OCT / NOV / DEC 2008 Buddies

to_have_fun08 · Post by **to_have_fun08** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:45 pm

My appointment yesterday went well. The new RE is more open to new ways of doing things. He suggested I do Mini IVF or Japanese IVF. He is the only RE in my area that I know is doing this. It is IVF that goes along your natural cycle. They use clomid, a little follistim and sometimes ganirelix in the cycle. It only produces maybe 2 to 4 eggs, but they are supposed to be the best quality eggs. After ER they freeze the eggs and they use the vitrification process or something like that which is supposed to be better then cryo. Then 1 month later will do a natural FET. This sounds good because my body seems like it is going to do whatever it wants no matter what drugs I give it and I also like the fact the mini ivf is more natural. Though now I am more stressed then ever.

Reasons being -

1. I only have 3 IVF cycles covered under insurance, what happens if I only have 1 or 2 eggs at ER and neither fertilize or they don't make it through the freezing process. This would be 1 cycle down the drain.

2. This RE is not part of an Insurance group. The RE's portion of the bill $5500. I will have to pay this portion upfront and then have my insurance pay me back. This would not be so much of a problem but, I am switching insurances starting Jan 1. I haven't received the new insurance cards so right now I can not make any inquiry to my insurance to see how I could go about getting reimbursed. As far as I know right now they might not reimburse me. I just don't want to take that chance. Plus, when AF comes they will give me a date for ER. At that time I will have to give them a $500 non refundable deposit. So I will have to pay the $500 and possibly find out that I am not covered and then I lose the $500. I don't have $500 to gamble with, i am in debt enough.

3. with the mini-ivf there are more monitoring appointment. I will have to go in just about every day for at least 1 or 2 weeks before ER. The new RE is a lot farther from my work and the main highway that I will take is closed for construction so it will be a PITA to get from my appointments to and from work. It would take about probably 90 minutes to get there and that is if St. Louis traffic is good.

So this is what I am thinking right now. Tell me what you think?

I am calling my old RE's office but seeing if I can switch RE's. There is one RE's that did my ER and ET, plus one of my IUI's and I like him. I have spoken to several of his patients and they all like him and he actually tries to make some contact with his patients. For my RE I have only personally spoken to her twice. Once for the initial consult and then she did my trial embryo transfer. DH has never liked my current RE.
I will see what he recommends and go from there.
The main reason I would go back to the current office is just because I hate stress. The current office is with my insurance and they deal with all that crap. It is close to my house and my work so I won't have to deal so much with St. Louis traffic.
I am just really confused right now. Don't know what I really want to do.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Chris

noo noo · Post by **noo noo** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:49 pm

Hello girls, thank you all so much for making me feel welcome

And CONGRATULATIONS kke xx I hope I'M as lucky as you

So sorry robin611, my heart goes out to you

bell-02 · Post by **bell-02** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:54 pm

I've been lurking about because I want to know how everything turns out for all of you.

Pixelgirl, I'm so, so, sorry about your BFN. I was really pulling for you. I know how devestating a BFN can be so take care of yourself.

Robin, I teared up too after reading your post. I can't imagine what you're going through. I hope you continue to use these forums for support, even if you don't stay on this thread, I think there is a thread somewhere on here for people who've had similar experiences. You take care of yourself too.

jandc33 · Post by **jandc33** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:12 pm

Hello everyone,

Well Robin I can definitley relate to you as well, as I found out yesterday that my hcg is dropping after I had a substantial amount of red blood Wed evening. So it looks like I am in the process of miscarrying, I go back Monday morning to check the status of the HCG level but the Dr. said it is highly unlikely that it will turn around.

My heart is broken, I don't believe I have ever cried as much as I did yesterday. It was probably a combination of the hormones and just the huge overwhelming sense of loss. I just can't begin to understand things, especially this time of year where the holidays are usually a joyous time. Looking back over the last couple of months and all that has gone into this, the hopes, the dreams, everything. I feel so blessed to have my lil embies inside me and growing for the short period of time that they did. I guess whats even more difficult about the whole thing is that its not like we can just say 'okay we'll try again next month' because as all of us know, IVF is so much more complicated than that. We need to save up money for the next time and I think I am really going to be focusing on getting my body (mentally & physically) ready, as all of this truly takes its toll.

I am so happy for all of you that got your BFP's this time around, hold on to each and every moment and treasure it. I wish you all a safe and healthy pregnancy.

And for those with a BFN or who lost their lil ones, I pray that we get the strength we need to continue on and make our dreams come true.

Happy Holidays to everyone and thank you all for the support and strength you've given me through this process.

xcited2Bpreggers · Post by **xcited2Bpreggers** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:35 pm

Hello girls, I know I haven't been posting in awhile after my BFN but I have been keeping up with all of you.

My heart absolutely goes out to all of you who have recently had a BFN, I know how utterly painful it is. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

For Robin and jand33, all my love goes out to you during this very difficult time. Like tohavefun says, it is worse than a BFN. My you find strength in your faith, your DH's, your family and your friends. We will all be here for you.

As for me, I have some interesting news. Apparently my endometriosis is probably the culprit for my embies not to have implanted so now I am going on shots of Depo-Lupron to basically burn away the lining of my uterus and any fibrous tissue that may be there with it. As my RE tells me, I virtually depletes my estrogen and progesterone therefore I will literally be going through menopause for the next 3 months. After that it will take another couple months to get it out of my system. When that happens, DH and I decided to try IVF again. It is nerve racking and trying but we will get through it.

The only disappointing part is that no matter what, because I will have no hormones, even if DH and I kept trying naturally during that time, there is no way we will get pregnant

My thoughts are with all of you. For those of you who have had BFN's, I am with you, and for those of you who have had BFP's may you have easy healthy pregnancies and beautiful glorious babies !!!

Michelle

JDC · Post by **JDC** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:44 pm

robin and jandc - I'm so sorry to hear you terrible news. That is the worst feeling in the world. My heart really goes out to you both right now. I had this happen to me last time I got a BFP, so I understand the devastation. We are here if you need us.

Jill

Kas101 · Post by **Kas101** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:27 pm

jandc33 SO sorry to hear about your news. I know you must be devastated

Please know you are here amongst friends and we are here for you

To Have Fun Well I'm glad the new RE gave you some different options. It sounds really interesting and we all know that getting a few good eggs is much better than several that dont stay the distance..... I like the idea, but i also understand when you talk about
1. The daily distance to travel - not only would that be time consuming and exhausting, but would probably cost $$$
2. You will have to pay up front and out of pocket

ALso if there is another RE at your old clinic where you are already established and have coverage with no hassle, it might be worth a try as each individual RE will take a new look at your case with 'fresh eyes' d perhaps a new suggestion or 2...

Its a tough call, but if you want my opinion after weighing up the options, i would try again at the same office with the new RE... The Japnese IVF in STL can be shelved for now. It would be a good option if insurance was not a factor, but for now i would make an appointment with that other RE and see what they have to say.....

Good luck and let us know what you and DH are thinking of doing XXX

Foreverlove I think i am driving myself crazy already as i keep looking for non existent signs.... Last cycle i had no symptoms, no cramping no spotting so i am desparate for SOME sign ANY sign of implantation, but again nothing so far

How about you????

to_have_fun08 · Post by **to_have_fun08** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 3:55 am

You know what is really bad? When you are doing research on something on the internet and you come across your own post. I was just researching mini IVF and I clicked on this link that sent me right to my own post. How funny.

chris

Marynaz · Post by **Marynaz** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:11 am

Hello All,
Hope all goes well. I had my first U/S today and saw the heart beats.It ia amazing.

hope all of you can experince this. also we found out that we have twin, which is really blessing.

wishing_4_blessings · Post by **wishing_4_blessings** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:49 am

robin & jandc I am so very to hear about your loss. I am definitely praying for the both or you and your families. We are here to support you always and although I have been around for a short while, I have definitely enjoyed you on this thread.

Marynaz congrats on the twins, I know it was great seeing their hrtbts. Wishing you the best.

foreverlove Hang in there, I know the 2ww is torture but it will be over soon. I know you can't wait to get that BFP.

Just wanted to drop in and post a few personals. I know there are alot of people that I left out but I hope that everyone is doing well. Take care.

karenvancouverisland · Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:49 am

hi robin and jan...

i'm so sorry for your losses..my heart breaks for you right now. i miscarried in june and it was the most emotionally heartbreaking thing i ever went through. there were moments when i turned into a zombie- just numbed out..and there were moments when i understood why some people hurt themselves; even though i wasn't going to act on this, - i got why people do that , because they are in such incredible pain. the only 'advice' i have is to not expect yourself to get through this quickly..it comes and goes- both the grief and the hope. and given that your character is strong enough to even do ivf- it is strong enough to persevere through this loss.

mary, i'm glad you saw the hearbeat. i imagine it was a tummy u/s, which is much more pleasant..my u/s's since 6 weeks have been tummy ones..providing your bladder is full - it works. i saw our h/b today too- 165 bpm. it was such a relief.

i'll save more personals for tomorrow. very tired after a long day at work and then our lovely xmas staff party. love to all, karen

karenvancouverisland · Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:51 am

chris- i've had the same thing happen to me with researching the net- get my own post.. i thought 'how pathetic am i? - maybe my dh is right- i am obsessed...now i'm googling myself' ha ha

JDC · Post by **JDC** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 10:22 am

Chris The same thing happened to me too! I felt like I was kind of ridiculous too. I was trying to see what are the chances of not having a heartbeat again, and I found one of my old posts from last cycle when I didn't see the hb. I'm obsessed right now!! Hey, I do feel a little better this morning because guess what??????? My boobies hurt!!!!!!!!!

Much Hope · Post by **Much Hope** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:54 pm

robin & jandc:

I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart is broken for the both of you.

I know that your little ones are safe and sound in the arms of the Lord. KNow they are watching over you as little angles do...

((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))

Elida

lynniecat · Post by **lynniecat** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 9:43 pm

Robin -- So sorry to hear about your ultrasound. You need to take it easy and treat yourself well and have your family with you. It looks like you have some frosties? I know so hard to think about the next step....

So sorry for your loss!

So I go in on Monday for another beta to see if the number is still rising. I am still bleeding with the weird stringy stuff. I just wish that would STOP. Anyway, I am hoping this turns into my holiday miracle, but trying to keep my emotions in check.

OCT / NOV / DEC 2008 Buddies

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