JANUARY 2009 BABIES

[TinNotts]

Hello everyone,

Well I've had a mixed day. Had my u/s this morning and was all happy - baby seemed all normal, heart beating, did a little somersault, touched its face - very exciting to see. Hadn't seen it since the 7 week 'blob' so it was great and I was beaming and looking at the pictures.

They did the nuchal fold translucency test and then we went into see the screening nurse who said that we have a higher than average risk of Down's syndrome for my age and I got really upset and cried.

Apparently average risk for my age is 1/343 and mine was 1/204. It's still 99.5% chance that it's not D/S, but they offer amnio for everyone over 1/250 and it just got really depressing to start talking about it after the joy of seeing the baby for the first time.

I mean, if the ivf clinic had said there's a 99.5% chance you'll get pregnant, we'd have thought it was a dead cert. Somehow when the figures are round the other way, they make it sound much worse. The chances of miscarriage from amnio is 1% - ie twice the risk of D/S. I don't want to risk that. 1% seems very high, so why is 0.5% low?

Me and DH had a long chat this afternoon - would we want to terminate if we found out it was D/S? If not, there's no point in amnio. How would we feel if we gave birth and it had D/S? Having seen the baby moving around today, I couldn't imagine aborting it. Especially going this far to get pregnant. DH could imagine it, but would find it hard. Think it's different for men. It would be a hard life if the baby did have special needs, but I'm sure we'd love it very much. I wish we never had the test. I don't think I would have it again - it just makes you worry.

We pretty much decided to just ignore it and carry on. It's a small risk, and if we ended up with a baby with special needs, then we'd just have to deal with it. Everyone has a risk. If they had said it was 1/343, which is average for my age, then would we think any differently? It's still a risk. Could get born without D/S but with something else requiring a lot of attention, which they don't test for.

All this on what should just be a happy day. You'd think that if you've needed to have ivf, life would throw you a good dice afterwards. Next scan is September!

Did any of you go through this? I think I'm one of the older people on our thread, but not in the whole forum I'm sure. The over 40s thread must go through this much more.

Sorry to be so me me me today and put a downer on our excitement, but I needed to let off steam.

Got to pull myself together now and just enjoy what looked like a healthy baby. Telling my mum tomorrow - then the hype will begin. (First grandchild etc)

Hope your scan was good, Sameera.

PS Chelly - DH has no other kids.

[sameera]

Tin - I'm sorry you are lil upset about this whole thing and I agree with you - especially after going thru IVF your pregnancy should be worry free..

But life isn't alway what you want and is full of suprises.. besides we all have to take risks in life.

So if I were you I would not worry about this - since we do not have any control as to how and what things happen. We can only pray and hope everything works out and baby or babies are healthy..

Try to stay positive - I'm sure both you and your dh made the right decision - no matter what happens, you guys are in it together and knows whats best and everything will be fine.

I have read a lot in different threads that how these tests are not 100% accurate and it may say you have a chance of d/s but babies are born healthy.

If you need to talk more - we are here for you

As for me - I just got back and both my babies are doing great - they have gotten so big.

u/s tech was 90% sure one of em is a boy. However, she couldn't get a good pic to find out about other baby. Since both of them were not being co-operative!! they were having lots of fun kicking/moving around in my tummy!

But she said next u/s she can tell for sure! so I'm just thrilled to know that one of them is a boy

Have you guys had contractions?? or round ligament pain??

Sameera

[sweetmonkey2001]

Tin - sorry to hear about your upset this morning. I do have to agree that there is a high percentage of people with positive d/s tests but when baby is born they don't have d/s. so try and think positive. we are hear for you if you need us.

Sameera - WOW! A boy! That's great. When do you have your next ultrasound to confirm?

No contractions or ligament pain but definitely some fluttering inside.

Michele - can't wait to hear how your appointment went.

So it's Monday. Urghh! It seems that every sunday night when I know I have to get up for work the next day I can't seem to be able to sleep. I feel like I am going to fall asleep sitting up! I think today will be the day I have to take a nap.

3 more hours to go then hometime!

[sameera]

Sweet - tell me about sleeping geeze, I'm so tried right now that I could just fall asleep and not care if ppl laugh at me!!

ooo fluttering that means you are feeling movements that's cool

glad you don't have any ligament or contractions - those SUCKS!!!

My next appt is in 4 weeks August 11th for a check up and August 25th my BIG ultrasound!!

[4wd2bmom]

TinNotts~

Congratulations on seeing your active baby. I just saw mine last week for the first time as well (as a human baby) and it was just great!! So I know how excited you and DH must have felt.

I'm sorry to hear about the test results. But like others have said that test is not 100% positive so please don't worry. I did have a question, I had the same test done last week and while that part was normal, they also drew blood because they said that the Nuchal fold test was only part of what they look at. Are they doing bloodwork on you? If so, I hope that the blood test come back with a more positive result for you.

Also for what its worth, in my personal opinion, you and DH's decision to keep the baby no matter what is an indicator of what terrific parents you will be. I have a cousin with D/S and she is the sweetest person in the world. My DH also has a brother with a mental handicap and I can tell you that while his parents did have a hard time bringing him up, he is an excellent person and I think having to deal with his disability has really strengthened the bond between every member of that family.

While I wish for your baby to be healthy and perfect, and it probably will be. I just wanted to share that story to hopefully give you comfort that things will be ok.

Sameera~

I'm so happy to hear that your babies are doing well. I wish my tech would have found the sex of our baby last week. Apparently it was jumping around to much and she couldn't tell. She said that next time (in 6 weeks!) she would know for sure. ARGHHH! I'm hoping for a boy, just because I think DH would have more fun with a boy and as I grew up with an older sister, I always wished that I had an older brother. Although my Mother in Law is conviced that we are having a girl. I just cannot wait to find out!!

[TinNotts]

Thanks guys. I already feel a bit better than earlier. I think it was just trying to process the information that was a bit overwhelming. The nurse spent about 5 minutes explaining what D/s was! I think I'm OK - it's just a small chance.

Congratulations on your happy scan, Sameera. How exciting to know one is a boy!

PS I'm not a pink person. If I have a girl, the nursery will be yellow and green! Pink will be banned!

[TinNotts]

4wd2bmom - sorry - posts crossed.
No blood work - have to go private for that and we are currently on state-funded care. We were given the leaflet, but to be honest, I think it would just make me more worried if it showed increased risk. Rather just go with the flow now and let fate take its course. Thanks for the support.

[sameera]

Tin - I'm so glad to hear you are doing good That's good don't stress everything will work out hon

LOL I cannot believe you are not a pink person - I love pink!!

But now that I know 90% sure that i am having a boy then I will be going neutral color maybe yellow or baby blue or green..

I dunno cannot decide!!

4wd2bmom - I hope you get to find the sex of your baby soon!! It's been such a great journey..

Chelly - Where are you??

Denise - Hope you are doing well.

[chelly180]

TinNots- I'm so sorry to hear about your stresses. Just remember this is only a screening and is NOT diagnostic. The most they can give you is statistics, and to me that means crap. I mean, how many times did a doctor tell you that you have a 50/50 chance or less of conceiving and you still conceived! So what if "statistically" your risk is slightly higher?? People beat odds every day! Plus, without the bloodwork, their numbers may be even more skewed. I would not worry if I were you. This is a big reason why we did not have the NT screening. I knew that it would stress me out.
To us, God gave us this baby and we are having her no matter what. Nothing would make us terminate. Put your trust in the Lord, and He will take care of you! I will be praying for yours and all of our babies to be healthy!

Sameera- yaayyy, a boy?!! Is DH excited? Atleast he will help round out your family a bit right? My DH would be worried if he was outnumbered 4 to 1!
I totally feel your sleepiness...I wake up in the morning yawning! I am like what the hell, I just got up and I can't stop yawning! I am so contemplating bringing a cot to work. I would sleep in my car, but its 100degrees and I'd probably suffocate!

Jenn- DH see our OB everymorning at his gym, so if I ever have to ask her anything I can just pass it along through him! The last appt was fine, very quick she just did a scan to check heartbeat. The big sono is on August 14, when they check the anatomy.
I think we need to start a national nap time!

4wd2bmom- yay for seeing the baby again! That is good the baby moves a lot! Ours kept trying to run away too but she got a quick shot of the behind long enough to think its a girl.
I totally agree with what you said about having a family member who is special needs. It must be challenging, but most special needs kids are so sweet!

Off to go snack...on my hot cheetos with limon! yummm...

God Bless!
Michele

[sweetmonkey2001]

Tin - I can't believe you don't like pink! I have to say though I like green and yellow. Im glad to hear you are feeling better.

Michele - I have to agree with you on the national nap time. I think everyone would be alot more productive.

Sameera - There are so many colours to choose from isn't there? The colours you have chosen I like. I don't think there are many colours I don't like.

4wd2bmom - I know what you mean about the 6ww. I am about half way through mine. I find out what I am having on Aug 6th. I just hope the baby co-operates so they can tell. My last ultrasound the baby wouldn't stay still.

Jenn

[chelly180]

Of course, I would gladly trade a one hour nap to leave work one hour early!
I work out in the boonies, and I was telling my assistant that I wanted to buy an RV and just park it in the parking lot. That way I can bring the baby & DH & my mom like a mobile day care! Haha, I could breastfeed, mom can make me lunch, AND I can take a nap...then drive the family home! Better yet, I could just live in it M-F, wake up and roll out of bed and instantly be at work!
Only in a perfect world right?!
I wish my work had a daycare, but we are a small rural clinic with only 10 employees. Do any of yall have in-work day care? Do Canadiens get a separate day care budget?

God Bless!
Michele

[sameera]

Chelly - wow, it would be great and wonderful for you and your child to have a on the go daycare

but like you said only in perfect world - i wish it was that easy!!

Nope, I have to pay seperate for the day care my work doesn't include it.
currently I pay 150 bucks a week for 3 1/2 yr old..

with 3 kids in the day care it's going to 2500 bucks a month - phew I dunno what I'm gonna do.

The wonderful thing about her daycare is that I can watch my lil girl online - they have webcams through out the whole facility.

Sameera

[children]

HI TinNotts,

Based on my age alone the risk of having a DS baby is 1/200 (I am 46 in one month). We chose not to do any test in our first pg when I was 44 since my DH and I decided not to terminate any ongoing pg regardless. At 20 weeks scan, the tech told us our baby's heart has a white spot which was an indication of DS. She also mentioned that everything else looked fine. I did not know why I was not bothered by that at that time - maybe I just like to listen to what I wanted to hear - "everything else is fine" part.

But this second pg, we decided to do the ultrascreening which involves the same US test as you just did and some blood work. I wanted this screening mainly b/c I wanted to have one more scan before 20 weeks.

Chelly,

I liked your plan to have a big RV parked beside the office. We are lucky to have a daycare within 1 mile from my office so I could go to feed my baby if I want to. But for our DD, I chose to pump and let the caretakers to feed her. It's not easy since she did not like to be fed by them, but it allowed me to work.

Hi to everyone else and I am glad everyone is doing great and thanks for letting my butt in again!

[chelly180]

sameera- wow, $150 for daycare a week for just 1 child?? Yikes! That's why I figured I would just pay my mom to take care of the baby on an as-needed basis...DH goes to work very early but gets off around 10 or 11 most days. I think she would be more of a nanny/housekeeper, but I would like to have the baby socialize with other too, maybe just not right away. I will probably go back to work after 8 weeks at the most... ...so we will probably be looking into part-time daycare maybe after 1. Well see....
That is so cool you can check on your daughter any time you want! That would be very comforting knowing you can 'spy' on the providers!

children- unfortunately there is no suitable daycare within atleast 15 miles of where I work, so I wouldn't even have the option of stopping in during the day. I would feel better if I knew she was close, like yours is. How is your pregnancy going?

God Bless!
Michele

[sweetmonkey2001]

Michele - I would have to say the RV thing is a great idea. I know daycare costs are approximately $150 per week. You can claim that money on your income tax but not sure how much you would get back. I know you also get a baby bonus every month until you child is approx 18. I don't think it is very much but every little bit helps. I think there is also some kind of child tax credit you can appy for as well.

The lucky thing for me is that I don't have to go back to work for a year. My mom only works 3 days a week and lives 3 minutes from my work and is willing to watch the baby when I go back to work. The other 3 days my friends husband stays home with their daughter and he is offered to take mine for less then what a daycare would cost.

I also don't have a daycare close to my work. My friend lives about 5-10 minutes from work (the one that would watch the baby 3days a week) so it is quite handy. It is also on my way home which is nice too. I know my mom will enjoy having the baby as I have a sister with special needs so she would enjoy having her niece hang out with her a couple of days a week.

Jenn