect situations and create enormous blessings from them so that we know from where it came. Nikki's BFP is a perfect example and mine was too - I had the least amount of egg response I'd ever had this round and only 4 fertilized. I was scared that with that few embies that I would not likely have a good one to implant... God had other plans and He does for you too, sweetie. Don't worry about the details of the process - even when the doctors and the nurses say "not ideal" or whatever - God doesnt' use perfect people for His glory and He doesn't require perfect circumstances to create blessings. Praying this is your time!!!