need hope

[Wendy]

I really hope some of you guys can give me a bit of hope. I've just tested and got a negative. I'm sad but also feel guilty as I already have a beautiful baby boy from a previous icsi and feel like I'm being punished for my greed in wanting another baby. (or maybe its because I had them put back on friday 13th ?)
Anyway to get to the point, i need hope. I've got two 'frozen embies' something I've never had before and am hoping to have them 'put back' next month however I really don't think I'm going to have the right mental attitude towards them. The embryos that have just failed to implant were, according to the biologist 'magnificant' I thought I did everything right - certainly everything I did last time when it worked yet it didn't - I was even far more relaxed as the pressure was no where near the same as before I had a baby and I was convinced it would be a success. I just can't help thinking that frosties won't stand a chance - I guess I need some positive stories from the pregnant ones who are pregnant with frozen embryos after failing with fresh ones - does it happen ? Yours Hopefully, Wendy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[DebraP]

Hi Wendy our stories are SOOO similar I just had to reply.

I've also got a baby from previous tmt and feel as guilty as hell even posting on the general board at times. I feel as if I shouldn't mention her plus that I'm being greedy, selfish and thoughtless to others. It was first time lucky for us and we never doubted that our FET last month would work, sadly it didn't BUT....we had ET yesterday with our last remaining eggs from the original ivf and all I can say is that I'm doing my absolute best to make this a model 2ww. I feel much more positive and have had a day of bedrest purely for the psychological lift. My 9m baby has spent all day with her first ever daycare provider, she'll be home in an hour and I can't wait.

My advice is go for it, people do get lucky with FET (hopefully a few +++ stories will follow) but you know so much to give you hope already - that you can get pregnant, that your body can carry and produce a child, that you've already made it through labour...you've won once, you can do it again!

love
Debra.

[Tracey S]

This site is a nightmare to get on this pm!!!!
Right here goes ................ Honestly you two for goodness sake get out the birch twigs and flail yourselves for your negative attitude - (not so much you Debra) but for feeling guilty. i understand why but it is stories like these that keep us all going - to see healthy IVF babies born.
Right - story of hope. Here goes......... my first fresh ivf cycle was August 2002 and was ectopic so fresh worked just wrong direction. No frosties but enough eggs to sink a battle ship! Next cycle fresh and negative but 9 frosties! 3rd FET - negative. 4th FET and bingo pg but lost him at 20 weeks - nightmare. Now 5th FET and pg again with twins and fingers crossed my turn - 16 wks tomorrow.
FET's do work - sarah had twins and we have more pg ladies on here.
The key is relax and carry on as if nothing has changed - don't change the routine too much. Good luck and you can both do it - you have been pg before which makes it easier as you have a baby in one sense but harder as it is presumed that it is always easier to get pg when already been pg so the PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!
I look forward to seeing you over here soon
Love
Tracey
xxx

[Juliana]

Wendy,
my first pregnancy was from a FET (sadly a m/c but this has nothing to do with it), in fact in my hospital in the Netherlands some of the researchers just published a paper claiming FET might produce better results in terms of babies being carried to term, i've had an interesting talk with some of the doctors who even think embryos have a better chance in a natural cycle. So there is no reason to think FET embryos are worse than fresh (this said that's what my dp says, seems kind of intuitively right, but I go with research). maybe you are just having a low moment, so did i when i first came on this forum but have been given so much encouragement since then i've realised there is always hope... and now i am pg with twins, just getting used to the idea of 2! so maybe there are many good reasons to stay positive...
love,
juliana

[Wendy]

Hi guys, thank you for the quick responses. I've just been going through the rest of the posts (very slowly as its a nightmare today as you say) and after reading Dagneys story, I feel even guiltier, and now i'm feeling guilty for feeling guilty and my backs red raw with thrashing and the sack cloth itches like hell !! It certainly puts things in proportion and i've also see loads of +ves after FET, so feeling better thank you.
You have reminded me tracey, of how good it felt to hear positive stories when i first came onto this site 2 an a half yrs ago when it first started. By the way how do I get the bit at the bottom to come up - age, number yrs trying, number of attempts etc ie where do i put the info ?
loads of love wendy xxxxx

[Helen Reid]

Hi Wendy

No need to feel guilty about anything. I had a fet in november and i am pg so it does work.

I know a woman who had a fet and she had a baby boy last year and has 25 frozen embroys left.

Helen

[Tracey S]

Wendy

Go in to profile and there is a signature bit at the bottom - slam it all in there.
Good luck
Love
Tracey
xxx

[phil]

wendy, i don't have experience with frozen embies as i never had enough unfortunately but i have read success stories with them. i wish you lots of positive wishes and hope everything goes well.

guilt is a debilitating and awful emotion. you have every right to want and pursue having another baby and when that doesn't happen easily undoubtedley you'll go through emotions as us first timers do. again, i hope it all goes well.

best wishes

phil