Pregnancy Reduction

tryinginsac · Post by **tryinginsac** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 12:43 am

What are your thoughts on pregnancy reduction? We found out that there are three lil' beans in there, and immediately my doctor was talking about triplets being a high risk pregnancy and how she suggests a pregnancy reduction.. I don't really know how to feel about it. My husband's all worried about all the risks she put out there, but really I don't want to think too much about it until we hear the heartbeats (hopefully on wednesday) Baby A & B measured really good, but baby C was a little smaller, so there is a chance that my littlest bean might not make it, another thing I don't want to think about. Sorry about the long rant, just want to know if anyone else is going through this or has already...

Thanks

Cocoa · Post by **Cocoa** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:15 am

Hi there... first...CONGRATS!!!

To answer your VERY SERIOUS question...Since you asked what we out here think I will be very honest with you about what I think and know to be the truth - I think that GOD is the only author and creator of life and if with the doctor's help you were able to get pregnant with three wonderful little beanies then all three have the right to life. You chose the treatment and you were very very blessed. God, along with the doctor you use to whom God gave expertise, will take care of you and with careful monitoring and taking care of yourself you should be fine. Yet as you said, the decision may be out of your hands if baby C is not as strong. Once again I believe that if that does happen it is God taking an angel for you to watch over you and to secure your health a little more in carrying multiples. I carried B/G twins and had a very difficult last 3 1/2 weeks (starting at 32 1/2 wks) and both babies needed A LOT of lung help at 36w2d gestation but I knew they would be OK because I always knew in my heart that God would bless me with this gift - I would never have questioned it. One last thought - if you have 3 heartbeats and choose to eliminate one what will your heart be feeling and your mind be thinking each time you hold one of your babies when they are born knowing one is missing?

I hope that my response provides some comfort in knowing that though some gifts may be difficult to carry for a time - it is still a gift nonetheless.

My love and blessings to you,

Cocoa

Annie973 · Post by **Annie973** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:28 am

Congratulations! I completely agree with Cocoa...you are so lucky to have three precious miracles. I would just trust in God. He never gives us more than we can handle.

Kabillion · Post by **Kabillion** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:35 am

I am not a religious person at all! But that being said, I say go for three. You were blessed with them for a reason. Stay off your feet and see what happens. Birth is a miracle and so are your 3 little beans. Good luck!

wishing4baby · Post by **wishing4baby** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:14 am

First of all congratulations!!! You are 3 times blessed. I have to agree with everyone so far. Those 3 little babies were given to you for a reason. Think of how hard you have been trying for even 1. With careful monitoring, I am sure things will work out as they should.

We just had triplets born from IVF in our extended family. It was a tough month or so, but everyone is now home and doing great.

Good luck to you and I hope the rest of us are as lucky as you in the future.

tryinginsac · Post by **tryinginsac** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:55 am

Thank you guys for your support!!! We always said we would accept whatever we got and be happy, especially after 2 IVF's, 1 FET, along with a horrible case of OHSS that landed me in the ER. I feel we deserve and can handle whatever god is willing to give.
My doctor just kept throwing negative, and more negative things out there making husband worry, putting doubt in my mind. But glad you ladies brought me back!!!

kholtan · Post by **kholtan** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:37 am

You can do it!!!!! As a mother of b/g twins myself, the one thing that really bothered me when I was pg was everyone being so negative. They were talking to me as if I would never sleep again, I would be poor from diapers alone and letting me know they were glad they weren't me. I know it was never meant to hurt my feelings but when they arrived it was soooooo much easier than I had ever thought it would be and life was exactly as it should be.

Also, three is a great number! I have 3 different friends with triplets and they all delivered healthy babies with little NICU time and they are all amazing families now that just made it work somehow.

What will be will be and it's a blessing for you no matter what. Good luck and take great care of yourself. You have been chosen to be a mommy to 3!!!! How lucky are you!!!!!!!

Much Hope · Post by **Much Hope** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:06 am

I to just found out I am pregnant with triplets... Baby C is also measuring 1 day smaller with a smaller sac and lower heartrate. However I truly feel blessed to have heard all their heartbeats and no that God will decide if I am healthy enough to carry them all. We put 3 back knowing all well that there is a chance for all of them to take and now if Our Bbay C makes it well then we know she was meant to be..

Have faith in knowing that God never gives us more then we can handle. We both have been blessed with 3 little angels who might in the beginning have a rough time, health wise, but in the long run you and DH will have a triple gift.

God bless you, DH and your 3 lil beans

Elida

kholtan · Post by **kholtan** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:28 pm

Much Hope~ It would have been hard to say it any better!!! Congratulations to both of you and I hope all those little beanies make it happy and healthy!!!!

Hugs to you both!
Kimberly

esperanza · Post by **esperanza** » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:46 pm

yay, triplets! Best wishes to both of you carrying triplets...blessings, blessings, blessings.

You should both check out the double/triple trouble thread on the "pregnancy after treatment" section.

Our Dr. really convinced us to only transfer 1 during our first IVF because they were certain we would conceive and multiple pregnancies "oh, well, they are too risky"...they scared the heck out of us and we went for just one embie. Well, wouldn't you know? it didn't take. Next time we put our foot down and demanded to transfer at least 2. It ended up working on our third attempt with a singleton (this precious one I'm carrying right now), but DH and I were willing and getting ready for multiples, no matter what.

Happy pregnancies!

alreadyblessed · Post by **alreadyblessed** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 3:17 pm

The one thing that I have learned throughout this journey is that you can get 10 different answers if you ask 10 different doctors the same question. I happen to have a high risk OB, and he is wonderful. He gladly welcomes multiples 2,3,4, and 5. I don't think it is a doctors place to push a woman towards selective reduction. I understand that they have to tell you the risks with carrying multiples, but there are risks with everything. My God, if the doctors read us the side effects to half the medications we take most of us would be petrified to take them. I am in agreement with the other ladies on the thread. I was pregnant with twins, and lost one at 7 weeks. I am thankful that God has blessed me and that I am still pregnant with one healthy little boy. There are so many triplet cases in this world today, that I pray you carry all to term and add your name to the list of those wonderfully blessed women. With todays medicine and advanced care, there are many many women carrying 3+ babies who are born healthy.
I also have to agree with Cocoa.. If you selectively reduce, I believe your heart would always ache for that one baby and you would forever wonder if he/she would have been there to call you mommy if they had been given the chance.
God bless you and your DH and I will pray for your three miracles and look forward to seeing you on the post board after you have delivered all 3. Stay healthy, and much luck!

zoegirl · Post by **zoegirl** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 7:34 pm

I'm actually a very pro choice person when it comes to politics and other folks but for myself, I would find it very hard, probably impossible, to go thru reduction. It is such a personal question. We had to wrestle with that because I was such a good responder to clomid. Unfortunately clomid/IUI did not work for us but thankfully IVF did and we only had two embryos anyway.
Good luck! I wish you the healthiest of pregnancies and wonderful little babies!

baylorbear33 · Post by **baylorbear33** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:15 am

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy. I realize that what I am about to say will most likely elicit several negative responses, but I wanted to give you the other side of carrying triplets. I too was carrying triplets... We lost the heartbeat of one of our triplets at 8 weeks. We were happily carrying our identical twin girls until I went into extremely early pre-term labor at only 19 weeks and lost our twins. All of the doctors I had seen thought the baby that we lost at 8 weeks would miscarry on its own or be absorbed, but this did not happen. Instead it continued to grow and take nutrients from the other two. The triplet pregnancy caused me to gain a large amount of water weight very rapidly and caused my uterus to expand to the size it would have been had I carried one baby to term. I am a very tall person (6'1"), so I had plenty of room to carry the babies, but the triplet pregnancy put a great strain on my body and ultimately caused me to lose all of the babies. With all of this being said, I realize that pregnancy reduction is an extremely stressful decision to have to make; however, if I would have had the chance to increase the odds that one of my babies would have made it to full-term, I believe I would have done so. Knowing what I know now, and knowing how much pain losing all of our babies has caused me, my husband, and family, this is simply the decision that would have been best for us.

Please let me close by saying that I wish you the very best in your pregnancy with whatever decisions you make along the way.

Warren Dew · Post by **Warren Dew** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 4:35 am

Baylor, thanks for the counterpoint - I think it's good to get both sides of the story. I think a decision to do selective reduction would be very difficult, but it is also true that multiples - especially high order multiples (more than twins) - are at higher risk of complications, birth defects, and miscarriage. I know that part of our decision to transfer 3 embryos when they were available was because we'd decided we were open to selective reduction - though we never actually had to make that decision.

We did have a vanishing twin early on, and we occasionally wonder if we could have done something to keep it. It's not really a regret, though; we're generally just grateful to have had what was ultimately a successful singleton pregnancy. With any live birth, I think it's natural to focus on the children that did make it, more than on any that might have been lost.

With regard to the original post, I think it's the doctor's responsibility to lay out the risks and benefits of taking the decision either way, and perhaps to make a recommendation. Ultimately, though, it is the patient's decision as to which way to go.

toobee · Post by **toobee** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:31 pm

I also started out with triplets and was faced with SR. Until your really faced with the situation, you can NEVER know what you would do. I respect everyones opinion, but I also know that opinions change when you yourself are in any situation. I have thought I could do SR if it came to that, but when faced with it, I was just like you and on the fence. I had allot of reasons for my thoughts on SR, and for me it was both my health, and the possible risk of losing them all. I lost my 3rd baby after 9 weeks, his heart just stopped and I started bleeding , it was very very scarey. I am now pregnant with two healthy twins and things are going well so far but it has not been an uneventful pregnancy. Even twins carry risks....so keep that in mind. I dont tell you this to scare you and I dont blame your RE for telling you and informaing you about the risks...and yes there are allot of triplet success stories.............but thats just not the point.......the point is are you ready? are you capable on so many levels? are you willing and can you handle??? do you have a strong support system??? How is your current health, did you start with any major or minor health issues? Hows are they al posistioned??? Do you want three babies?? etc... etc...

Whatever decision you choose is your decsion and you have the right to do whats best for you and what you think is best for your situation and no one should make you feel right or oring about that. We ar eall messing with nature when we do IVF, and soemtimes that can throw us unlikely curve balls, some woud call those belssings and others will call them oopsies. Whats most important is that you feel comfortable with your decision and not let others sway you one way or the other especially by guilt associations. You should decide by what your gut tells you and weigh the risks, pros and cons.

I really wish you the best- whatever you choose.

Pregnancy Reduction

Pregnancy Reduction

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