hi girls
sorry I have not been around but my best friend who was 13 weeks pg has had to get rid of her baby as the baby was down's. She is 38 and has a little boy who I'm godmother to. It has been really hard for her but she felt she could not cope. Well found it hard that she could get rid of the baby but it is her life and I tried not to get involved in it all. Well feel really sorry for her but she say's she has no problem getting pg so will try again soon.
I read about the donor thing and this was all going on when I donated my eggs 2 years ago. This did not stop me and If a child knocks on my door I will deal with it then. It is hard enough getting pg without thinking about all what could happen in 18 years time. I feel we should deal with the here and now, none of us know what is around the corner and i'm not going to worry about it.
well sorry to sound so hard, but what will be will be....
good luck to all that are having tmt.
take care
july ann
NEw thread for DI pals!
Hi July ann - what a nightmare for yr friend - must have been awful for her - but I think I can appreciate why she had to do what she did. Poor her tho - tough for you to to watch I would guess? V interesting about what you say re yr donor decision. Hopefully it wont affect availability - but I think it might (and its already SO limited)
Millie and Jen - I totally agree with your sentiments - these bloody interefering do-gooders - SOOOOO annoying. If you go onto the BBC website - and search under "sperm" (nice!!) a few stories come up - has slightly wound me up further as they interviewed an american women - who was saying that DI should be banned (she was born as a results and sounds TOTALLY SCREWED UP) - typical press they have just taken a very extreme view (from a woman who frankly sounds like DI is the least of her problens!!) just to make a "good" story
OOOOO so cross.
Off on hols for a few days - so will catch up next week
TAke care all!! and good luck with everything
Cxx
Millie and Jen - I totally agree with your sentiments - these bloody interefering do-gooders - SOOOOO annoying. If you go onto the BBC website - and search under "sperm" (nice!!) a few stories come up - has slightly wound me up further as they interviewed an american women - who was saying that DI should be banned (she was born as a results and sounds TOTALLY SCREWED UP) - typical press they have just taken a very extreme view (from a woman who frankly sounds like DI is the least of her problens!!) just to make a "good" story
OOOOO so cross.
Off on hols for a few days - so will catch up next week
TAke care all!! and good luck with everything
Cxx
Hi everyone,
Jen, wishing you good luck for your EC tomorrow. I hope you do not get too sore afterwards. I guess then it will be Saturday or Sunday for your transfer??? Good luck for everything, do let us know how you get on.
July-Ann, sorry to hear about your friend, what a position to be in. I guess everyone deals with this sort of thing differently. It must have been difficult for you to be around that kind of situation. I totally agree with you about the donor situation too, on my first IVF I donated and I can very honestly say that if a child did knock on my door in the future, I would have no problems in dealing with the situation in a sympathetic and compassionate way. Unfortunately my eggs don't seem to like being manhandled and a lot of my embryos don't thrive well so IVF is not for me but if it was, I'd have continued to donate, not simply to help with cost but also because I know what a precious gift a child is, nothing in the world is more precious. So lets hope there are plenty of male donors out there who feel the same way!!!
Caz, I have also seen a couple of articles which are totally biased because the donor children have clearly been very screwed up during their childhood. I have seen a couple who have felt totally rejected by their fathers before they knew of the donor situation and suddenly they feel it all fell into place because they discover they are not biologically related to them. I cannot understand how people can go through what we do, get the wonderful gift of a child and then reject it!!! As you say, these articles like to pick up on the extreme cases and I don't think they provide a true insight at all!!
Jen, we would have the same situation in that I have a little girl and am now trying again, so if that law is changed and I do get pregnant again, I will have that situation where one can trace the 'donor' and the other cannot. I think we just have to take it as it comes. What will be will be and stressing ourselves out will not help us get pregnant!!
Caz - hope you have a nice holiday.
Love Millie x
Jen, wishing you good luck for your EC tomorrow. I hope you do not get too sore afterwards. I guess then it will be Saturday or Sunday for your transfer??? Good luck for everything, do let us know how you get on.
July-Ann, sorry to hear about your friend, what a position to be in. I guess everyone deals with this sort of thing differently. It must have been difficult for you to be around that kind of situation. I totally agree with you about the donor situation too, on my first IVF I donated and I can very honestly say that if a child did knock on my door in the future, I would have no problems in dealing with the situation in a sympathetic and compassionate way. Unfortunately my eggs don't seem to like being manhandled and a lot of my embryos don't thrive well so IVF is not for me but if it was, I'd have continued to donate, not simply to help with cost but also because I know what a precious gift a child is, nothing in the world is more precious. So lets hope there are plenty of male donors out there who feel the same way!!!
Caz, I have also seen a couple of articles which are totally biased because the donor children have clearly been very screwed up during their childhood. I have seen a couple who have felt totally rejected by their fathers before they knew of the donor situation and suddenly they feel it all fell into place because they discover they are not biologically related to them. I cannot understand how people can go through what we do, get the wonderful gift of a child and then reject it!!! As you say, these articles like to pick up on the extreme cases and I don't think they provide a true insight at all!!
Jen, we would have the same situation in that I have a little girl and am now trying again, so if that law is changed and I do get pregnant again, I will have that situation where one can trace the 'donor' and the other cannot. I think we just have to take it as it comes. What will be will be and stressing ourselves out will not help us get pregnant!!
Caz - hope you have a nice holiday.
Love Millie x
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Guest
Hi Guys
Thanks for your support - EC is now over!! Thank God, it is not pleasant especially for a patient as bad as me!!
JulyAnn - so sorry to hear about your friend, these things are never easy.
Anyway - unfortunately DHs biopsy was no go, they found no sperm, so we have now got 9 Donor embies and we feel that these things are all meant to be.
We are going for blastocyte transfer on Monday or Tuesday so fingers crossed!!
Caz have a fab holiday - I am planning one myself when this is all over!!
Thanks again for your support
JenF x
Thanks for your support - EC is now over!! Thank God, it is not pleasant especially for a patient as bad as me!!
JulyAnn - so sorry to hear about your friend, these things are never easy.
Anyway - unfortunately DHs biopsy was no go, they found no sperm, so we have now got 9 Donor embies and we feel that these things are all meant to be.
We are going for blastocyte transfer on Monday or Tuesday so fingers crossed!!
Caz have a fab holiday - I am planning one myself when this is all over!!
Thanks again for your support
JenF x
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Guest
HI ladies
back from hols - was lovely but always come back to earth with a bit of a crash when land in smelly heathrow!!
Anyway - Jen!! Lots of embies good for you gal!! God you must be excited/ nervous - I remember the feeling. Sorry the biopsy didnt work for yr dh - no point dwelling on it too much I guess, but I hope he wasnt too upset (I know how tough it can be). All my prayer sare with you for teh 8th - not too long now!
Millie / July ann how are you?
I feel a bit like I'm heading into teh count down now, next af due in 3 weeks and do day 21 injection in that period and the dailies strt I guess 2 weeks after. GULP
Dh and I discussed (and argued a bit i must confess) on hols the donor thing - I really think he hasnt got his head round it
So I think if this next ICSI doesnt work we will do one last one in Summer (assuming that we can find any sperms in his biopsy) .
After 3 goes tho, DH says he will be able to feel that we really have tried everything and will feel much better about the donor thing - cant help hes just putting it all off. Men are VERY good at that arent they?!
Anyway
Big xx's
cazx
back from hols - was lovely but always come back to earth with a bit of a crash when land in smelly heathrow!!
Anyway - Jen!! Lots of embies good for you gal!! God you must be excited/ nervous - I remember the feeling. Sorry the biopsy didnt work for yr dh - no point dwelling on it too much I guess, but I hope he wasnt too upset (I know how tough it can be). All my prayer sare with you for teh 8th - not too long now!
Millie / July ann how are you?
I feel a bit like I'm heading into teh count down now, next af due in 3 weeks and do day 21 injection in that period and the dailies strt I guess 2 weeks after. GULP
Dh and I discussed (and argued a bit i must confess) on hols the donor thing - I really think he hasnt got his head round it
So I think if this next ICSI doesnt work we will do one last one in Summer (assuming that we can find any sperms in his biopsy) .
After 3 goes tho, DH says he will be able to feel that we really have tried everything and will feel much better about the donor thing - cant help hes just putting it all off. Men are VERY good at that arent they?!
Anyway
Big xx's
cazx
Hi everyone,
So excited for you Jen, will be thinking of you this Sunday!
Caz, its a very emotive issue isn't it and I guess your DH wants to be 100% sure before going with donor. Sorry if I seem thick, but if there are no sperms on this biopsy will you be using donor then? Or would you abandon the cycle? Not sure how this works, I know Jen had donor back and I thought you were doing the same thing? Also, (sorry if I'm being nosey but just curious) if they find no sperms during this biopsy, does that mean there will never be any or would it be attempted again at a later stage?
Anyway, glad you had a good holiday, Just what you need before you get back on this rollercoaster ride!!!
I am still awaiting an appointment from the local consultant so god knows how long that could take!! I am hoping to hear something this month though. Having lots of alcohol in the meantime!!!
Millie x
So excited for you Jen, will be thinking of you this Sunday!
Caz, its a very emotive issue isn't it and I guess your DH wants to be 100% sure before going with donor. Sorry if I seem thick, but if there are no sperms on this biopsy will you be using donor then? Or would you abandon the cycle? Not sure how this works, I know Jen had donor back and I thought you were doing the same thing? Also, (sorry if I'm being nosey but just curious) if they find no sperms during this biopsy, does that mean there will never be any or would it be attempted again at a later stage?
Anyway, glad you had a good holiday, Just what you need before you get back on this rollercoaster ride!!!
I am still awaiting an appointment from the local consultant so god knows how long that could take!! I am hoping to hear something this month though. Having lots of alcohol in the meantime!!!
Millie x
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Guest
Hi Guys
Thanks for all the good wishes!
Caz - hope you had a super holiday and are now well chilled out and raring to go!! I can understand your predicament with donor...it is a hard decision to make for both of you. Just take your time and keep talking. DH and I talked it over until we were blue in the face. At the end of the day your ultimate goal is a baby and some day by hook or by crook you will get it.
With my DH and myself it was a very easy decision. DH had Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome and no sperm with the biopsy as you know, but last July we decided..........right we want a baby, if we can't get what we want through this biopsy nonsense then.........what are the options?? This led us directly down the donor path with no doubts whatsoever. If we could not have a baby that was both our genes, then we would have one that had at least one of our genes.
Sorry I feel like I am preaching really bad mood..........have had two really bad days......scant bleeding started yesterday and it is still there today........so i am not very hopeful for Sundays test.
Love to you all
Caz- you will get there in the end but I can empathise how frustrating the blo*dy thing is!!!
Love
JenF
Thanks for all the good wishes!
Caz - hope you had a super holiday and are now well chilled out and raring to go!! I can understand your predicament with donor...it is a hard decision to make for both of you. Just take your time and keep talking. DH and I talked it over until we were blue in the face. At the end of the day your ultimate goal is a baby and some day by hook or by crook you will get it.
With my DH and myself it was a very easy decision. DH had Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome and no sperm with the biopsy as you know, but last July we decided..........right we want a baby, if we can't get what we want through this biopsy nonsense then.........what are the options?? This led us directly down the donor path with no doubts whatsoever. If we could not have a baby that was both our genes, then we would have one that had at least one of our genes.
Sorry I feel like I am preaching really bad mood..........have had two really bad days......scant bleeding started yesterday and it is still there today........so i am not very hopeful for Sundays test.
Love to you all
Caz- you will get there in the end but I can empathise how frustrating the blo*dy thing is!!!
Love
JenF
HI jen
so sorry to hear about the bleeding - but if its only scant i really wouldnt read to much into it. when my last tmt failed - i can tell you it wasnt scant bleeding it was mega. just hang on in there. LOTS of people bleed and are still pg.
I think your analysis is totally spot on and essentially exactly how I feel - if the biopsy doesnt work then donor is definately the next best step. BUt I thinkdh finds it hard to get there than me - and I completely understand that. Patience is called for - NOT my best quality!
Millie - re our biopsy - if they find none this time then I think it basically means that its game over . I suppose it could mean that they just picked a bad spot in his testicle and that there could be some lurking somewhere else - but I think that v unlikely. We will have a donor back up anyway so that if we cant get any of Dhs sperm we can try to get some embryos made - just like Jen. if we are still undecided we can always freeze them and use later .
This way the cycle isnt wasted and we'll have frozed donor sperm embies to use as and when and if we decide its the right thing for us to do. Does that make sense. ....basically best case is that they find DHs sperm this time (they did find a few last time) and we make some embies and transfer them straight away (we did thi last time but it failed)....or that all fails then we use a donor and either freeze or transfer the embies there and then.
THink I just totally repeated myself - srry! Not totally with it tonite.
CRAP day at work and found out that my ex boyfriend - who got married less than a year ago - is having a baby. His new wife is 4 month pg. I know it sounds weird but I feel like someone has punched me massively hard in the stomach. I've sort of been dreading this news - but I just didnt expect to feel so bad when I heard it. Was really REALLY upset . Also quite pissed off that he didnt tell me himself I just ehard it on teh grapevine -everyone else has known about it for weeks and noone wanted to tell me - how idiotic do I feel?! Weird....but there you go.
GOD THIS SUCKS!
Hows it all going with you guys?
Millie - hope yr appointment comes soon - I too am drinking lots!!
so sorry to hear about the bleeding - but if its only scant i really wouldnt read to much into it. when my last tmt failed - i can tell you it wasnt scant bleeding it was mega. just hang on in there. LOTS of people bleed and are still pg.
I think your analysis is totally spot on and essentially exactly how I feel - if the biopsy doesnt work then donor is definately the next best step. BUt I thinkdh finds it hard to get there than me - and I completely understand that. Patience is called for - NOT my best quality!
Millie - re our biopsy - if they find none this time then I think it basically means that its game over . I suppose it could mean that they just picked a bad spot in his testicle and that there could be some lurking somewhere else - but I think that v unlikely. We will have a donor back up anyway so that if we cant get any of Dhs sperm we can try to get some embryos made - just like Jen. if we are still undecided we can always freeze them and use later .
This way the cycle isnt wasted and we'll have frozed donor sperm embies to use as and when and if we decide its the right thing for us to do. Does that make sense. ....basically best case is that they find DHs sperm this time (they did find a few last time) and we make some embies and transfer them straight away (we did thi last time but it failed)....or that all fails then we use a donor and either freeze or transfer the embies there and then.
THink I just totally repeated myself - srry! Not totally with it tonite.
CRAP day at work and found out that my ex boyfriend - who got married less than a year ago - is having a baby. His new wife is 4 month pg. I know it sounds weird but I feel like someone has punched me massively hard in the stomach. I've sort of been dreading this news - but I just didnt expect to feel so bad when I heard it. Was really REALLY upset . Also quite pissed off that he didnt tell me himself I just ehard it on teh grapevine -everyone else has known about it for weeks and noone wanted to tell me - how idiotic do I feel?! Weird....but there you go.
GOD THIS SUCKS!
Hows it all going with you guys?
Millie - hope yr appointment comes soon - I too am drinking lots!!
Poor you Caz, its one thing after another isn't it! Did they not want to tell you about your ex because of the fertility problems or something else? I do hope they find some sperm with your DH and that this works for you. As you say, you are on the countdown now so lets hope that time flies!!
Jen, so sorry, have read your other thread about the bleeding and posted a message on there. I hope it works out for you. How many embies did you have frozen?
How is everyone else doing??
Millie x
Jen, so sorry, have read your other thread about the bleeding and posted a message on there. I hope it works out for you. How many embies did you have frozen?
How is everyone else doing??
Millie x
Hello loves- just wondering how you all are
No news from me. Trying to eek out of my DH his real feelings on DI - I think we're getting somewhere. Altho he keeps talking about how "he'll just have to block out the fact that he's not biologically related" - which somehow doesnt seem QUITE the right approach to me - but hey, maybe it is -I dunno!
Anyway off to watch the final of I'm a Celeb - LOVE LOVE LOVE crap tele!!
Jen sweetie - I've been looking all over the boards to try and catch up with you - how are you?
Millie - when is yr appointment??
Big X
Cazx
No news from me. Trying to eek out of my DH his real feelings on DI - I think we're getting somewhere. Altho he keeps talking about how "he'll just have to block out the fact that he's not biologically related" - which somehow doesnt seem QUITE the right approach to me - but hey, maybe it is -I dunno!
Anyway off to watch the final of I'm a Celeb - LOVE LOVE LOVE crap tele!!
Jen sweetie - I've been looking all over the boards to try and catch up with you - how are you?
Millie - when is yr appointment??
Big X
Cazx
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Guest
Hi Caz/Millie
Doing alright..........have cryed so much my bones are sore.........on Saturday I found out a friend was pregnant after trying for one month......nearly sent me over the edge..........I have to say it was the lowest point of my whole life. I really upset DH as I said I didn't think I could go through all this again and have another negative.
Did the sh*tty pg test on Sunday and no surprise it was negative......had two bottles of wine.........having another one now! I am better today though I am seeing more clearly and of course I am going to arrange my next treatment.
I am supposed to do DIUI now that we know that DH has no sperm but I am going to question the clinic on that (I am 100% fine.....had all the tests lap & hysteroscopy etc) but I don't want to waste time if they feel DIVF will get us what we want quicker.
I have also left my job which was only 3 days per week as I am studying. Feel a bit crap about having no cash but I feel it is the only option as they were getting sick of me taking time off for scans etc......I live in Herts and my clinic is in Harley St........so it meant at least half a day off. There is no point getting another job because the same thing is going to happen again..............I can also get stuck into my course.
Went to yoga tonight to find inner peace and tranquility and the gym this morning thank god.....i feel really tired when I am not at the gym!! (the clinic banned me from the gym as my body fat was too low).
As for you Caz - keep talking, no matter what DH says, the more you talk the more things will make sense to both of you.......we did it talk about the good points, the bad points and the crap points you will conclude eventually. We discussed the genetically related thing too.........I honestly believe the only times that will be an issue is at the beginning and if you ever tell the child..........once you are pregnant you will be so busy with other business you wont even thing about it..........and when you give birth......you will be so busy being good parents the gene thing will only be a fleeting thought if you have time to think! That is just what I believe.............
When is your next appointment Caz?
Anyway......Im off if i prattle on any more this will turn into a thesis in lunacy!!
Love
JenFx
Doing alright..........have cryed so much my bones are sore.........on Saturday I found out a friend was pregnant after trying for one month......nearly sent me over the edge..........I have to say it was the lowest point of my whole life. I really upset DH as I said I didn't think I could go through all this again and have another negative.
Did the sh*tty pg test on Sunday and no surprise it was negative......had two bottles of wine.........having another one now! I am better today though I am seeing more clearly and of course I am going to arrange my next treatment.
I am supposed to do DIUI now that we know that DH has no sperm but I am going to question the clinic on that (I am 100% fine.....had all the tests lap & hysteroscopy etc) but I don't want to waste time if they feel DIVF will get us what we want quicker.
I have also left my job which was only 3 days per week as I am studying. Feel a bit crap about having no cash but I feel it is the only option as they were getting sick of me taking time off for scans etc......I live in Herts and my clinic is in Harley St........so it meant at least half a day off. There is no point getting another job because the same thing is going to happen again..............I can also get stuck into my course.
Went to yoga tonight to find inner peace and tranquility and the gym this morning thank god.....i feel really tired when I am not at the gym!! (the clinic banned me from the gym as my body fat was too low).
As for you Caz - keep talking, no matter what DH says, the more you talk the more things will make sense to both of you.......we did it talk about the good points, the bad points and the crap points you will conclude eventually. We discussed the genetically related thing too.........I honestly believe the only times that will be an issue is at the beginning and if you ever tell the child..........once you are pregnant you will be so busy with other business you wont even thing about it..........and when you give birth......you will be so busy being good parents the gene thing will only be a fleeting thought if you have time to think! That is just what I believe.............
When is your next appointment Caz?
Anyway......Im off if i prattle on any more this will turn into a thesis in lunacy!!
Love
JenFx
Jen
Sorry for butting in but thought I'd just add my own expereinces for you. My dh has no sperm. I had a lap in August to check my tubes etc and was given the all clear. We did our first diui in Oct/Nov and unfortunately got a -ive. We went straight on to do our second attempt Nov/Dec and got a +ive on the 31st Dec!!
I am now 10 weeks pregnant. Had the first scan all well. Awaiting next scan.
DIUI can and does work
Love Lisa x
Sorry for butting in but thought I'd just add my own expereinces for you. My dh has no sperm. I had a lap in August to check my tubes etc and was given the all clear. We did our first diui in Oct/Nov and unfortunately got a -ive. We went straight on to do our second attempt Nov/Dec and got a +ive on the 31st Dec!!
I am now 10 weeks pregnant. Had the first scan all well. Awaiting next scan.
DIUI can and does work
Love Lisa x