Hi
I would like to ask if you think i am being a bit over the top.
My mother in law who i love vmuch is doing my head in. I could not sleep last night for thinking about it.
They come every sunday night (apart from the last 4 thank god).Last night they came in (my father in law was there too he is an a***hole and i cannot bear to be in the same room as) she asked how we were the ususal. Not once was the fact i was pg was mentioned until they were going out of the door and my dh mentioned the baby show and she hinted that it was too early to start thinking about buying things. I just said that the bugaboo company was going to be there and i would love to see the one you are all talking about and then she asked about the price and my dh said i am not paying that for a pram and then she started and i just said i wasn't thinking of buying it just wanted to have a look and my mum was buying the pram anyway(not that i would expect her to pay for it all). Then i justed said i will have want i f***ing want and walked away.
She is excited about the baby as her sister told me but she just wants to be cautious because of my history but i am nearly 16 wks now the furthest i have been and it is really starting to annoy me. She has not told anyone that i know of and when all of the girls get together she doesn't say much, all the rest of the girls are so excited and talk about it as they all know how much this means to me. They're has been a couple of other things but i think i have rambled enough. My family and even my mums neighbour shows more excitment than her.
Am i being over the top. My dh doesn't say much but his friend said he will just crack shortly so i know he has been talking about it. He doesn't like to get me started about things like that because i just get all upset.
Thanks
Helen
15wks 7days
I am being over the top
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Helen Reid
- Regular
- Posts: 276
- Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 3:58 pm
- Location: Ayrshire
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Helen Reid
- Regular
- Posts: 276
- Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 3:58 pm
- Location: Ayrshire
Helen
I don't think you are being over the top - even allowing for hormones. You are clearly very fond of her - how about you sit down on your own with her for a chat and explain how excited you are and how much you would like to involve her and how she must be worried etc but how about you show here a picture of a bugaboo on the internet and see what she thinks - you know the stuff. Explain how upset you have been and put it down to hormones if it makes her feel better but then you could ask her what she feels you should be doing - at least you know where you stand and vice versa - and explain you all have a chance to be involved but don't want dh to be caught in the middle and feel upset. Perhaps it will do the trick - sometimes we do have to tread on egg shells with them I know - blooming nuisance but at the end of the day peace is better but do enjoy your pg and you should have what pram you flaming well want - see you have set me off
Love
Tracey
xxx
I don't think you are being over the top - even allowing for hormones. You are clearly very fond of her - how about you sit down on your own with her for a chat and explain how excited you are and how much you would like to involve her and how she must be worried etc but how about you show here a picture of a bugaboo on the internet and see what she thinks - you know the stuff. Explain how upset you have been and put it down to hormones if it makes her feel better but then you could ask her what she feels you should be doing - at least you know where you stand and vice versa - and explain you all have a chance to be involved but don't want dh to be caught in the middle and feel upset. Perhaps it will do the trick - sometimes we do have to tread on egg shells with them I know - blooming nuisance but at the end of the day peace is better but do enjoy your pg and you should have what pram you flaming well want - see you have set me off
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
Helen
Tracey's advice is probably much better than mine, because I'm far less tolerant and my attitude would be if you don't want to be involved then don't - bugger off! (See I told you, her advice was better!)
Perhaps leaving her in the cold is what she could do with, don't mention it and she'll soon want to know what is happening!! I can't imagine the scenario where she doesn't want to get excited. The whole point of being a grandparent not a parent is that they are allowed all the good bits without the worry of being solely responsible!
As for the pram. As you all know, we had the problem of everyone wanting to buy the pram and all parents being pissed off when we said we were buying them! But at the end of the day my thoughts were, we've waited this long, if I want to buy a bugaboo then I'll damn well buy one, I'm not going to settle for a different one cos I feel guilty asking someone else to pay for something so expensive!
Helen, you'll never please everyone and the one person who you should please especially at the moment when you are pregnant is YOURSELF!!! Take a leaf out of my book and be a bit selfish and do what you want to do for a change!!!
My experience of mother-in-laws is that they hate being left out of things. So go quiet on her and she'll soon be back asking questions and wanting to buy things!!!!
You are bound to feel hormonal - you're pregnant!!!! The good news is you will soon start feeling fab as you hit the middle trimester and you'll feel full of energy, have gorgeous hair and skin and just enjoy being pregnant. It goes so quickly, don't waste a second on cranky, crabbit (new word!!) old biddies!!!
love nikoal.xx
ps now please ignore my advice and adopt Tracey's far more rational and sensible approach!!!
Tracey's advice is probably much better than mine, because I'm far less tolerant and my attitude would be if you don't want to be involved then don't - bugger off! (See I told you, her advice was better!)
Perhaps leaving her in the cold is what she could do with, don't mention it and she'll soon want to know what is happening!! I can't imagine the scenario where she doesn't want to get excited. The whole point of being a grandparent not a parent is that they are allowed all the good bits without the worry of being solely responsible!
As for the pram. As you all know, we had the problem of everyone wanting to buy the pram and all parents being pissed off when we said we were buying them! But at the end of the day my thoughts were, we've waited this long, if I want to buy a bugaboo then I'll damn well buy one, I'm not going to settle for a different one cos I feel guilty asking someone else to pay for something so expensive!
Helen, you'll never please everyone and the one person who you should please especially at the moment when you are pregnant is YOURSELF!!! Take a leaf out of my book and be a bit selfish and do what you want to do for a change!!!
My experience of mother-in-laws is that they hate being left out of things. So go quiet on her and she'll soon be back asking questions and wanting to buy things!!!!
You are bound to feel hormonal - you're pregnant!!!! The good news is you will soon start feeling fab as you hit the middle trimester and you'll feel full of energy, have gorgeous hair and skin and just enjoy being pregnant. It goes so quickly, don't waste a second on cranky, crabbit (new word!!) old biddies!!!
love nikoal.xx
ps now please ignore my advice and adopt Tracey's far more rational and sensible approach!!!
Helen
Take all the advice and try and mix and match - probably somewhere between N and I - our mother in laws are both too excited for words - that can be just as annoying - keep having to rein them in! And mine would just cry if I was rude so all very difficult.
Think we have all got the same idea - try and do what you are happy with - if this means you can do it without upsetting anyone then go for it!
Love
Tracey
xxx
Take all the advice and try and mix and match - probably somewhere between N and I - our mother in laws are both too excited for words - that can be just as annoying - keep having to rein them in! And mine would just cry if I was rude so all very difficult.
Think we have all got the same idea - try and do what you are happy with - if this means you can do it without upsetting anyone then go for it!
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
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Helen Reid
- Regular
- Posts: 276
- Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 3:58 pm
- Location: Ayrshire
Hi Girls
Thankyou for all your advice i think i might try to talk to her but i will leave it until the weekend and see how she is on Saturday when all the girls are there. I spoke to mum last night as well and she is starting to get really p***ed off to and she is not like that (i'm like her very placid until we get pushed too far) so maybe she might have a quiet word in her ear they get on really well.
I went into my old work today as i thought they had not heard but they all had and it was great i love talking about being pg they were all excitied and happy for me as some of them knew how long i had been waiting for this moment. I finally started to clear the room thats going to be the nursery (i had a burst of energy but nothing to heavy) i should start to get things organised maybe that will show her.
Helen
16wks
Thankyou for all your advice i think i might try to talk to her but i will leave it until the weekend and see how she is on Saturday when all the girls are there. I spoke to mum last night as well and she is starting to get really p***ed off to and she is not like that (i'm like her very placid until we get pushed too far) so maybe she might have a quiet word in her ear they get on really well.
I went into my old work today as i thought they had not heard but they all had and it was great i love talking about being pg they were all excitied and happy for me as some of them knew how long i had been waiting for this moment. I finally started to clear the room thats going to be the nursery (i had a burst of energy but nothing to heavy) i should start to get things organised maybe that will show her.
Helen
16wks
Good for you Helen, there is nothing like a good clear out to make you feel better. And what better room to start clearing than your nursery!!!
I must make a start on mine too - at the moment we use it as our dressing room and so its full of our clothes.......these will have to find new homes!!
I also need to clear out my office, as I will no longer be working - hurrah!!!
So much to do.....
glad you are feeling much better! Ignore the old bat - eek did I just say that???
love nikola.xx
I must make a start on mine too - at the moment we use it as our dressing room and so its full of our clothes.......these will have to find new homes!!
I also need to clear out my office, as I will no longer be working - hurrah!!!
So much to do.....
glad you are feeling much better! Ignore the old bat - eek did I just say that???
love nikola.xx
Nikola
DO NOT encourage Helen to be rude thank you - get on and do some clearing up - follow her example but not all at once - I have seen how much you have to do - a JCB might be the answer
Love
Tracey
xxx
DO NOT encourage Helen to be rude thank you - get on and do some clearing up - follow her example but not all at once - I have seen how much you have to do - a JCB might be the answer
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
No need to go on the defensive 
It is not all your stuff in the office - DH has rather a lot in there too and there is the cheese plant minus a few bits where Gabbie chewed it.
I actually meant the nursery or didn't really - was thinking of the attic where mothercare/john lewis is - you know the room without the avent breast pump in electric but the medela one!
Love
Tracey
xxx
It is not all your stuff in the office - DH has rather a lot in there too and there is the cheese plant minus a few bits where Gabbie chewed it.
I actually meant the nursery or didn't really - was thinking of the attic where mothercare/john lewis is - you know the room without the avent breast pump in electric but the medela one!
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
You have now, quite rightly, pointed out three rooms which are a complete and utter tip and need sorting!!! Today, could be the day I make a start......its so cold I'd like to do something that invovles staying inside!!!
You just don't know where to start.............with a black bin liner probably!!!
Did you know that we have to keep all our files/records for SIX years!!! I'm going to have candidates CVs knocking around to remind me of what I did before I became a suckling pig for another SIX years!!!!! As if.
I'm going to Ikea with my mum on Monday so I'll buy some proper storage boxes and file stuff from my office. Once I've sorted out the dressing room and transformed it into a nursery - all the JL stuff can find a new home......
At least I've decided on my paint.......sort of!
love nikola.xxxx
You just don't know where to start.............with a black bin liner probably!!!
Did you know that we have to keep all our files/records for SIX years!!! I'm going to have candidates CVs knocking around to remind me of what I did before I became a suckling pig for another SIX years!!!!! As if.
I'm going to Ikea with my mum on Monday so I'll buy some proper storage boxes and file stuff from my office. Once I've sorted out the dressing room and transformed it into a nursery - all the JL stuff can find a new home......
At least I've decided on my paint.......sort of!
love nikola.xxxx
Which paint? I liked the Egyptian cotton but I think you preferred somethign else!
6 yrs god - that and all my tax returns and bits of paper - I share my office with Katherine's bedroom - just well she only stays every other weekend - looks as if I will have to go to Ikea. Do you have to keep hard copies - what has happened to paperless offices - as if they are not boring enough without being reminded for 6 yrs!
Love
Tracey
xxx
6 yrs god - that and all my tax returns and bits of paper - I share my office with Katherine's bedroom - just well she only stays every other weekend - looks as if I will have to go to Ikea. Do you have to keep hard copies - what has happened to paperless offices - as if they are not boring enough without being reminded for 6 yrs!
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
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Helen Reid
- Regular
- Posts: 276
- Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 3:58 pm
- Location: Ayrshire
Hi Girls
Know what you mean about paper work we have to keep all my dh's tax returns etc as well. I have managed to sort some of it out but i keep finding receipts for this years hopefully it won't be too long until he sorts them. Our nursery is where we keep all our paperwork we have only a small amount and i can only imagine how much paperwork you have. I also have my sisters wardrobe and chester drawers and tv in there too (she is waiting for a house and i said i would store them for her) but she will just have to take them to my mums. As i have said before (i think) we have to do some major clearing out i have four wardrobes, 3 chester drawers, and two vanity units in three bedrooms. My loft is full of wedding presents (been married for 9 years this year) some of my sisters stuff that she can't take to my mums and all my dh's work stuff. I am still waiting for him to put all the xmas decorations away in the loft.
Rambled on again
Helen
Know what you mean about paper work we have to keep all my dh's tax returns etc as well. I have managed to sort some of it out but i keep finding receipts for this years hopefully it won't be too long until he sorts them. Our nursery is where we keep all our paperwork we have only a small amount and i can only imagine how much paperwork you have. I also have my sisters wardrobe and chester drawers and tv in there too (she is waiting for a house and i said i would store them for her) but she will just have to take them to my mums. As i have said before (i think) we have to do some major clearing out i have four wardrobes, 3 chester drawers, and two vanity units in three bedrooms. My loft is full of wedding presents (been married for 9 years this year) some of my sisters stuff that she can't take to my mums and all my dh's work stuff. I am still waiting for him to put all the xmas decorations away in the loft.
Rambled on again
Helen