Anybody else just had first failed IVF?

[ntrlmystc79]

I just had my BETA level checked on Friday the 13th-yea I felt I was doomed from the beginning. I am only 30 years old and had an ectopic pregnancy this past November that resulted in the removal of my right tube, my left is dilated so my chance of having another ectopic pregnancy is 30%...which makes me wonder if my chances of getting pregnant are better if I try naturally or through IVF.
Back to my beta....yea, it was negative. I am healthy and other than my tubes, the rest of me down there is in really good shape and my lining is super healthy. So why did IVF fail me? They transferred 2 B+ quality embryos at three days, with assisted hatching, which is also supposed to improve the implantation rate. My husband and I planned to go through another IVF cycle next month, but I'm left to question what I should do. Anybody else having questions or doubts about going through IVF again?

[41andscaredsilly]

I'm sorry the process wasn't successful for you.

The embryologist spoke to me last week and I'm not sure of her exact verbiage, but it was something that gave me a feeling of relief: even with all that we know, at this point these cells know more and have the ability to kick out bad stuff which is why sometimes you'll get a negative result.

Maybe you can find some comfort in that perhaps something wasn't quite right and that next time you'll be blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby.


My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[kate65]

I'm really sorry to hear about your bad news. Somehow it always hits you harder than you think it will.

Just remember that it's all a numbers game. Even for very young, fertile people, only a certain percentage (I think it's 20%) of embryos will implant and grow, so you have to expect to try a few times before your number comes up. If it happens the first time, that's great luck. If it doesn't, don't read too much into that.

[to_have_fun08]

ntrlmystc79 - I have heard this so many times from ladies that get a BFN. We don't know why it doesn't work, it just doesn't. Yes, there are some lucky ladies that get PG their first shot. Lots of us don't even with having the "Perfect" cycle". Good luck to you next time.



Chris

[RosiePosie]

ntrlmystc79-I am very sorry your 1st IVF didn't work. I also got a BFN on 2-11-09 so I know how frustrating it is. I questioned doing this again,not because I am wondering why it didn't work, but I question if I want to go through the actual process. I hated it. I hate the fact that I had to get an intravaginal (I think that's what it is called) sonongram 2 or 3 times a week. I hate the bruising from the shots. I hate the fact that I can't get pregnant naturally. But I agree with the other ladies, our bodies have a way of knowing what is going to be healthy. So maybe the BFN was meant to be. I still want a baby and am thinking about doing IVF again. But I am going to see if I can take a break. I will see RE this week or next and discuss options. I might not have any. We will see. I am 35 years old (no children), DH is 44(2 children from previous) so I feel a lot of pressure to do this again. I wish you the best for whatever choice you make. I think it is natural to question why things didn't work, but i woudn't overthink. Sometimes things happen for a good reason even though we may not know why.

[ivfbaby]

My first embryo transfer failed after a long 2WW . It was devasting and I was scared to even schedule a consultation appt. with my Dr. I was worried about what he would tell me. I have a 10 year old son whom I had naturally so the IVF clinic thought I would be the one who would get a BFP out of all the women going through the same cycle. So you see there is no rhyme or reason. It's pretty much a hit or miss after the embryos get transferred. I realized there is not much more that could have been done to garauntee it. I will be doing my second round come April. My Dr. suggest blastocyst stage for this next one. Anybody go through bloastocyst with success? Any input would help.

You will be fine Rosie, it will happen for you in time. You are still young. Best of luck to you!!!!!!!

[jgoch]

I feel the same way....I hated the shots, the US, blood work & the stress of not being stressed for the 3 days of bedrest. I am so angry! I had a child at 23 and gave him up for adoption and now that I am finally ready I can't get PG. WHY??? We've been trying for 3 years & just did our first IVF round with a negative result. How much time do I wait to grieve the loss? Is it better for my body to rest? My friend swears by accupuncture after 3 tries and a success....I tried it but couldn't stop from laughing b/c it seemed so hokey. Any feedback? How do you know if you're ready to do it again.

[41andscaredsilly]

my test was negative too.

Something just wasn't quite right.

Are any of you going through this again? Im not sure at this point.

[birdie]

I experienced my first negative this month exactly a year ago. I can still remember how disappointing it was like it was yesterday. The doctor was really surprised because he was so positive that it would work and was at a loss to explain why it failed.
I'm now on my third try (2nd attempt was also BFN). I went for retrieval 2 days ago and was really excited to hear that they retrieved 13 eggs (I've been deemed a "poor responder") only to be let down the next day when they told me only 6 fertlized. I'm now terrified to get my phone call tomorrow to update me on how the 6 are doing. My lining was too thin at last ultrasound and so I will have to go through a period and then hopefully do a FET if my embryos can make it to day 5. If my embryos don't make it to day 5 though, I won't get to transfer anything. I'm absolutely terrified because I can't stand the thought of being let down yet again.
Who knows why some women get lucky on the first try and some try multiple times and never get a BFP. Sometimes they'll transfer beautiful embryos and none will implant and sometimes all they have to transfer is one not so great embryo and the woman gets pregnant. You can do everything right; diet, exercise, low stress and still not be successful. I'm convinced it must be God's will (if you believe in that) or if it's meant to be it will be. It's hard to know when to call it quits though. I don't know what I'll do if this cycle turns out to be another BFN. I don't know how much more my body and mind can handle. My mental health is really suffering from all this and my self confidence is an absolute zero. Even though I know it's not my fault, I feel so responsible. I don't have much advice to give anyone but I will say that I think you have to listen to your intuition. If your gut is telling you give it one more try and time and finances permit, go for it. At least if all fails, you will know that you gave it your all. But if this is absolutey ruining your life, your marriage and everything else that used to make you happy, then maybe it's time to throw in the towel and say it just wasn't meant to be.