Double Trouble

[buckeyegal]

Woodcliff--wow! Your daughter is already holding her bottle? Impressive! It took us until 9 or 10 months to do that....I thought that day would never come! How's it going with the sitter situation? DId you get it all worked out?

sugabeanz--how are you feeling? I never got the nausea like that...no advice. Just hope you feel better!

Sameera---congrats on being an Aunt! That will be so fun for you and your sis to go through motherhood together! Yeah, I got the big ol' veins when I was preggo, but they eventually went away after I was done bfeeding. Can't wait to hear the genders of your babies! My bet is 2 girls~--not sure why, that's just my guess!:)

HEre's something for you gals to look forward to---last night we were playing outside. I finally had THAT moment--two babies running in OPPOSITE directions! Braeden was running towards the back yard and fell, while Ellie ran towards the street! Yikes! I had to let braeden fall and cry while I ran and scooped Ellie up. Even a neighbor was running over to stop her! I think it might be time for leashes... I'm going to try and post new pics on the bucket tonight.

[sugabeanzs]

HELP! Well, I had the babies! They are perfectly healthy just need a little oxygen and warmth. HOWEVER I have been pumping for 5 days tomorrow and NOTHING. I am getting nothing. I pump every 3 hours (hospital grade pump). When will it come in? Will it come in at all? I went and bought an herbal supplement today that is supposed to help with preemies. Have any of you ladies experienced this?

[kholtan]

Congrats Sugabeanzs! You'll have to give us all the details when you can! They must be so itty bitty!
I know exactly what you dealing with! My milk NEVER really "came in" like people described it. First of all, did the NICU nurses describe to you the size of their tummy? It's like a small marble and that is all the more milk they can even hold the first few days. Therefor, your body knows to make what it needs and often that leads to very little at first. Secondly, nothing brings your milk in like the actual babies breastfeeding. Since you said they are on oxygen, I'm assuming they get milk thru the gavage tubes? Your milk should multiply TONS when you start nursing the babies to breast. Don't be discouraged at all. I took regland for 2 weeks to help my milk as well. Also, make sure you drinking enough water. VERY important! Lastly, don't be afraid to contact your lactation gal in your hospital. What you are going through is very normal and it doesn't mean you won't be able to breastfeed. It just means you are going to need to put in a bit more effort at first and stay determined. It was a lot of work but I am still solely breastfeeding my kids and I LOVE it! I am so happy I stuck it out and it really is the sweetest part of every morning with both babies.
Keep up the good work, PICTURES!!!!! Please! WE love the little ones and congrats again!

Kim~ AGHGHG! Both directions! I can imagine since my little fella take off in all directions already. Thankfully Annelise jsut loves to watch him go! The new pics are great! Is Braeden catching up to Miss E or is it just my imagination? Wish you lived closer so I could squeeze them!

Kimi~ Sounds like things are going great for you! I read you blog all the time and the pea faces are super sweet. I still need to try the video thing but just haven't had the time yet! So glad to hear things are getting easier as far as taking the kids out. If you ever need a break just send tehm my way! Although you may never get them back!

Sameera~ Congrats to you on the new family member! I'm counting down the days until we all find out what you are having! I didn't have the boob thing but then again I barely have boobs! Keep us posted!

The kids and I have been SUPER busy lately! The zoo 3 times in 10 days, the Nature Center, NICU picnic reunion, river, lake, birthday parties, and the best of all. . . .I tried to color my own hair in an attempt to save myself the $130 a month. . . .I'm now ORANGE!!!!!!!!! I get it fixed on Monday but walking around this way all weekend should teach me a lesson. A few of my girlfirends came over, a few bottles of wine later, and I was the sacrificial lamb! Did I mention we just got back from a 40th b-day tonight? Yeah, I look great! Thank god it's just hair and can be colored!

Better run since DH thinks we are having some quality time right now.

Take care everyone!
Kimberly

[stephjim]

Suga, wow you went from complaining of nausea to having the babies. You have to sit down as soon as you have time and tell us how that happened. I am soo happy for you I know you were worried about making it this far. I am glad the babies are healthy. How long do they predict them to stay in the NICU? Anyways I just wanted to say congrats and can't wait to see pics.

Hello to everyone else. Sorry no more personals but suga just blew me away. We are doing well. Still working Go back to the doc on the 28th for the yucky glucose test and to the high risk doc for the next US. The fetal echocardiogram was passed with flying colors on both babies. They were at 21.5 weeks both almost a pound and my cervix was actually longer than it was the visit before. So it is holding them in tight. I felt the first really good kick last night and then I told Jim and he put his hand there and I believe, Emily, kicked again much harder and he felt it. It was really exciting. I have been feeling little ones but not a really good one. So now the soccer game begins in there.

Great to see everyone is doing well. Talk to you soon.

[tolbee]

Just wanted to congratulate Sugabeanz for the birth of healthy babies! I had issues with milk coming also and it actually never really came until I started taking herbs and Reglan. I agree with Kimberley that babies do a very good job of increasing the milk supply by suckling. The babies do much better job of emptying breasts. You can Kangaroo hold your babies as much as possible. I regret not insisting on nursing the babies while at NICU. Take care!
Kimi

[sugabeanzs]

Well, I am now taking herbs which will hopefully let something come in! I am still not even getting colostrum. But I talked to the lactation lady today and she said that since they are so early, that I have PCOS that it may take a long time for anything to come in but not to give up. So I will keep pumping!

Here is the story though for those who were wondering...On Aug 4 around 8:15 my water broke and by 10:15 I was in full labor. They did not stop it since I had my steroid shots. They were born Aug 5 at 1:39 and 1:40 AM. The c-section went great and I am not even in too much pain now which makes me happy. The girls are doing great! They both got a 9 on their apgar when they were first born. They also tested at 33 weeks (via body movements or something or other). So they are doing great. Both need just a little oxygen as they get tired and Mackenzie (baby A) has the cpap on to help her lungs stay open a little better. They are both feeding formula via the tube in their tummy. Gaining their weight back slowly. Really they have no major issues. They are just tiny. Mackenzie only gets 1cc of formula because her tummy was not ready to digest but they said that should go away here soon. Brooke eats 4 cc and loves to eat. She already shows the signs when she is hungry. So they are doing great which makes me happy. I do not know how long they will stay in the NICU. Hopefully they will gain the weight quickly and meet all the other milestones and be able to come home asap as I do not like leaving them there at night.

So all is well! I will keep you all updated as much as possible! I have to get the nursery ready now that I can move around. Bed rest really did not let me get prepared.

[buckeyegal]

Suga--CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Yeah! So glad to hear your girls are here safely. Good luck with the next few days....I'm sure they will make LOTS of progress and come home soon. How much do they weigh? As for milk supply, I'm sure the fact that they were early may be delaying things a bit, right? Just keep pumping...will the NICU let them suckle? If so, get those girls on your ta-ta's now! Even when I delivered at 37 weeks, it took a good 6 or 7 days for my real milk to come in...and when it did----HOLY COW! My boobs were busting, they were so engorged! I hope the herbs help things move along.

Kimberly--love the recent pics of your little ones! They're almost one!!!! I hope the party planning's going well....sorry to hear about your hair. I did that once right after college, when I was broke....never again! Seriously, $130 a month? That is a lot. Do you color or highlight or both? I highlight about 2 or 3 times a year. It costs me that much, but I don't do it as often...for now! ha ha. As for B and E...I'm not sure, but I think Ellie still has a couple pounds on Braeden. He's still so skinny. But, I think she's slimming down (from all that walking). Let's hope Braeden doesn't slim down too!

steph--great appointment! Yeah! And congrats on the kicks....I miss that feeling!

Gotta run---I'm watching the Olympics!

[stephjim]

Suga how big were they when they were born?

[sameera]

suga - Holy crap!! I didn't know you had your lil babies. How did you go from being on bedrest to popping these lil ones either way I'm glad you and the babies are doing well.

Congratulations and I wish I could help advise you on breast milk stuff but i dunno what to expect myself. Hope herbs help!

Take care

Sameera

[sugabeanzs]

Hello ladies! I was just wondering if anyone else here had their babies in the NICU? Seems like most of you were blessed and got to full term or close to it. It is just an emotional roller coaster and I feel like I have no one to talk to that has had or has their babies in the NICU. So I posted a thread on parents after fertility so we shall see.

Pumping is getting a little better SLOWLY! I am getting about 6cc every time I pump (not enough to support a baby on). So hopefully taking the meds I am on will help more and more eventually. I will give it 2 months and if my supply does not totally come in then I think I will just formula. So at least they will get some breast milk in the beginning.

Mackenzie has had trouble with her tummy digesting food so they stopped her feedings. She was getting knots in her intestines from not being able to digest. So hopefully that will straighten itself out here soon. She also has her heart rate drop a few times a day so they think she was getting an infection because it just started out of the blue so they put her on 2 antibiotics. So hopefully that will do the trick there. Still no oxygen needed and she is almost off her flow that keeps her lungs open. So she is doing great lung wise.

Brooke is getting 6 cc of food every 3 hours and gaining weight at about an oz a day which is great. She has been off her flow for about 3 days now. No tummy or heart issues there. For her being the smaller one she is doing a little better. So we just have to push her vibes onto her sister!

Other than that, I am an emotional wreck and feel guilty that I could not carry to term. Did I not do bed rest enough, I should have stayed in the hospital on bed rest, etc etc. So when I go to church tomorrow I am going to ask to speak with the bishop on how to deal with it so I do not tear myself up about it as much as I have been.

Also, the nurse scared the heck out of me last night because she said that I needed to talk to the doctor every time something new happened. But I think asking the nurses should be fine for they know what is going on most of the time. She had no idea what the meds were for though and that aggravated me. She said she was new and that I should talk to the doctor. Immediately I thought something was wrong with Kenzie. She was like Brooke is doing great and Kenzie is doing ok. I do not know why it made me so upset last night.

My poor husband has to deal with a lot of breakdowns lately lol. I love him to death for it because I know I am hard to deal with at the moment.

Well, I am off to see them for the night. Hope you ladies are doing great!

Sameera: How are you and the babies doing? When are you due again??

[kholtan]

Sugabeanzs~ You know I rarely have time to type lately but I just know that you are in my same exact shoes. Pre-term babies and the guilt of the "what if" questions looming above your head. Let me help you out.
My pregnancy was text book. Easy as pie! No MS, no pains, no emotional anythings at alll! I felt great and gained very little weight and thought I was a super hero! I had contractions all along but nothing but was continually told they were BH's. What did I know so I simply believed them. Little did I know I was right when I had said "I am in Labor!"
At 32 weeks I finally got the proof I needed and was admitted to full time bedrest in the hospital. Mag was at it's highest dose and I was itchy to go!

I knew in my head that staying put was the right thing to do. Of course it was. My heart and my head were at battle. I was stir crazy and my body was aching to get up and go!!! Finally after 2 weeks I was ready to deliver! At 34 weeks I delivered my babies and although I knew it was early I had great hope! I had done my best and my body wouldn't stop!

I had a placenta abruptions w/ my son and ended up having an Emergency c-section. I was so confident in my Dr.that I wasn't smart enough to be scared. 30% of all babies that have plancenta abruption die. WHOA! Now I got worried!

They were small at 4.13 and4.10 oz. but doing great. Bodie needed a quick dose of surfactant and so he was ventilated for 20 hours but he was not given any oxygen at all. Annelise was on C-Pap for about 4 hours but that was it for her as well. Mine were what they call "Feeders and Growers!" Call if whatever you want because to me it was still scary! My babies had needles and tubes everywhere!

Had I failed? Had I let the babies down? Had I done something wrong? Was this my fault? Were they there because I hadn't tried hard enough? Would this effect their entire life? Would I be to blame? Can they die??

OMG, the questions came. . . . . .. . and they went! It was so hard to describe. Those first 16 days were amazing and yet so scary. They were the best of days and the worst. They left me feeling so thrilled and somedays so defeated. How come? Why? More so, why me???? Why these two babies that seemed to be more wanted than any other baby on the planet! Why????

The days past and I knew my heart needed to take the plunge! I am a girl that entertains only one theory in life. "Do not entertain the negative!"
Do not!!!! There is nothing good that will come of it and there is nothing good that it will flow onto you. My choice was made and I would see it thru!

After my what I call "Come to Jesus" moment", I knew things would change. I chose to be grateful for every single second that I had. I chose to be grateful for every moment, every miny milestone, every feeding, every poopy diaper, every smile, every feeding and every second we could touch. It seemed to me that the minutes turned into years but they were years I didn't want to miss. I embrased every nurse and staff member I could and asked for help when I needed it. I know I wasn't alone but I had to find those that shared such an amazing time. It wasn't easy but you have to stay strong!

They came home after 16 days. I was there from 7 am- 10 or 11 pm every day. . .straight! I never left! Sometimes I would get there by 5:30 am and I would just pray until their next feeding. I'm not even a religous person but only God could console me at all.

The guilt. Sure, I have it. I would tell you not to but it won't do any good. Guilt is what it is and we all have it. You did your very best and as long as you know that then let yourself free!!!! Our bodies are not machines. We cannot program them to do something they are not capable of. We can hope and dream but the reality is they can only do so much.

Brooke and Kenzie will be just fine. They have a loving mommy and daddy. They are already blessed x's 1,000,000!!!!! You are doing what you can and do not feel guilty at all. The best thing you can do is feel great about you and stay positive for you and them!

You are loved and we hope this passes as the babies get better!
XOXOXOOXOXOOOXOXOOXOXOXOOX,
Kimberly

[sugabeanzs]

Thank you kholtan, that was very nice to hear indeed. I am trying to stay out of the negative and it is hard. I wish I could stay there with them ALL day long but we only have one car and the husband works odd shift and I have to take care of the dogs all day while he sleeps. So I am ready for my mom to come up and visit next weekend so we can stay there together all day. But that was so nice to hear, and yes I cried! It is hard not to blame myself and I have been praying to get strength with that. We had the same text book pregnancy till the end as well. Sounds like you and I have a lot in common with our pregnancies. Thank you so much again. Truly helpful!

[tolbee]

Sugarbeanz, we always wonder what if's and I also blamed myself for preterm labor. If I had rested more, didn't laugh so hard the night before... for so many silly reasons, I did blame myself. Looking at my babies now at 6 months smiling, that emotion is a distant memory. I know it's hard to leave them in NICU, but when you look back it's part of your unique memories and experience raising your babies.

I know it's difficult, but know that things will get better everyday. Sounds like your girls are doing well. Each milestones they achieve, they are getting closer to coming home with you. Enjoy your tiny bundles because they get so big so quickly!

Take care!

Kimi

[sameera]

Suga - I'm sorry you are having to deal with all this - but please don't blame your self. They both are in good care and I'm sure they will be fine - just hang in there

As far as me - I'm doing fine and so are the babies. We go for an ultrasound on Aug 25th - cannot wait to find out what we are having.

I'm taking my MIL, DH and DD for that - figured my dd would have a blast watching both the babies kick eachother in mommy's tummy!

I'm due on Dec 29th and I'm hoping all is well till then

you take care of your self and don't think about negative stuff - I know it's difficult but you made this far - everything will work out

Sameera

[buckeyegal]

Sugabeanz....Oh, I just want to hug you! I'm so sorry you're going through all this. I have no advice for you on the NICU, but I will say that it is totally normal to be a WRECK after your babies are born. Not only do you have the stress of seeing your little girls in the NICU, but your body is stressed about BFing, you're probably sleep deprived and your hormones are WHACKED right now! Hang in there. You are doing great. Your girls are doing great. We are here for you whenever you need us. Vent away. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. I hope happier days head your way soon.