I am still in the state of shock - but have to tell people and since I am a "stalker" on this board - mainly in the IVF Forum - but I thought it would be OK to post here.
I had an ultrasound at week 35 and everything was great. Scott measured and weighed EXACTLY what he should have for his delivery date of 12/11/08. But, for his 36 week check - yesterday (only 12 days later) they could not find a heartbeat. I was induced and delivered "Scott Harris" (4lbs. 14oz. and 20 in.). The guess is that when all was done my placenta was small - only 8.5 oz. (it should have been around 2 lbs.). The doctors guess (and I am grasping on to anything - guess or not) is that the since the placenta did not increase with Scott that there was a point - just after week 35 that there was not enough oxygen getting from me to Scott so he died. We have gone from getting ready for a Baby Shower Thursday to planning a funeral.
I find it ironic that I never "joined" the December 2008 Babies board - but I did follow everyone progress, read everyone posts, and checked it a couple times a day. I felt part of their group - even if I was not posting. In a way I am glad I never posted there - because they would not understand what I am going through - only you guys who have "Loved and Lost" will. I guess I am just sharing this with you guys, because in the past everyone has shared so much with me and I have learned a lot on this board.
Since there were no warning signs or anything unusual - I am still in state of shock - followed by the feeling of emptiness. I know on this forum it is a common feeling and figure you guys can relate to all of this. All I can say right now is LIFE SUCKS!!!
Thanks for letting me vent.
Tracy
Remembering "Scott Harris"
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garfieldtracy
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Remembering "Scott Harris"
Last edited by garfieldtracy on Mon Nov 24, 2008 2:46 am, edited 3 times in total.
even thou at at times you may feal alone please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
i wish no one wouold ever have to go threw this hell.
i have prayed so much over the years and that has helped me and my friends have helped me.
i often go back threw and read the poems and different ppost.
pm me if you would like my e-mail.
i wish no one wouold ever have to go threw this hell.
i have prayed so much over the years and that has helped me and my friends have helped me.
i often go back threw and read the poems and different ppost.
pm me if you would like my e-mail.
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
Tracy
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't even imagine the pain and shock you must be feeling right now. God bless your little boy. I hope that you can find peace as you work through your grief. My prayers are with you.
Best
Mel
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't even imagine the pain and shock you must be feeling right now. God bless your little boy. I hope that you can find peace as you work through your grief. My prayers are with you.
Best
Mel
Me: 36 DH: 40
* 8 transferred embryos from 3 Fresh IVF cycles and 3 FET that failed (2005-2009)
* 1 M/C 11 wks FET (May 2008)
* Blessed DD born 08 Nov 06 from FET.
[img]http://www.flickr.com/photos/melmaialee/4907034212/[/img]
* 8 transferred embryos from 3 Fresh IVF cycles and 3 FET that failed (2005-2009)
* 1 M/C 11 wks FET (May 2008)
* Blessed DD born 08 Nov 06 from FET.
[img]http://www.flickr.com/photos/melmaialee/4907034212/[/img]
I am so sorry Tracy!!! It was soo sad to read your post...although it does happen, and to many women, I couldnt believe it...I had tears in my eyes....Im going through a lot myself...had a miscarriage-lost heartbeat....then an ectopic and again now looks like another ectopic....just recently I wanted to GIVE UP! and LIFE just doesnt seem fair.... but there is always HOPE! believe it!!!
My prayers are with you....hope youre OK now!
My prayers are with you....hope youre OK now!