BFN on Christmas Eve, should I keep going

[mikeandjess]

I just had my 2nd IVF attempt finding out BFN on Christmas Eve. When I started this whole process my RE told me I had a 60% chance of success. Now after 2 failed IVF's and 1 failed FET he's telling me my chances are now 25%!!! I have 5 (5d) frozen embryos left. This is my last chance at a family. Should I keep going? Has anyone had success with such a low percentage before?

[lynniecat]

My percentage was 10 and I have pregnant right now. So yes, its possible.


As for you frosties, can you get them to a lab that can test them like CCRM in Denver or SIRM in many places and have them tested? I am curious to find out if they have genetic problems or not It may be that only some of them are genetically normal. Now why do that instead of putting all three back in a FET without testing?

Well if they are genetically normal and they do not take, then you know its not the embryos, but maybe something else like an immune issue. Has your RE talked to you about that??? I know so little about your situation....



These are just my quick thoughts an what I would do having read a lot about this.

I definitely do not think you should quick before you try your 3 frosties!

[gina1234]

mikeandjess- let me just tell u first u are still very young i did 3 iui with donor sperm, 3 iui with dh sperm & 3 ivf before i finally got my positive & now i am 9 wk 4days & let me tell u there was a point were i almost gave up too & at the last minute i decide to try one more time & this time around i lived life not thinking about the meds or what i was doing i would eat, drink (but not alot) & i even started to cut down at smoking at that time (now i am not smoking at all since i found out i was pregnant i quit as soon as the doctor said i was pregnant which was easy for me) anyways i was told by my old doctor that i would never get pregnant with my dh & know i am pregnant & it is with his sperm & not donor sperm...so all in all what i am saying is if u need a break take a break, but don't lose all hope & faith....i think if u stay on this site u will find alot of support & it will help u & your dh get through this it sure helped me...so good luck to the both of u...big hugs to u & alot of baby dust...if u ever have any question send me a private message i would love to try and help u...

[mikeandjess]

Lynniecat - Thanks for your reply. It's promising to know that you were given a low percentage too and you still conceived. Congrats!! I'm just learning about the testing that they can do. I am going to research a lot more and call my RE with all my questions. He hasn't said anything to me about any testing. And I also posted my question wrong, I have 5 frosties, not 3. But thank you for giving me hope.

gina1234- thank you also. I just found this website tonight and I already have more hope than I did. I was feeling pretty down until I started reading other peoples success stories. I might just take you up on that offer of the PM soon. Congrats!!!

[lynniecat]

What clinic are you with? I have read you should considering switching if you get more than a couple of BFNs.

I do not like that he said 60 percent, then 25 percent and has not done any testing to see what the problem is. Those embryos may be fine!

One of the ladies here has 3 put back and got a bfn, her RE figure out she had an autoimmune issue and was put on some meds for the next round and is now pregnant, most likely with 2 or 3 babies by her beta numbers.

I would be careful with your 5 frosties till you know what is going on...whether its the embryos or something else!

[mikeandjess]

lynniecat -My RE told me that my embryos were of perfect quality. He said they were BEAUTIFUL. That's why he said it had to be a problem with me. But didn't say anything about finding out why. I asked about a Surrogate (not knowing what all that involved) just trying to see if that would give me a better chance and he said the surrogate would be a better chance but, at my stage most people would choose to just keep going themselves.

I am being very careful now to not jump into anything after reading this forum. This is the first time I have been on a forum. I don't want to use up my frosties. This is my last chance. I have a lot of questions for my RE now after reading about immune issues and assisted hatching and checking the embryos for problems. Before I even call him I am going to be researching for a while longer. I want to find out as much as I can. Please keep posting if you come up with anything. I appreciate this so much.

[Hope2009]

I'm sorry you got the sad news on Christmas Eve. I just went thru the my first IVF and got a BFN on Dec 22nd. Hard to handle during the holidays. But we can't give up! The other embryos may implant just fine. Keep trying and try to stay positive. I'll be praying for you.

[angelaezra]

Hello mikeandjess,

I am sorry about your BFN. I think you can find the answer that you are looking for by anwering this question. Can or will you regret not finding out if your family was possible if you don't use all of the 5 embryos you have left? If you answer the question by saying no I want to know then you know what you have to do. Maybe, the answer is to find another RE with a different plan of action.

Keep us updated on your progress,

Angela

[mikeandjess]

Hope2009- I am so sorry to hear about your BFN news too. We were hoping for a Christmas miracle but got a Christmas disappointment instead. This IVF journey is such a long and disappointing journey. It's nice to see that there is hope out there. I'm going to do some reseach before transfering my frosties.

angelaezra- I'm sure I am going to use my frosties. I'm just not sure whether I should look into maybe a surrogate(which is completely unaffordable) or other options. I hate to just keep using them up since they are supposedly beautiful quality. There is no reason they shouldn't have worked for me. I might look into another RE or see if mine will do some testing on me. I am just kind of surprised that I have had to do all of the researching myself. I thought my RE would have wanted to do something different after it hadn't worked. But all of these ideas that people are giving me, he never gave me as an option.

[SilverAngel679]

I agree that it would be a shame to give uo before going back for your frosties. They're there waiting for you and a FET is so much easier than a fresh cycle and much cheaper if your paying out of pocket.
Besides that from what my RE told me a woman trying to get pregnant on her own has a 25% chance of concieving so your chances are no different than that of a normal couple. That's encouraging if you ask me.
But besides that the fact that your still so young and have so much time to keep trying is a bright side in itself.
I do hope that you continue to try to be a mommy. Your hope seems far from over. I'm sorry about your bad news on the holiday's and heres to hoping that 2009 will be better for you.

[lynniecat]

Do you have a friend who can carry for you? You would be surprised. I was thinking about surrogates since I have lupus and I had 2 people offer to carry for me out of the blue. A good friend and my brother's wife. They both were very serious!

[Warren Dew]

You say you were TTC 7 years, presumably a lot of that was before you had your tubes removed. What was the cause of infertility?

Also, are the embryos stored together or separately? With "perfect" day 5 embryos, they'd normally only transfer one or two, so five of them might be enough for multiple transfers.

[mally]

Hello mikeanjess,

I was also hoping to have a christmas gift this second trial, after the first one failed, and unforutnately I had a BFN.

The issue however is, that we just don't seem to give up, so don't give up, especially when you still have frozen embryos.

Just go ahead and do all the research you have been advised on, and prepare yourself for another trial, when your body has recovered.

It is worth the fight, afterall, there are similar stories on this forum, like yours, that have come out with successful results. Good Luck

[mikeandjess]

Silverangel979- Thank you for reply. I know I'm not ready to give up, it just seems so hard to believe that this is going to work for me. But I thank you for your support.

Lynniecat-I had two people offer to carry for me too. I asked the one last weekend and she said when she told me that she'd do it, she was thinking with her heart and not her head. So, it turns out that when it actually comes down to it - people don't go through with it. As for the other person, it's my sister-in-law. She is pregnant now, due at the end of January. She wants to take a break for about a year before she tries for us but she seems like she would definitely do it for us. And she is on Medical Assistance (insurance) so I don't know how that works, if they would even pay her medical bills. That's all a long ways away if that's what we decide. Even with using someone you know as a surrogate it stills seems very costly. There are a lot of unknown bills that come up as you go along.

Warren Dew- I had 3 dermoid cysts on my ovaries removed when I was 15, 16 and 17 years old. They did major surgery because I guess if those type of cysts rupture when they are taking them out that they can cause major infection. So, I ended up with blocked tubes. The doctor that did my surgeries told me that when I was ready he would fix my tubes. So, when I was 21, I had another abdominal surgery to open my tubes. If I would have researched it more I would have went to a surgeon who does this kind of surgery all the time. But it didn't work. So, when I finally ended up at my RE's office now, he said I would have a better chance of IVF working if I had my tubes removed, so that's what I did.

As far as my embryos go, they never asked me how I wanted them stored (because if it was my choice I would have had them stored all separately). But, the stored them 2, 2, and 1. So I really only have 3 chances left. And that's if they all unthaw. I've been reading some peoples stories where they think they have all these frosties and then none of them unthaw.

Mally- I am so sorry to hear about your BFN too. We just got to keep going and hoping and praying that this will work for us and we will have a family someday. Hopefully soon!!!

[skyway33]

Absolutely keep going. You have 5 chances left. Every month, a "regular" person has one egg that drops. You have 5! I had my son on our 4th IVF attempt-over a span of 12 years. Hang in there and keep the hope, it's the only thing that can't disappoint you!