Phrases I never want to hear again!

[Fluffypuppygal]

** "You're not getting pregant because you're too tense!"
** "You just need to adopt! There are so many children waiting to be adopted!" (From me - Ha! WHERE?!?)
** "My aunt finally had a baby when she was 82. Just be patient!"
** "Why can't you work all the holidays/overtime shifts/crappy shifts? It's not like you have kids!"
** "If you just stop (insert name of harmless activity here), you'll get pregnant!"
** "You just need to take a vacation!"
** "How many kids do you have? None? Why not? Don't you like kids? Let me interrogate you about this for half and hour and drag our heart out...."
** "You just need to try this herbal tea!"
** "Aren't you a little old to still be trying?"

And the winner of "Most Insensitive Comment from Ignorant People"...

** "Maybe God is trying to tell you something!"

[Miracle08]

Hi Fluffy!!

I am right there with you girl!!! People are soooo insensitive and dumb. I tell ya, I feel like one day I am going to punch someone in their stupid face when they give their little "advice!!!"

and who the hell would want to finally be a mom at 82?????

[loopie]

how about this one.....

so when are you going to give us a grandchild??? and then when it finally happened for us...
"oh, a boy? I was hoping for a granddaughter" - on the bright side, she did finally realize she was being rediculous and insensitive!

hoping for much success for you Fluffy!!!!


loopie

[desperate]

** "You're not getting pregant because you're too tense!"
** "You just need to adopt! There are so many children waiting to be adopted!" (From me - Ha! WHERE?!?)
** "My aunt finally had a baby when she was 82. Just be patient!"
** "Why can't you work all the holidays/overtime shifts/crappy shifts? It's not like you have kids!"
** "If you just stop (insert name of harmless activity here), you'll get pregnant!"
** "You just need to take a vacation!"
** "How many kids do you have? None? Why not? Don't you like kids? Let me interrogate you about this for half and hour and drag our heart out...."
** "You just need to try this herbal tea!"
** "Aren't you a little old to still be trying?"

And the winner of "Most Insensitive Comment from Ignorant People"...

** "Maybe God is trying to tell you something!"

I cannot agree more!! People are so stupid when it comes to their responses. They have NO idea the pain we few here are going through. My wife and I have heard all those too. Everyone has finally shut their mouths because they finally got it through their heads that we CAN'T have children. Everyone wants the hollywood ending. Well, sometimes life can suck big time.

[kesley]

I totally agree with you! I can't tell you how many times i have heard all those phrases. Some people just don't understand. I can't have kids because i have no eggs, but people still tell me i will. (i don't go into detail that i don't have any eggs) but they don't have any right to judge me on why i can't have kids if they don't even know the reason why!

[catlady]

My favorites:
"Just stop worrying about it. It will happen when the time is right."
"Just go out & get drunk, that's how it happens to everyone else."

[soready73]

catlady,
It's funny that you say "Just go out & get drunk, that's how it happens to everyone else."
When I got pregnant the 2nd time, that is what we did and I got pregnant. Unfortunately, it ended in miscarriage.

I was always counting the days and scheduling when to have sex that my husband and I were at a party one evening, and I honestly didn't even know what day I was on my cycle and my husband was like "tonight is the night!". And it was.

But, regardless, I'm still with all of you. The best is not people necessarily saying things to my DH and I, but I like when they ask our parents "They've been married for a while, and aren't getting any younger. What are they waiting for?!" Yes, like we are waiting?!!!

[karenvancouverisland]

to add to the list of ignorant things i've heard..my personal favorite is:

"you should read the book THE SECRET- then it will happen to you"

or.."i've heard of those people who adopt, then a year later they just magically get pregnant"

i so want to tell people to $%^# -off when i hear that.

[Liam'sMommy]

This is the one that put the screws to me. "Don't worry, women over forty get pregnant ALL the time". I could just shoot myself for listening to my family/friends and not my doctor.

[karenvancouverisland]

this has really annoyed me: finally having the courage to share with a friend/family member that we're struggling with fertility- and they say "i knew it!" - like they just won a bet or something.

so rude and thoughtless.

[JennJenn]

I have a better one for you guys. I confide in my sister and tell her about what I have to go through to have a baby (i am really upset) and she calls me about a week later to gloat about how excited she was that guess what??? she was pregnant. Thanks sis! I feel so much better!

[zoegirl]

Actually, my younger sister became pregnant about two months after we started fertility testing. She didn't tell me until she was 8 weeks and was actually as sensitive as she could be. However, she did become angry after a while that I was unable to be truly, effervescently happy for her. Fortunately, when she was about 6 months pregnant, our first IVF came back positive, otherwise it could have strained our relationship, I guess.

Recently, both my sisters explained to me that people are able to be happy for you while being sad for themselves. They don't resent you for having good things happen to you . . . I'm not sure if that is really true in all cases for all people . . . It certainly wasn't true for me at that time. Does that make me a bad person??!!

[karenvancouverisland]

here's a good one (on the stupid sister topic)..after finally getting PG, i had a m/c at 12 weeks..my sister phoned me, i thought, to tell me the usual 'i'm so sorry', but instead ranting about what an @#$hole our father is!

i hung up on her.

[Fluffypuppygal]

One more for the list -

"Why can't you just volunteer at a school or daycare?"

Number one - there is a big difference between hanging out and making friends with strange kids for a few hours and creating and raising a family of our own.

Number two - being around children just serves as one more big reminder that you can't have them!! (Plus, it makes you very angry when you see people with kids who shouldn't be parents in the first place! You know what I'm talking about!)

[TwinMommy]

UGH! I hated hearing this crap! Especially the God one because I believe God put people (scientists) on this earth to help us that can not get pregnant on our own!!

I hated when people would say...."oh, your time will come when it is the right time for you" WELL not if we can not get pregnant on our own! lol

Then, with some people, if you say you had IVF to get your babies they look at you like you have a disease...so I have to now be careful of whom I talk about it with!