AUG/SEPT BUDDIES!

[jharris12]

Good evening ladies. Just a quick update. I got my message from the RE's office, and I actually get to trigger TONIGHT!!!!!! So my RE is now Tuesday! I am so excited! I go in tomorrow morning for BW, and then go in Tuesday morning for ER. Then hopefully 5 days later, I will have ET! YEAH!!! Anyway, just wanted to thank you all for all the positive thoughts you have sent my way, it has really helped a lot. I feel so positive going into this. I just know it's going to work! Praying for each and every on of you! HAve a great night!!

[valerie68]

Good evening girls,

jharris~ How fantastic is that!! I'm so happy for you...I know it will work for you this time around. You've got great numbers and plenty of follies!

As for me, I'm having a tough evening. I spoke to my cousin right before my AP and found out she's 7 weeks pregnant. It's funny, I told DH today that I knew she was pregnant before I got the news.
As happy as I am for her, I'm having a terrible time handling it. My AP saw me, took my pulse and just kept asking me what was wrong. At first I didn't say anything but then she started to put the needles inside and they hurt so bad ( they rarely do ). She then said that I seemed very sensitive tonight and then I just broke down, tears just streamed down my face.
I didn't think it would affect me so much, I guess I'm scared I won't be able to get pregnant and doubts enter my mind.
My AP told me to concentrate on what I want, on what is going to happen and never doubt that I will get it. As soon as negative thoughts enter my mind, to totally erase them. WOW...it's so difficult but I have to do it because I have to put all the chances on my side.
We miscarried together the first time and now she's pregnant...I guess it's my turn to be pregnant so that we can share this experience together.
I'm still crying tonight writing about it...I've got to find a way to feel good about this and be at peace inside.
My AP substitute really helped me as well, she gave me some tips on what to do but now comes the hard part of doing it.
What I know is that this board really helps me get through moments like these when I know you all understand what I feel.

I'll be fine, writing and crying helps me. Tomorrow will be better and probably will have regained my optimism.


In the meantime I checked my emails and my cousin wrote me a note. What a sweetheart she is!! Basically she tells me that she hopes the news did not bother me too much and that if I need time for myself in the weeks to come, she will understand. She also tells me that she knows this will be my time and to not fear for the future. She's sending me all her good vibes...I feel them already..... I adore her.... and now she's making me cry twice as much. How sensitive of her to write me that!!!
I'm going to gather all my good thoughts and really, really concentrate on that and believe every minute of every day that I will have a baby.
First, I'll shed a few more tears

Thank you for letting me vent, I needed that so bad.

Much love,

Val

[karenvancouverisland]

hi val..
i feel for you right now (sending a you a big hug too ). i'm not sure what else to say, it's so hard for me too, handling the paradox of being happy for others (or at least- not bitter), while acknowledging my own feelings. it's wonderful your cousin is so thoughtful; that's a nice note she sent. there are no solutions, but there is support and a safe place like this to let your feelings out and vent. after my posts yesterday i thought 'this is the place where i can fly my freak flag'- let all my junk hang out, as nasty and crazy as it can be sometimes.
i hope you find some comfort tonight and rediscover that optimism tomorrow. my mom gave me a beautiful card after my m/c, i still have it on my windowsill because i love what it says on the front:
'hope abides quietly in our souls, and whispers comfort when we need it most'.

jharris- wow! i'm so excited for you. you're odds sounds great! be gentle with yourself through this amazing process, let go and leave room for the miracle to happen. i'll be sending postive energy your way.

lots of love to all the other women out there too. karen

[JDC]

Hi Everyone.......just a quick post as I must get ready for work. val My heart goes out to you right now. Sometimes I get ashamed of my feelings.....but that doesn't change the fact that I still have them! I think it is best to get them out as you did, then you can move on. You are a strong, insightful, and wonderful person and I know your time is coming too!

Jharris wow again! Congratulations to you! Can't wait for you to get that BFP! I'm rooting for ya!

As for me.....started my follistim and low dose hcg last night and I continue with estrace until Wed. Grow follicles grow! I am praying that somehow both ovaries respond this time - last time only one responded and I only had 3 follicles. Tonight is AP and I really need it!

Have a wonderful day my friends!

[SueQiwi]

Val~I feel for you. It is tough for us dealing with infertility to hear news like that from our friends and family. Please dont feel guilty or bad about any negative feelings you may have. And this is especially hard for you because of your history together and your parallel miscarriages. It is stirring up all those old feelings from your last round. I can totally see why you are so upset! But just think--this is your second chance to be pregnant together. You are so ready this time--you have done such a good job preparing youself mentally and physically. And you know your body can do it! I think you and your cousin may be chatting about morning sickness before you know it

JHarris~Congrats on triggering! I am soooooo excited for you! You are in such good spirits--you are so ready to be a Mum! And it sounds like there will be many eggs and so many wonderful embies! I am really pulling for you and hoping for your BFP! Keep us posted.

Im thinking of all you gals and hope you are hanging in thinking good thoughts.

[valerie68]

Good morning wonderful ladies!

Thank you Karen, JDC and SueQiwi for your kind words. I'm a bit at a loss for words right now. I was moving so forward before and now I feel like I've shifted to neutral. I'll take the day to put everything into perspective, turn this situation into something very positive and see her pregnancy as a source of strength for myself.
I'm feeling nauseous this morning( from the pill ) and SueQiwi, I have to believe you're right that we're going to talk morning sickness together. It would be awesome!
You know Karen, none of what we're feeling is crazy, what you're going through is tough and we are finding ways of dealing with it all. Being able to talk like this with others in the same situation is something so valuable and I'm fortunate to have all of you. Thank you!!

JDC~ Sooo glad you have started your stims!! I can see your eggs multiplying by the day. But the important thing is that they will be very good and strong. Hope you get great numbers on your first BW and US !! Crossing my fingers and toes for you!

Karen~ Thank you for sharing what your card said. I like it too...i think it's whispering in my ears too.

Babyloves~ How's the 2ww going for you? How are you feeling? Those little embies are starting to hang on tight in there.

Hope all the other ladies are doing great!! Thinking about all of you!

Have a great day.

Val

[jharris12]

Good Monday morning!! Hope you all had a great weekend?!

valerie: I'm so sorry you were feeling down. You have been so positive throughout ths whole thing. It's okay to have those moments. We all understand, and we are all here for you. And soon it will be your time, and you can be pregnant with her! Then you will have a whole other reason to cry! At least it sounds like your cousin is supportive, and will understand your feelings. And you know you can vent to us anytime you need to. Hope you are feeling more optimistic today?!

karen: Thanks for the positive energy! Your card sounds beautiful. Sounds like your mom found just the right one.

JDC: Thank you! Congrats on starting stims!! Not much longer now! I'm sure this cycle will work so much better than your last. Grow follies, grow!

SueQiwi: Thank you as well!! I am in great spirits, and I just feel so positive about this cycle. And mostly thanks to all you wonderful ladies helping me through this!

I went in this morning for BW, and everything looks a go for ER tomorrow morning! I will give you all an update when I get one! Thank you all again for all your support. It has helped more than you know!

[MzTia]

Hello Ladies,

I hope everyone had a nice relaxing weekend!!

Yay Jharris triggering. Good luck on that retreival tomorrow I will be thinking of healthy mature eggs for you.

Val- I know how hard it is to see others get pregnant but your cousin sure sounds like a very thoughtful person just like yourself. You will be joining her very soon ))

Hope every stimming is having an easy time of it and all us waiting we will start soon.

Have the best day ever!!!

[to_have_fun08]

Hi Everyone,
I went away for the weekend and have now just got time to get on the computer to see how everyone is doing.

Val - I know it is hard to hear when other get PG. My husband's best friend and his wife are also trying to get PG. I know this sounds mean but a few months ago I would have been really pissed off if she got PG before me. I have been trying longer and she is also a lot younger then me so in my insane mind I feel that I deserve it more. Now she has an appointment with an RE so i have kind of changed my views and don't really care if she get PG before me. I really hope she gets PG soon because I don't wish this infertility and going through IVF on anyone.

JHarris - Good luck tomorrow on ER. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for a bunch of great eggs that fertilize well.

JDC - Congrats on stimming, One step down only a few more to go.

Babyloves - How is everything going for you? Are you going insane in the 2ww. So the big question is are you going to POAS?

I hope everyone else is doing well.

I am just hanging out here. I have 19 more days to go on BC. Then once AF comes I get to start stimming. Problem is that should be right around my B-day so I can't make any plans for my B-day weekend due to the fact that I just might have to go to the RE for U/S and b/w that weekend. I guess i will just have to figure something to do locally. This past weekend I had and awesome weekend camping and 4-wheeling my Jeep with my DH. We have been together for 16 years and have never camped by ourselves so it was really nice. Usually we are with friends. After being together this long it is hard to come by something that we are doing for a first time.

Chris

[valerie68]

Hello everyone!

Thank you again for all your support! jharris, Mztia, to_have_fun, all your kind words are wonderful. I do feel better tonight, not back where I was before but it's coming. I had a tough day at work, did not feel very good physically (probably to go along with the mental), the heat was getting to me. But I took the time after my last job to sit on their patio(no one's home) and just meditate. I must say that it helped me a lot!

jharris~ I can't wait to hear about your ER tomorrow! Lots of good quality follies to make even better embies. Get plenty of rest afterwards and I cross my fingers for the best fertilization report.

to_have_fun~ Sounds like you really had fun this weekend! That's so good! Maybe you should consider that an early B-Day present. Your late B-Day present will be a BFP !!! Now, you just can't beat that.
It will be fun because you and I stim at the same time and then we'll have our BFP at the same time!

Mztia~ It's good to hear from you! I hope you're feeling better and better every day!
You are right, my cousin is a very thoughtful person...she much more like a sister to me than a cousin and she feels the same way. The path of our lives has been so similar in so many ways. We both left home to go study abroad. I came to the USA and she went to Mexico. We both struggle with similar ailments and we both married somebody from that country. Neither one of us has any plans on going back to Belgium. I guess it's only fair to say that we will be pregnant together.

Coco~ Where are you girl...we miss you!! I hope all is well for you and DH. I'm a little worried because we have not heard a word from you. Let us know!!

I gotta go finish dinner! Thanks again...you are all soooo wonderful!

Hugs...

Val

[cocosmomma]

Oh, I'm good! I'm keeping up best I can and thinking about all of you. Just not a lot going on here. My DH is fine - totally recovered. Thanks for all your well wishes!

JHarris - good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking about you!

I had a long follicular phase again this month - ovulated on Day 20. Not sure what that means?? Anyone know if that hampers conception? I can't find anything on it. Hopefully my luteal phase will be longer than 8 days this month. But I doubt it. DH and I haven't made the final decision yet if we will go with another FET in September or wait until November. I'd like to give my AP a little more time, so I am leaning towards waiting. We only have 9 frosties left and while that may sound like a lot, you can lose MANY in the thawing process. That could equal only one or two FETs and I don't want to rush into anything until my AP is comfortable. October is a ridiculously crazy month for me. I'm an event planner and have 2 weddings and a conference in the month of October, so doing IVF is not an option. November might be better - then all I have to do is get ready for the holidays. I'll keep you posted on what we decide.

Hey Rinnie - the herbs seem to be making such a huge difference for me in terms of my kidney, spleen and blood issues. I am scared to death not to take them during my FET. I am afraid my body will frack up all over again. Thoughts?

Have a good night, ladies!

PS - hi to all the newbies and thanks for joining us!

[hopinginpa]

Hi all wow I have missed alot!

Jharris-Good luck tomorrow, cant wait to hear how many eggs you get! I am right behind you. I just triggered, so my ER is Wed.

JDC-Congrats on stimming. Hope you get lots of eggs this time! When is your first US?

Val-I am sorry you had a bad day. It sucks to hear about others getting pregnant, although we are happy for them, it still hurts. My SIL just informed us that she is 8 weeks pregnant. I am happy for her but it hurts.... Your cousin sounds wonderful.

Cocos-good to hear from you.

Well I have my ER on Wednesday. I have 12 eggs, 8 on right and 4 on left. The left ovary isn't working so well this month. We are hoping they are mature at retrieval. Hope everybody is well.

[karenvancouverisland]

hi all, so here's my latest, positive (possibly too optimistic though) thought :

since my m/c my body's a bit different...(hope this isn't sharing too much info) my cervical mucous has changed alot..way more of it. and, AND, the most bizarre thing i've experienced in a long time- me, the professed dairy-aholic.. i suddenly dislike milk.. for a good 10 days now, for me this is crazy (i once went to 7-11 in the middle of night for milk!). so the optimist in me wonders and believes that my fertility is changing for the better. maybe i don't need those cow hormones cause i got extra of my own right now

anyways, that's my silly, hopeful and possibly true, thought of the day.
it's 7 weeks tomorrow and i still haven't had AF since the m/c. think i'll phone my OBGYN to inquire if this is concerning.

hugs and love to all. ps. babyloves- sending you extra baby dust.
karen

[SueQiwi]

I just had to go back and read my post for Val as it turns out I need to practise what I preached. . . today I just found out my brother's wife is pregnant. I was totally stunned and not expecting the news. And now I feel like a total a-s because I am so jealous--even though he is going to make the best Dad ever! I just feel ill.

JHarris~Please do let us know about egg collection and you too, Hoping. I am thinking of you both. I hope you both get at least a good dozen eggs!

JDC~I feel like our scenarios are similar in many ways--I too had most of my follies on the left last time and only one on my right ovary. I sure hope both of yours kick in this time and make twice the eggs!

Chris~Glad you got out there for some QT with the DH. Camping and 4wheeling sounds like fun.

Karen~the body-change theory sounds viable! And Ive read some things online to back up th idea of getting pregnant more easlity after suffering a miscarriage due to the hormonal shift.

cocos~glad you are well. I think there is some benefit to waiting to maximize the affects of AP on your body. but personally I would much rather try again sooner than later. I am going a little nuts even waiting until September!

[Kate21]

Hey Girls!

SueQiwi - don't feel bad about being jealous, it is a normal reaction considering what you are going through. I used to feel the same way, especially when it was a shock announcement about someone falling pregnant - used to come home and cry! Now, I find if I know someone is trying I can prepare myself for the news (whenever it might come). If not, I just come home, shed a few tears to DH and then it is onwards and upwards....I have come to realise that unless I want to become bitter and twisted about this infertility then I have to accept someone around me will always be pregnant. I can't hide away for the rest of me life (I tried for a while and turned into someone I didn't much like!) so apart from the odd day here and there I now only have positive thoughts - I WILL become pregnant, its just taking me a bit longer than most!!! Being on this site definitely helps, I can rant and rave to people who fully understand and don't judge me for being jealous - it makes me feel better!!

JHarris - I hope today goes well, I'm sure there will be plenty of follies collected x

Hoping - you're not far behind, 12 sounds like a good number - although you will only need one for your BFP!

Karen - am sure your body is sorting itself out for the next pregnancy. Mine took a while to settle down as well.

Val - hope you are ok? Your cousin sounds like a sweetheart, although that doesn't make hearing the news any easier does it? It won't be long before you join her though and then you can both experience the joys of being pregnant together.


JCD - how is the stimming going?

Coco - good to hear from you. Think you just have to have your next tmt when you feel the time is right. Probably best to do it when you can fully relax and not be stressed at work.

To_have_fun - your weekend sounds like just that!! Your BFP will be your birthday present to yourself - will be worth waiting for!

As for me, not much to report. Officially finished work yesterday for 6 wks!!! Amazingly the weather in the UK is good at the moment so I am going to make the most of it and sit in the garden today. I'm looking forward to stimming although I don't want to wish my holiday away - so for now it is me time and lots of relaxation....need to make the most of it as next year I won't be able to with a baby (do you like my PMA?!!!).

Enjoy your day, will catch you later

Kate