I have just completed my 4th failed IVF. The first i had a chemical the rest were BFNs despite goodlooking embryos. We did PGD first 2 cycles and more than 50% of the embryos were good.
I am in the process of trying to decide whether to try again with the same Drs or switch.We just want to have our own baby so badly. DH has no family and my parents have no grandchildren. I am not ready to go to donor egg yet..
It would just be great for my PMA if could hear some success stories.. and what you may have done differently to achieve success in the end.Thanks in advance.. I am really strugling
_________________
anyone have success after 4 failed IVFs need encouragement
anyone have success after 4 failed IVFs need encouragement
Me 43 dh 65
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
-
Literatriz
- Regular
- Posts: 128
- Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 10:42 pm
- Location: USA
change strategies
Hi,
So sorry to hear about your BFN. I saw your age and the age of your DH and I think you may want to consider other options, depending on the possible reason for the failures. Good looking eggs...but after 40 they start not developing as expected and the rate of successful pregnancies are much lower. Age is a factor and maybe you and your DH are willing to consider donation - real donation may be more afordable abroad as in some countries you pay an absurd amount of money for the eggs.
I hope you will find some calm time to explore other alternatives. Parenthood can be experienced in many ways...hope you both find the best as soon as possible!
Best wishes, Literatriz
So sorry to hear about your BFN. I saw your age and the age of your DH and I think you may want to consider other options, depending on the possible reason for the failures. Good looking eggs...but after 40 they start not developing as expected and the rate of successful pregnancies are much lower. Age is a factor and maybe you and your DH are willing to consider donation - real donation may be more afordable abroad as in some countries you pay an absurd amount of money for the eggs.
I hope you will find some calm time to explore other alternatives. Parenthood can be experienced in many ways...hope you both find the best as soon as possible!
Best wishes, Literatriz
me 50, dh 54
2 BFN after IVF in Brazil
1 BFP after IVF in Brazil (Clinic Origen, thanks!)
Three little girls born February 27th!!!
2 BFN after IVF in Brazil
1 BFP after IVF in Brazil (Clinic Origen, thanks!)
Three little girls born February 27th!!!
Literatriz
We are not willing to try other options at this point.. we have many personal reasons why we feel it is too soon to give up and that having our own genetic child is extrememly important to us.
SO What i really need to hear is the encouragement and success stories of people that have had success after failure...
Congratulations on your successful transfer..
We are not willing to try other options at this point.. we have many personal reasons why we feel it is too soon to give up and that having our own genetic child is extrememly important to us.
SO What i really need to hear is the encouragement and success stories of people that have had success after failure...
Congratulations on your successful transfer..
Me 43 dh 65
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
I had 4 failed IVF cycles. I tried my 5th IVF at a different location. 5th time was the charm. I am now 5 months pregnant with twin boys. Don't let anyone ever discourage you. Always trust your gut. I wasn't ready for donor eggs either. All I can tell you is switching edocronoligist worked for me. The labs at some of these facilites are less than stellar. My only regret is not switching sooner.
NY4thtry,
Yes...what you need right now is to stay hopeful...only you can decide what your next step should be.
I'm sorry that I can't answer your direct question...but, I know how it feels to struggle with staying positive. For me, it is a huge issue...the negative thoughts have been so prominent. I've been trying different things to stay positive...yoga, accupuncture, etc. I found a really good book..."Conquering Infertility" by Dr. Alice Domar...it's a mind/body approach...meaning, different relaxation exercises, breathing exercises...etc. all related to infertility. I know that may sound a bit quirky...but, for me it has helped a lot. I'm in NYC, as I think you are...I like my clinic and doc, but the thing that was really missing for me was that no one was taking care of my soul. So, I realized that I needed to do that. Some clinics have mind/body fertility classes that have been proven to help with the stress and anxiety that goes a long with our struggles. I know NYU has one. I also found a mind/body infertility group down by Union Square that I'm thinking about checking out.
Anyway...when I ordered the book from Amazon, I ordered 2 copies by mistake and I don't know what to do with the second copy...I'd be more than willing to send it to you...but, I don't know how you would give me your info. in a confidential way on this site.
Are you in NYC? I thought I read that on a different post. What clinic are you at?
Anyway...sorry that I could not help more with your particular situation. I just wish our doctors would put more emphasis on the psychological and emotional effects of infertility...it is very real and very difficult to deal with on your own.
I wish you only wonderful things...and stick with your gut!
Yes...what you need right now is to stay hopeful...only you can decide what your next step should be.
I'm sorry that I can't answer your direct question...but, I know how it feels to struggle with staying positive. For me, it is a huge issue...the negative thoughts have been so prominent. I've been trying different things to stay positive...yoga, accupuncture, etc. I found a really good book..."Conquering Infertility" by Dr. Alice Domar...it's a mind/body approach...meaning, different relaxation exercises, breathing exercises...etc. all related to infertility. I know that may sound a bit quirky...but, for me it has helped a lot. I'm in NYC, as I think you are...I like my clinic and doc, but the thing that was really missing for me was that no one was taking care of my soul. So, I realized that I needed to do that. Some clinics have mind/body fertility classes that have been proven to help with the stress and anxiety that goes a long with our struggles. I know NYU has one. I also found a mind/body infertility group down by Union Square that I'm thinking about checking out.
Anyway...when I ordered the book from Amazon, I ordered 2 copies by mistake and I don't know what to do with the second copy...I'd be more than willing to send it to you...but, I don't know how you would give me your info. in a confidential way on this site.
Are you in NYC? I thought I read that on a different post. What clinic are you at?
Anyway...sorry that I could not help more with your particular situation. I just wish our doctors would put more emphasis on the psychological and emotional effects of infertility...it is very real and very difficult to deal with on your own.
I wish you only wonderful things...and stick with your gut!
snapper
Thank you for your sweet offer.. I would love it and would be happy to reimburse you. I will send you my address on private message..I just read the mind body fertility connection by James Schwartz and am also thinking of doing hypnosois. I am in the mode of no stone unturned..
what clinic are you at? I am at Cornell.
I agree that people are not focused on the emptional aspect.. it has been consuming my life.. I am doing acupuncture and switched acupuncturists... I am taking the herbs even though the Dr doesnt want me too and i mad an appointment with someone who specializes in Mayan Interuterine massage.
IL 34
Do you mind if i ask what they did differently on the last try.. in terms of protocol etc if anything.. Also how had yu responded in prior cycles?
I AM thinking of switching REs .. but i dont think in my case it was the lab.. we are at Cornell which is considered to be one of the best in the world..
I have however interviewed two other Drs Norbert Gleicher and Geoffrey Sher. I met with Mr Dr at Cornell yesterday and he really wants me to give it another try there.. i am torn.. Thinking of one more time there but adding some of the things the other Drs want without telling them.. like taking DHEA which Gliecher insists on for a woman my age..
Thanks girls for your support it really means alot
Thank you for your sweet offer.. I would love it and would be happy to reimburse you. I will send you my address on private message..I just read the mind body fertility connection by James Schwartz and am also thinking of doing hypnosois. I am in the mode of no stone unturned..
what clinic are you at? I am at Cornell.
I agree that people are not focused on the emptional aspect.. it has been consuming my life.. I am doing acupuncture and switched acupuncturists... I am taking the herbs even though the Dr doesnt want me too and i mad an appointment with someone who specializes in Mayan Interuterine massage.
IL 34
Do you mind if i ask what they did differently on the last try.. in terms of protocol etc if anything.. Also how had yu responded in prior cycles?
I AM thinking of switching REs .. but i dont think in my case it was the lab.. we are at Cornell which is considered to be one of the best in the world..
I have however interviewed two other Drs Norbert Gleicher and Geoffrey Sher. I met with Mr Dr at Cornell yesterday and he really wants me to give it another try there.. i am torn.. Thinking of one more time there but adding some of the things the other Drs want without telling them.. like taking DHEA which Gliecher insists on for a woman my age..
Thanks girls for your support it really means alot
Me 43 dh 65
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
Hi
8th cycle for me, maybe not exactly what you want to hear
We also had a postive on cycle 5 but m/c at 6 weeks. Looking back now I can say that helped spur us on, just knowing that it could work.
Everybodys different, the right number of cycles is your choice and the right type of alternative therapy is your choice.
Our 8th cycle we had a blastocyst transfer (our first) and I tried Reiki (very relaxing, calming and de-stressing). I never switched clinics, I liked that you dealt with the same people, it made it easier (although not that many ivf clinics in Scotland)
Also I started this when I was 28 and 7 embryos was about the most I ever got so....
I'd really recommend reiki, it was perfect for me, even my cynical husband noticed a huge difference in me.
Best of luck.
Wendy x
8th cycle for me, maybe not exactly what you want to hear
We also had a postive on cycle 5 but m/c at 6 weeks. Looking back now I can say that helped spur us on, just knowing that it could work.
Everybodys different, the right number of cycles is your choice and the right type of alternative therapy is your choice.
Our 8th cycle we had a blastocyst transfer (our first) and I tried Reiki (very relaxing, calming and de-stressing). I never switched clinics, I liked that you dealt with the same people, it made it easier (although not that many ivf clinics in Scotland)
Also I started this when I was 28 and 7 embryos was about the most I ever got so....
I'd really recommend reiki, it was perfect for me, even my cynical husband noticed a huge difference in me.
Best of luck.
Wendy x
TTC 7yrs, Me 35 (severe endo) DH 36
IVF nov06 8th time lucky BFP! - 1 baby boy
FET Aug o8 - BFN
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;51;28/st/20070804/n/Joe/dt/6/k/5ec9/age.png[/img]
IVF nov06 8th time lucky BFP! - 1 baby boy
FET Aug o8 - BFN
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;51;28/st/20070804/n/Joe/dt/6/k/5ec9/age.png[/img]
Hi NY,
Don't worry about reimbursing me...I'm in the process of moving, and anything that I don't need is getting trashed. I'd hate to just throw that book away...it's better if some one could read it and maybe find a little peace. I think I figured out how to check personal messages...if you feel comfortable, send me your info. and I'll put it in the mail for you.
I'm at Continuum Reproductive Center/St. Luke's Roosevelt. I'd say overall I'm happy there...but, I always start to second guess myself...could I be doing more, is there a better doctor out there for me, are they doing everything they can???? It's so easy to drive yourself batty! But, I did check their success rates and compared them to the major clinics in the city...Cornell, Columbia, NYU...their success rates were right up there witht the rest of them...so, that gave me some reassurance.
In a way, I think we are lucky to be going through this in the city...there are so many options for us with acupuncture, yoga, therapy...anything we need is right here. We are spoiled in a way.
What do you think of Cornell? How is the personal attention...is it super busy?
Don't worry about reimbursing me...I'm in the process of moving, and anything that I don't need is getting trashed. I'd hate to just throw that book away...it's better if some one could read it and maybe find a little peace. I think I figured out how to check personal messages...if you feel comfortable, send me your info. and I'll put it in the mail for you.
I'm at Continuum Reproductive Center/St. Luke's Roosevelt. I'd say overall I'm happy there...but, I always start to second guess myself...could I be doing more, is there a better doctor out there for me, are they doing everything they can???? It's so easy to drive yourself batty! But, I did check their success rates and compared them to the major clinics in the city...Cornell, Columbia, NYU...their success rates were right up there witht the rest of them...so, that gave me some reassurance.
In a way, I think we are lucky to be going through this in the city...there are so many options for us with acupuncture, yoga, therapy...anything we need is right here. We are spoiled in a way.
What do you think of Cornell? How is the personal attention...is it super busy?
Snapper
what IVF cycle are you on?
Yes Cornell is VERY busy and thats a big negative especially since i was so used to the environment of a small very private office where we had our first two cycles
What i will say in terms of intervieiwng other Drs.. I wish i had done it earlier.. I have learned so much after this failed cycle by intervieing ither Drs .. but thats after 4 failures.. if you ave only tried once and responded pretty well then you are probably right to stay put
I just have to get out of my funk.. i dont want to go out socialize etc and am soo not focused on work which is not good because i run my own business
what IVF cycle are you on?
Yes Cornell is VERY busy and thats a big negative especially since i was so used to the environment of a small very private office where we had our first two cycles
What i will say in terms of intervieiwng other Drs.. I wish i had done it earlier.. I have learned so much after this failed cycle by intervieing ither Drs .. but thats after 4 failures.. if you ave only tried once and responded pretty well then you are probably right to stay put
I just have to get out of my funk.. i dont want to go out socialize etc and am soo not focused on work which is not good because i run my own business
Me 43 dh 65
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
NY4thtry,
Protocol was pretty much the same and I responded the same…averaged 10 follies and fertilization of 50%. I have to think it was the labs (although I did produce 6 more follies at the new location). I was going to a very reputable reproductive center in the Chicagoland area. They were so large that my current RE feels that they "don't pay attention to detail" in the labs. The office I changed too was much smaller and emotionally easier. I ended up with 5 frozen embies as well. Changing clinics also helps mentally. I was really burned out going over and over again to the same place. A new location was like a fresh start. My gut told me not to give up. I sense from your posting that your gut is telling you the same.
Protocol was pretty much the same and I responded the same…averaged 10 follies and fertilization of 50%. I have to think it was the labs (although I did produce 6 more follies at the new location). I was going to a very reputable reproductive center in the Chicagoland area. They were so large that my current RE feels that they "don't pay attention to detail" in the labs. The office I changed too was much smaller and emotionally easier. I ended up with 5 frozen embies as well. Changing clinics also helps mentally. I was really burned out going over and over again to the same place. A new location was like a fresh start. My gut told me not to give up. I sense from your posting that your gut is telling you the same.
I had 4 failed IUIs and a failed IVF in July...I'm starting my second cycle this month.
I know what you mean about the "funk"...my mother-in-law just called me to plan the date of my sister-in-law's baby shower. This is torture! She doesn't know anything about what's going on with us...but, I just hate her right now!
Socialize???? What's that???? I've become a total hermit...don't want to see anyone. This is why I'm trying to really do everything for me right now...acupuncture, yoga, today I got a spa pedicure and manicure...
This is really hard and I wish no one had to go through it...I'm so sorry that you've been struggling and now have to deal with the thought of changing clinics...so much stress.
I know what you mean about the "funk"...my mother-in-law just called me to plan the date of my sister-in-law's baby shower. This is torture! She doesn't know anything about what's going on with us...but, I just hate her right now!
Socialize???? What's that???? I've become a total hermit...don't want to see anyone. This is why I'm trying to really do everything for me right now...acupuncture, yoga, today I got a spa pedicure and manicure...
This is really hard and I wish no one had to go through it...I'm so sorry that you've been struggling and now have to deal with the thought of changing clinics...so much stress.
Hello Ny,
I read your post and first let me say I definitely don't think you should give up. I was ttc for 8 years! I first started when I was in my early twenties and although I was young my egg quality was very poor! I had to change clinics 4 times before I finally found one that seem to understand who I was and what I was willing to do to have a successful outcome. First off, never be afriad to change clinics! I'll say that because I first started at a quack doctor and because I was so young and didn't know any better I stayed because I thought he knew my body best (dumb logic). I then transferred to one of the best clinics in my area and surrounding states for that matter...I was actually turned away because they didn't want to mess up their statistics with someone my age not being able to successfully conceive..I was devastated to say the least! I finally found a clinic that specialized in high fsh....but unfornately I wasn't the only person who read the bulletin about the clinic and they were so busy they really didn't give me any individualized attention...needless to say I left there shortly after a couple of failed IUI's. I finally found a clinic..SJRS (south jersey reproductive specialists)...they were GREAT! They gave me the attention that I needed and actually listened to what I had to say. Once we tried a couple of IUI's they tried to explain that I'd be better off with donor eggs....I explained that wasn't an option for me! I was actually very straight forward I told them I didn't even want it brought up anymore..they listened. I then went on to IVF...I was only producing 1 mature follicle per cycle....it was heart wrenching especially after they explained to me that every mature follicle doesn't necessarily contain an egg, something I didn't realize prior to the explaination. Well they usually stick to at least 3 follies to move forward with the treatment, but I explained that unlike anyone else I believe in the ne is enough idea...I felt like if I could produce one egg I could have one baby and that's all I wanted...was a chance to try. They understand and we moved forward...I had a mock transfer and funny thing...I got preggors two week later naturally! I never in a million years thought it could happen after 8 years of trying, but if I could give you any advice it would be....don't let anyone discourage you! Throw out the statistics, opinions and negative suggestions....know this...your age doesn't matter as much as they tell you it does! I was young and my egg quality was garbage, but I didn't let that discourage me! I believe that no matter what it would happen and it did. Keep your hopes up and your spirits up! I think sometimes good things happen when you believe in mind over matter! I hope you get your wish and best of luck!!
I read your post and first let me say I definitely don't think you should give up. I was ttc for 8 years! I first started when I was in my early twenties and although I was young my egg quality was very poor! I had to change clinics 4 times before I finally found one that seem to understand who I was and what I was willing to do to have a successful outcome. First off, never be afriad to change clinics! I'll say that because I first started at a quack doctor and because I was so young and didn't know any better I stayed because I thought he knew my body best (dumb logic). I then transferred to one of the best clinics in my area and surrounding states for that matter...I was actually turned away because they didn't want to mess up their statistics with someone my age not being able to successfully conceive..I was devastated to say the least! I finally found a clinic that specialized in high fsh....but unfornately I wasn't the only person who read the bulletin about the clinic and they were so busy they really didn't give me any individualized attention...needless to say I left there shortly after a couple of failed IUI's. I finally found a clinic..SJRS (south jersey reproductive specialists)...they were GREAT! They gave me the attention that I needed and actually listened to what I had to say. Once we tried a couple of IUI's they tried to explain that I'd be better off with donor eggs....I explained that wasn't an option for me! I was actually very straight forward I told them I didn't even want it brought up anymore..they listened. I then went on to IVF...I was only producing 1 mature follicle per cycle....it was heart wrenching especially after they explained to me that every mature follicle doesn't necessarily contain an egg, something I didn't realize prior to the explaination. Well they usually stick to at least 3 follies to move forward with the treatment, but I explained that unlike anyone else I believe in the ne is enough idea...I felt like if I could produce one egg I could have one baby and that's all I wanted...was a chance to try. They understand and we moved forward...I had a mock transfer and funny thing...I got preggors two week later naturally! I never in a million years thought it could happen after 8 years of trying, but if I could give you any advice it would be....don't let anyone discourage you! Throw out the statistics, opinions and negative suggestions....know this...your age doesn't matter as much as they tell you it does! I was young and my egg quality was garbage, but I didn't let that discourage me! I believe that no matter what it would happen and it did. Keep your hopes up and your spirits up! I think sometimes good things happen when you believe in mind over matter! I hope you get your wish and best of luck!!
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;20717;81/st/20090217/dt/1/k/4854/s-preg.png[/img]
40 also - you're doing great.
Hi.
I'm with Dr. Gleischer and Dr. Barad now, for IVF #3 (in my 2WW) and doing their DHEA protocol.
You get a lot of EGGS! That's amazing! ( I am a poor responder) I don't think you are crazy to want to continue. at all. At 40 this is the time to try... egg donor is there and will be an option 5 years from now.
I think the woman who discouraged you at 40 is jumping the gun a little. Especially if your doctor isn't showing you the door.
I did 2 IUIs at St Lukes and started an IVF that got cancelled and was shown the door. Hated Dr. Kelts, dr stein was okay, but I found the offic depressing. This is my second IVF at CHR and I am much happier. I got 2 embies and am waiting. I wish you the very best.
I know you wanted a success story, but I just wanted to offer encouragement.
stefanie
I'm with Dr. Gleischer and Dr. Barad now, for IVF #3 (in my 2WW) and doing their DHEA protocol.
You get a lot of EGGS! That's amazing! ( I am a poor responder) I don't think you are crazy to want to continue. at all. At 40 this is the time to try... egg donor is there and will be an option 5 years from now.
I think the woman who discouraged you at 40 is jumping the gun a little. Especially if your doctor isn't showing you the door.
I did 2 IUIs at St Lukes and started an IVF that got cancelled and was shown the door. Hated Dr. Kelts, dr stein was okay, but I found the offic depressing. This is my second IVF at CHR and I am much happier. I got 2 embies and am waiting. I wish you the very best.
I know you wanted a success story, but I just wanted to offer encouragement.
stefanie
thanks for the encouragement stephanie..
No i am definately not being shown the door they want to try again at cornell .. how old are you?
How long did you take the dhea before you first cycle with Dr Gleicher?
Did you have any side effects? how many egg did y0u get?
also did youhave any sense that they were better quality?
sorry for all the questions but there is so much information out there its hard to know what to do next
No i am definately not being shown the door they want to try again at cornell .. how old are you?
How long did you take the dhea before you first cycle with Dr Gleicher?
Did you have any side effects? how many egg did y0u get?
also did youhave any sense that they were better quality?
sorry for all the questions but there is so much information out there its hard to know what to do next
Me 43 dh 65
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
6 cycles 3 chemicals
13+ banking cycles. 2 failed transfers to Surro
12/9 transfer 2 hatching blasts to surro beta 12/ 15
I used the perscription DHEA 25mg 3x/day from feb through late may. CHR uses a special perscription formula at the upper east side Metro drugs. I got two eggs and both fertilized. this time I got three eggs and two fertilized. My who deal is that stims didn't work on me before. I now get more follies and more eggs. I know those numbers aren't high for most, but I have a REALLY low anti-muellerian hormone level and I have 3 siblings w/ autoimmune disease which can cause premature ovarian failure in immediate family. (even though I don't have it) I am 40 also. I turned 40 in may. I have been TTC for 2 years, got pregnant once naturally but miscarried at 13 weeks.
stefanie
stefanie