AUGUST 2008 ~ BUMP BUDDIES

[tinaO]

Shari - Glad you are getting prescribed something. Just remember that everything you are feeling is normal. Many, many women go through it. If I did not have my husband home with me I would certainly lose my mind. This can be a tough gig at times. Noah decided to try staying up half the night last night. Whew...wore me and my husband both out today. We just switched formulas to the Enfamil Gentlease to see if that would help (he was on the regular one). He just seems to have a lot of gas. I am exhausted today. I am glad you are sleeping when the baby sleeps - that is so important. Oh - and I have yet to leave the house with Noah by myself. Heck no! I have not even taken the stroller out of the box. I am such a wimp!!! All he has been to is the doc twice and to dinner that night. All have been with my husband with us.

Oh darn - he is at it again. Gotta go - more later!

[2ndtimer]

Hi Guys,
once again this thread has proved to be invaluable. Shari, I'm so sorry that you've had the blues, but selfishly it's good to know I'm not the only one. Last week I guess my hormones crashed from the stopping the breast feeding. I cried for 2 days convinced that I'm doing everything wrong & I don't deserve such a good baby. I mean, I just couldn't stop crying. Happily, I'm feeling much better now. Connor has started to sleep 4-6 hours in a row at night time and my mom's here to help. Before that, I was really the only one taking care of the baby. I was exhausted! DH is deaf in one ear & hard of hearing in the other -he just plain can't hear the baby crying.
I'm reading one of the Baby Whisperer books now. I recommend checking it out. I've been trying to incorporate her ideas into our daily schedule and so far it's really been helping me to get organized and to also feel a little more secure that I'm doing the right thing.
Hang in there guys -between the hormones & the lack of sleep this first month or so is just tough. We should all be feeling much better in a few weeks!
Take care,
Rebecca

[seltzer]

In a weird way, I'm glad to see so many of you are depressed...jk, not really. It's just that it seems to be so normal. I am worse off today than I have been ever since I had Keira. I am starting Zoloft tonight. It is purported to be safe while BFing. I don't know how long I'm going to continue it, but for the interim my OB and Keira's pedi are comfortable with me taking it (I suppose so I won't be a clinically depressed mother). Tonight my DP (Yes, the one I stated was self-absorbed and selfish at times) is taking care of the baby the entire night so I can get some sleep. The lack of sleep is making me seriously depressed, irritable, and unable to function. It takes my all to shower and keep the baby dressed and diapered. The feedings were a source of comfort and calm for me until the BF craziness began. Then it became a source of sadness and frustration and hopelessless. I am starting to accept that BFing will not be happening for me and Keira...just trying to accept it, that's all. She is such a beautiful and good little girl who deserves nothing but the very best, and to have to accept the fact that she, in this case, will not be getting the very best, saddens me to no end. I'm sure you all can now understand why I've been prescribed Zoloft...Tonight DP also gave me an Ambien so that I can sleep deeply. Every night I am awakened by my carpal tunnel syndrome numbness and pain. THe pain is pretty bad in my left wrist. And my back is really killing me. When it rains it pours. And to boot I have this floppy, abhorrent looking belly to deal with. Oh well, I have my 6-wk PP visit next week so will discuss all these things with the OB. Signing off for now...to sleep. Hope you all are well.

[sharishu]

Seltzer,
You are right, you are not alone. I am filled with anxiety about everything. Completely nonsensical, irrational fears, yet they sap me of my energy. The antidepressant isn't working so well yet, so I take one Xanax a day, which helps a bit. I don't want to take it for much longer, as it is a narcotic. But, I have felt this way in the past, and from experience, the feeling always resolves. So I am relying on past experience to calm me down. Try not to beat yourself up about the BF situation. Keira will be FINE, she will love you with or without the breast milk. I know you had your heart set on it and it's difficult. In time, you will feel better about it, I hope very soon. Hang in there!
Shari

[2ndtimer]

You know, I'm wondering if the IVF process with all the injections of hormones could be part of the culprit now for the postpartum dep/anxiety that some of us seem to be experiencing??? If so, then hopefully we just have a few more weeks to "ride out the storm" and let our bodies get back to normal.
Seltzer -my baby is thriving on formula. He is getting fat & happy. Kiera will be just fine. DONT feel guilty! There's just plain to much else to feel guilty about. Just a warning -your hormones will also be taking a dip about a week after you stop altogether with the BF. Know it's coming and it will pass.
Shari - dont worry about the xanax, it's actually pretty mild in my opinion. Makes me feel about the same a benedryl. Maybe a schedule would make you feel better? Is there a library that you can check out some baby books from? I've been going through several from my library -picking up tips from each. It helps because if you are like me, I've never even babysat an infant before I brought Connor home. Now I've got a baby who is more precious to me than anything and I don't want to do anything wrong.... It's stressful.
Tina -you sound like you are doing great. Take Noah out more -it will give you more confidence each time. I take out Connor all the time now but ty to avoid crowded places and I dont' let anyone touch him or hover. It's hard with elderly folk because they love babies and I dont' like to be rude(it the southern thing) but still I'm firm. I meet my work friends for lunch about once a week and also take him shopping during the day. It makes things seem much more normal.

Take care everyone,
Rebecca

[tinaO]

Hello ladies! I wanted to check in and say "hi". Things are going great here, but I swear without my husband's support, I could not handle this so well. It is 8 a.m. and I just woke up because I guess Noah woke up around 6 a.m. and my husband took him to the living room to feed him so as not to wake me up and I walked out of the bedroom and found my husband asleep on the couch with Noah next to him sleeping in his bouncy chair . It made me feel guilty, but I swear I cannot survive without sleep and my husband can. So, I made my husband go back to bed for a while and Noah is sleeping in his little bouncy chair in the living room as I type. I know I am lucky and I don't know how you all do it if you are doing most of the feedings at night be yourself. It is so hard. But just remember that it will get easier. The babies will start sleeping more and so will you! Now, I just need to stop feeling guilty for all that my husband is doing. That must be part of being a mom - feeling guilty about EVERYTHING now.....

Seltzer - I agree with Rebecca and Shari on the breastfeeding - do not beat yourself up over it!!! I did the same thing and little Noah is absolutely fine on formula and turning out to be quite the little pig! I was set on breastfeeding, watched vidoes on it, took classes, read books, bought the nursing bras, the breast pump, all the supplies - I WAS GOING TO BREASTFEED NO MATTER WHAT. Well, as we all know, I physically was not able to and it destroyed me for a few days. But you know - it is OK not to do it. Keira will be fine. Most people from our generation were not breastfed and we all turned out fine!!! Trust me - you will be ok and so will Keira. Besides - you have already done it for quite a while! Be proud of yourself for that!!! Are you going to continue pumping? If so, she is still getting your milk anyway. Also, I hope your getting a good night's sleep helps - I seriously don't know how you all do it. I am glad DP stepped up!!! And don't worry about the belly - we all have it! It is going to require some work and we will all get back there in due time! We need to stop being so hard on ourselves!

Shari - Try not to worry about doing the wrong things when it comes to the baby. Just think about all those women in those countries that are literally raising babies in the dirt with terrible nutrition, no prenatal care, etc. I always think about Cozumel and this trip we took there years ago. The babies are running around in the streets in nothing but a dirty diaper. Surely we are taking better care of our babies than that, right??? I am sure the meds you are taking will begin to help really soon - just hang in there!!! You are a wonderful mommy and just know that your baby is indeed getting the very best there is from you!!!!

Rebecca - You are right - I need to get little Noah out more. I just hate it because so many people are sick right now!!! I guess I have it easy too because my husband watches him so much, so I can get out and do things still. I went to lunch yesterday with a couple of girlfriends and had a nice big glass of wine. Ah - it was nice!!! Of course, then I got so tired that I could barely get through my shopping at Target afterwards. But it is nice to have that kind of time to myself still and know Noah is safe at home with my husband. I think once Noah gets another week or two older I will start to take him out more. I just hate how everyone wants to TOUCH him - uggghhhh. Oh well. By the way, you mention books. Have you read "The Girlfriend's Guide to the First Year of Motherhood"? My friend gave it to me and it is SO awesome. We should all read it. There is a whole chapter on postpartum depression and the book absolutely cracks me up. It makes you so aware that everything we are going through is NORMAL!!!

Ok, I better go before the little one decides to rise and shine again. Take care all!!! I hope Karen, Michelle, and Marybeth are all doing well.

Tina

[sharishu]

Ladies,

You guys are the best support system ever! I am slowly starting to have periods during the day where I am feeling more comfortable and kind of consciously deciding to be more confident. I actually have HEAPS of experience with kids, and helped care for my nieces and nephew as infants. But when it comes to my own newborn, and me and dh being SOLELY responsible, that's where the 'freak out' comes in. And he's so cute, I want so badly to relax so I don't miss out on just how amazing he is.

Anyway, thanks again, your support is invaluable.

Shari

[CT_Michele]

Hey ladies-

I just wanted to stop by and say hello.

Ella, dh and I are doing great. She is such a good baby, only crying when she is hungry, which is about every 3 hours or so. She still only wakes twice a night, about every 4-4.5 hrs, so we are getting plently of sleep. Every now and then she is difficult when it is sleep time at night, but dh realizes that sometimes I get deprived of sleep since I am the one getting up at night, so he takes her in the morning and I get to sleep in. He is also doing great with helping around the house, cooking, cleaning, laundry...he has been awesome.

I have recovered well. When I went to my ob this past week, I had a little bit of yeast buildup around my incision, so she instructed me to clean it twice a day with peroxide and I will go see her again this week. She asked me about weepiness, or baby blues, and I told her I am a bit more emotional, but nothing horrible, and she said it will subside in a couple of weeks. So anyone dealing with the depression, just hang in there, my dr says it will get better.

I also asked her exactly what pelvic rest meant (b/c I am dying to have sex). She said no sex for 6 weeks, period. I have looked this up online and it seems that dr's opinions differ on this matter. Some say it is ok once bleeding has stopped, some say when you are comfortable go for it, some say the big "O" is ok without penetration. What have your dr's said, or what have you done. I don't know if I can make it to 6 weeks, it has been like 4 months, and I feel so ready. Thanks for any advice you gals can give me.

Tina- getting Ella out is a scary endeavor for us too. So far it has just been for dr's appts. Yesterday we took her to starbucks to meet a couple of friends for coffee. I was ok with this b/c usually we sit outside, but it was raining so we sat inside. I was so nervous about being around people and germs, but thank goodness there were not a lot of people there, if there were, I probably would have left. Tomorrow we are going to my dads for the patriots game, so this will be the first time we will actually have to pack in order to feed and diaper away from home, scary thought.

I hope everyone else is well, and I am going to checkout the photobucket pics now and try to add a couple of my favorites of Ella. Talk to you all soon.

[tinaO]

Hello! Well, Noah decided to start sleeping better last night - WHEW!! Maybe it was after reading Michelle's post about Ella and me explaining to him that other babies sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time at night!!! He seemed to listen and get it. He only woke up at 2:15 a.m, 6 a.m., and then 8:30 a.m. I will take it! It was just taking so long to put him down after each feeding, but last night we decided to just put him down and get him to "self-soothe" himself to sleep. Thankfully he did not cry and stirred for a bit and finally went to sleep. Hooray!! Let's hope for a repeat performance this evening!!! Please, pleaae, please!!

Michelle - You go on with your bad self and get yourself some if you want to , but coming from a petite person who gave birth vaginally and required quite a few stitches afterwards, sex is not in the cards for me right now! I will discuss it with my OB/Gyn in a couple of weeks when I go back for a check-up, but I was not planning anything until then. My doctor made a scary face after Noah came out and stated something to the nurse that neither my husband or I understood, but the little bit I got out of him as far as where I was being stitched and how much is enough to make me nervous enough to want to make sure all is healed well before we start trying anything. However, since you had a c-section, that is a very different story. Personally, I would give it to the 4-week mark before I went there, but if you are feeling that good, I guess you could go for it and take it slow. I feel too much like a pig still, so not in the mood much anyway. I WANT my old body back...actually, I want a NEW and IMPROVED one! I posted a couple of pics on photobucket...one is of me last weekend when my college roommate was in town and we had been out by the pool...you can see her baby in the background - he is a total chunker! He is only 4 1/2 mos old and already weighs 20 pounds! Anyway, if you decide to go for it, good luck!!! Hopefully we can resume soon, too.....but man will I be scared! I am just thankful that I have healed so nicely and am back exercising. One step at a time....

Oh - and enjoy the Patriots game. Going to be very different without Tom Brady.....

Seltzer - How are you??? How was the sleep??? Did DP handle it well???

Shari - How are you today??? I am sure your baby is busy staring at you right now thinking, "Wow - this mommy is the best mommy in the world. She worries about me all the time - this rocks!!!" Keep remembering that - you are doing the very, very best you can and your baby knows that. He is lucky to have you.

Hope everyone else is doing well. We are hanging out and watching football today. Very relaxing...which is nice.

Tina

[tinaO]

By the way, love the pics of Keira and Ella - TOO CUTE!!!!!

[sharishu]

I love all the baby photos. Your babies are just precious!

Tina- Thanks so much for your vote of confidence. All I could think of now is the dirty baby running around barefoot in Cozumel, and I think "Yup... at LEAST I'm doing better than that." (lol). I still have my moments, but I believe I am on the mend. BTW- Hope this doesn't sound strange, but Noah reminds me a wee bit of Elia. At least from the photos. He is truly adorable .

Gotta go rock him to sleep, otherwise he will get 'kvetchy' soon.

Later.

Shari

[tryw8]

Hi everyone,

Cody had his first well baby check on Friday. My mom came with me. (DH went back to work 2 weeks ago.) Anyways, Cody is NOW 10 lbs and 23 inches long. He was 6 lbs 5.5 oz. and 20 inches long @ birth. My parents are calling him "fatso boy".

We're still working with him to turn his day sleep pattern to the night. Next month, he'll get his first shots. I don't know if I can bear to watch that. I had difficulty at the hospital when they came into my room to do a blood test on him. I could hear him cry and watch him squirm but I couldn't do a thing.

As for me, I'm going out of my mind just staying home. I only get to go out with Cody for pediatrician appointments. Other than that, I do the marketing by myself which is usually short trips while he's asleep and DH is with him. But hopefully soon we can go out as a family ... me and my best boys!

Karen

P.S. Can you believe DH is already looking for a Halloween costume for our son?

[CT_Michele]

Karen- I had to chuckle a little when I read that your dh is looking for a halloween costume. DH and I bought one before ella was even born...so it's never too early. When we saw the little butterfly costume at babies r us, we just couldn't resist!

[tinaO]

Ha ha - already bought Noah's!! He is going to be a Monkey!!!

Noah slept from 11 p.m. to 4:15 a.m. last night - whoo hoo!!! Then we got him back down till about 7:30 a.m. I am in heaven!!! I just hope he keeps this up!!!!

Karen - Cody is beefing up for the winter, huh??? You will have to post a pic!!! I bet he looks adorable! I am so curious how much Noah weighs now! Also, can you take him out for walks in your neighborhood? I am now doing that every evening with Noah and it is wonderful for both of us. I feel so much better exercising - esp since I still have 10-12 pounds to go to get back to my pre-preggo weight. I walk 3 miles with him and it makes me feel so good to be out in the open air. I am lucky with my husband still at home with me that I get to run around during the day some, too. I would go crazy staying indoors all the time. Try walking - it is so refreshing! Oh - and no way I will be in the room when Noah gets his shots - no way!!! Cannot handle it!!!

Seltzer - where ya hiding???

[seltzer]

Hey y'all, I am here. Last night I had to rush one of my cats, Jarvis, to the animal ER because I found him sick & hiding. They had to put him to sleep because his lymphoma had returned (he was treated for that over a year ago and did really well.) I am numb about it, though last night I was sobbing & a total wreck. When I found him something was wrong w/his eye and it was oozing, and he wasn't eating or drinking and was obviously impaired and dehydrated. I stood him up and he fell over. We last saw him on Fri. I have a lot of guilt for not checking on him sooner. I have had him and his sister, Sophie, for 12 yrs. He was the best cat--very sweet, gentle, and sensitive. He was the cutest kitten in the world and I am really sad but kind of in shock still.

My depression/anxiety has been excruciating. About a week ago I talked to my OB and he prescribed Zoloft. I have noticed a slight improvement so far and am praying it gets better. I have been reading the posts but haven't had the energy to write. Keira is doing great...but man oh man this sleep deprivation is killing me. I had another night's sleep last night (without the Ambien this time) while DP took care of the baby. It's just never enough, though. I wake up exhausted & depressed. I have been getting out a lot, though, just forcing myself. And speaking of weight...I went for my 6-week OB visit and I've lost 22 lbs. Apparently I REALLY porked out there at the end of the preg...in total I gained 36 lbs. I have 10 lbs. to go before I am where I was at when I got preg, and another 10 to go before I am what I was when I started IUIs/IVF. I can no longer stand this blimpdom. Totally depressing. Still pumping breast milk, too, so that is wiping me out. I am glad to hear everyone is doing well...wish I could write more but I hear the baby waking up...she is squeaking and grunting, LOL.