Hi everyone, I am really struggling to come to terms with my latest m/c (have had 1 ectopic and 2 m/c in the last year). I feel really negative about everything most of the time - I don't want to see friends, don't want to go to work in the morning, and generally just want the ground to open up and swallow me.
I had one session with a counsellor a couple of weeks ago and I found that helped a little - I am booked in to see them again next week. I hate feeling like this - but I just can't seem to shake of this really sad feeling - I cry if I think about it and at the moment just feel that it will never work out for us.
Sorry to post such a negative message - I am hoping that maybe someone can give me some advice as to how I can get back to my old self again.
Love
Dolly
Me 38 / DH 40. TTC 8 yrs
3 natural pg - 2 ectopics and 1 miscarriage
2nd IVF +ve but miscarried
1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th IVF all -ve
Moved to the ARGC.
Just started for the 7th time (!) Feb/March 2006.
Hi Dolly
I'm so sorry to read your post....I too had a m/c last year and after going through the tmt I just couldn't believe how could anything be so cruel. I think that it is good that you saw an cousellor and seeing them again...the one thing that has really helped me is seeing an accupuncturist....although it is about the needles, I have got a great girl who I see, Mel at Oeuf in Queen's Park, and she is such a great listener and gives such solid advice - it has really helped me tremendously.
With your history I think that it would be worth asking the hospital if they can run any tests and see why this has happened again. I'm not sure how many time you have to m/c for them to do this....but I would definitely look into this.
Treat yourself to something really extravagant really soon - perhaps a spa day or some serious shopping....you deserve a pick-me-up.
I'm sending you lots of love and a HUGE cyber hug. Tomorrow will be a better day and the day after than better again.
Love, Michelle
Am sorry to hear you are feeling this way what a terrible year you have had i don't know what to say to you have a real good cry hun let it all out and get loads of chocs and wine really spoil yourself go on a massive shopping spree and spend loads this won't take the pain away but it may help a little
all my thoughts are with you heres a big hug for you to
((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Dolly
Sorry to hear your feeling so down and there is nothing really anyone can say to make the hurt go away. All I can tell you is that my cousin had 4 M/C before having their little boy and another 5 before having their little girl so try and be positive altough 3 in 1 year is hard to take! Are you having any tests?? Do you think you will try another go or will you try naturally? Whatever you decide we are here with you.
Oh Dolly first of all here is a
[{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
1 Lots of Retail therapy
2 set some goals you would like to acheive this year
3 Pamper yourself ,perhaps a spa day , massage , Facial
4 Book a holiday to give you something to look forward to
5 Get a Pet!!! even if its a frog!!! or a fish!!!
Sorry you feel CRAP , wish I could give you some of my over the head feeling but Im sure one day mine will run out and I will be right down there with you . You will get through this cause we will help you .
LUVS YA
Trace x
1st cycle own eggs Neg
2nd cycle own eggs Neg
3rd cycle cousins eggs Neg
4th cycle unknown donor eggs Neg
Going to have sisters eggs Feb 06
NEVER GIVE UP!
Its horrible to read your feeling so down, I send you one special hug ************** HUGS ******************* I hope you wil be feeling better soon, just remember we are all here for you.
I dont' know where to start but hope I can be of some help! I had an ectopic pregnancy back in 1996 and was told IVf was my only option - have not been on contraception since and have now decided the time is right to go for treatment. All I can say to you is that I am 33years old and time is on my side but if it's not meant to be for me then I have accepted that fact already - I don't feel it's a negative thing but more one of "not putting my eggs all in one basket" - I try and not let my emotions take over however I am about to start ICSI treatment at end of Feb and I may be telling a different story soon .......... However I have made holiday plans etc for November in case ICSI doesn't work this time and this will give me something to focus on - I don't want to get to a point where I have nothing if my result comes back negative - mind games probably but I feel it helps.
Try and stay positive ... I'm sure it can be difficult - but I'll tell you a story of a girl I work with who had 4 attempts at ICSI over 4 years - gave up and decided on adoption, went on holiday and came back preggars!! There's always hope Dolly.
Anyway, hope you are feeling better and you keep your chin up (book that holiday to Barbados)!
I was wondering how you were getting on and I am so sorry you are feeling so down. You have been through a really $hite time last year and you really do deserve some happiness. I am sending you a massive hug and I hope things start to look a bit brighter for you soon.
Keep the faith Dolly and be strong. We are all here for you and think of you often. You and Beckym are on my mind quite a bit. take extra special care of yourself and your DH.
Hi Dolly,
I just wanted to say hi and that I am feeling the same, sometimes that helps doesn't it!
I had 2 ICSI m/c last year, the last one at Xmas and I remember your posts and what happened to you.
I too have been seeing a counsellor, sometimes my DH comes along. We are finding it useful, particulalry as my confidence has hit rock bottom at the moment and like you I don't want to see friends either.
It doesn't help that our closest friends had a baby girl last week and can't seem to get the message that we don't want to go and see them! Well they will just have to wait, we are looking after ourselves at the moment and will see them in our own good time.
I don't know if you have a pet at all? We have wanted a dog for ages but put it off because of all my trips to London for treatment. Well we decided that we just had to have something to get excited about and something to love so we are getting a puppy in 2 weeks time and I feel positive about that decision.
It would be nice to talk again as we are in a similiar frame of mind!!
Hi Rach
Sorry to but in on your post Dolly, but about 6 weeks ago we got a labrador puppy and I can't tell you how much better it has made us both feel. I've never had a dog before so it really is a learning curve, he is really gorgeous and sweet ...though a little too playful at times...and I would never be without him now.....plus we also have to walk him, and as I'm dead lazy this is a new found exercise!
Love, Michelle
Our darling son Jake was born in October 2004 on our 3rd IVF attempt. I have PCOS. We're now trying again naturally, before embarking on our next FET IVF possibly late 2005... so watch this space!!!
hi dolly, i am so sorry to hear how you're feeling. it is a really difficult time, and really difficult to pull out of. last july the doctor told me no iui and no more ivf. i can't tell you how low and hopeless i felt, but then you probably know without me even saying it.
how did i get through? i couldn't accept that we could not have children, i'd been pregnant 3 times before. i read everything i could about reproduction, fertility, complementary therapies, assisted conception developments in other countries and was just making the decision about going overseas for treatment and/or finding a uk clinic that pushed out the boundaries. all that said i found it so hard to face every day and people that i'm really close too.
dolly i don't have a formula that i can give you to make it easier but don't give up. you can conceive. my accupuncturist said as well as conception, we needed to work on how to hold the baby in the uterus. he was right, i'd always had early mc's. if you haven't already then why don't you do some research and therapies that focus on that too. what's happening to you body in the early stage,what does the embryo and your body need, is there anything you should do more/less of ?
i wish you everything positive and if i can help in any way then just ask.
Hi Dolly,
you have all my sympathy! I felt like this after my m/c in October last year and i had only one! but it put me through hell and i cannot even imagine what it must be like to have had another. i found i just could not make my peace with the world and was angry with everyone for a while. a colleague had a baby a week after and when the topic came up and she expected a visit i cried and cried and cried. one feels the most miserable person in the world. but it went away, gradually...i found it helped me to see a counsellor only i could not talk to her at the beginning, could not talk to anyone. we went for a trip about a month later (work but also some fun) and that was the fisrt time i forgot for amoment what happened. so travel helps, at least helped me. just being away from everything that reminded me of what happened. i hope you can do this too, take time away from work and do something for yourself.
lots of love and support from me,
juliana
I hope you wil be feeling better soon, just remember we are all here for you.