Heart’s Desire – Finding Strength and Direction from God

[nicaliw]

Hope, it sounds like the expeience of Sassy passing couldn't have been any better. What a wonderful caring family she has and what a beautiful way to go. I am sure the pain and grief is deep and will take some time. You are in my thoughts.

Indie......like everyone has already said, hang in there, please don't give up hope. I know it is hard to see those dang strips and believe in them but your beta will tell the true story. I am praying for you.

Sonu.....I am so glad your follies are doing well. Do you know about how many you have? Not long til your ER now.

Heather.....when do you do your beta? it must be soon, I can't wait to hear. How are you feeling? Are you staying away from pee sticks?

nothing new for me, just plodding along happily pregnant, I can't wait to have a big pregnant belly

[sonu911]

Hope ~ I am so sorry that you had to go through this but I am sure Sassy must be up there watching you and your mother through the clouds and showering her blessings. I am also quite sure that you will support your mother like a dotting daughter as your are. May God help you and your family through this difficult time. Nothing can suffice her absence but as they say time is a great healer.
I am sure Sassy will never like her granddaughter to be sad.


((((HUGS))))

[Hope644]

Angel, Carolyn, Indie, Nikki, & Sonu ~



You all have been such dears to me in so many ways. I cannot thank you enough for your genuine support and love. I feel your hugs and your prayers are so very much appreciated.

May God bless you all with sweet, caring friends who show you the same sincere comforting and support with which you have blessed me... thank you so much.

Even if we never meet on this earth, I look forward to the beautiful day when we meet in Paradise and I can introduce you all to the incredible woman who blessed my life so richly on this earth, my dear grandmother, Sassy. She is now rejoicing with my grandfather and all the others who have gone before her as Heaven has brought another one of His children Home... what an amazing image that is!! Though I grieve her loss here, I must rejoice in the knowledge that I will see her again and that she is Home with the Lord, where she has been blessed to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant"

[IndieBlue]

Hope, I'm so glad that you feel that way and know you'll see her again one day. We had a funeral for my husband's uncle tonight and tomorrow and it's just so sad for us....but you want to rejoice for them. What a wonderful wonderful homecoming they must receive.....wouldn't we love to see what they see when they are welcomed home.

[IndieBlue]

Just a small update on me. Today was my birthday....(thank you, thank you...LOL, taking my bow). So of course, we had the funeral and I decided I wasn't up to going out to eat or anything (plus I bought myself a new purse last week LOL) so after our morning walk I came home and cleaned the house and we sat around till we had to be at the funeral home for the viewing/family visitation. I've been cramping pretty badly all day, in my back too so I knew AF was coming. Right before we walked out the door I felt that warm feeling you can not mistake LOL So I got to the restroom and it was bloody cm? Really thin and pinkish? I figured it's probably being pretty watered down by the progesterone?

So anyhow, threw on a pad (can't wear tampons in the study) and headed off to the funeral home. Got home and it's non existent? I felt cm at the funeral home though....so I guess it's cleared up a bit? Anyone experience this? I would LOVE to think it was late implantation bleeding but I'm not even going to go there LOL

So I'm going to log the bleeding on my bleeding log and carry on till Wednesday I suppose. Maybe it'll be a full AF tomorrow. Just pray for me and a clear direction from God. My husband and me are already going back on our 'this is our one and only chance' and thinking of trying to find another study in the next year.....what are we doing!!!!!

[sonu911]

Indie - Many Happy returns of the day!!! God bless you with all that you want in life....

Like I said before, I am praying, dear for you....you just stay positive and think that its happening.

Hope ~ what a wonderful thought!!! its , indeed such a warm feeling. When I lost my baby a month back, I had the same comforting feeling that one day I will meet my baby somewhere up there. and also felt that I have not lost him/her but our meeting is delayed by a few years.

(((((Hugs)))))

[IndieBlue]

Just wanted to drop in and say that I have enjoyed chatting with you ladies over the last 6 months but sadly it's over for me Just as I'd thought....yesterday's blood was the beginning of AF breaking through. She's here in full force this morning, so looks like my little embabies didn't make it I'm sad of course....I just KNEW that God was in this. He only gave us the amount of embabies we needed, we had none left to freeze, he even came through when I had to order more meds. Sadly, that is where the miracles stopped. I really really pray he still has a baby in our future, but I have to move on since we don't have the money to do this again and no frosties.

So again, praying for you all and now I'm going to take a break from the boards since I won't be going through this again unless the funds appear out of nowhere and then again, I just don't know if I can do all this again knowing that the outcome may be the same.

Thanks again for all the prayers and support, I will continue to pray for you all and your journey's as well.

[mrsfarro]

Hello Sisters!! I'm in my second IVF. I am pregnant, but the heartbeat is weak and fetus is a week behind in development. It looks like this will be my third M/C in a row. My RE has told me my eggs are genetically impaired and my odds of having a healthy pregnancy are less than 1%. I pray for comfort and I ask God for signs of His plan for me. I have been thru so much heartache in the past 3 yrs, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Although I feel defeated, my heart is still open and my faith is still intact. I pray that you all receive God's comfort and grace as we go on this journey together.

[kbat]

indieblue--so sorry to hear that you are at the end of your line. It's sooo tough to realize when you can't continue any longer. I too am pretty much at the end of the line. I am ovulating again and figured this would be my last time. I kind of figured it wouldn't work, but wasn't quite ready to give up. I do pray for you and the rest of the girls on this site. People have been so awesome.

I know it's hard, but I also know that God must have something special for us in mind.

God bless

[nicaliw]

indie, I am SO sorry, I don't think there are any words that I can type that will make you feel better. I wish there was something I could do or say to change the outcome for you, you must be so sad. The dissapointment after all we go through to get this far is overwhelming. is there no chance you might find another study? I know CCRM do studies all the time. My thoughts are with you.....I hope God brings you peace and understanding.

[Hope644]

Indie -



We had all so hoped that this would work for you. Though it didn't result in the outcome we had hoped, God was at work in your life. I pray that He will bless you richly... praying that another study comes along and this time it will be different. Please try to stay positive and keep your eyes focused on Him. He does have a perfect plan and purpose for your life. Trust in Him. I know that is hard to focus on now, as I have been there myself. I just pray for comfort and peace for you. I hope you will come back to visit us... ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

kbat - I pray that the TCM will work for you also. It saddens me to read the disappointment in your post. I pray for comfort and peace for you also. Stay positive, though - it only takes one time.

mrsfarro - welcome to our board. It is always nice to hear from another Sister who is walking the IVF journey. I am praying for your pregnancy, but if it does not work out, I do pray for peace and comfort for you also. M/C is a very hard thing to go through, as you well know. I'm sorry you have had to suffer this so many times. Thank you, though, so much, for your encouragement even in the midst of your own struggle. Are you going to do a 3rd round of IVF? Come back to visit us.

To all the others out there... praying that God shines his face upon you and brings you the needs and desires of your heart.

Much love..........
Hope

[mrsfarro]

Hope-
Thank you so much for your kindness. I'm not sure about the 3rd attempt. I go to the doctor on Thursday to see if there are any changes. The IVF really takes a toll on my body. Last year after ER I became severely dehydrated and was in the hospital for 5 days. I was really sick.
I produce a ridiculous amount of eggs. (I average about 30). But they deteriorate quickly. My sister has offered to donate eggs. My family is such a blessing. My husband's support is unwavering. I felt like a failure because I felt I couldnt give him a biological child. He told me that he loves me and a child would be icing on the cake. He sees what Ive been thru and he doesnt want to see me hurt anymore. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. It gives me strength to see I am not alone on this rollercoaster. Its funny, the first thing people say to me is "I dont understand why God lets this happen" I admit I am often confused myself but I always feel God's presence. I just hope that I can find a sign if I will ever have a child of my own or should I consider adoption? Thank you for your prayers and I wish you and all of us on this journey many blessings!!

[hrobinson]

Hope we are so glad to have you back. I am sorry to hear about Grandma Sassy's passing. It is never easy no matter how ready you think you are. You are such a wise woman to know that you will see her again someday. Just know, that while she wants you to grieve briefly, I am sure she would not want you to grieve for long.
I am so sorry about what your mother is going through. it sounds like your whole family is so close. We will pray that God helps her get through this.

Indie- Oh sweetie, my heart is breaking for you. I really thought this was your time. Remember though that there is a reason for everything. You have such strong faith in the Lord and I commend you for this. Hopefully God will provide you with another study sometime soon.

Mrs. Farro- I am sorry that your little one seems to be struggling so much. We will keep you in our prayers as well. One thing to remain positive about is that you ARE capable of becoming pregnant. Did you get pregnant with the first round of IVF?
I think several of s have said that we won't do IVF again, yet we are drawn to it. I hope that He leads you down the path that he wants you to go in.

kbat- I too am sorry to read how down you seem to be. I hope that the TCM is working.

Nothing to report about myself I have not yet POAS...won't do that for a few more days....Saturday...maybe. I am feeling pretty positive about this cycle. I will be devestated if it doesn't work...as we all always are.
I must say that I am very frustrated with my clinic as I have called them three times now to ask about my one egg left over and they have yet to return my phone call. This is not like them, but very unprofessional if you ask me.

[kbat]

mrsfarro--welcome to the board. I am sorry that you are going through what you've been through, but I do hope and pray all will work out for you.

I am finally looking to move on w/ my life. I know that there's many more things worse than what I am going through, so I will count the blessings I do have instead of focusing on what I don't and can't have.

[IndieBlue]

Today's BETA was less than 5, so I go in Monday for my 'final' visit. I really really prayed that today would have turned out to be a miracle but sadly I'm left wondering what went wrong, and why God let me get this far only to face such harsh disappointment. I'm so afraid to go through another cycle....afraid of the financial strain, facing the same outcome and just the whole emotional rollercoaster.

I guess only time will heal and I'll continue to pray that God had me walk through this valley to get to a bigger promise on the other side.

I'm still praying for all of you....and I pray that you all get your BFP's and beautiful babies You all have been a great circle of friends and support over this whole thing....and always had the answers to my crazy questions so again, THANK YOU!!!

Faith