AUG/SEPT BUDDIES!

[SueQiwi]

Hi Guys~
I just wanna say thanks for sticking around. It means so much to me! We have come so far together and I am thankful for your support. I am going crazy during this 2ww. I am just trying to squeeze all the doubts out and just pretend I am pregnant! I am just so scared of another BFN.

I snuck a peek at the May Mommies board and I so want to join you all there! (Although I would be a June Mommy as I checked my date would be June 26) It was only a quick look as I know I dont belong there. What a happy day it will be to join a Mommies board at last!

My beta is on 18 Saturday--which is actually 17 Friday for you North American chicks. (we are a day ahead of you here down under!) I will not POAS. I think Im kinda weird as I have no impulse to test! I think it would just set off another bout of obsession as to if the test was really accurate etc! So I prefer to just wait and get the final facts with no preparation.

Val~I took my temp this morning like you mentioned and it was elevated! That made me more hopeful. thank you for your reassurance on all my crazy symptoms.

Renee~thank you for checking in. I am so happy you can afford your next cycle and rest easy for now.

Kerpuppies~your coffee spilling story is just the kinda thing I am worried about! my DH startled me good the other night and now it is one of those moments I am obsessing over! I know you ladies are right and the embies are safe inside me and quite protected from getting knocked around. I just need to chill out (easier said than done!)

Chris~thank you for checking in on me! I am doing my best to close this thread out with another BFP! (please, please be a BFP.) I hope you have a terrific holiday at the Lake and come back refreshed and ready for your next cycle!

Toobee~thank you for your reassurance! I am relieved to hear that my obssessing is quite normal. I just wish I could turn my brain off for the next week and turn it back on in time for my beta.

[stefanie]

SueQiwi
I'm still here. and I have a very good feeling. Try to stay off the internet if you can. all the symptoms vary, but I too had weird discharge, and night sweats.. It's all the progesterone etc. Just try to focus on life.

I'm sorry I was off the thread - I was in DC on business again and stared bleeding. BLEEDING fire engine red blood, like crazy. I hopped a cab to the emergecy room and luckily my best friend and sister (who is a nurse midwife) met me there.

The ER staff was awful and told me if I was miscarrying I should just lie there as there was nothing they could do. I waited 2 hours for an ultrasound. When he finally came (nice guy) we found two heartbeats and healthy ones.

by the end of the night the blood went brown and I passed some kind of tissue.

DH drove right down from NYC, we spent the night at sisters and drove home today. I am on pelvic rest. (no lifting, no sex, no strenuous anything)

I have my CVS tomorrow, and we'll see whether or not he decides to go through with it.

It was pretty dramatic. There was a lot of blood. but I am so very thankful. My sister and best friend got to see the babies with me which was fun. they were moving and waving and mooning us. hilarious.

Hopefully tomorrow will show the same thing. The on call doc from my OB's office, said the guy doing my CVS is the best and he absolutely won't go forward if there is danger of more bleeding.

My sister thinks I had a clot that passed.

Okay, that's my drama for the wekk.

stefanie

[toobee]

Drama Mama

Sorry Stephanie about your ordeal. Thats sounds lke a terrible day and I know exacty how you feel I m just glad yours seems to be okay at the moment. I am so sorry they treated you like that at the ER...I had back surgery several years ago and couldnt do anything for mylsef and had to rely on a nurse, and she was evil and so incompassionate. I will never undertsnd why these people dont just quit their jobs since they seem to be so miserable. I have met some great nurses, but more often they seem to lack emotion and can really treat you like a robot.

Like Stephanie I too had a very eventful weekend. I went to ER late lastnight and was released 5 pm today. I started with a gush of bright red blood and then severe cramping. we got to the hospital had sevral sonograms and they found the 3rd baby who was dying and had not pssed on yet even though we thought it was already gone. Turns out I am miscarrying the triplet but the twins are doing fine for now. My cervix is closed, but I am at risk for losing the whole pregnacy because of the triplet passing. The cramping has been unreal and steady althought the blood loss slowed down.

I am feeling so exhausted, both emotionally and physically. This process has been so draining. I am quite grateful o be pregnant, but I it appears it will not be any easy road. SO my PMA is not the best right now, I am defintely feeling down, scared and probably feeling sorry for myslef which I feel I am entitled to at this point. MY DH and I have been through so much over the last few years........I hope this will finally be our happy ending. We have definelty paid allot of dues .......

Sorry so grim....but I imagine you lades would understand more thn most
Thanks for listening

[SueQiwi]

toobee and stephanie~big hugs for both of you! What horrible ordeals you have been through!

toobee~I am praying for you, DH and the twins. This is just terrible that this is happening after everything else you have been through! Hopefully the triplet will pass quickly and you can get on with a nice normal twin pregnancy very soon. My heart goes out to you tonight!

Stephanie~That is so scarey that you started bleeding again! And how awful and terrible that the nurses lead you to believe you were miscarrying and just left you like that! Those two hours must have been hell! I am so relieved that the twins are safe and looking good and it was all just a scare. Thank goodness your sister and friend were there in DC to be with you. It seems this keeps happening when you are traveling for work--is there anyway you can cut out these trips for now?

Val~I was so excited because my temperature was elevated again this morning! But then I started Googling around and realized that that is also a side affect of progesterone and not necessarily an indication of pregnancy. Did you know about this? I almost wish I didn't research it as I felt so happy and positive when I thought my body was heating up due to a bun in the oven!

I am having AFish cramps. Did any of you have cramps during the 2ww? Im not sure it this is good or bad. They come and go and it's not constant. Im also concerned as I am not getting any of the mucus anymore!

[valerie68]

A really quick post as I have a TON of work to do and must leave ASAP. But I need to say a few things first.

Toobee~ I feel so much for you! What a terrible thing to be going through. We understand so well what you're feeling. Feelings we wish we could escape from but reality is always there. All you can do is rest,rest, rest!!! Another girl on another thread had lost a twin (Dakota) and is doing well during the pregnancy. I think you will be doing just fine once the triplet has passed. Maybe you can contact her and she will give you reassuring words as well. Big, big, gigantic hugs and write to us anytime you want.

Stefanie~ I'm sorry you're going through something like that too and the staff at the ER could just make you want to scream. You wonder why some people ever chose that profession. The good thing is that both babies are doing fine. I hope this will be your last scare as it is so tough to live through that. Hugs to you!!!

SueQiwi~ My temp was not up for the few days before the transfer while I was on progesterone. It went up afterward. I had AF type cramping on and off during the 2ww. It really sounds very promising for you! I think that you are preggo. I never have AF type cramping before AF, only the first day that it starts and sometimes not even then.
You're showing the signs of early pregnancy! Try to relax a little and trust that you are indeed pregnant!!
Big hugs.


Must run and I'll see how you are all doing tonight!!


Love to all,

Val

[stefanie]

too bee - i'm thinking of you and how hard this must be. please let us know how it goes. did you fully miscarry baby C or are you still?? I am thinking of you.


i went in today for the CVS test. and am now on modified bed rest. The NT scan looked good and now I just have to take it easy all week and not lift anything. keep good thoughts. I guess I'm in another 2ww to hear the results and finally be out of the first trimester. That will be a big milestone for me.

The twins were dancing and kicking and looked good and big which gave me hope.

stef

[kerpupples]

Stefanie - another scare you don't need! Sorry to hear about the bed rest but glad it didn't turn out worse.

toobee - Yikes! I can relate to the cramping having had the m/c but I did it under the haze of Percocet! So do they think you'll actually pass the triplet? I guess I assumed that it would remain in your uterus and be absorbed. I'm sure your other two little ones will be just fine hon.

Val - best of luck to you tomorrow! I'll be flying most of the day tomorrow but will check in tomorrow night.

All was well at my u/s today. Baby measured 8w1d (still a day ahead of schedule), heart rate was 160. We could see the placenta, umbilical cord, and arm and leg buds. Only one more u/s with me RE and then I get released to my OB. Yipee!

[stefanie]

kerpuuples
yay! great u/s appt! great great numbers....

at the hospital friday and then today - I about fainted - arms legs, jumping around. eye sockets, nose .....fully made three inch creatures.... so active....
i love the good news...

just on bed rest from the test (like an amnio) but i'm going to take it easy anyway.... no lifting at all.

stef

[slfleming1]

Stephanie and Toobee: So sorry to hear about the difficult time you have had over the last few days. It sounds incredibly scary. I wish you both only good things going forward! And congrats on the ultrasound Stephanie. It sounds wonderful!

SueQuiwi: I too had AF type cramping during the 2ww. So a good sign! Good luck!

Val - Fingers crossed for your US!

-Stacy

[toobee]

Kerpupples
Great u/s and update...so happy for you!!! Keep us posted

Valerie
Your in my thoughts and sending you lots of good posisitve vibes for a great u/s tommorrow!

SueQuiwi
your doing great...I have a gfood feeling about you and your outcome

Stephanie
I hope you resting like you should.take it easy

As for me...things are okay at the moment...what a friggen rollercoatser ride this can be....cervix still closed and as far as some of the questions you girls asked about my m/c of triplet, honestly I have no clue, this m/c has got me puzzled, I think I have had almost every type of strange m/c so far one could have...at least thats how it seems....I am really just trying to think of other things...sleeping allot...I have a Drs appt eveyrday this week at 8:30 am....Im pooped, but grateful to still be PG

[stefanie]

too bee -

thinking of you. Please keep us up to date. what a rollercoaster.

I had some bleeding yesterday again (from the CVS) we're keeping a close eye on everything. Doc is not concerned unless i get cramps. Still, for about an hour there, it felt heavy again. I do know people who w/ twins who had the CVS and bled, so I feel better that it is in fact normal. My DH and I decided I would just spend the whole week on the sofa and not take any chances.

so ... i'll be on line! LOL!

stefanie

[valerie68]

It is raining in my heart today....the baby has not grown since our last US and no heartbeat was detected. I am heartbroken...trying to stay positive but I just want to cry.
I will wait to see if I miscarry on my own as I'd like to avoid a D&C. I'm stopping the progesterone today.
Nature can be so cruel as I still feel starving all the time plus all the pulls and twinges that are going on. It is hard to understand why. We were so positive going in this morning, I thought I would see a bigger baby with a beautiful hb.
I will miss each and everyone of you as you made this journey even more enjoyable. You are all wonderful and I am so happy that some of you will be mommies....wonderful mommies.
You have all been so supportive and I can't thank you enough for all that!
I will stay a while to cheer all of you on and will follow your pregnancies closely.
Will we try again? I don't know yet as I'm just thinking of what is happening now. It is a good possibility, I'm not ready to give up. That's just not my nature.

Toobee~ I think about you and the babies every day. I know you will be fine and that you will soon carry your gorgeous twins in your arms.

Stefanie~ I'm glad you're taking it easy for now. The bleeding must be so scary but as long as you know that the babies are safe, that's a relief. Wishing you the best.

Take good care of yourselves and I'll talk to you soon.

Big hugs and much love to all!

Val

[toobee]

Valerie

I have no idea what to say. I cant imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss on so many levels. You have been such a wonderful cheerleader to everyone and you so desrved this to work. I am angry that nature can be so cruel at times. All I can say is "I pray you find the strength to try again" cause you came so close this time. I really beleive this will work for you but perhaps 3 times is a charm???. Thankyou so much for being here for me through all my madness and heartache and being a constant flow of support........I will miss you so much. Please let me know how your doing and PM me when you get a chance every now and then.

I am so sorry..........

[slfleming1]

Valerie - I am so sorry. You have been such an inspiration and cheerleader for all of us, so this seems so unfair. Take some time off and enjoy life for a while. Remember and embrace all the wonderful things you already have in your life and cherish them.

Best wishes going forward,

-Stacy

[stefanie]

Valerie -

My heart just broke as well. You have been so strong and such an inspiration to me and still are. I had a miscarriage at 39, at 12 weeks (no heartbeat) they think it could have happened around 10 weeks as that when he had stopped growing. I was hungry during those 2 weeks as well. Anyway, I just wanted to say that that is where I was at 39, and here I am at 40.


But right now, you need to heal and grieve. I think for us IVFers early pregnancy is even more real than for most people. we monitor every week and we know these babies from the time they are just a cluster of cells.
Take it easy and take care.

I have gotten so much from reading your posts, and i there is anything I can do, or you need some encouragement, do not hesitate to send a PM anytime.

You and your DH are in my thoughts today.

The Japanese are the only culture that have a ceremony for these situations. They call them water children, and their souls get called back. But they have ceremonies and actually light candles and have little statues for them. I remember feeling so alone in a sea of pregnant women when I miscarried - but slowly, as I told people, almost every other woman had a story about having a miscarriage.

I think what hurts for us, or anyone really, is when people just quickly say, 'oh, it'll happen again' . It's a lot of work for us, and everyone here knows the struggle.

we are all here for you. really.

I'm online all day this week.
stefanie.