Sharedjourney BFP girls !

[melmar]

Lyly-

I am so sorry that you have to go through all this worry. Here are some things to think about-the actual chance of miscarriage from ammnio only goes up 1% above having a spontaneous-and if it happens it is within the first week.

Also-my sister in law had the regular tests and it came back fine-within normal range, however, her first born has Down's. They didn't even realize it at first and only found out on the second day...can you imagine!

That is why, I decided to have the ammnio and am going back this Thursday to do Baby A. I think it is worse that even though the results came back good on Baby C, the defect he has is usually related to a chromosome problem-so he probably has some other chromosomal problem that the ammnio doesn't test for. That is why we have decided to reduce Baby C, but I do not want to do that until I know that Baby A is fine.

These are the rollercoaster rides we go through I guess to get to the end of the fabulous, exciting, yet VERY scary ride.

Best of luck with your decision,
Melissa

[lyly14]

Well girls I had my appt with the genetic counselor. They told me that a 1 in 37 chance means a 3% chance downs and 97% chance the baby was fine. I was never good at figuring out statistics and stuff. The genetic counselor also said its a 36 out of 37 chance the baby is normal. Of course the session did nothing for me. They seemed very against using an u/s to detect features before I make my decision and told me it is not an accurate screening. They said many times the baby does not have features and is still downs. It did not help me make my decision in any way and I ended up calling my ob with more questions when I got home.

I just got off the phone with my ob who told me I have a few options
1) do nothing
2) Have the amnio right away
3) Have the level II sono and think about doing an amnio
4) schedule the level II sono and amnio for the same day and cancel right then and there if there are no abnormalities or go through with it.

I know how dh feels about a child with downs and quite honestly in my line of work I know they are very difficult children to deal with. I just don't know how I feel. I want this baby so much it was just devestate me. I really think I am going to go with option 4 right now. Even though my level II is not until Feb 17. I think I will just have to wait it out for now.

Melissa- I am sorry too that you are going through such a difficult path. It is definitely not an easy decision you are faced with either. How long do you have to reduce to a single or twin pregnancy? Keep us posted.

[mo]

Hi ladies, Happy new year!!! I am still trying to navigate my way thru this site and catch up on all the news...I had to go back to shared journey to find you all again!!! gosh!

Lyle, how did you get your ticker to work? which format did you use on baby-gaga.com?

[JamieP]

Lyly what you really need are the stats for m/c from the doctor who will do the amino. I think you will find that some doctors are very very low.

Melissa I am sorry you have to go through all this. It doesn't seem fair. You sound like you are doing OK but I am sure it is stressful.

Jamie

[mo]

ok, got my ticker to work. But do i have to check the "attach signature' box each time i post??? how annoying, if that is the case!

Lyl, sounds like you've been going thru quite a bit of stress w. the downs detection tests.

I also have had a couple of scares--first, w. risk of spina bifida. I cried all the way home was in hysterics when hubby got home, then when i told him what nurse had told me (low risk, u/s was fine, etc etc) he was like "uh..I don't get the tears" I was being retarded. No need. But they really do scare you. Interestingly enough, that was the 1st time I felt baby kick...should have listened to him instead of googling spina bifida and scaring myself silly.

I also got higher glucose test and then had to do 3hr test which then was negative.

But you can't help but stress through it all. Go w. your gut. I've come to rely very heavily on this suddenly strong gut feeling and it had not failed me yet!

I think of you all fondly.

[lyly14]

Jamie- Rationally I know the risk is small but honestly the stats on the m/c rate mean absolutely nothing to me. The fact that there is that risk as small as it may be after all I have been through is more than I can bare at this point. The whole what if is just too much for me to handle. If I lost this one, that would be it for us. We have just about exhausted our insurance with the ivf and I just don't think I could go through any more emotionally. I just don't think I am ready to give up on my dream of having a baby. So it is more than just the "small risk" to me, it it everything!

Thanks for sharing Mo. I am glad everything is working out for you. Keep us posted.

[ianmichael3]

Lyly and Melissa~ you are BOTH constantly in my thoughts. It is never a care free road for us, is it? I think you are absolutely right in both of your decisions, they sound like you have thought of every possible option & I am sure I'd do the same..... I faithfully believe you'll both get good news on your little beans.... guess they aren't so little now, are they!

XOXO!

Oh, yeah- not pregnant this cycle- I checked this morning

[Arabsrcool]

lyly,

I have been following your posts, but have been at a loss as to what to say. I think of you everyday and hope that everything is going to be fine. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

Melissa,

You have had a hard path and I cannot imagine what emotions you must be feeling. Again, I know whatever decision you will make will be the right one.

Lisa,

I am so sorry to hear you were in the hospital. I hope you are feeling better and getting to squeeze your two cuties

Ronda

[Lili]

Lyly,
I am sorry to hear that you are going though this decision girl. it is terrible not knowing what to do and if you risk it and at the end there wasn't anything bad with the baby it is just insane. Remember that those test are not 100% accurate I know they worry you alot but sometimes it ends up being nothing that is what happen to me at the end of my pregnancy they told me that my baby had kidney cyst and I went for another u/s with a specialist and they found nothing. Thank god there wasn't anything after the baby was born I made sure he had another u/s which thank god they came back normal and his kidneys are perfectly fine thank god.
Have faith girl!

Melissa,
Wow you sure are in a hard situation I bet it is stressing trying to decide on what to do. So the doctor said it is very risky if you have all 3?
I hope you make the best decision which I know it will be hard. Good luck!

Ronda,
Do your back at work? How takes care of your lil girl? Aw doesn't that stink having to go back to work? I wish I could be with the kids at home. But I have to work...grrrrr

Have a great day

[mo]

Nicole-hugs to you

[Marina_A]

Hi guys,
honestly,I don't even know what to say,I feel horrible for Lyly-there is no words that can make you feel relived or safe until you find out the fact that it it all good.And I feel exactly the same about taking any chances and all the statistics.
We 've been through a lot of sh---y stuff together and finally got PG,why just give us a break and let us to enjoy a little our pregnancies?

Melissa,I'm confused a little-you are also almost 16 weeks,right?I think we have a couple of days difference,so I know, when they talked to me about reduction ,they said you can only do it up to 12 weeks. So even if they find out anything bad with one of the babies-can they still do the reduction?Isn't this dangerous that far in pregnancy?


Mo-glad you are ok and wow look at you-30 weeks!

AFM-I'm pretty stressed myself,can't wait until Monday to see if the babies ok.I don't even care if we 'll see the sexes at this point.It's this time (16 weeks) when I lost my baby last February-so I just can't help myself and worry secretly from my DH if they are alive.

[vw79girl]

Girls, thank you for your good thoughts and Meg and Lili, thanks for your comments on the boy's site. We have been having so much fun doing photo shoots.

THE BOYS are 5 months old today!!!
Benjamin had a dr. appt. and is just about 13 lbs. and Paul is most likely close to 14. They are eating like little pigs. The formula and diapers...my god. combined, it will be an extra 60 bucks a week. Time to do a new budget.

Lyl, been thinking of you and praying that everything is okay, and you too Marina, I think of you often.

Ronda, I am dreading going back to work in four weeks but my mom and dad will be with the boys 4 days a week and then hubby on Friday's. I am just down the street at school so I will most likely run home some days to see them. I feel like I will miss them so much but thankfully, 16 weeks later I will have another 8 weeks off with them to enjoy the summer.

Nicole, I am sorry you didn't get your BFP. thinking of you. How are you feeling.

for those of you dealing with screenings etc. I totally know how you feel. I worried from week 7 on in my pregnancy. The first sign that made us worry was the enlarged yolk sac for Paul which they said meant there was some kind of abnormality possibly.
My first screening for the down's came back 1:13 chance if I remember corretly. I was very nervous and cried my eyes out with worry. I nearly made myself sick. All we could do was wait for the second screening and then the nucal trans. test. My second screening came back like 1 in 10,000 I think and after that we just let things be and didn't worry too much about it. I too was aftraid to do an amnio. Paul did have some abnormalities such as the 2 vessels rather than 3 going to the umbilical cord and we are going to a genetics dr. in a couple of weeks to talk about that Beckwith Wiedeman syndrome crap that they think he has. I am thinking of you Lyl, I know this is all so hard to swallow, the uncertainty, and the fear. Keep the faith and know that we are all praying for you.

afm, I am on prednisone and trying to just feel better. I am getting there and seeing my GI in a week to switch up my meds and wean me off of the steroids. I have to take ambien at night because the Prednisone keeps me so jazzy and awake.

I hope the rest of you girls are good too. I am off to help hubby feed the babes.

lots of love,
Lisa

[melmar]

Lyly-
Glad they cleared up what the statistics meant- it helps to clear things up. I know that whatever you decide will be what is best for you and the baby. The one thing I have learned through all of this is if you cannot live with the decision-it was the wrong decision. Nobody can tell you what to do-they can give advice, but in the end you have to weigh both side of the issue and figure out what you are ok with in the end. Nobody else has to live with the outcome but you.

Marina-
They wanted to do the reduction ealier but with all the contradicting tests-we were really unsure. They told us they could do it up through week 20 (not that we wanted to wait that long). We really needed answers before we made that final decision. Baby C on the first u/s was found with what they thought was a gastrocisis-(intestines formed outside of the stomach cavity)-which is an operable defect after the baby is born, especially since it was so small. Then we went back for the CVS and found that it got even smaller, but that it wasn't a gastrocisis but an omphalacele-same type of defect as the gastrochisis, but usually related to a chromosomal issue. So we did the CVS on Babies B and C that day to find out -they couldn't get to Baby A. The results came out fine on both babies, so we were once again at a loss-it would have been so much easier to have a "bad" result on C-but of course life is never that smooth, is it? So at that point we decided to have the ammnio on Baby A just to have ALL information before making the final decision (we do have Down's in the family and even though it isn't genetic-we just wanted to make sure). They still couldn't get to Baby A when we went-so we went again last Thursday. We should have the results on Monday and I have scheduled the reduction for Thursday. The doctor did more genetic testing and it seems that Baby C does have some chromosomal thing-(I would try to write the syndrome-but honestly I can barely pronounce it).

So that is where we are right now. I feel like I have wrapped my brain around the situation...finally...and know I can live with the decision whatever the outcome. In the meantime I have been car shopping to fit twins and a toddler and it has occupied my time nicely. So I will just keep busy, cross my fingers, and hope for the best.

I have learned a great lesson-sometimes-ignorance is bliss...I didn't even know, think or worry about all this with my DS and it was a much more relaxed, enjoyable pregnancy. But you grow stronger from the obstacles that you face-and hopefully become a better person for it...

Okay-I have rambled enough-going to get my hair cut..just keeping busy girls...
Melissa

[Marina_A]

Melissa,ok,now it all coming together.I just still not sure about this reduction that late I've never heard of this before.But I'm sure you'll ask them all the questions. Please tell us the results on Monday,I'll be thinking of you!
Did insurance cover all the testing you've done?
What about reduction-do they cover that part?


Lisa,happy 5 months b-day to your little piglets! Time just flying by!

Nicole,sorry for BFN this month

[mo]

Okay Ladies,

Listen all this craziness is really just that, craziness. In the end, things work out okay. TRUST someone who is the queen of dramatic reactions. My baby is yet to be born and I worry each day...right now my obsession is that I feel as if he trembles when he moves...i am completely obsessed w. that. A month ago, I felt my boobs were lumpy and had an ultrasound on my breasts done to make sure everything was okay...it doesn't hurt to be cautious, and it's natural to worry but do not worry too, too much...if you can. Your babies can feel it and the stress affects their growth and development.


Thinking of you all, loving you all, praying for you all...