MARCH/APRIL 2009 LADIES

[babyloves]

hi everyone!
already blessed: you made me totally laugh about ur shaving stories...and your acronym was hilarious...its so sad and funny down there for me at the same time...funky hair patterns on a fat and thick lil mound also my ankles have developed a second ankle - i used to be so petite - 110 lbs!! my EDD is 4/6 for 40 wks, but we're thinking more like 3/16 (37 wk).

lit: sounds like you're in good spirits while on bedrest...i too admire your courage for having three in there...hopefully baby B will catch up really soon. Here' a list of what to pack (on a twin pg website):
Toothbrush & toothpaste (yours probably better than hospitals')
Hair brush
Shampoo and face/body soap
Moisturizing lotion
Razor (if your feeling hopeful!)
Basic make-up items
2 or 3 nightgowns or nursing gowns (you will not likely be able to wear pants for a day or two)
A robe! You will definitely need this for going back and forth to the nicu
Pair of slippers
A couple pairs of socks
A nursing bra (if you are going to nurse)
2 - 4 "comfortable" pairs of underwear
Maxi-pads of your choice (for when you graduate from the hospital's gigantic pads)
An outfit to wear home (think sweats)
Outfits for your new babies to go home in along with blankets
Consider bringing a folder or other case for all of the paperwork you will receive in the hospital

also, i saw an inspirational video for moms of multiples - but good for any expecting mom that i thought i'd share:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E-wULAaD50

it gave me some courage to keep on holding on to my babies as long as possible...i'm still having contractions, and taking terbutaline (tocolytic - labor stopper) as needed..have my ob apt tomm

anyway, just another thought, this morning i was imagining sex with DH and how i'd lift up my hips with pillows afterwards to increase fertility and how i'd look at my fertility monitor every day for my "fertile peak days", then all the frustrations and rejections with IUI's, and all the drugs/shots i took that i have forgotten about...

we've all come a long way baby!!!! - i'm so glad to be where i'm at right now!! AMEN

[woodcliff]

Literazi...I am so here, wishing you and your husband and baby girls HEALTH...

as to lists?
I had so many for the hospital.
The important ones were not, well important...
We used the hospital outfits...
and, since yours will be premies and in the NICU most likely, don't sweat things...when they are released you'll get an idea of 'size' for them (preemie, probably?)...and take them home.

I guess the car seat, an insert for their teeny, tiny heads so they do not wobble (or, as we did, hired a teeny, tiny college girl to sit between the twin seats in back to hold their heads in place!)...

Take as many formula bottles and nipples as you can from the hospital...the tiny bottles they use are priceless (I think they are 2 oz bottles)...pack 'em up.

For you? maybe just a computer...
all will turn out well...I will be thinking strong thoughts for Baby B...
As ever
Me

[esperanza]

Sorry ladies, but I'm here today to vent... I'll do personals later.

This may sound silly, but dh is being so difficult with the childbirth classes. I'm so mad and hurt!

First, he starts by saying that childbirth classes are bullshit, that our mothers didn't have to do that, etc. etc, etc.... what he doesn't understand is that our mothers had a WHOLE community behind them, including their own mothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, grandmas, etc...I DON'T! we just moved here 6 months ago and barely know people that can be here for us in this important moment. Our families are either in Venezuela, Haiti or Massachusetts. We've been lucky that we've met wonderful people here that have been really kind to us and are expressing lots of solidarity, but still...it's not the same. I cannot just walk up to anybody and ask for the same help that I would ask my mom or a good old friend. Do you know what I mean?

Anyway, finally he kind of agreed to do them. I went out of my way to find a childbirth class that didn't conflict with his work schedule so on and so forth. It may sound stupid, but it's been a bit stressful for me because it's hard being a first time mom in a new place. I've been calling, researching on-line, etc. Finally, and I mean FINALLY! I found a class on a Saturday (tomorrow). I signed up for it about 2 weeks ago and guess what happened today? DH comes and tells me that he doesn't want to go because because he had a long week at work and he wants to relax tomorrow. I felt like somebody light up a fire inside me. I got angry, yelled at him, and ended up crying. I said things like "of course, this is so typical...mothers always have to deal with the child by themselves...you have a choice because you're not the one carrying the baby and you don't have to go through labor, I am, I have no choice...so of course, let her deal with it, right?...you're such a typical male" uggggghhhhhh!!!!!

Sorry, but you were the only ones I thought I could share this with. I would never share this with my family, and I don't want to bug my friends with pregnancy stuff.

[kerpupples]

Oh Esperanza, I'm so sorry DH is taking that attitude. Are you going to the class on your own? Sigh. I think some men are just freaked out by the whole pregnancy and birthing process, and I'm really not sure what is to be done. Maybe you should consider using a doula at your birth.

You and I have the same baby shower day BTW. Should be lots of fun!

No news is good news on my end. Her movements are getting stronger and my belly is finally looking like a pregnant one. Still no issues with the previa, knock on wood! We find out in 2 weeks whether the placenta has moved. Having some lower back pain. We're picking up some nursery furniture this weekend off Craigslist. That's about it!

[woodcliff]

Esperanza, just hang in there. I do feel for you. My inlaws used to live in Las Cruces, and I absolutely HATED it! It felt like nowhere...like life was just a dead end...
I hope you move on after the babies to another city with opportunities...

[jennywit]

Esperanza, I don't want to side with DH, but I will tell you that I took a childbirth class with DH prior to my 1st baby, and to be honest, they didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know. It seemed that at 32-My age at the time) I was by far the oldest lady there and it was mostly kids having kids in my class. It was at my local hospital, and I don't live in some crazy inner city , so I don't know what it was. Anyway, I think that this site has made all of us ladies so much more educated than the ladies who didn't have to do soooooo much research to even get to this point, and to be honest, if DH did learn anything in that class, he FORGOT it on delivery day!!!!! LOL!!!! So in the end, I guess it ends up being up to us anyway. Don't people say that if men were the ones to have babies, there wouldn't be anymore children in the world? Jennifer

[esperanza]

Hi again ladies. Thank you for your replies. I'm on break from the childbirth class. DH ended up coming with me, voluntarily. I think he felt bad after he saw me so upset (he even asked me, why are you being so emotional over this?).

We made a deal, if it was too redundant we would leave and not stay for the whole thing. This morning it was mostly talks about the stages of labor and pain management (nothing that I didn't really know...a few new things here and there, but nothing major. I think it was more informative for dh, because he has not done the mountains of readings I have ). This afternoon they are doing the tour of the hospital and the support system (massage, etc). We talked to our instructor and decided to skip the tour of the hospital so we could come home for dh to take a nap, and we are going to join them later this afternoon for the support system part (which is REALLY the part that I'm interested in learning). Anyway, he's sleeping now, I just fixed us some lunch so we can both eat before we leave.

I think that what made me upset is that I want to feel supported and loved (and of course those damn hormones!! b/c I'm such an independent person). Honestly, the class is that...just a class, no biggy. I think it's the symbolism of "feeling like I'm going through this alone."

Anyway, when we got there this morning I thanked him for coming with me, and he responded "I'm glad I came"...especially after he realized that I would have been the only one there by myself.

Just a quick update. Thank you for "listening" friends

[babyloves]

glad everything went well, esperanza...sounds like DH's heart is in the right place...guys need a push sometimes as they can be dense...i looked into a class too, but my friend said it was a waste of time for her (she's an MD), and of course DH wouldn't have it considering its about $150 a session.

I just got dolled up in a maternity dress to go out for dinner, haven't worn makeup in a while- feels good...DH has gone out for a run, he's taking exercise to a new height as I think he wants to be a healthy parent for the long run for our kids..and i plan to do the some after this pg...we're going to our favorite vietnamese restaurant...

Anyway, just wanted to say Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

[Literatriz]

Dear all,
so nice to read you at the end of the day - I am having at least two or three non-stress tests and ultrassound "vitality" tests on a daily basis. It keeps me a bit more busy...still, waiting is a boring game. DH came over, so nice to connect with him without having to go over what needs to be done, etc.... we had chinese food - nice shift from hospital food. And they never delivered my flowers - it didn't make a difference. It was nice to talk to DH. He has trigeminal nevralgia (trigeminal as our three babies...not a joke as it hurts a lot!) and got blisters all over his hand. When we talked about our feelings, he told me that sometimes he feels a little "aside" from what is going on because I have direct connections with the babies - and all the attention in the world. So maybe some of our DH reactions is related to their difficulty with dealing with their feelings when ours is so validated by our culture. The good thing is, they will very soon become daddies and that is much easier to manage!
Esperanza, maybe there is a cultural factor playing in your case, making it a bit more difficult to handle (send me a pm if you want to have a conversation about it; my marriage is also cross-cultural).
Babyloves, thanks for the "list"- gave me a sense of priorities. Hang in there! 32 weeks is a gift to your babies already! Hope your apptmt went well!
Thanks babyloves and woodcliff for the good wishes for Baby B, she is doing well on all vitality tests I will complete the list with your suggestions.
Hope everyone else is doing Ok in our third trimester marathon!
and...Happy Valentines day!

[sonu911]

Hi there...my dear friends!!!

I am mising you all, infact I keep myself update with the happenings on the board.

Literatiz - I know the waiting game...and I am so happy that you are clearing all the tests with flying colours. You are so right with the psychology of the would-be-daddies. Our direct connection with the baby keeps them on the backfoot and that is what makes them insecure at times.

Esperanza - I am so glad things are back to normal with your DH. These guys need to be shaken up sometimes.Oh, I also have tough time making him understand why I spend most of the nights in reclining position on bed with pillows tucked in, why I need a fan when its quite a cool weather out here, why I suddenly start sweating, and my various mood swings!!! I guess these guys wait for the real thing to happen to feel like us, I have seen many guys change when the baby is home for real. Can you beat my case, my DH doesn't even accompany me to the clinic for the regular checkups, its boring for him, but before hitting the bed at night its his routine to hold my tummy for half an hour. Well, keep up the hope...you are not alone.
How is our lil ballerina doing?

Babyloves - Hope you had a good time at Vietnamese Rest. Good thought about health quotient, my DH is also doing his best to keep in shape and I also plan to get back in shape as soon as possible...oh I seriously don't want to be a old fat boring mom!!!

alreadyblessed, michele, jenny, kerpupples, woodcliff...hope all you guys are also doing great!!

I have come here on the forum with a reason, inspite of my fingers going numb repeatedly..I wanted to share this great news with you guys- my sis just had a scan today, and guess what. we are going to have TWINS in our family in september....and I am super excited and soooo thankful to God for this. This was her 5th try with IVF and now we are waiting for the most crucial stage i.e heartbeat.

:D I am soooo happy!!! knock the wood!!!!

Hugs to all.

[alreadyblessed]

Sonu~ What wonderful news!!!! I remember how heartbreaking the last IVF was for your sister, and now, God will be blessing her and your family with twins!! It will be so nice for the two of you to have your children so close in age also. That is so wonderful!! How are you feeling?

Esperanza my friend~ I have come to the conclusion that where men can be wonderful, they just don't get it. Last week I called DH over to feel the belly because the baby was practicing karate. He reluctantly moved his tush over, and felt the belly. One big kick, and he moved away and seemed freaked out. I said "well what do you think is going on in there". I think if it were up to him, he would just skip the pregnancy part and go right to the recovery room. However, much like your DH, after an argument, he can't be wonderful enough...."how ar you feeling? How is your back? What does it feel like?".He runs Hot and cold. Very frustrating.

babyloves~ I havn't reached the double ankle portion of the pregnancy yet, although with my last two I remember laying in the hospital and thinking are those REALLY my legs? Holy CRAP!! Not only did my ankles get completely swallowed up in my fluid retention, but they took my knees with them. I had tree trunks from my bush to my feet. VERY attractive.

Lit~ Glad to hear that you are doing so well, and that baby B is catching up. How long would they realistically like for you to hold out until? Stay well my friend.
As for me, there is always some sort of craziness. Thursday night I was teaching my EMT class how to take vital signs and long story short, my blood pressure was elevated. Not terrible, but high for me. Friday I had a docs appt. and she said it was a little elevated, but nothing to worry about. Then when she checked my urine, it had protein in it. She is now worried that I may be showing early signs of pre-ecclampsia. I am not stressing about it because God forbid, if I had to deliver now, I am just about at 33 weeks, and my baby should be just fine. I also have my follow up this Friday to check to see if the placenta has moved up, or if they are going to be concerned about the placenta acretta issue. UGH. Never a dull moment. Overall though, I am feeling good, and am excited because my "suprise baby shower is this Saturday"
Hi Jenny, Kerpup...and all the other ladies! Hope you are all doing well.

[esperanza]

Hello my dears. Once again, thank you for your responses, it helps just to talk about it. As I said before, it's more the emotional aspect of it than anything else

I finally registered yesterday...wow, I was resisting it, but I really enjoyed it it was so much fun!!! I ended up going by myself, and I'm glad because I like to take my sweet time when I'm shopping (especially for something that I barely know...ie. raising a child!) and I probably would have felt rushed/uncomfortable if I had gone with someone else (especially with dh!). It was my alone time with my baby girl, and it made it feel much more real seeing all the things that we'll need to welcome her. I tried to contain myself and not to add to the list things that we won't REALLY need (there's so much out there...some I didn't even know existed!). There were also a few that I thought "oh well, if somebody wants to get us this, why not?" but I really tried to think about affordability, sustainability, consumption and the space that we have. Let's see at our baby shower what gets bought. This is a brand new experience for me. We don't do registry at home.

LITERATRIZ--how's my triplets mama doing? how's your dh? gosh, that sounds painful. I think I told you before that my mother has something similar and that the medications could not be found in Venezuela because of the whole political situation. She's doing much better now, for her it's also emotional, she suffers from depression so her body reacts to it with some sort of illness or pain. It's hard.

About dh and the cross-cultural experience. Yes, you are right. I also think there are some class and gender issues going on. We're working on it, we're both trying. In many things our cultures overlap, but in others we clash, which at the end it just makes the relationship that more interesting Our daughter has a lot of negotiation to do when learning about both of her parents cultures, AND growing up in the US


SONU--hello beautiful! how are you doing? you're getting closer and closer! I have another appointment in 2 weeks and after that I start going weekly. Are you already going to see your Dr weekly? About your sis: YAY!!!!! God is SO good....twins! please, please, please, keep us posted. I'm sending her lots of positive vibes and prayers. My ballerina is doing well growing and dancing, she's still positioned with her head down, so she's getting ready for birth!

ALREADYBLESSED--how are you doing my lovely friend? your story of dh with the katare kid was so interesting. I can completely relate to it. My dh sometimes is all about rubbing my belly, and then there are times when I'm like "OMG, she's moving so much, touch, touch, touch" and he comes close, puts his hand on my tummy feels one kick and says "ummhuu" and goes back to whatever he was doing

Oh, and speaking of bushes...mine is out of control! I asked DH to help me trim it a little bit, he hasn't done it yet, but he promised he will in the next few days, maybe something more exciting will happen afterwards....hehehhehe...naughty me

Have fun at your "surprise" baby shower. I hope you get lots of great "boy" things!


BABYLOVES--thankfully the class we took was free. If had to pay $150 my dh would have definitely not gone (and I honestly, I doubt I would have payed that much money).
I thought it was so cute that you "dolled up" to go out on a date with dh on Valentine's day. So romantic!!! I love Vietnamese food, specially their noodle soups...yam!

WOODCLIFF---so you've been to Las Cruces? how are you feeling my dear?

JENNY--how are you doing? I agree, if it was up to men to have babies, there would be much less people in the world. hehehhehe!

KERPUPPLES--so your babyshower is on 3/14? yay! have you registered? 2 of my friends are organizing it, and I'm getting excited about it.

I went to my midwife today. Everything is going well ) our ballerina is still head down, and moving, and growing! Ladies, I've gained about 34 pounds thus far I wasn't/I'm not overly concerned about my weight, to me it's all about the baby, BUT I was a little stroke to hear that today. My midwife thinks I'm just on target, and I'm tall so it doesn't show that much. Anyway, there's a lot of exercising I need to do after my girl is born. Maybe she and I will get to dance together

[sonu911]

Hi All


MY LITTLE ANGLE IS HERE IN MY ARMS.
AND ITS A BOY!!!!

He was born on 17 Feb and weighed 2,430 gms and was delivered through c-section.

I am doing great so far, recovery has been tremendous!!

I just can't stop admiring him and then I realize its for real and he is my arms...and the tears can't stop rolling down my cheeks.

He is unbelievably adorable!!! I will try posting the fotos soon.

[esperanza]

SONU!!!!! OMG!!!! you're our first mama!!! what a nice surprise A boy, yay! CONGRATULATIONS.

Tell us more whenever you have a chance, I'd love to learn about your labor/delivery story. I can't wait to see the pics of your little treasure. What's his name? I'm just so happy to get the news, I was about to go to bed and decided to check before, now I'm wide awake...I might not go to sleep for another hour. LOL!

HUGS, HUGS, HUGS

[wishfull27]

Ladies sorry to crash thread -

Sonu - congratulations on your baby boy - am delighted for you and DH ... did wonder why you had not responded to my PM but now know its cos you were otherwise occupied

Give him a cuddle from his cyber auntie ((()))x

Love to you all

Carolyn xx