When is it safe?

[cookinggirl]

I have officially received a BNP report. We have no told a sole that we had undergone IVF treatments. Now we are very excited and not sure when it is safe to even tell our families. We are hoping to keep this a secret and some how convince everyone that we got pregnant on our own.
So, when do you think it would be safe to tell just our family? At what point do you go back to your OB? Do you think I should wait until we make it to that stage
Secondly, I am a twin. If I am pregnant with twins how realistic is it that we got pregnant with twins naturally?

[sugabeanzs]

I do know that only fraternal twins are what runs in families. So that is what is passed down from generation to generation; not identical. Also, you dont have to tell anyone you did IVF if you do not want to. Most people tell everyone they are preggers around 3 months just to get out of the clear. I told my family as soon as I knew so it really is up to you on that factor. I went to my reg. OB at 8 weeks but some IVFers dont do so until almost 11 or 12 weeks. Depends on your IVF place. I also did not have to do progesterone after we got the ultrasound at 6 weeks (where we found out we were having twins). Twins run in my family (both identical and fraternal) so people who I dont want to tell we did IVF I just say they run in the family and that satisfies people. Do what your heart desires!

[riogirl71]

It is up to you when you tell, some family we told our BFP then others we waited. The RE said that chances of miscarriage are low when you see the heartbeat, even lower at 10 weeks and then minimal at 12 weeks. We waited to tell everyone else until after 12 weeks when we thought we were "safe"
Congratulations!!!

[tryw8]

cookinggirl:

Congratulations on your BFP! I'd say it would be up to you when you want to tell your family. I've had a friend that went to the IVF process the same time as I did. She told everyone and anyone at the first news of her BFP. Sadly to say, she had a miscarriage the week after.

As for my DH and I, my OB/GYN told us not to tell anyone when we found out @ week 7. My OB/GYN waited until my week 19 (4 1/2 months along) when congenital tests came back that I wasn't carrying a baby with Down Syndrome.

Karen

[beccatx]

cookinggirl:

Congratulations! It is a very personal choice when you tell your family...mine all knew we were doing IVF (and SIL had gone through it too), so they knew as soon as we got out first +beta (I did keep hpt results to myself andf DH) I told them not to tell people outside the family until after we had doubling betas & sonogram etc. Here's what you have to consider- if something really sad happened and there was a loss, would you tell them that? If it's someone you would share that news with, then knowing you are pregnant now seems right to me. HOW you got pregnant is your business and doesn't need to be shared at all unless you wish to.

Good luck!

[beachbaby]

Hi, Congratulations
We had told no one we were doing IVF, except my mum so she knew straight away. Everyone else we told at 10 weeks because it was christmas, otherwise we wouuld have waited for the 12 week mark to pass as we have had miscarraiges previously. We also told my In-laws about the IVF at this time. We are having twins and have just said its been in the family in previous generations (which it has), this satisfies most people, if they want to gossip its their choice as far as i am concerned its nobodys business how we conceived.

[cookinggirl]

Thank you for all of your feedback. I have a big mouth so keeping everything a secret for everyone is very hard for me. So I think we are going to tell our parents next week after the first U/S. The rest of the family will find out later. Thank you!

I have one more question...
I had my second beta test today. When should I except for the RE to tell me how far along I am? I have done my own research online but have had contradicting results. If I do it based upon my last period (April 27th) I am 5W 1 day. If I do it based upon the date of the ER (May 16th) I am 4 weeks 3 days.

[TammyS]

Going by the IVF calculator that they have on here under resources...left column...I get Feb 5th. My doc gave me an est due date based on size at 6 weeks...and was 3 days later than the actual due date based on the day of fertilization. I like to argue with them about this at every appt. LOL

[Mellie_1233]

As I understand, the baby's size should measure from the date of ER. But just ask the dr to be sure. Also, when you have your first u/s they'll give you a due date based on the size at that point in time. My little one measured 2 days smaller than what he/she would've based on my ER date so my due date is 2 days later than the one I initially calculated based on ER. At my clinic a couple of days either way didn't seem to matter but each clinic will have their own criteria.

As for telling people, we guarded the fact that we were having IVF carefully when we were going through it. Only a handful of people knew. We didn't want the added pressure of people asking all the time if we were pregnant. The few people who knew we were doing IVF found out as soon as we took the HPT. Others found out after the 12 week u/s and bloodwork showed a healthy baby.

Now that we're safely pregnant, I've been very honest with everyone about having done IVF b/c I remember how hard it was not knowing anyone else who had gone through it. One friend who found out we did IVF has contacted me to discuss her own fertility probs and I've been so happy to be useful to her. Some people have actually said "what's IVF?" But, as others have said, it's a personal decision and completely up to you whether or not you want to tell anyone how you became pregnant. It's nobody's business so you have to do what feels right to you.

Congratulations!