Hi Dolly
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I had a mc in 2001 at 12weeks, a very early mc in 2002 and an eptopic at 6weeks in 2002. It must be really hard for you and you went through it all in one year. The girls are right you need to have time to yourself and pamper yourself. After my first mc we went on holiday just for a week and i felt abit better but spending time alone with my dh helped. He got them to deliver a lovley bouquet of flowers to our room and i felt loved for the first time in ages.
I went to see a counsilor just the once and she was fantastic. I never went back and sometimes i regret it.
Don't give up hope i didn't and i am 12weeks pg
Helen
I am feeling really down
hi dolly, u have every right to feel the way u do at the moment and it doesnt help being january i always think it is a miserable month.
i think all the girls would love to give u a hug and make the pain go away.
I gather u are going back 3/2 is this for the results of your blood test,
perhaps they might have some answers,at 36 u still have plenty of time,
trust me i was 43 last dec and after 4 ici treatments last year finally
tested +ivte (only 8wks so early days). as phil said have u looked into
accupuncture, i started it on my last attempt, they work on your uterus
preparing it, and the chinese believe in keeping the area warm, making
it a cosier enviroment for the embryo, its worth reading up on.
I know its hard for u at the mom but try and be
positive, at least u know u can get pregnant.
And just remember u have been a great support yourself
to some of the girls on this site.
take care alisonn
i think all the girls would love to give u a hug and make the pain go away.
I gather u are going back 3/2 is this for the results of your blood test,
perhaps they might have some answers,at 36 u still have plenty of time,
trust me i was 43 last dec and after 4 ici treatments last year finally
tested +ivte (only 8wks so early days). as phil said have u looked into
accupuncture, i started it on my last attempt, they work on your uterus
preparing it, and the chinese believe in keeping the area warm, making
it a cosier enviroment for the embryo, its worth reading up on.
I know its hard for u at the mom but try and be
positive, at least u know u can get pregnant.
And just remember u have been a great support yourself
to some of the girls on this site.
take care alisonn
Dear Dolly,
just wanted to add my sympathys ( I had 2mcs following FET last year,at 5.5 weeks) I fell apart for a wee while and thats after only having had our hopes raised for a very short time. I also managed to beg for one counselling session which did help a little. i know its probably the opposite that you want to do but maybe exercise could help a little.I think it helps to raise your mood even if its only temporarily and also might help the flood of hormones to settle down faster and it ll give you the strength to battle on. Obviously only when you feel up to it!!
Any way I hope you feel better soon
love Annie
ps Im sat on my big fat arse reading this site instead of dragging my tired old bones down the gym but i just thought it might be something that could help
just wanted to add my sympathys ( I had 2mcs following FET last year,at 5.5 weeks) I fell apart for a wee while and thats after only having had our hopes raised for a very short time. I also managed to beg for one counselling session which did help a little. i know its probably the opposite that you want to do but maybe exercise could help a little.I think it helps to raise your mood even if its only temporarily and also might help the flood of hormones to settle down faster and it ll give you the strength to battle on. Obviously only when you feel up to it!!
Any way I hope you feel better soon
love Annie
ps Im sat on my big fat arse reading this site instead of dragging my tired old bones down the gym but i just thought it might be something that could help
Hi Dolly,
Sorry to hear your feeling so low - but who can blame you after all you've been through. Try not to be too hard on yourself and just give yourself time - things will get better.
I was really low after my 3rd tmt failed - was off work and on antidepressants, then I lost my mam, nana and gran within 8 weeks of each other. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse my brother dropped down died at 31 years of age with an heridiatry heart condition!!! Months of tests showed I hadn't inherited it. Then a year later I had a m/c after 6th tmt. That was really my lowest point. But given time and excellent support from DH and friends I began to feel normal again - something I feared I never would. And after a few more failed tmt's I'm now 23 weeks pg.
So I can completely understand your despondency but there is still hope and one day soon you will feel well again.
Take care,
Di xxxxxxx
Sorry to hear your feeling so low - but who can blame you after all you've been through. Try not to be too hard on yourself and just give yourself time - things will get better.
I was really low after my 3rd tmt failed - was off work and on antidepressants, then I lost my mam, nana and gran within 8 weeks of each other. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse my brother dropped down died at 31 years of age with an heridiatry heart condition!!! Months of tests showed I hadn't inherited it. Then a year later I had a m/c after 6th tmt. That was really my lowest point. But given time and excellent support from DH and friends I began to feel normal again - something I feared I never would. And after a few more failed tmt's I'm now 23 weeks pg.
So I can completely understand your despondency but there is still hope and one day soon you will feel well again.
Take care,
Di xxxxxxx
Hi Dolly, my old cycle buddy. I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down. As DH often says to me, its not surprising that we're depressed sometimes when life is being such a complete *****!
I'm not a religious person at all, but try to take some comfort in believing that whatever is meant to be will be. For me after 6 tmts I think that means not having children, but for you it could mean success one day, and I really hope that it does. The other thing I think that its helpful to remember is that there's nothing you could have done differently that would have prevented your ectopic or m/cs - none of this is your fault. And while there are things that help some people through the tmt, if it doesn't work then that's not your fault either - its just how its supposed to be.
You're a strong woman to have come this far, and you'll have the strength to move on to whatever is next. In the meantime there are bound to be days when you're feeling down, and we're all here for you when they come. With much love
Alison xx
I'm not a religious person at all, but try to take some comfort in believing that whatever is meant to be will be. For me after 6 tmts I think that means not having children, but for you it could mean success one day, and I really hope that it does. The other thing I think that its helpful to remember is that there's nothing you could have done differently that would have prevented your ectopic or m/cs - none of this is your fault. And while there are things that help some people through the tmt, if it doesn't work then that's not your fault either - its just how its supposed to be.
You're a strong woman to have come this far, and you'll have the strength to move on to whatever is next. In the meantime there are bound to be days when you're feeling down, and we're all here for you when they come. With much love
Alison xx
Thank you
Hi girls,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all your lovely replies. They have really helped. I am feeling better today than I have in a long time. I have my follow-up on Tuesday and I am actually beginning to look forward to our next treatment.
You have made me realise that there is hope and people have been through far worse and survived. I just have to stop dwelling on the past, stop thinking I am in someway to blame and focus on what the future might hold.
Love to everyone
Dolly
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all your lovely replies. They have really helped. I am feeling better today than I have in a long time. I have my follow-up on Tuesday and I am actually beginning to look forward to our next treatment.
You have made me realise that there is hope and people have been through far worse and survived. I just have to stop dwelling on the past, stop thinking I am in someway to blame and focus on what the future might hold.
Love to everyone
Dolly
Me 38 / DH 40. TTC 8 yrs
3 natural pg - 2 ectopics and 1 miscarriage
2nd IVF +ve but miscarried
1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th IVF all -ve
Moved to the ARGC.
Just started for the 7th time (!) Feb/March 2006.
3 natural pg - 2 ectopics and 1 miscarriage
2nd IVF +ve but miscarried
1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th IVF all -ve
Moved to the ARGC.
Just started for the 7th time (!) Feb/March 2006.
Thats a girl Dolly you can do it , really glad you are feeling better , Its really scarey when you feel crap cause you never feel like its gonna end.Hey Dolly,
You're not alone, the women on this site are incredibly supportive, and nothing anyone will say will take away the pain, but I know that you have to just get through each day. I had my m/c in November last year, was horrendous, my best friend is pregnant via IVF, and I'm so happy for her, but its like a knife in my heart as well, I just get so so sad. My only advice is to set short term goals, get through each day and then celebrate that you got through it. Hold onto that dh of yours, he sounds sweet, and appreciate the beauty in the world. My counsellor recommended a wonderful book called "Resiliance" by Anne Deveson, its an Australian book, basically exploring human strength, gave me a lot of hope and more of a sense of getting through it rather than being lost in it.
Keep positive
Belinda
You're not alone, the women on this site are incredibly supportive, and nothing anyone will say will take away the pain, but I know that you have to just get through each day. I had my m/c in November last year, was horrendous, my best friend is pregnant via IVF, and I'm so happy for her, but its like a knife in my heart as well, I just get so so sad. My only advice is to set short term goals, get through each day and then celebrate that you got through it. Hold onto that dh of yours, he sounds sweet, and appreciate the beauty in the world. My counsellor recommended a wonderful book called "Resiliance" by Anne Deveson, its an Australian book, basically exploring human strength, gave me a lot of hope and more of a sense of getting through it rather than being lost in it.
Keep positive
Belinda
Hi Traci and Belinda,
One of our closest friends is due to have a baby at the same time that ours would have been due and I think that is one of the reasons I am finding this so difficult. I am delighted for them (they also had their fair share of problems) but it is just a constant reminder of what could have been.
Thanks for your support
Love
Dolly
One of our closest friends is due to have a baby at the same time that ours would have been due and I think that is one of the reasons I am finding this so difficult. I am delighted for them (they also had their fair share of problems) but it is just a constant reminder of what could have been.
Thanks for your support
Love
Dolly
Me 38 / DH 40. TTC 8 yrs
3 natural pg - 2 ectopics and 1 miscarriage
2nd IVF +ve but miscarried
1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th IVF all -ve
Moved to the ARGC.
Just started for the 7th time (!) Feb/March 2006.
3 natural pg - 2 ectopics and 1 miscarriage
2nd IVF +ve but miscarried
1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th IVF all -ve
Moved to the ARGC.
Just started for the 7th time (!) Feb/March 2006.