Unfortunately my this morning's ultrasound and bloodwork wasn't so great so my doc referred my to a u/s specialist this afternoon and I was given the bad news.
The pregnancy is no more..... and I am going to have a D&C done so they can test the tissue and see if there were any genetic abnormalities or any other problems since now both my IVF cycles have ended in miscarriage.
I was trying to hold back my tears on my way out of the docs office and all the way home.... as soon as I opened my door......the tears came and they won't stop.
I know there are so many of you that have had this procedure done many more times than I have and I don't know how you keep the strength to continue on... right now I feel like my world is collapsing and like we will never have children of our own.
Thank you to everyone who answered my questions.....
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amysbabies
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Thank you to everyone who answered my questions.....
IVF1: BFP 02/08 - Chemical 4 wks.
IVF2: BFP 06/08 - Miscarriage 6 wks.
IVF3: BFP 11/09 - Chemical
IVF4: dec/jan Dear Lord..please let this be the one.
IVF2: BFP 06/08 - Miscarriage 6 wks.
IVF3: BFP 11/09 - Chemical
IVF4: dec/jan Dear Lord..please let this be the one.
Dear Amy,
Please don't lose hope. I know what you are going through. I had also so many dreams with my last pg and when I had the baby in my arms delivered still birth at 17 weeks, I couldn't even cry. I couldn't believe that this could happen. God can be so harsh with me. But then I got the chance to get pg again. It is good that they are going to do all the tests and I know third time will be your lucky charm. Just be strong and keep faith. You and your dh will be in my prayers.
Please don't lose hope. I know what you are going through. I had also so many dreams with my last pg and when I had the baby in my arms delivered still birth at 17 weeks, I couldn't even cry. I couldn't believe that this could happen. God can be so harsh with me. But then I got the chance to get pg again. It is good that they are going to do all the tests and I know third time will be your lucky charm. Just be strong and keep faith. You and your dh will be in my prayers.
Annie
[img]http://bd.lilypie.com/y5yPm5.png[/img]
[img]http://bd.lilypie.com/y5yPm5.png[/img]
You will find the stregnth to continue on like the rest of us do. After losing my babies at 22 weeks I said I was done and not going to go on. Well, I did, had another mc, and now am almost 18 weeks preggo. For me, the only way to get through the pain was to focus on the next IVF schedule I could get on. Just push foreward, it'l help with the pain.
I wish you all the best.
I wish you all the best.
Jessica
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10723;30/st/20081221/n/Lila+Frances/dt/-3/k/0a8f/age.png[/img]
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Oh Amy! I am so sorry and I can feel your pain.
I was exactly 6 weeks 3 days last time when I started bleeding, first it was brown in colour which later turned into bright red with some clots. Even then we could see the foetus but with very low heartbeat which 77 hbpm. Docs assured me and I was also hopeful that I might have lost one of the twins and will successfully continue from here. I believed that God can't be so harsh with me, after all I had conceived after 3 fresh cycles and One FET cycle. My first beta was also very healthy @ 152. So technically nothing was wrong but then after a week the doc could find any sac and the uterus had already shrunk. Medically, all the products of conception were out of my system with in that particular week. My baby left without letting me know about it. However it was termed as m/c due to chromosomal abnormality.
And I was not lucky as you, as there were no tests done for me. By God's grace I was again pregnant this time with my 4th fresh cycle. Sometimes we don't understand HIS ways.
Amy I know its going to be very hard for you but take your time to grieve and muster all the strength again to go for another cycle. The problem with you can be as simple as blood clotting disorder. We cannot give up!!
Sending you warm hugs across the oceans and continents!!!
I was exactly 6 weeks 3 days last time when I started bleeding, first it was brown in colour which later turned into bright red with some clots. Even then we could see the foetus but with very low heartbeat which 77 hbpm. Docs assured me and I was also hopeful that I might have lost one of the twins and will successfully continue from here. I believed that God can't be so harsh with me, after all I had conceived after 3 fresh cycles and One FET cycle. My first beta was also very healthy @ 152. So technically nothing was wrong but then after a week the doc could find any sac and the uterus had already shrunk. Medically, all the products of conception were out of my system with in that particular week. My baby left without letting me know about it. However it was termed as m/c due to chromosomal abnormality.
And I was not lucky as you, as there were no tests done for me. By God's grace I was again pregnant this time with my 4th fresh cycle. Sometimes we don't understand HIS ways.
Amy I know its going to be very hard for you but take your time to grieve and muster all the strength again to go for another cycle. The problem with you can be as simple as blood clotting disorder. We cannot give up!!
Sending you warm hugs across the oceans and continents!!!
Me,DH-35
3 ICSIs-BFN
FET-BFP/mc@7wks
4#ICSI-BFP
Anay came on 17th FEB, 2009
http://s251.photobucket.com/albums/gg29 ... C05346.jpg
3 ICSIs-BFN
FET-BFP/mc@7wks
4#ICSI-BFP
Anay came on 17th FEB, 2009
http://s251.photobucket.com/albums/gg29 ... C05346.jpg
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alreadyblessed
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- Location: NEW YORK
Amy~
I have never met you, but I really feel as though all the women on this site share a very special bond. I cried when I read your post, and I will be saying prayers for you and your DH. Nothing that we can say will take your pain away, I just pray that you find the strength to get through, and don't give up. The fact that they are doing testing is so wonderful. With that, they will most probably be able to find what the underlying factor is, and it may be something as simple as giving you another medication when you do your cycle. God has his hand on everything, and right now I pray that he gives you and your DH the strength to get through this very difficult time. I didn't think I would try to get pg again after my 2 m/cs, but time helps us along, and as a result I decided to try again. Stay strong! you are in all of our thoughts. God Bless
I have never met you, but I really feel as though all the women on this site share a very special bond. I cried when I read your post, and I will be saying prayers for you and your DH. Nothing that we can say will take your pain away, I just pray that you find the strength to get through, and don't give up. The fact that they are doing testing is so wonderful. With that, they will most probably be able to find what the underlying factor is, and it may be something as simple as giving you another medication when you do your cycle. God has his hand on everything, and right now I pray that he gives you and your DH the strength to get through this very difficult time. I didn't think I would try to get pg again after my 2 m/cs, but time helps us along, and as a result I decided to try again. Stay strong! you are in all of our thoughts. God Bless
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kerpupples
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I'm so sorry Amy. We went through the same thing in March. The devastation is unknowable until you go through it yourself.
Stay close to DH right now, you need each other. Do you have any frosties?
We too had our tissue tested, and the results were entirely inconclusive. They found normal female chromosomes which they said could have been my own. If I were you I would ask them if they can take some of your tissue to compare so that they know which is the baby's and which is yours.
Stay close to DH right now, you need each other. Do you have any frosties?
We too had our tissue tested, and the results were entirely inconclusive. They found normal female chromosomes which they said could have been my own. If I were you I would ask them if they can take some of your tissue to compare so that they know which is the baby's and which is yours.
Amy
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!
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amysbabies
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- Location: NY
Surprisingly this morning I'm feeling a lot better. I thought I would be more devastated than the 1st time, but I feel like I'm more accepting and at peace this time around. I have blood work tomorrow and my d&c on thursday morning. I hope everything goes smoothly and I recover quickly so dh and I can finally go on vacation and do some relaxing by the beach. Then we can start on IVF#3.
kerpupples: I'm sorry for your lose too....I will mention the tissue comparison to my doc..thank you for that info. Unfortunately we never have enough eggs to make frosties..so we always have to start a fresh cycle.
alreadyblessed: Thank you so much for your encouraging words...I feel as though I am stronger now than I was before. and God will get us through this. I know he has a plan for us....we just don't know what it is yet. I'm sorry about your 2 m/c.....and I'm glad that you got the strength to try again. You are in my thoughts as well.
sonu911: You have been through a lot...and I'm so glad that your pregnancy is going well with this 4th cycle. Thank you for your warm words...nobody knows but God what is really happening and why... I'm sure this is all in some way the path to something wonderful.
jesjes: I can't even imagine the pain that you experienced at 22 wks...and then the one after that... I am so sorry..... You are extremely brave for going on and now you are being blessed. I feel like my pain is nothing compared to what yours was.... Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.
amazu: I can't imagine the pain you experienced ..... I am so sorry..... but I'm so happy that you're being blessed with another pregnancy and I hope that all goes well and smoothly to full term. I thought we would be march buddies....but it looks like I'll be moving down a few more months. We won't give up....we'll try again for #3, but not until we take our long awaited vacation first and clear our minds.
Thank you again everyone.... BABY DUST TO EVERYONE!!!
kerpupples: I'm sorry for your lose too....I will mention the tissue comparison to my doc..thank you for that info. Unfortunately we never have enough eggs to make frosties..so we always have to start a fresh cycle.
alreadyblessed: Thank you so much for your encouraging words...I feel as though I am stronger now than I was before. and God will get us through this. I know he has a plan for us....we just don't know what it is yet. I'm sorry about your 2 m/c.....and I'm glad that you got the strength to try again. You are in my thoughts as well.
sonu911: You have been through a lot...and I'm so glad that your pregnancy is going well with this 4th cycle. Thank you for your warm words...nobody knows but God what is really happening and why... I'm sure this is all in some way the path to something wonderful.
jesjes: I can't even imagine the pain that you experienced at 22 wks...and then the one after that... I am so sorry..... You are extremely brave for going on and now you are being blessed. I feel like my pain is nothing compared to what yours was.... Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.
amazu: I can't imagine the pain you experienced ..... I am so sorry..... but I'm so happy that you're being blessed with another pregnancy and I hope that all goes well and smoothly to full term. I thought we would be march buddies....but it looks like I'll be moving down a few more months. We won't give up....we'll try again for #3, but not until we take our long awaited vacation first and clear our minds.
Thank you again everyone.... BABY DUST TO EVERYONE!!!
IVF1: BFP 02/08 - Chemical 4 wks.
IVF2: BFP 06/08 - Miscarriage 6 wks.
IVF3: BFP 11/09 - Chemical
IVF4: dec/jan Dear Lord..please let this be the one.
IVF2: BFP 06/08 - Miscarriage 6 wks.
IVF3: BFP 11/09 - Chemical
IVF4: dec/jan Dear Lord..please let this be the one.
Amy, I am glad your doing better this AM. Its never easy to loose a baby, and I wish that no one ever had to go through it.
Again, I will be thinking of you Thurs.
I hope that you and DH can have a great vacation, come back well rested and emtionally ready to get right back into it. 3rd times a charm, you'll get your baby, and maybe even two!!!
Again, I will be thinking of you Thurs.
I hope that you and DH can have a great vacation, come back well rested and emtionally ready to get right back into it. 3rd times a charm, you'll get your baby, and maybe even two!!!
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