hello Girls
I would firstly just like to thank all of you for your kind words and support. We have had quite possibly the worst 5 days of our lives and it doesn't stop here either. On Thursday night possibly from all the shock, I started to bleed and passed a huge clot which I thought was the baby at first and spent the night in the labour ward as there were no beds in the Gynae ward. I just wanted to be with David.
We went to Kings on Friday and after 6 hours of scanning by all sorts of consultants and a Fetal Cardiologist our worst fears were confirmed. Our precious baby which we now know to be a little girl (I was so wrong, convinced she was a boy) has got a very serious heart defect and will certainly need immediate surgery as soon as she is born. She has a piece missing at the top of her aortic arch in her heart and the aorta and pulmaonary artery are affected like I explained in my last post. This is a defect which is quite rare and the cardiologist hasn't seen it much in his experience.She is safe all the time she is in the womb but as soon as she breaths oxygen the heart will not function properly.
Another bombshell that they dropped was that a possible cause for this defect could be a chromosone problem and the only way to find this out is to have an amnio. If she does have that as well as the heart defect her immune system will be badly affected and she will be prone to catching everything if she makes it through the operation. Also her development will be compromised and therefore her future looks bleak. Our world started to fall apart at this news as they said if she does have this chromosone problem they would suggest we terminate the pregnancy. We had to go home and over the weekend decide what to do and come back on Monday. Well, we spent the whole time crying and wondering why someone had it in for us again. I found it hard to breath and make sense of it all.
We went back to Kings on Monday and had another 5 hours of waiting and scans and decided to have the amnio in the end. We now have to wait for the results of which the preliminary ones will be back on Friday and the actual ones in 2 bloody weeks, by then I will be 26 weeks!
If we go to term I will have a C-section at The Brompton Hospital at St Georges where there will be a cardiac team on standby to take over. If we have her before 34 weeks then she will not survive the operation and we have to come to terms with it all.
I never thought anything could be worse than the IVF but I now realise that I was very much mistaken. We now have quite possibly the worst wait of our lives and when we get those results we have a really terrible decision to make if the results are bad. Either way our daughter has got a huge hill to climb and I feel so sad for her. She has been through so much so far and does not deserve to have this as well.
I thank you all again for your support and concern and hope we will have some better news soon.
Take care
Love Dagny and David xx
Still here for now, but very confused.
Oh Dagny
I'm totally devastated by your news, as I know you and David will be too. Its just so tragic. After everything we go through to get pregnant, is it too much to then have a normal pregnancy.
Nothing I can say or do will help make you feel any better. I just want you to know that you have got all my support and I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to or cry with (I can't promise I won't cry too!)
Thinking of you, David and your special little girl at this truly awful time.
Lots and love of love
nikola.xxxxxxxx
I'm totally devastated by your news, as I know you and David will be too. Its just so tragic. After everything we go through to get pregnant, is it too much to then have a normal pregnancy.
Nothing I can say or do will help make you feel any better. I just want you to know that you have got all my support and I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to or cry with (I can't promise I won't cry too!)
Thinking of you, David and your special little girl at this truly awful time.
Lots and love of love
nikola.xxxxxxxx
Dagny,
there is nothing i can say that can be an adequate reaction to the unbelievable and cruel trial which you and David seem to be going through. All I can say is that i send you my love and deepest heartfelt sympathy. No one should have to go through such suffering. Wish you all the strength in the world and even though hardly a churchgoing person i s i will be praying for your baby, you and David.
again all my love,
juliana XXXXX
there is nothing i can say that can be an adequate reaction to the unbelievable and cruel trial which you and David seem to be going through. All I can say is that i send you my love and deepest heartfelt sympathy. No one should have to go through such suffering. Wish you all the strength in the world and even though hardly a churchgoing person i s i will be praying for your baby, you and David.
again all my love,
juliana XXXXX
Dagny
Words fail me and I think that by now you must know that me of all people must have some idea what you are going through. Perhaps I do and that is why I just am taken back to the nightmare I am going through but on the grand scale of things this is just worse. We as you know had no choice and no agonizing over what to do and what might be and want might have beens........... Nature took our choice away. You my sweet have to go through all that pain and I can't pretend for a moment to know what you are going through............ I can only imagine and hope that against all my and your fears that it is not chromosomal and that you have a fighting chance to give her a life that you all truly deserve. What I do know is that the fight I am afraid is the three of yours alone and of course you know we are all here routing for you but you will I am sure feel very alone and very frightened. Hang on to David - I hung on to Ian in my circumstances and this is the only thing that got me through - that and the support from all my friends that I relied on when I surfaced. WE all send you loads of love and there is nothing we can do - we all know that and wish with all our hearts it was different. Dagny I send you all the love, strength and hope that I can find and wish to see a "miracle" again in your life - I know you deserve it.
With love
Tracey
xxx
Words fail me and I think that by now you must know that me of all people must have some idea what you are going through. Perhaps I do and that is why I just am taken back to the nightmare I am going through but on the grand scale of things this is just worse. We as you know had no choice and no agonizing over what to do and what might be and want might have beens........... Nature took our choice away. You my sweet have to go through all that pain and I can't pretend for a moment to know what you are going through............ I can only imagine and hope that against all my and your fears that it is not chromosomal and that you have a fighting chance to give her a life that you all truly deserve. What I do know is that the fight I am afraid is the three of yours alone and of course you know we are all here routing for you but you will I am sure feel very alone and very frightened. Hang on to David - I hung on to Ian in my circumstances and this is the only thing that got me through - that and the support from all my friends that I relied on when I surfaced. WE all send you loads of love and there is nothing we can do - we all know that and wish with all our hearts it was different. Dagny I send you all the love, strength and hope that I can find and wish to see a "miracle" again in your life - I know you deserve it.
With love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
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Helen Reid
- Regular
- Posts: 276
- Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 3:58 pm
- Location: Ayrshire
Oh Dagny, what awful news. I really don't know what to say in response to such sad news about your daughter. You, David and your darling little girl are in our thoughts. If there's anything I can do at all then please let me know.
Thinking of you.
Love Jules
Thinking of you.
Love Jules
TTC 5 years. Daniel & Charlotte born 22.03.02, 1st ICSI treatment. TTC for 4 further years. 2nd ICSI cycle abandoned, 3rd cycle BFN. Looking forward to being a happy family of 4.
Dagny, so sorry to hear your devastating news. As you said, just when you think it can't get any worse, you and David have yet more to deal with. I'll be thinking about you over the next few vital days. I pray you don't, but you may have a very difficult decision to make. If so, you will need to make it quickly but with absolute conviction of what you're doing is the right thing. I'm sure David will be as supportive as humanly possible but this may be your call.
You're very much in my thoughts.
love
Debra.
You're very much in my thoughts.
love
Debra.
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LORRAINE G
- Regular
- Posts: 234
- Joined: Sat May 03, 2003 12:24 pm
Dear Dagny
I am so, so sorry to read your post. Like the others say nothing we say will ease the pain and confusion you are experiencing, but I am really thinking about you and pray that everything works out fine. You don't deserve this and it just seems so cruel, but somehow you will get through it.....especially as it sounds like your little baby girl is a fighter.
I'm sending you and David loads of love and am thinking of you all.
Love, Michelle xxxx
I am so, so sorry to read your post. Like the others say nothing we say will ease the pain and confusion you are experiencing, but I am really thinking about you and pray that everything works out fine. You don't deserve this and it just seems so cruel, but somehow you will get through it.....especially as it sounds like your little baby girl is a fighter.
I'm sending you and David loads of love and am thinking of you all.
Love, Michelle xxxx
Our darling son Jake was born in October 2004 on our 3rd IVF attempt. I have PCOS. We're now trying again naturally, before embarking on our next FET IVF possibly late 2005... so watch this space!!!
Dear Dagny
I am so so sorry that you have got to deal with what must be the worst time of your life. You have come so far and to be dealt a blow like this is devastating. Nothing I can say will make the next 2 weeks even the tiniest bit bearable but I just wanted you to know that we are all here hoping and praying for you, dh and most of all your precious little girl.
love Dawn
xxxx
I am so so sorry that you have got to deal with what must be the worst time of your life. You have come so far and to be dealt a blow like this is devastating. Nothing I can say will make the next 2 weeks even the tiniest bit bearable but I just wanted you to know that we are all here hoping and praying for you, dh and most of all your precious little girl.
love Dawn
xxxx