The Over 40 Crowd

children · Post by **children** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:52 pm

Catharine,

I don't know how you do it, travel already with an infant without any help?

I had both parents-in-laws here from the beginning and they stayed 6 weeks to help out and I could not go anywhere but staying home! I went back to work 2h/day after 3 weeks, though. Sometimes going to restaurants, and that was it!

My third trimester is the best among all, except getting up every h or so at nights to toilets. Surprisingly, nausea is gone completely and even heartburns is subsided, which is not what I expected. The baby moves a lot compared to my last pg with DD. From next visit on, I will be checking with ob every 2 weeks.

I can relate what you said that you miss pg. Before my DD was born, I told everyone that I wanted her out early. They said, you may wish she stayed inside longer because that was more manageable. After she was born, I understood what they said.

But I still prefer to see a live baby than feel one, I am constantly worried about my belly or placenta could not sustain his fast growing. There was one girl here on board and she lost her baby at 36 week, that story scared me a lot. She checked at 35 weeks, the baby was fine! Worries and more worries, constantly.

Rhonda,

Focus on positives, enjoy your two kids and life with DH for now. If having a biological child for your DH is the priority in life, you may look into finance aid programs for ivfs, there are some options. Talk to your clinic, there are professionals know much more options than we do. You can always try to get your child first and worry about paying back later.

Tammy,

Hope your headaches go away quickly!

Yasmina

garfieldtracy · Post by **garfieldtracy** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:21 am

Hi everyone. I hope you don't mind my joining your board. Actually, I have been a stalker on this site for awhile and have posted only a few times. I have never joined a topic, but I have followed a few. This has been one - I want everyone to know what a help/support it has been reading all the posts - especially when I started this journey. I also have been following the December Babies 2008 - as you can see from my "signature" we were expecting our little one 12/11/08. However, at my routine OB/GYN appt. at week 36 they no longer found a heartbeat. I posted a remembrance under "Babies- Loved and Lost" called "Remembering Scott Harris" - that gives the background.

I finally decided to join your topic because you guys are the ones who understand the best about the "time" pressure. We are going to try again ASAP, but I am so scared that I will not get pregnant again. I know there are donor eggs, but at this point and time I still want to try my own eggs. I figure that with 1 chemical pregnancy and 1 pregnancy that lasted 36 weeks - I hope my eggs are still good. The last pregnancy we had an amnio and it came back with no issues. The only thing that the DR saw that was unusual was I had a small placenta when Scott was born. This may/or may not have been the problem - we are waiting for the autopsy results (and even then we may never know what really happened).

I am just hoping and praying that we can get pregnant again, and the more I think of it, the more I know I will need support this time around. I hope you don't mind my crashing here for awhile.

Thanks,
Tracy

teachertam · Post by **teachertam** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:48 pm

Tracy: Welcome to this site. I am so very sorry to hear your sad story. I cannot imagine carrying a baby to 36 weeks and then losing that child. My thoughts are with you and your DH.

I would definitely want to try again with my own eggs if I were you. You are young on this site. I got pregnant naturally while waiting for a FET and my Andrew was born 2/28/07. We are now going to use our 4 frozen eggs to try for a sibling. There are several women on this site who have had babies with their own eggs.

Take care,
Tammy

children · Post by **children** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:05 pm

Hi Tracy,

I read your story at "Babies- Loved and Lost" and I was/am very sorry for the loss of your baby. I wish that you will find some answers to put your mind at peace and to prevent it from happening again in the future.

Trying again as quickly as you possibly can is certainly a positive way of get on your life. I agree with you and Tammy, your history is very promising and 42 is indeed young among us. At the "IVF" site has also another over 40 group and there are many women there who just recently got pg, which is very encouraging!

As Tammy mentioned, we have quite few women on this thread who have been pg with our own eggs. I am one of them and all my eggs were 3m over than 43 yrs old while they were retrieved. I had gone through few FET cycles and got pg twice with this batch of frozen embryos, as indicated in my signature file.

Yes you are right about the fact that we understand time pressure! We also are stronger and wiser with age. We should not let the time pressure gets in the way. We are confident that we will get what we want in life. I am very hopeful for you to get a baby in your next cycle.

Welcome and good luck!

Tammy,

How are you feeling, is the headache finally gone? I am sorry that I cannot be of any help in this. When do they monitor your lining? For me, it was at 14th day of stimulation that they checked and then I was always at 8~10 mm, which is what they wanted, but I always had low E2 level, so they then put me on estrace, 2~4 mg/day for 2~4 days. I always did my transfer on 20th day of stimulation. Please update on your progress and very best luck on this cycle!

Yasmina

garfieldtracy · Post by **garfieldtracy** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:35 pm

It is nice to be the "young" one on the block. I am turning 43 in April so we will probably get the ER/ET completed a few months before. Last time we only got 4 eggs/all 4 fertilized and we put all 4 back - 1 was dividing too fast so you could say we only put 3 back. I am currently waiting for the bleeding to stop (yep, got to deliver Scott naturally). Then DH and I are trying get PG naturally that month, but I will be on the phone to the clinic telling them when my next AF would be expected and to get the drugs to start with them in month 2 (figure that will be mid/end January). I know this sounds weird, but I am disappointed that my clinic will not be able to claim this year as a "live birth" on their statisitcs. It is nothing they did - but they still will not get the credit.

It has been a long journey - to be back at the begining. I waited till after we got the amnio tests back before I donated my extra drugs back to the clinic. We then we holding the baby showers late - actually 2 were scheduled the week of Scott's funeral - that sucked - instead of going to baby showers we were going to a funeral. I just never thought this would happen - the ET was on Easter, I found out I was PG at work and my boss was the first one to know (this was exactly 1 year after her mother's death) and we figured she was looking out for me from above. Then there was all the well wishers and support from everyone (work, skiiers, neighbors, etc.). Also, he was named after my oldest brother that died after only 48 hrs. My mom was touched that I would name our son after her first (so we figured he was also looking out after him). Then to have this happen - yikes. My poor mom had to re-live the loss of a baby again. Just doesn't seem fair ( I know life is not fair - but sometimes it really sucks).

Tonight I am going back to the hospital to their holiday gathering where people make ornaments in remembrance of the children they lost. These ornaments are then the one used to decorate the tree in front hallway.

I just can't wait to start trying again - right now I just feel down in the dumps waiting. At least when we start trying or even the drugs - it will feel the train is moving forward again.

Thanks for letting me vent.
Tracy

children · Post by **children** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:53 pm

Tracy,

You did what you could and no one could ever expect losing a child at 36 week! That is plain cruel. There is nothing you could do to prevent this from happening. I have full admiration to you and your strength. In the mean time, I do wish that your dr. find some kind of explanations other than just a small placenta, which most Obs don't check this. I never had an ultrasound check after 20 weeks in both of my pgs, which means checking the size of placenta is not a general practice of obs. This alone adds a lot of stress to us pg women - that is why I said I prefer holding a live baby to feeling one moving in the womb.

I cannot imagine how tough your life is at the moment, from welcoming Scott to attending all the events related to the loss of him. I feel helpless to you and I can only offer my sincere sympathy and hope for your future child here. My best wishes to you and your family. May Scott be happy in heaven!

Yasmina

garfieldtracy · Post by **garfieldtracy** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:46 pm

Rhonda - keep us posted on your ski trip - where you at. I love skiing, but am not going this year. Hope the snow is wonderful where you are at !! I might one of the few that LOVES winter !!

Yasmina - keep positive about your pregnancy. My situation was definately not the norm. You will be fine. I want to hear some great news from you soon !! I need to hear the good stories to keep my spirits up.

Tracy

teachertam · Post by **teachertam** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:50 pm

Good morning ladies:

Yasmina: I am not getting those PM headaches, so I guess my body has become accustomed to the estrace.

Tracy: I read your blog and can't imagine what you and your DH are going through. I wish you the best of luck on your upcoming cycle. I got pregnant naturally, so it can be done!

Hello to Rhonda, Catharine and Natasha.

Tammy

garfieldtracy · Post by **garfieldtracy** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:13 pm

Tammy - thanks for the encouraging news about getting PG naturally. DH and I will try after my next AF. Hopefully it will happen - but just in case I will be calling my clinic to start after the 2nd AF (just in case).

Tracy

Catharine · Post by **Catharine** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 8:29 pm

Hi All

Tracy-When I read your post, tears came to my eyes...my heart goes out to you and your DH during this difficult time....I am so sorry for your loss.

Thinking of you Rhonda and hoping peace comes to you and your DH soon...keep the faith for you never know what is around the corner for you two....

Yasmina- are you getting anxious yet?

Tammy-how are you holding up? glad to hear the headaches have disappeared.

DD continues to keep me busy during our waking hours....she's been a wee bit fussy lately, to the point of down right unconsolable...I'm definitely suffering from cabin fever...today I wanted to get out and get some exercise. I thought perhaps loading up the stroller and going to the park for a few rounds. Well, the weather soured and we have rain here now. If it were not for the holiday season I would head to a local Mall and do some rounds there, but I'm not one for crowds and despite what they say about the economy these days the Mall parking lot is full...perhaps just alot of people window shoping...Oh to be able to get out and about...

Thinking of each and everyone of you. Sending out the PMA.

Catharine

children · Post by **children** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:00 pm

Hi Catharine,

I was just thinking about you these days because you are the one who enjoyed pg which I don't! I have been always feeling miserable almost the whole time! I am sure many women on board would love to be in my shoes, but not me.

Anyway, I am feeling rib pain, liver pain, headache, lower ab pain and even cheek bone pain (why?!)...too huge to move, getting out of the bed to pee every hour or so is very hard now. On the top of everything, DD started to change her sleeping habit after 3 day fever during our visit to NJ and we let her slept with us in the same bad at that time. Now, she is still getting over the cold having stuffy nose which blocks her airway during sleeping. She would wake up in the middle of the night and stand up in front of the gate waiting for us to put her back to her bed. Then after few rounds of these, it's morning already, I never had enough sleep these days!

Winter is here now and I cannot go ski. I hate being pg for this long. Since I scare more of taking care premies, I guess I just have to hang in there and focus on the end result. 8 more week to go...

I am sorry, I don't mean to put everyone's mood down.

Rhonda,

Hope you check in sometime.

Tracy,

Good luck on trying on your own next month! You are not alone, I like winter, snow and ski too. Too bad that I am pg again, I missed two winters due to pgs already! I live in south and always have to travel to various ski resorts with my boots and skis. The one that I like the most is Grand Targhee Resort in the US. Of course, I prefer Alps and Wistler, if I could be closer to them...

Tammy,

Good luck on your lining check!

Take care everyone.

Yasmina

garfieldtracy · Post by **garfieldtracy** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:00 pm

Yeah - to all the winter lovers - Wistler/Blackcomb is probably the best place I have ever skied. I have been to most of the big CO. resorts, have skied a lot in the NE (Maine and VT are beautiful places) and have even been to Norway and Austria. I used to go skiing every year between Christmas and New Year's - stopped that once I got married and started do other things with DH.

Hoping to get AF soon - so DH and I can try "naturally" this first month. Time seems to be moving soooooo slow.

Take care everyone,
Tracy

teachertam · Post by **teachertam** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:49 pm

Ladies: I had the ultrasound this morning. The tech said my lining looked great. It measured 10.5. We are set for the thaw/ferilization tomorrow and the ET on Friday. As a matter of fact, she said that my lining looked better that that of the 28 year old she saw earlier this morning.

Tracy: Good luck.

Yasmina: I hope you are doing ok.

Catharine: I hope you and DD are getting more sleep.

Regards,
Tammy

children · Post by **children** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 11:02 pm

Tammy,

Sounds so promising. You should be very fertile at the moment since you had a live birth not long ago! When I started my last cycle, my RE and Nurses were also very hopeful and now I am at 32 weeks! I wish you will soon be pg again!

Thanks for asking, my sinus infection gets me and I only feel like a person today. I felt like dying of headache and body ache last Friday and Saturday. Took some Tylenol PM which made the baby sleep longer than myself. He has not moved for almost two days and it was at the weekend, I could not do anything but worrying! Fortunately, I figured it out and stopped taking PM. Once I switched to regular Tylenol, the fetal movement resumed.

Hi Tracy,

I am the other way around, I only started to ski after dating my DH and then we went every winter. He was amazed how fast I could learn as he started to ski when he was little. Anyway, I love Alps and I can ski there except sometimes I need 30 min to find my ski back, the snow was so deep! Never ski in NE of US before, but been to almost every main ski resort in Rocky Mountains. We do it 3~4x/winter when I was not pg. Will resume it next yr on and never have another pg again!

Catharine,

How are you doing w your precious? Any more pix?

have a nice week, everyone here!

Yasmina

teachertam · Post by **teachertam** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:45 am

Yasmina:

Sorry to hear about your sinus infection. DH, Andrew and I have all been sick. I am running a low grade fever at night and have congestion, a sore throat and a headache. I almost thought I would have to cancel my RE appt. today, as it is a 1.5 hour drive one way and I felt very nauseated this morning. I went back to bed and felt better after getting up. My father drove me to my appt., as my mother had to watch Andrew.

Take care all,
Tammy

The Over 40 Crowd

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