Cautiously optimistic...

[tigersuz22]

Hi everyone!

My name is Suzanne. I started IVF in October after a diagnostic laparascopy in April. I had the lap to diagnose endometriosis, which I had been dealing with for several years. Because my husband and I had been trying to have a child for a couple of months, my doctor performed a chromotubation which showed that both of my fallopian tubes were blocked.

Even though we hadn't been trying for very long, and we're both young and theoretically have time, it's still devastating. I'm 27, my husband is 24. There is no other way to describe the feeling of not being able to conceive other than complete failure. My husband is perfectly healthy and I am in perfect health other then the endometrioisis and tubes.

We visited our fertility specialist two months after the surgery and determined that IVF was our only option. We started in October and I am approximately 1 week away from retrieval. We have 12 follicles and everything has gone "textbook" thus far.

I know that I should feel lucky, considering I have the option of IVF, I'm young, and we're in good health - but it's incredibly hard and emotionally painful. We've tried to make the daily shots fun, we are so happy after our doctor's appointments when they're so positive... but in 3 weeks I'll either be deliriously happy or incredibly disappointed. It's very difficult to remain neutral when your mind wants to either be excited or negative to prepare you for disappointment. It's the oddest mood swings I've ever experienced!

I'd love a response from anyone willing. It's refreshing to find other women who are going through the same thing and can relate to how nutty and difficult this process is. I've found that I'm even looking forward to shots every day, because they put us one day closer to knowing if this will work... I never thought I'd be happy to have my husband shoot me in the leg!

Thank you!!
Suzanne

[zoegirl]

Good luck. I also have Endo, stage 2. My IVF worked on the first try - it does happen. Try not to be discouraged if it does not work (easier said than done many women have multiple tries before it works. I wish you the best!

[JennJenn]

Tigersuz22, I love your attitude. I am pretty much going through the same thing. Both of my tubes are blocked. I am 29 and DH is 34. We have not been trying long at all but IVF is our only option. I am starting Lupron 11/12. Was it a bad experience? Ive read that the side effects are crazy. I am nervous.

Last night I could not sleep a wink because my thoughts are consumed by the success of this procedure. I am trying to think positive but you cant help but to prepare yourself for possible dissappointment. I know it'll work out. I can feel it. We are young and healthy and we WILL get that BFP (Big Fat Positive)!

I would love to have your step-by-step play of the remaining weeks, so that by the time I get to where you are...I'll know what to expect. I am sure you 2WW will be nerve-wracking but I am positive you will be a proud new mommy!

[tigersuz22]

Hi JennJenn and zoegirl!

I haven't had alot of negative side effects from anything - my husband and I were just talking last night about how we both thought it would be way harder then what it is. The lupron was surprisingly easy - the shot itself doesn't hurt and the only real side effect that I had were occasional hot flashes. It's like a wave of heat comes over you out of nowhere but it passes pretty quickly. A headache here and there, too - but it could have been stress (i'm a banker and since the market just tanked, it's a miserable time to be in banking!). Lupron was a piece of cake - don't be nervous! I thought I'd be a mood-swinging wreck but I actually felt fine.

I started menopur and gonal-f a week ago. Both are really easy shots but the menopur is like a bee sting when it's injected. It goes away after about 20 seconds. I've had abdominal pain off and on - almost like cramps, which I realized is because my ovaries will grow to be the size of grapefruits. How crazy is that!

I think the hardest thing is staying positive without getting your hopes up. My husband has been GREAT but he's really careful to be hopeful but know that it may not work. My whole thought process has just been to get through one shot at a time, one dr's appointment at a time until it's done. That way I don't freak out too much over the ER or ET. And trust me - I've been terrified of everything (especially the water sonogram and mock transfer- I thought I was going to pass out I was so scared and then I didn't even feel anything) and everything has been easy. It's just hard not to think about the process all day, every day!!!

[angelaezra]

Hello everyone,

Suzanne it seems that we are neighbors because I am in Ohio also. I am glad your first IVF cycle is going well. I finished my 1st IVF cycle towards the end of September and into the first part of October. I thought the whole process was different but uncomfortable at times. Well, the only time it was uncomfortable was towards ER and my ovaries were very, very swollen. I am happy to say my 1st IVF was a success because I received a BFP. I am now 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant. In my opinion, the whole process can seem overwhelming but with great support from DH and your positive attitude it will all be worth it once you are able to hold your beautiful baby!

Good luck to everyone...! If you need anything, please just ask. Even if it seems minor it is best to talk with others. This site has been such a wonderfeul thing for me !

Take care,

Angela

[xcited2Bpreggers]

Hi Everyone!

I also posted on the Oct/Nov/Dec IVF page but since I am brand new to these message boards I thought this would be a fitting place as well. I have been reading everyone's stories and I cannot tell you how comforting it is to know that I am not alone. My name is Michelle and unfortunately I didn't find you all sooner. I too had endometriosis along with some ovarian cysts. I had the endo and cysts removed and my husband and I have finished all the initial shots, done the ER and ET and we are now currently in our 2ww! It is only day 2 since the ET and we are already on pins and needles.

Stressing out a bit because of some pain and cramping. Can anyone tell me if this is normal??? I am currently on Estrace and Progesterone in oil. I hope these sensations are normal and that I didn't do anything too strenuous to mess this up!

I am so excited to be here with all of you. Good luck and may God Bless each and every one of us.

[angelaezra]

Hello Michelle,

The cramping is normal and it is usually a good sign only if the cramping is not continuous. For example, they only last for a few seconds. I believe I felt it when my embryo attached. I had a slight sharp pain and then it was over. I felt the same thing when I became pregnant the last time but everyone is different. Anyways, it is very difficult to go throught the 2ww but just treat your body as though you are pregnant. Your two weeks will be over soon enough. I know I looked for every symptom possible and asked myself, am I pregnant? Well, I am happy to say it was positive and I did get my BFP. Please feel free to express any of your thoughts or concerns. We all went through it or going to go through it.

Take care,

Angela

[xcited2Bpreggers]

Thank you so much for your reply Angela! It made me feel a lot better that the cramps may have been normal. Every little thing stresses me out even though I KNOW I shouldn't stress out right now It is so comforting to know that all of you are out there and that we have eachother to talk to.

I won't know anything until next Wednesday and I'm anxious I just hope and pray it is good news!

Keep up the support and positive attitudes ladies and we will all get there!

[JennJenn]

xcited2bpreggers,
I am very excited for you! I just started my BCPs on November 1st and Lupron should begin on the 12th. I see my nurse tomorrow. We will go over the calendar and she will give me the prescriptions and whatnot. I am nervouse but I am ready! I thought the whole process took much longer, but honestly by the second week of next month I will either have a BFN or a BFP. I expect the latter (being optimistic).
Suzanne, I am like you. I cant wait to begin the shots. Once that happens then the countdown begins!

[SilverAngel679]

Hey Suzanne: You sound like you have a very positive attitude and that's wonderful. I felt the same way during my first cycle and the two that followed where just as exciting but where more of a "getting back on the wagon" kind of thing.
I'm wishing you all the luck in the world and will track of your progress. Baby Dust!!!!

[tigersuz22]

Hi ladies!
Just scheduled the ER today... scheduled for this Wednesday. I'm really, really nervous (just want to be assured that I'll be totally asleep and won't remember a thing!) but I'm excited. It seems odd that it's finally here. My DH and I have spent so much time talking about this and planning that it seems unreal that we're done with the GonalF and Menopur and on to more things. I can't tell you how excited I am to not talk about follicle size anymore!!

I'm really nervous about the IM shots, though... any advice? I've been so positive about the entire process but now I'm starting to get a little nervous. I think i've just been trying to get through each shot and ultrasound and on to the next one that now that I know when things are happening, I'm starting to be scared.

Angela- congratulations!!! That's so exciting that you're expecting. Hopefully in 3 weeks, I can share the same news!!

Thank you!
Suzanne

[SilverAngel679]

YAY!!! I remeber that feeling. And don;t worry, you'll be totally asleep and won't remember a thing. It's actually kind of cool, going under. You get so relaxed and it feels so good to drift off. Then before you know it your awake and there telling you you've got 15 eggs!!!! well, that was the case with me any way. I hope you have great results like that. Good luck!!!

[tigersuz22]

Hi Silver!
Thanks so much! I'm glad that I'll be asleep. I had surgery for my endo in April and the anesthesia took awhile to kick in - plenty of time for me to build up anxiety in the process. It's nice, though- my husband is so calm about everything, even the IM shots. He's been so great about seeing the big picture and can easily talk me off the ledge when I'm either in pain or feeling down.

Congratulations on the twins!!! That's so exciting!

JennJenn - Good luck tomorrow! That's such an exciting appointment to go over the calendar. For us, it made it real - we had something to go by and we looked forward to each and every appointment (no matter how much I hate having blood drawn). And trust me - you'll be crossing off those days faster then you can imagine.

[not hopeless yet]

Well how did ER go Tiger? Tell us how you're feeling and how many follies they retrieved! You're right about this process... we just have to take it one shot at a time, one doctor appt at a time.

[tigersuz22]

Hi everyone!
Well, we had the ER on Wednesday and from 16 follies we had 22 eggs. I feel really good. The discomfort I felt before the procedure from my ovaries being so swollen was exactly how I felt when I woke up- in fact, 2 days later now I feel a heck of a lot better.
They fertilized 18 eggs- so we have 18 potential babies! Hard to believe. Gives me alot of hope that this could actually work... we go back on Sunday for the transfer.

Any advice out there for the transfer? The mock went really well. No pain, couldn't even tell it was happening.

Hard to believe we're in the homestretch...I keep waiting for something to happen, this has all gone so well. Although I will say - the IM shots aren't fun in the least bit. The needle or the PIO doesn't hurt at all- but afterwards, it feels like I was doing buns-of-steel for way too long! Ouch!

Thank you all for your support - can't wait to hear about your stories,
Suzanne