OCT / NOV / DEC 2008 Buddies

[to_have_fun08]

NY4thtry - I am keeping my fingers crossed for you today.



I had a scan today. Not the best in the world but I am not stressing. I have been on stims for 5 days, I have 4 measurable with the biggest being 14.5 mm and then 3 less then 10 mm. I kind of want more but right now all I care is that I have some good quality eggs. What I want is to have 3 good quality embies that on day 3 are around 6 and 8 cell. Then I will do a 3 dt. I don't even care about a 5 dt anymore. It is really weird because usually i am so worried about all this crap. Right now I just have this calming feeling that this time will work. I have no idea why I have this feeling. Though, I am still not getting my hopes up.

[Kas101]

To Have Fun You are right not to stress, as 4 good follies is a great start. Its more important to go slow and steady and get quality over quantity. I know we see some (especially younger ladies) with boatloads of follies, but you also know that fewer follies usually equals better quality....

I too was crazy for a 5 day after my 3 day failure, but my new RE only does 3 days. He says they do better in the uterus than in the lab, and in my case and many many others we have both seen this to be true. I am now a big fan of 3 days Oh, and dont forget, you had 4 'measurable' follies, which could mean there are more just under range that will have grown by the next u/s. Althogether i think its great news, and i also had a kind of 'oh well' attitude this cycle and look what happened Its a good sign!!!!

[NY4thtry]

well guys not surpising beta went down.. Dr thinks for sure a genetic issue. i am not sure.. working on next steps..

[Kas101]

NY Sorry. I guess its what you expected but didnt want to hear There is always a reason that it doesnt work, i dont believe its just so random (and nor does Dr Beer) its just hard work sometimes to find that reason...

You have eliminated the Dr Toth 'infection' reason for many failures, you have eliminated the immunological reasons for failure, you produce good eggs and lining looks good so i think perhaps genetic reasons for failure maybe the next place to investigate..... I dont know too much on this topic (except that folgard overcomes the MTHFR issue) and i know its broad and in-depth. Maybe PGD screening would be something to consider? I wish i could be of more help or comfort...

[karenvancouverisland]

NY- i'm so sorry....i know this is the time for us to support you with your feelings- but is it it ok if i join you in being mad about this? i'm pissed off at infertility. it just seems so unfair. i'm not trying to take away from you, i just really wanted this to work for you and was very hopeful and optimistic it would work. i wish this wasn't over the net, i can't really express myself clearly right now. i guess i just want to say that i'm here for you

karen

[NY4thtry]

karen

it sucks.. i am a REALLY bad statistic... i am blessed that can afford to contiue to keep trying with no insurance...

everyone...

please everyone understand sacrifice is relative .. i have gone from having a comfortable and secure lifestyle to one that while near term cash is not an issue everything else has ceased but this.. and paying our mortgage..in the end i waited alng time to marry and chose the nicest man i had ever met andsomeonewho cares vs the billionaire types i used to date.. and let me tell you this IVF process even wears on the nicest uy you have ever met... and i can undertsand why.. This is HARD!!!sometimes i feel guilty on this site because in having resources to be able to pay for this stuff i am luckier than most (and BTW they are my resources more than DH'S).. but i clearly am so not lucky.. but i often feel guilty complaining because you guys are going through so much more than me...

i cannot say how much the support from everyone on this board means to me..
it has kept me sain..
you women are amazing!!!

[JDC]

Just wanted to pop in and say hi! I miss you guys.

Chris - you are off to a great start - I can't believe you are FINALLY stimming!

NY - I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Money or not, we all have our own struggles and this is really tough.

Karen - so happy things have worked out for you! Are you showing yet?

As for me, I have put all of last year behind me and I want to move on. My RE has always been gently pushing for me to use DE, but of course I wasn't ready before. But since he always brought it up, I always considered it as an option, and now I'm ready. I have mourned my losses, including the fact that I'm not going to have a child that is biologically mine. I considered foster adopt, but my heart kept telling me DE is the way for us. So we are preparing for our next move which is DE with my sister's eggies. I pray she is a good candidate (she is 31 now). I have to wait until my contract at work is put into place because my new insurnace MAY cover some of my costs, but I'm not sure. We are in a deadlock and I think my union is going to sue for unlawful labor practices - I don't know, I just want my insurance (even if it just covers a few of recipient costs it will be such a huge help). But I hope this union stuff doesn't drag on forever - I'm told it could take like six months. I meet with my RE tomorrow and I will at least get started with some preliminary testing on my sis, who by the way lives in Fla. (I'm in NJ).

Thanks for listening! I just needed to chat about this stuff and didn't know where I fit in anymore. You guys are so great and I feel like we are old friends.

Jill

[to_have_fun08]

Jill - You will always fit in with us, no matter what you are doing. Glad your sister may be able to donate. I know I would go for DE before going to adoption. At least this way you get to feel the child growing inside you and have that bond. And with your sisters eggs, the child should have some of your genetic qualities. Hopefully you get your insurance squared away soon so you can get everything started.

NY4thTry - So sorry that this didn't work once again. I know having the resource available takes a lot of stress off this process, but it is still hard emotionally when it doesn't work. You are still making a lot of sacrifices to keep on cycling. So what might be your next step? Like it was said in PP, PGD might be a good option. I think you have ruled out everything but genetics.


Kas - I agree with you on the 3dt thing. So many people get their BFP from a 3dt I figured it is one thing I won't stress about. I think I am just becoming numb to this whole process. I can't control any of it so right now i am just along for the ride.

I started ganirelix last night, they also upped my menopure to 150u. DH and I went out for dinner, then went home to take the shots and then we were going out again. He was almost out of the driveway and I said "Oh Shi*, I forgot my Ganirelix" I had to run back in to take the shot. I can't believe I almost forgot it. I am used to taking the Follistim and menopure, I even remembered to up my dosage but I totally forgot the Ganirelix. Hope that is the worst thing that happens with this cycle.



Chris

[gina1234]

hey ladies just dropping by to say hello i havent forgotten about u....i have just been very busy, but i am feeling great next week i will be 4 months & the little bean is doing well....anyways i will chat with u soon...big hugs to u all & i hope u all are doing well...

[Kas101]

NY Im glad that you have the finances to continue as long as it takes but i still think there is an emotional toll that failures take, so you are a strong and inspirational woman to keep going. I love your determination and we will be here throughout this, however long it takes, till you get that BFP

JDC Glad to see you back here...DE from your sister is an excellent idea - your baby will have the same genetic make up as you, and so what if those eggs did not come from your body? They are still your genes, and the baby will grow and develop inside your body and be born from your body. Everything else is irrelevant and i cant wait to see how you progress. I hope your insurance and work situation come through for you

To Have Fun Ok, so now you are progressing through the stims, adding the ganirelix nto the mix - i am getting excited!! Is this day 6 or 7 of stims? When is the next u/s??

Gina Hey, glad you are feeling great - you have had a very smooth pregnancy so far, with no sickness or anything!!!! (just envious!!) How big is your bump now?? You must be starting to show!!

As for me i am plodding along nicely. I got the Barbara Luke book about multiples (everyone recommeds it so highly on this site) and it is good. As she says its not a book about choosing names, or decorating a nursery, its a book on how to help your multiples survive!! Basically it says dont do anything but eat, eat eat as much as you can as early as you can as after 24 weeks you wont be able to eat hardly at all. Her results (longer gestation periods higher birthweights) are really impressive so i will try to put on the 75lb i need !!! Good job i bought some maternity pants yesterday and yes, they fit....

[babyhope1]

JDC-I am so excited for you, I have thought of DE and just didn't know who to turn to. You are lucky you have someone. I don't have any sisters, all my relatives are older than me or are little kids. There is nobody in the 18 to 39 age group!

Chris-that is great you almost forgot your meds and you are not caring about the outcome so much, it is when you let your guard down that the entire process gets less stressful. Then perhaps it will increase your odds!!!

Have a good night all.

[to_have_fun08]

So I am kind of freaking out. Nurse called and said I will probably trigger tomorrow. I only have 4 measurable follies. 3 of those are in my right ovary. Last ER I had lots of follies on my right side but they didn't get any mature eggs from the right. So now I am worried I won't have any eggs. I know I just need to chill. The RE's don't know why I didn't have any good eggs on the right side last time. UUGHHHH, I hate IVF.


Chris

[wonderce]

Hi girls, I'm so bummed. I typed a long post earlier and thought I sent it but it must not have gone through. Anyway, I will try to recap.

Kas, you definitely have your work cut out for you to eat enough for you and your 3! I'm sure it will get a little tougher as you get farther along and space is limited in there, but hopefully you have some favorite foods that can help you along. Pardon my memory, but when is your next u/s?

Chris, in my earlier post I was asking when you will have your next scan, but it sounds like you're already ready to trigger! Wow, that seemed quick. I know you mentioned your past scenario with your right ovary, but it seems that could vary each cycle. I'm sure your 4 follies are the perfect size and quality they need to be. I know you've been through this before, but just thought I'd throw it out there that I only had 3 eggs and transferred all on day 3. Sorry IVF is such a PITA sometimes.

Jill, it's great to hear from you and so glad you've made the decision to proceed with DE. Hopefully that union stuff won't take 6 months and at least your sis is getting started with some of the testing. That's awesome news! I hope you'll come back with an update.

NY, sorry your numbers went down as you suspected. I'm anxious though to hear about your next step. It's great that you have the financial resources and strong perseverance to try again. You are one of the amazing women that you mentioned in your post.

Gina, Babyhope, and Karen, good to hear from you too!

So a quick update on me...I wasn't doing so great earlier this week. I went in for results of my screening b/w and we ended up doing an amnio. We wanted to be prepared for whatever the circumstance may have been. Long story short, I just had a couple of wacky blood marker levels that for whatever reason gave my baby a false positive for a possible chromosome disorder. After lots of praying and worrying, the results from the amnio came back and she is just fine. Yes, we found out we're having a baby girl! Needless to say, I have cried a lot this week.

[Kas101]

To Have Fun Dont freak out!!! You get to trigger and that is great because its one step closer to your BFP !!! I know we all want to have lots of eggs, but for some of us we make quality not quantity. You have 4 potential babies there right now!!!! Let us know when you triger!! You are on countdown and this will happen for you

[karenvancouverisland]

hi ladies,

chris- GOOD LUCK with your trigger. let's all channel our energy into your strong, 4 follies. i'm hoping they kick ass! you're almost there..

wonder- i'm so sorry you went through all that stress. BUT CONGRATS on a GIRL! that's awesome.. do you have a name yet?

JDC- it's great to hear from you..i was going to go DE if it hadn't worked for me. i'm glad you're sister can do this for you...similar genetic material and a baby growing in your tummy- that's awesome. i'm really glad you've 'come back' to us.

hi gina, kas, babyhope, NY. hope everyone is ok. i've been very emotional, crying, anxious lately. i can't believe i'm this far along and still worried about having a loss! i'm ridiculous. i have an OB appt tuesday- thank god. i need to hear that h/beat. i'm painting the baby room tomorrow, i think it'll help me get more excited.

love to all, karen