BFN on Christmas Eve, should I keep going

espinozal23 · Post by **espinozal23** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 2:35 am

I feel that if this is something that you truly want then you should keep going because your miracle is out there

ann d. · Post by **ann d.** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 2:06 pm

I'm sorry to hear about your BFN on Christmas Eve. I hope you're feeling less of the pain now and had a wonderful New Year. Last November I did my first IVF and I received the news 2 days before Thanksgiving. It was tough. I celebrated with my parents, sister, and MIL and they all knew what we were going through. I put on a brave face (even though I didn't have to) and tried enjoying the day. It was nice to be around the people I love.

It definitely sounds to me that you're not ready to throw in the towel, but like your RE said, he would recommend that you keep doing what your doing. I agree with that. Also, have you tried acupuncture before? My insurance only covers 20 visits but I hear the chances increase with acupuncture visits. This is our second fresh round and although I haven't gotten my beta yet, I made sure I tried everything I could before going into this 2nd cycle. For what it's worth, I think you should give your mind and body time to heal, recuperate, seek an acupuncturist that specializes in infertility, and go for those frosties b/c one of them could be your baby!

mikeandjess · Post by **mikeandjess** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 3:35 pm

skyway33 - Thank you. I am trying to hang in there. This is so heartbreaking for me. I never imagined not having children. These message boards have been helping a lot to keep going and have hope. Because it seems that miracles do happen.
Did you have your son with fresh or frozen transfer?

espinozal23 - I am hoping and praying for a miracle everyday. And thank you for your post.

ann d. - I have been doing a little better. Everyday is still hard. I know how you feel about the brave face, my sister-in-law has had 2 pregnancies in the time that I have been trying. We had to spend Christmas with her and I had to sit there and watch her with her son and her pregnant belly. I feel awful that I am so jealous, I don't act that way to her, I act happy for her. It's just so hard to find that "brave face" sometimes.

I never thought of accupuncture. Thank you for the idea. I will definately look into that. Have you actually tried that? I am going to give myself some time before I try again. Even though this is something I want RIGHT NOW, I think I have to be careful and smart about how I use my last embryos. So, I need to take my time and make sure I have done everything I could before I proceed. Thank you so much for the support and idea!!!

kerpupples · Post by **kerpupples** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 4:21 pm

I got my very first BFN on Christmas Eve last year. It's taken some time for me but I'm currently nearly 20 weeks. It can happen for you too! I found the FET cycles to be much less stressful. Good luck!

skyway33 · Post by **skyway33** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:23 am

I totally understand the heartbreak. Your right, it is a miracle..that's the only way to look at it. I was 25 when we started having procedures and 36 when I first conceived. I always had to have fresh cycles, we never had any eggs to store. I've read that the results are the same either way, so don't stress yourself about that. Our RE told us the same funky junk about how our chances were less. Then I read something that said that the percentage increases with each procedure, which if you look at it like statistics, makes sense. For me, it was all about hope.

For what it's worth, I totally understand what your going through...all of us do.

mikeandjess · Post by **mikeandjess** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:15 pm

skyway33 - It really helps to have support and thoughts from other people. When I first found this forum, I thought there was really no hope and we would just use up all of our frosties and be left with no baby. Now after reading other peoples success stories I have a different feeling about the embryos I have left. I have quite a few questions for my RE. I plan on calling him next week. I really do have new hope after everyones help.

kerpupples - Congrats!! I am just happy to hear that there can be success after failure. I'm guessing that your BFP happened with a FET?

kerpupples · Post by **kerpupples** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 4:25 pm

Yes. We had 9 embryos left after our second fresh cycle. My first FET was a BFN (I really don't think my lining was in good shape that cycle) but we got a BFP using our last 3 good frozen embryos. It'll happen for you too hon, I'm sure of it!

mikeandjess · Post by **mikeandjess** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 6:36 pm

kerpupples - The thing I am the most worried about is that I haven't had a BFP yet. Even if it was a chemical or ended in m/c. I know that sounds awful but, I am wondering if my RE is thinking that I cannot get PG. So, I think that's why he is giving me such a low chance of my FET's working.

In my first FET when I got my beta HCG it was 7. My RE's office told me that that means it didn't work. And then they tested me a week later and it was less than 1. Does a beta of 7 mean that I had a chemical pregnancy? The office told me no. But I am starting to wonder.

lynniecat · Post by **lynniecat** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 9:29 pm

I have read anything over 5...

I totally know what you mean about even a chemical or miscarriage. At least that would mean you uterus would allow something to implant....I was thinking the same way as you, so do not feel bad.

Once you get the BFP, its a whole new drama waiting to see if the embryo will be genetically normal and make it to a baby! In a way that sounds bad, but its true! So many little genetic problems can arise and the DNA that is messed up may not be needed to say 8 weeks, so all seems fine till then and boom disaster. However, the further you get the more likely all is ok!

I think you need those remaining guys checked. Its 5000 bucks or so for CGH on up to like 10 embryos (guessing on numbers but I think I am close). If you get them checked and they are good or some are good, they you can go from there....

Know what I mean? Say you have 3 normal ones. Put back one of them. If it does not take, then you can start thinking its immune or something. Its a sure fire way to figure out part of the equation. If none of them are normal, then you also have your answer (though one you do not want to hear).

I have very few eggs (like 2- 5 embryos) each cycle, but my good rate seems 1/5 at least so far if this current one is normal. YOu make make 20 eggs and have 2 normal, so that is when you call in the big guns and get them checked to find the 2 and put those back.

mikeandjess · Post by **mikeandjess** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:18 am

lynniecat - So, you would agree too that since my beta was over 5, it would be considered a chemical pregnancy? The weird thing is, that after I had that transfer, I felt different. I thought for sure that it worked early on about day 5 after transfer. Then one day about 11 dpt, I stopped feeling different. I am assuming that the embryo started to take, and then stopped for some reason. But my RE's office just says that every woman has some HCG in her and it wasn't a chemical.

I would feel better if I knew that my uterus would allow the embryo to implant. I am wondering if it would be easier to test me for the immune problems, rather than test the embryos for problems. I am willing to do whatever it takes. If I have to travel somewhere to find out if it's me or the embryos, that's what I am doing. I have a new outlook on things after reading everyone's posts. I am assuming that CGH is a facility that does the testing on the embryos????? I haven't seen that abbreviation before. Can you tell me what that stands for?

And thank you so very much!!!!

mikeandjess · Post by **mikeandjess** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:27 am

A stupid question...

My RE's office never told me that there are foods, drinks, exercises, ect., that you should avoid during IVF. Are there things that I should be avoiding for the FET? I do drink and eat a lot of things with artificial sweeteners in them.

mikeandjess · Post by **mikeandjess** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 5:23 pm

I called my RE's office and asked him all my questions. He pretty much turned me down on everything I asked him. I asked about testing my embryos and he said they do that in their office but he doesn't suggest it because studies show that there is a decrease in pregnancies when the test the embryos. I asked about immune testing for me and he said that they used to do that on every patient and found it that it didn't make a difference whether the person was tested or not that it really doesn't help. So, bottom line - I guess were not going to change anything for my next cycle and probably end up like all the rest with a BFN. I am so discouraged after that phone call.

Cocoa · Post by **Cocoa** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 8:16 pm

Hi MikeandJess...

Have you tried antibiotic therapy? A lot of doctors won't do it but I went to Dr. Toth in NYC 2 years before my IVF cycle and got pregnant the FIRST try with BOTH embryos. I now have two beautiful 9 month old twins... This doctor is positive (based on research) that pathogens (bactieria) keep the embryos from implanting. After the treatment my lining responded like you wouldn't believe (14+ by transfer time) and as I said BOTH babies are here!

Look into this therapy before you schedule your FET to see if it is something you want to pursue. Dr. Toth's website is www.fertilitysolution.com. BTW - is the SWEETEST doctor I have EVER met! A great "bedside" manner!!!

Good luck and loads of baby dust...

xxxCocoa

2ndtimer · Post by **2ndtimer** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 4:23 pm

MikeandJess,
I was also one of those women who started out being told that I had a really high chance of success & then for whatever reason it kept not working. I tried IVF, then FET, switched clinics, another IVF, then FET, finally got prego on the 3rd IVF. I credit the new MD I went to who was very proactive with switching up the protocal when something didn't work and also, acupuncture. I would have a BAD feeling about an MD who just kept wanting to try the same thing over & over. Think long & hard about switching clinics and having your frosties moved with you. Do some research with the CDC website to find one close to you with a higher percentage success rate. You do not have to just accept the recommendations of your current MD and you also do not have to figure all this out in the next few months. When you decide which MD to go to, then find an acupuncturist who is experienced with infertility treatments and make sure you at least go right before the transfer. It helps to relax you better than the valium, and both together make you really, really relaxed.
Good Luck with things & hang in there. I would think it is just way too soon to be considered using a surrogate.
2ndtimer

2ndtimer · Post by **2ndtimer** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 4:28 pm

I also wanted to say having been there myself, the worst thing you can do is panic and start feeling like you have no options. You have plenty of options, you & your DH are so young and where there's a will there's a way. Just hang in there and don't rush into anything that doesn't feel right. You will get your miracle baby.
Take care,
2ndtimer

BFN on Christmas Eve, should I keep going

mikeandjess

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