1st u/s, no heartbeat. Anyone else?

[kerpupples]

Hi ladies, thanks so much for checking in on me.

The emotional toll on DH and I was extremely high over the weekend. I started feeling somewhat worse physically on Monday, so we decided to induce on Tuesday.

I put the misoprostol tabs into my vagina at 5 AM and went back to sleep. When I awoke at 8 AM I was feeling a bit crampy so I took 2 of the percocets that my doctor prescribed. I'd never taken percs before and within an hour I was high as a kite! They made me itch like crazy too.

At about 11 there was no sign of any blood so I called my clinic. They weren't concerned and said to call if I hadn't passed any tissue in 48 hours. At that point I could feel the percs wearing off so I took 2 more.

The cramps started getting really bad at about 11:45, and at that point I started bleeding. A few minutes later I passed a clot. The cramps were almost unbearable at that point. I was in the bathroom and called out to DH to ask him to call the clinic to see if it was OK to take more percs, but then I passed the tissue. It seemed to come out intact and was about the size of a golf ball. The relief from the cramps was immediate, and I was exhausted. From then on it was bleeding, steady but not too heavy.

I'm still bleeding but it's tapered off. I have been rather weak but I suspect that is normal. I took the tissue in yesterday to get analyzed. Will be sure to let you all know what the results are.

Cathy, I wish that your experience could have been this easy! It was no picnic but it still sounds like you had a much more painful and stressful ordeal.

DH and I are relieved that the worst is over. Now we can work on healing and at some point soon start hoping again.

Amy

[riogirl71]

Oh Amy, what an experience. I am so sorry you were in pain. Please let us know what the RE says about the baby. I hope that you recover completely very soon, I can only imagine how phisically and emotionally draining this ordeal is for you. I hope you will spoil yourself some! My heart goes to you and DH.

[Hoekey]

Amy, I am sorry that I wasn't able to get on and wish you condolences yesterday. I had pain clinic and so was sedated on bed rest. What with the D&C on Wednesday and pain clinic yesterday I feel like I have wasted half a week in bed .

I am glad that your MC went a little smoother than mine. No one wants to have to experience one but I guess if you have to anyway a nice quick one is the way to go. Is your clinic doing a follow-up U/S to make sure that it was complete? If they are, I would recommend waiting 4-6 days at least. As I think I have previousley posted, my clinic did one less than 36 hours after mine. They did see some tissue and clotting, but told me that I was fine. Then after bleeding for two weeks I called and ended up having a D&C anyway. Make sure that they give you ample time to pass ALL "products of conception" (their term they use, not mine) before going in for the follow-up U/S. The clinic did call yesterday and told me that what they cleaned out was indeed still some "POC" and that I should now be fine. I turned out to be a real head-scratcher for them. My Dr. is very puzzled. With how long the MC took, to how bad the bleeding a clotting was, to then still having "left-overs" after the heavy bleeding and clotting. Anyway, they did a pap and other "testing" with the D&C and they said that all was normal so... who knows.

I am so sorry, here I am ranting about my experience when what I wanted to do was offer my support with yours. But, I guess when you come along someone who has gone through relatively the same thing it's easier to vent I think. I really hope that you and your DH are doing well, and now on the road to recovery. Please let me know what your results are from the testing.

P.S. They did a lot of blood tests on me to make sure that I did not have V-leiden or any of those other things that cause MCs, because this has been my second MC. I had one in between my DDs, very early, didn't even know I was pregnant really, just a late period and happened to take a PG test because I am never late, well, at least I never was back then. The line was very very faint and then the next day I started my period. Went to ER, of course there was nothing for them to do and it was just like a regular, but late, period. They figured I had probably lost the baby before I even took the PG test. So, to err on the side of caution they tested me, all is normal. So, I guess my chances next time should be better. I mean I was on the wrong side of all the odds this time, so next time I shold be on the right side, RIGHT?? You too!!!!

It has been really nice to make a connection with someone on here who has gone through what I have. Please keep in touch and keep me posted as to when you are going to do your next FET etc.. I will be praying for you. Do you have plans to get away with DH anywhere before starting over? Even if you can't afford to take time off work, a nice weekend getaway to a B&B or something can be a really nice break to recharge. I wish you both the best and a speedy recovery. If your clinic offers free counseling I would also take them up on that. Or if you have a local counselor you feel confortable with, take advantage of it. Talking and sharing really do help. You are a very strong woman. Hang in there.

Cathy

Oh, P.P.S I am so glad that your Dr. prescribed an actual pain medication, do you know what mine told me to take?? Ibuprofen!! Yeah, right, luckily my DH had some Vicodin left-over from when he broke his foot last fall and I always have some handy for when my arthritis flairs too much for Aleve.

[kerpupples]

Rio, as always your attention and good wishes are much appreciated.

Cathy, don't you dare apologize for not responding while you were dealing with your own medical issues! I can't believe they called it "product of conception". I think I see their intent but I'm not sure it helps you to grieve. And again, I'm so sorry you had to have the D&C after what you've been through already. I hope the process is finished now so that you and DH can actually start your healing. And I'm glad you had the Vicodin on hand! My doctor has been excellent about that. I had a D&C myself last October to remove a uterine adhesion and polyps. Between that and post retrieval pain my doc has kept me well stocked on painkillers.

I have an u/s appointment for Wednesday to see if there's anything left in my uterus. I'm suprised at how sore I still am. The bleeding has actually just started to taper off significantly today. I think they only plan on doing tests on me if the tests on the baby (sorry, NOT a POC!) don't show any genetic abnormalities.

Emotionally we're still struggling. DH seems to feel like I might blame him and I think he blames himself somewhat too. We had a big fight about it tonight. I don't blame him at all. I really hope he'll agree to some counseling with me - I think we're both in need of it.

You have been extremely helpful to me as well, sharing your experiences, your heartache and your support. I am most grateful!

I'll let you know what happens on Wednesday - you may have left on your vacation by then but you can read it when you get home. I hope you and DH have a great time!

Amy

[Hoekey]

Amy, I hope this finds you doing a little better. Times right now may be stressful between you and DH, I know that they still get that way with me and my DH. I have also suggested that maybe he go to counseling with me but I think that I am going to wait until after our vacation to really pursue the subject with him again. I definitley want us both to go together before we go for the next FET. I think in some ways he feels responsible and in some ways I do too. It's really hard because sometimes something said with little to no meaning behind it can be taken, right now, in a wrong way because we are both so sensitive and still hurting. We have had a few friends send condolence cards and it seems that when you think you're doing okay one of those comes in the mail and boom, you're gutted again. It is so nice to have friends who are thoughtful enough to send them, and they are good crys, but we just got another, and hopefully the last one, today. It has been almost four weeks since we found out the baby died and three weeks since the MC. As much as I appreciate so much these cards, part of me dreads opening them because it is like pulling the bandaid off again. This last card included a hand written poem and it touched me very deeply so I am going to share it with you:

"Just Those Few Weeks"

For those few weeks
I had you to myself
And that seemed too short a time
to be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks
I came to know you
and to love you
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks
When I lost you.
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks
It wasn't enough time to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
and no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks
and no "normal" person would cry all night
over a tiny vanished baby,
or get depressed and withdrawn day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one.
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life so much richer
and give me a small glimpse of eternity.

...Author Unknown

I balled like a baby when I read this and so did my DH. I know that it will probably make you cry too, but WOW, how beautifully it puts out there how we are feeling.

We don't leave for our vacation until Thursday morning so I hope that I will be around to see your results. If not, I'll definitley be checking in when I get back.

Best wishes,
Cathy...

[kerpupples]

DH and I have been doing much better - so much so that I completely forgot to ask for a counselling referral at my appointment today!

The u/s was fine. Doc said she'd be concerned about me retaining tissue if my endo measured > 2 cm and it was only at 6 mm. She said we need to wait at least 6 weeks and 1 menstrual cycle until we try FET and that it will take anywhere from 4 - 12 weeks for aunt flo to come. I told her we wanted it to be a couple months from now so we could recuperate emotionally and she said that should work out great assuming Aunt Flo cooperates.

I don't know if I mentioned but we've been considering changing clinics. Well my clinic's success rate for embryos of my quality is 40-50%, and that of the clinic we may be switching to is 50% overall. Not that much difference, so I think we'll round out our FETs at the current clinic. Hopefully that will do the trick!!!

No news yet on the chromosome tests on the baby. Apparently they have to stimulate the tissue to grow more so it can take up to 6 weeks.

Cathy, thank you so much for passing along that poem. DH and I both sobbed at reading it just like you did. I think it's helpful for the grieving process to get those cries in. Now go have yourself a fabulous vacation!!! I'm sure it's probably fine to get a little nooky in.

[riogirl71]

Hi kerpupples - so good to hear that you are moving along and thinking of your little frosties. Keep us posted!

Here is a little dance for Aunt Flo to come:



Good luck!

[kerpupples]

Rio, I'm going to ask that you give me more of those little dancing smileys when my FET comes around.

Aunt Flo is here!!! I started spotting yesterday...exactly 28 days after my miscarriage. Today she has unpacked her bags and settled in. I fully expected to have to wait at least another 2 weeks.

Last Wednesday my HCG was still at 41. I suspect my RE will want us to wait another cycle before we try our FET, which is fine because that's about the timeframe we had in mind anyway.

[Hoekey]

Kerpupples It's very good to see you back. How are you? Wow, you think maybe you get to do your FET in about two weeks? I'll be praying for you and DH. Are you excited? Nervous? Having positive feelings? Negative? These may seem like silly questions but I am just wondering what I may go through when DH and I decide to give it another go. I so hope that this works for you. God knows we deserve it!

I can't believe AF is coming for you already. I think that I am only now ovulating and the only reason I think that is because just this morning I woke up with tender BBs. I also had a rash starting last Friday like the one I got when I was on the progesterone shots right after FET. What the heck is up with that? I am not even on BCP or any hormones. It's starting to go away now, but man, I was just starting to get my smooth skin back. I wonder why, when I am not stimming or anything. I don't know if you happened along my post back in January when I had the rash the first time but it is the same thing. It looks like someone poured red ants all over my chest and neck, this time it even went below my breasts onto my ribcage. They burn and have little liquid white heads. I went to bed on Thursday fine and woke up Friday covered. When I say covered I mean covered, not an inch between clusters (they come in clusters of four and five). I am a very clean person but this has made me feel grimey and yucky. I could understand if I didn't bathe or whatever but this HAS to be hormonal and that's almost more frustrating. I guess if they came because I was a pig then I could fix the problem with cleaning up my act, but right now there is nothing to do about it. The weather is so nice right now and I have had to wear high necked shirts since Friday. But like I said it's nearly gone, at least the red, liquid part, it does leave my skin bumpy to the touch for at least two weeks (it did last time anyway).

OMG, I have done it again. What is it with me? I go babbling on about myself everytime I get on here.

Anyway, GOOD LUCK!!!!!! Is all that I wanted to say and that it was really nice to see you back .

[riogirl71]

Woo-hoo Aunt flow is here for you!!! I can't wait to hear about your BFP! Please keep us posted! I will do many happy and good luck dances for you!

Hoekey - any idea when you are trying again?

Much Baby dust for you!!!!!

[kerpupples]

Hey ladies. Sorry to disappear on you, but I was SO frustrated.

The AF I was posting about was NOT a real AF at all, just some light spotting. I didn't get a REAL AF until July 10th!!! We're all set for a FET this Friday and are super excited.

Hoekey, are you still around? How are you doing?

Rio, I read that you are dealing with GD. My sister in law had that for both her pregnancies (she was overweight) and her kids are 9 and 5 now, healthy as can be!

[riogirl71]

Hi Kerpupples! So good to see you back! I am so excited that you are doing a FET this Friday! How many will you transfer? You have to keep me posted! I am here crossing my fingers!!!! Wooo-hooo! Yes, GD has been a B*** I have to go on insulin now, and I wasn't even at risk for it, go figure! Thanks for letting me know that your sil had healthy babies! It is hard not to worry about the little bean!

Good luck sweetie and lots of baby dust for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kerpupples]

We hope to transfer 3 again - seemed to be a good number for us last time! I'll definitely keep you posted.

[Hoekey]

HEY KERPUPPLES!!!! Good luck on Friday!!!!!! It's so good to see you again. I will be praying for you. This time will be THE time!!!! I have a good feeling about it.

Lot's of Sticky Baby Dust headed your way!!!

Hoekey

[Vickyp]

Hi Kerpupples

I just wanted to wish you luck for Friday and to say that my little boy was from a FET - my first attempt at FET. So GOOD LUCK - I am keeping my fingers & toes crossed for you. Vicky