Hi folks - did not have the best day yesterday as it was when Oliver was due and despite being pregnant I am sure you will all appreciate that it was a tough one. It is not that I am not overjoyed but really wanted him if that makes sense and he will always be our first born.
Anyway as most of you know we had to wait 14 weeks for a post mortem so could not put closure on it until his cremation and service on december 19th.
Without being graphic as he was small - 20 wks but the size of 16 we were told not to expect ashes and we didn't. The day before he was due - ie thursday DH got a call to say they had his ashes and had not rung us before. WEll you can imagine how we felt so yesterday had to pick them up. I went pretty spare as you can imagine asking why on earth it had taken 6 wks to tell us - they gave us some cock and bull story that had been busy and Sandra had gone on hols for two weeks and had not caught up with admin. I decided to let it drop in the end as I dearly would have stuffed them all in an incinerator and thrown away the key!
When I look at it in a more positive light Oliver is never far away and he decided that we should have his ashes on the day he was due. He was and always will be our special boy so we will decide now what to do with his ashes. In the meantime I have kept them away from the dog!
I now have a new/old car as handed in my notice and officially penniless, carless and jobless so now have a nice metallic ice blue P reg VW Sharan!
Just need to get my business up and running.
Love to you all
Tracey
xxx
Not the best day yesterday!
Not the best day yesterday!
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
Hi Tracey
I was thinking of you, your DH and Oliver yesterday. It must have been a very strange day for you and it's a shame that you had to go through the cock-up with the ashes. But as you say, you now have Oliver's ashes to put in a special place to remember him by, not that you'll ever forget him.
As for the car, we borrowed a Sharan over Christmas and it's a great car for twins and all the gubbins that goes with them. And the colour sounds cool.
Take care of you and yours.
Love Jules
I was thinking of you, your DH and Oliver yesterday. It must have been a very strange day for you and it's a shame that you had to go through the cock-up with the ashes. But as you say, you now have Oliver's ashes to put in a special place to remember him by, not that you'll ever forget him.
As for the car, we borrowed a Sharan over Christmas and it's a great car for twins and all the gubbins that goes with them. And the colour sounds cool.
Take care of you and yours.
Love Jules
TTC 5 years. Daniel & Charlotte born 22.03.02, 1st ICSI treatment. TTC for 4 further years. 2nd ICSI cycle abandoned, 3rd cycle BFN. Looking forward to being a happy family of 4.
Hi Tracey
I was thinking about you a lot yesterday wondering how you got through it. I don't doubt for a minute that it was going to be easy but I think there had to be some significance to Olivers ashes being collected yesterday. I see it that it was all down to Oliver telling his Mummy and Daddy that he was going to be with you both one way or another that day. I am sure you will think of somewhere special to scatter his ashes and where you can remember him. Have you thought about planting a tree?
I can't imagine what you must have gone through during that awful time and you must have time to greive as well as feel joy about your special twins. Their big brother will be a beautiful shining star watching down on them keeping them safe.
Look to the future now Trace and God bless you all.
With much love Dagny xx
I was thinking about you a lot yesterday wondering how you got through it. I don't doubt for a minute that it was going to be easy but I think there had to be some significance to Olivers ashes being collected yesterday. I see it that it was all down to Oliver telling his Mummy and Daddy that he was going to be with you both one way or another that day. I am sure you will think of somewhere special to scatter his ashes and where you can remember him. Have you thought about planting a tree?
I can't imagine what you must have gone through during that awful time and you must have time to greive as well as feel joy about your special twins. Their big brother will be a beautiful shining star watching down on them keeping them safe.
Look to the future now Trace and God bless you all.
With much love Dagny xx
tracy, it so sad and makes me want to cry. whatever the future holds Oliver will always be a part of you both. i know the future for you is bright and Oliver will always be close by.
yesterday must have been really difficult for you in itself and i can imagine your anger about Oliver's ashes.
take care of yourself .
phil x
yesterday must have been really difficult for you in itself and i can imagine your anger about Oliver's ashes.
take care of yourself .
phil x
Tracey
sorry I didnt realise it was yesterday
he wanted to be with you now to get you through the next painfull stage and help you feel calm till you hit that 20 week barrier . he will be close to you now and always be a part of your lives. Here is a big hug and hope that it wasnt too painfull for you .
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Do you fancy meeting up with Helen G? or is it too far for you to come ?
Trace xxxx
sorry I didnt realise it was yesterday
he wanted to be with you now to get you through the next painfull stage and help you feel calm till you hit that 20 week barrier . he will be close to you now and always be a part of your lives. Here is a big hug and hope that it wasnt too painfull for you .{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Do you fancy meeting up with Helen G? or is it too far for you to come ?
Trace xxxx
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Helen Reid
- Regular
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- Location: Ayrshire
Tracey
I am so sorry about yesterday it must of had been a shock but i think its true that it was meant for him to be with you on that day. He will be with you looking over you now keeping an eye on his little brothers or sisters.
I know what its like to be penniless and its worth it. The best thing i ever did was give up my job in 2002. My dh is working all the hours god sends to keep us to the life we are acustomed to (so he says, more like his social life). But i would not have it any other way.
Take care
Helen
I am so sorry about yesterday it must of had been a shock but i think its true that it was meant for him to be with you on that day. He will be with you looking over you now keeping an eye on his little brothers or sisters.
I know what its like to be penniless and its worth it. The best thing i ever did was give up my job in 2002. My dh is working all the hours god sends to keep us to the life we are acustomed to (so he says, more like his social life). But i would not have it any other way.
Take care
Helen
Hi Tracey,
Just to let you know I'm thinking about you and your dh - your post really touched my heart.
I always think that things happen for a reason and it seems fate that what has happened with the timing of Oliver's ashes has - he will always be part of you both and he has, and will make you stronger.
Take care of yourself.
Zoe x
Just to let you know I'm thinking about you and your dh - your post really touched my heart.
I always think that things happen for a reason and it seems fate that what has happened with the timing of Oliver's ashes has - he will always be part of you both and he has, and will make you stronger.
Take care of yourself.
Zoe x
Hi Tracey,
sorry to hear about your rotten day. Very strange coincidence though don't you think, that the call about Oliver came when he would have been due..........or am I just being a tw
t?
Since the new layout, I haven't been able to login, so finally re-registered but needed another email address, and would you believe that I then couldn't even figure out how to check the new bloody email address to activate the damn thing, so I've had to do it again.......with another email address This probably makes no sense but at least I got it off my chest 
...sorry, going a bit mad with the emoticons, as you can see oops done it again....
I was looking for some cot bedding today online, and saw the Jane' twin travel system and thought of you. To be honest it doesn't look that practical as one baby would be behind the other, but when the two Rebel car seats were fitted, then it looked fab.
I'm still so thrilled by your news, and hope and pray that everything turns out well for you and your hubby, this is surely your time. Can't wait to see your post when they arrive safe and sound.
Take care, and look after yourself and your twin bubs.
Suzanne.x
sorry to hear about your rotten day. Very strange coincidence though don't you think, that the call about Oliver came when he would have been due..........or am I just being a tw
t? Since the new layout, I haven't been able to login, so finally re-registered but needed another email address, and would you believe that I then couldn't even figure out how to check the new bloody email address to activate the damn thing, so I've had to do it again.......with another email address
This probably makes no sense but at least I got it off my chest ...sorry, going a bit mad with the emoticons, as you can see oops done it again....I was looking for some cot bedding today online, and saw the Jane' twin travel system and thought of you. To be honest it doesn't look that practical as one baby would be behind the other, but when the two Rebel car seats were fitted, then it looked fab.
I'm still so thrilled by your news, and hope and pray that everything turns out well for you and your hubby, this is surely your time. Can't wait to see your post when they arrive safe and sound.
Take care, and look after yourself and your twin bubs.
Suzanne.x
ttc for almost 4 years, diagnosed as unexplained. Just about to begin treatment when we were lucky enough to concieve naturally. Our beautiful baby boy, Daniel, was born on 27 Sept 2003. Now expecting again, baby due 22 Aug 2005.
TS, I just wanted to add that I was thinking about you all day friday (as you know!) and I'm always here for you whenever you need me. You'll think of somewhere to keep/plant the ashes (away from Gabbie!) and then you'll always have somewhere to go and talk to Oliver. Rest assured he'll be watching over his little brothers/sisters and making damn sure nothing happens to them or you. Try and rest and take things easy - don't push yourself too hard!
I think you have to be careful not to try and do too much too soon otherwise you'll wear yourself out and you need to keep your strength for those babies. One thing to cross of your list - website is well underway and will show you when we see you in a couple of weeks.
Take care of yourself
Love you lots.
nik.xxxxxxxxx
ps I think having a car called Sharan is so apt for a girl called Tracey - will you be leaving Lincolnshire and moving to Chigwell???
I think you have to be careful not to try and do too much too soon otherwise you'll wear yourself out and you need to keep your strength for those babies. One thing to cross of your list - website is well underway and will show you when we see you in a couple of weeks.
Take care of yourself
Love you lots.
nik.xxxxxxxxx
ps I think having a car called Sharan is so apt for a girl called Tracey - will you be leaving Lincolnshire and moving to Chigwell???
You are all so lovely thank you for your kind messages.
I know you were all thinking of me and we are just fine. I try not to dwell on things as the only thing that happens is you get upset.
We have spent the weekend taking the dog out - she is quite exhausting and has discovered she likes to wade in water - hoping to get away with it for a bit longer. She also has her puppy classes again on tuesday - she was the only one barking last week and got so excited did a huge s**t on the floor like a mr whippy ice cream - very classy.
Suzanne - how wonderful to hear from you - how is DAniel - pop a post on so we can have an update on how you are.
Trace - would love to catch up with you and Helen G
Nik - thanks re the Sharan - having a laugh here as we have a Tracey and a Sharan - oh very upmarket! - I'll give you Chigwell. I don't overdo things so don;t worry - have BT in tomorrow putting in the phone lines.
Still sleep every day but not had one yet.
The rest of you take special care
Jules - you still saving up?
Love
Tracey
xxx
I know you were all thinking of me and we are just fine. I try not to dwell on things as the only thing that happens is you get upset.
We have spent the weekend taking the dog out - she is quite exhausting and has discovered she likes to wade in water - hoping to get away with it for a bit longer. She also has her puppy classes again on tuesday - she was the only one barking last week and got so excited did a huge s**t on the floor like a mr whippy ice cream - very classy.
Suzanne - how wonderful to hear from you - how is DAniel - pop a post on so we can have an update on how you are.
Trace - would love to catch up with you and Helen G
Nik - thanks re the Sharan - having a laugh here as we have a Tracey and a Sharan - oh very upmarket! - I'll give you Chigwell. I don't overdo things so don;t worry - have BT in tomorrow putting in the phone lines.
Still sleep every day but not had one yet.
The rest of you take special care
Jules - you still saving up?
Love
Tracey
xxx
Hi Tracey
You always sound so very strong about everything - you really are an inspiration.
As for the puppy, you haven't said anything to suddenly persuade me to become a dog person!
Yes, we are still saving up but it is SO much harder when you've got two littlies to buy things for and me not working full-time. At this rate, we may just have enough money before I reach 40 (in 5 years time)! I think that I may have to ask my Dad for a loan if we haven't enough cash by the end of the year 'cos time is ticking on.
Take care of yourself.
Love Jules
You always sound so very strong about everything - you really are an inspiration.
As for the puppy, you haven't said anything to suddenly persuade me to become a dog person!
Yes, we are still saving up but it is SO much harder when you've got two littlies to buy things for and me not working full-time. At this rate, we may just have enough money before I reach 40 (in 5 years time)! I think that I may have to ask my Dad for a loan if we haven't enough cash by the end of the year 'cos time is ticking on.
Take care of yourself.
Love Jules
TTC 5 years. Daniel & Charlotte born 22.03.02, 1st ICSI treatment. TTC for 4 further years. 2nd ICSI cycle abandoned, 3rd cycle BFN. Looking forward to being a happy family of 4.
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LORRAINE G
- Regular
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- Joined: Sat May 03, 2003 12:24 pm