Remaining Frozen Embryos - what to do?

Sher8 · Post by **Sher8** » Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:40 pm

I have been so lucky to have had two beautiful girls from IVF. The second fresh cycle left us with two embryos. I think we are done having babies at this point, but I feel guilty not using what remains. I realize it is early to make any decision being that we just had our second in March, but it has kept me up at night wondering what to do. Three children would make a big difference in our lives and must take serious consideration. Can anyone share a similar experience or thoughts that might help?

Thanks,
Sher8

Susie · Post by **Susie** » Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:01 pm

Hi Sher,
I haven't been on in a while as i've had some personal problems and moved house, but just got 2 minutes to come on here. Congratulations on the birth of your 2nd little girl, I'm really pleased it worked for you a second time.
Anyway, we had 5 frozen embies left over and like you spent ages debating over what to do with them. In the end we figured that if no-one had ever donated their embryo's to research then our precious little babies wouldn't be here, so to give something back, we donated ours to research. We couldnt afford more children and I'm now unable to carry anymore, yet I couldnt bare the thought of donating them to another couple as I felt like they would be my sons twin iykwim! Donating to research was the only option for us.
Speak soon and hope you make a descision thats right for you
Love Susie

Anie · Post by **Anie** » Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:45 am

Hello.

I'm currently undergoing treatment so i don't know if i will ever be in your situation.

If god blesses me with babies and if i have remaining embryos, i would like to donate them to research too.

Hope you can make a decision.

And congrats for your babies

Anie

shantala · Post by **shantala** » Thu Aug 21, 2008 1:17 pm

hi sher8

its so interesting to read your post as i have been kept awake too with the same problem.

we were lucky enough to have one little girl in april but we're sure that we wont have any more. i have 7 frozen and really dont know what to do with them. even if we go for another frozen cycle, i would only be able to transfer 2 so i'm still left with the dilemma of another 5! and i cant have all 7 transferred, regardless of what happens!! just leaving them to go is too hard, donating them to another couple would be my wish but i dont think i could live with the thought of my biological child being out there somewhere so i'm considering research........

anyway just wanted to let you know you're not alone in this moral dilemma!!

xx

AuntyPebbles · Post by **AuntyPebbles** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:39 am

Hey lady's i think you should all donate them to me ...

hang on how many kids would that be?....better tell hubby to go do some more over time right.

Ive never been in that situation so cant really help i'm sure you will all do what feels right for you.

sending much love Aunty

Sher8 · Post by **Sher8** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:06 pm

Thanks all for getting back to me with your response. You wouldn't believe how much this decision has been weighing on me. I am going to wait a year or two before making the final decision, but that doesn't mean it won't continue to stay in my brain.

Susie,
Glad to hear from you! Hope you are well and things are going better for you.

Anie,
Good luck to you. I hope the treatment works!

Sher8

kimmysq · Post by **kimmysq** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 8:49 pm

This is such a hard decision. My dh and I talked about this for along time...We were lucky to have two wonderful sons from IVF, but what to do with the frozen embies. We finally decided to thaw and see what happened. The first FET, BFN, second FET, BFP. I decided it must be what was meant in the starts for us. All frozen embies have been used.
GL with such a tough decision.
Kim

Vickyp · Post by **Vickyp** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 3:16 pm

Hello

I have also spent ages thinking about this. I have my beautiful son from IVF and have now incredibly become pregnant naturally (expecting in Dec). I have 4 emryos frozen. I am definately going to use mine. I feel I must give them a chance of life. If I couldn't use them I would definately donate them to another couple. I have had the same thoughts others have had about someone else bringing up my child but I feel sure that anyone who is prepared to endure the rigors of IVF would be a good parent and it would be a great gift and would also be giving my embryo's a chance of life.
It is a really hard subject and I feel quite lucky to feel strongly about my decision as I'm normally incredibly indecisive! Good to all who face this turmoil. Love Vicky

Sher8 · Post by **Sher8** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:33 pm

Oh. . .if I were only a few years younger this decision would be much easier for me. I know age shouldn't make a difference, but I am beginning to feel it now. We decided to wait a year or two before making the final decision, but I'm so glad to hear your response and reasons. Very helpful to me.

Sher8

fulloffaith · Post by **fulloffaith** » Thu Sep 11, 2008 7:51 pm

We have 6 remaining, 3 excellent grades but DH says no way, no more babies. We had triplets and I really don't think I could do another multiple pregnancy. If I knew it would be one then maybe but right now I don't want anymore kids. But who knows how I would feel 5 years from now. So I am keeping mine frozen for now. If a few years down the road I know for sure I don't want anymore then I feel like giving them to someone who can't produce their own eggs would be cool. DH doesn't think so. But I just can't imagine having them thrown out or experimented on. That seems wrong to me. You just have to do what is best for you, what your heart tells you. It is a very hard decision and you don't really think about it early on, you just try and try to get pregnant. Good luck!

Allison

babyluv · Post by **babyluv** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 12:52 am

fulloffaith, the kiddos are soooo cute...if only they weren't in Gator gear! Come on now

I just had my retrieval today and have no clue how many will fertilize, if I will get pregnant, have left overs embryos, etc. However, DH and I have talked about it a lot and donating to another couple is really our only option if we have too many. I told DH we had to make a decision on that before I would even consider doing IVF.

I have my personal beliefs on life, but I really wasn't sure how I felt about essentially being biological mother to someone else's children. As an adoptive mom, it was hard to picture myself on the other side. However, DH said something that really made me think. He said that we have been so blessed through adoption and how great would it be to give that gift to someone else? I have found at least one agency that will allow the donating family to choose the adoptive family if that's what you desire.

That being said, I hope we are not placed in this situation. I would rather use them all myself, but we'll see what God has planned. We already have two kids and planned on only one or two more. Despite our issues being MFI, if this IVF works, DH is getting fixed!!

Hope644 · Post by **Hope644** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:29 am

What a serious dilemma... We are pg with our 3rd round of IVF (due Dec 3)... but each time we were not fortunate enough to have frosties. Each time I was thoroughly disappointed, as I had hoped to have more than enough to share with my older sister who would love to have a child of her own.

But God has his plan and we don't get to make those decisions...

After going through 3 rounds without frosties, I have had more time to consider this situation, though... if I had them and if my sister chose not to use them, I think I would elect to have them all transferred back to me, without the benefit of another stimulation. Personally, the donation route would not be an option for me... I'd like to think I could do it and realize that donations from others have lead to the technology that we now have, but for spiritual reasons, I couldn't bear the thought of it... but again, I am not criticizing those who do... it just couldn't be my choice.

Sher8 - I am glad you are giving yourself a year to think it over... I think time does make a huge difference in your thoughts and perspective and I would certainly not want you to make any decision without full consideration. Best wishes to you and congratulations on your babies!! May God lead you in the right direction for you and your DH.

Sher8 · Post by **Sher8** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 12:58 pm

Thanks Hope. Congrats on your pregnancy and hoping you a smooth delivery. I appreciate the reassurance and lately the girls have been keeping me busy enough to not even think about it!

stephjim · Post by **stephjim** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:37 pm

I have a question. I did not realize that some places have an option to donate to research. Is that everywhere or is it mandated by the state? Because I would definitely not mind donating to research but like many have said I don't know if I could handle someone else with our children.

Sher8 · Post by **Sher8** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:57 pm

I believe donation is always an option. You may want to check with your specific clinic to see if they offer this.

Remaining Frozen Embryos - what to do?

Remaining Frozen Embryos - what to do?

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