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Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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nicolamark
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
Location: Cambridge, UK

MEN ONLY!

Post by nicolamark »

With me and my dh it's my man who has male factor and I am ok. I have found much suport through this site and many other sites on the net, and met so many girls in the same boat, its really made me feel better.
But my poor luvvie, said to me, why are all of these board's full of girls with support, surely there must be some men out there, he needs some male advice, some male opinion.
So Men please reply!!

Thanks!! x x x
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jane
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Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2003 8:51 pm
Location: Bournemouth, England

Post by jane »

I am sorry I am not a man.
But I think fertilityfriends (or its something like that) has a male message board.
Hopefully there are some males out there to chat to.
From Sophie-Jane
Aged 32. 1st ivf failed March 04. Going to try again with my frosties.
Have a scruffy dog called Tobye.
LindaJane
Newbie
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:37 pm
Location: Warwickshire, UK

Post by LindaJane »

I know the feeling......................but getting my DP to talk to me about it at times is difficult. He has read some of the topics on the male discussion board on Fertility Friends as I have copied them to him but he would not log on for himself. I'll have a word with him and see if he will chat to your DH...........no promises though. I will PM you if he agrees but I suspect the answer will be no!

The male factor board on Fertility Friends is informative, especially in relation to supplements and dietary advice but few men populate it I'm afraid!

Good Luck!
LindaJane :)
nicolamark
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
Location: Cambridge, UK

Post by nicolamark »

Thanks Jane and Lindajane for your advice, I will indeed let dh know about the fertily friends site.
nicolamark
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1879
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
Location: Cambridge, UK

Post by nicolamark »

Looked at the site you mentioned, still cant find any men with male factor who want to chat!!

Surely there are some men there!! Please!!!

x x x x
LindaJane
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Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:37 pm
Location: Warwickshire, UK

Post by LindaJane »

I did ask my DP as promised................the answer was no as expected however, with our funding now approved and our pre-treatment information appointment next week he might change his mind but I doubt it.

Sorry :(

Love
LindaJane :D
nicolamark
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
Location: Cambridge, UK

Post by nicolamark »

Thanks for asking your dh, anyway. What seems to be the problem with you and your man?
LindaJane
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Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:37 pm
Location: Warwickshire, UK

Post by LindaJane »

Hi Nicola

I have low progesterone levels which means that I dont always ovulate apparently and DP has poor morphology which at last count was 5%. He has good motility and count but they are mishapped! So between the two of us, chances of conception naturally are not good.

We do generally eat a healthy diet but we have tried to take some additional natural strategies. We both take Marylin Glenville his 'n' hers vitamins, 1g of vitamin C and flax oil every day. In addition DP takes pyrogencol, which is an natural antioxidcent good for sperm if you take 200mg per day and I take agnus castus to try to regulate the hormones. Neither of us smoke anyway but DP has tried cut down the beers. I cut down my alcohol when I decided to lose a serious amount of weight and so drink very little of the stuff unless its a special occasion. We have started to use organic food where we can, especially with fruit and vegetables and things we eat every day such as milk and cereals. Interestingly I have discovered that low fat and organic dont go together well, which is a pain now I watch my weight like a hawk, but thats just a personal hang up. We thought this might make our grocery shopping more expensive but it has not made much difference possibly because we have cut out some of the processed stuff, beer etc that we bought. I also have to say that we can taste the difference especially with salads and fruit so this is likely to be a permanent change I think.

Not sure if this has made any improvements for us - perhaps too soon. I know that I have not had the amount of sniffles I usually get being a teacher and my complexion is much improved so you never know what is happening on the inside.

We are looking forward to Thursday's appointment. I think I might ask if DP could have another sperm test to see if any improvements are seen. We will still probably have to have assistance but if they have more good quality sperm to choose from then so much the better I would think.

Another contributor to this site who is also at CRM like us has said that we will have to see the counsellor before treatment so I am hoping that will help my DP open up a bit. He is naturally reticent at the best of times. He has taken all of it quite well really considering he is the broody one! I made him wait until 2 years ago, despite the fact we've been together for 15 years...........................guilt trip or what!

Thanks for listening to me witter on. I'll let you know what happens on Thursday and pass any tips on.

Love
LindaJane :D
caz1
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Posts: 581
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2003 8:02 am
Location: uk

Post by caz1 »

HI - hope you dont mind me butting in
We have severe male factor - and getting my Dh to talk about it is often difficult
Its interesting isnt it.....I guess it explains why over 60% of people who use a sperm donor never tell their children....somehow male infertility seems so much harder to be open about that female infertility. I have found myself often telling people that we cant have children because of me!! Its just somehow easier.
Altho I have to say when my DH (unexpectedly!) told a very "macho" male friend of our that HE had the problems and not me, the male friend was unexpectedly relaxed about it. Maybe people are more grown up than we give them credit for
I think its years of school boy jokes like "firing blanks" etc etc - which there dont seem to be equivalents for for us ladies - that make men so embarrassed to talk about it. I think to the outside world, a mans fertility is just SO much more tied up with their "maleness", than its seems to be for women.

Its real cave man stuff aint it?

Anyway -enough rambling. As you might have gathered -theres no way I'd get my DH on here - hes still too close to the cave!! - but tell yours to come on anytime, It would be great to hear a mans point of view.

Take care
Cazx
nicolamark
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
Location: Cambridge, UK

Post by nicolamark »

Men are made so completly different to us girlies.

I total agree with you, about male fertility being seen as something that doesnt happen and woman are the one with the problems, I have indeed said the same as you,caz and said we cant have kids coz I dont ovulate and ppl seem to understand that. But as soon as I say my dh has no sperm they like cant understand that it's possable and that men just have sperm!!!
When I told one of my friends that dh has no sperm, she said "Oh, he doesnt come, thats odd you didnt realise before"
No idea huh???? I had to tell her that he does come and that sperm swim in the seman and that he has seman just no sperm!

My dh has told all mates, about it they were ok but 2 mates have children from accidents!!!! and they really didnt intend getting their g/friends pg. It's so unfair that this happens!!!

Anyway, thanks caz for your advice!!

Thanks Lindajane for your reply!! I wish you ll the best of luck , you know I am sure it's only a matter of time. Good Luck on Thursday, Girl!!
Thinking of ya x x x :lol: :) :D
londonmale
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Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2004 5:46 pm
Location: London

Men Only!

Post by londonmale »

NicolaMark,

Dont know what Im letting myself in for here but I am a male who myself and my partner are on the IVF (ICSI) waiting list. My wife has polycistic ovaries or however you spell it and I have a low sperm count so together we are the mating match from hell!! - lol

We are currently on the NHS waiting list and are told we should be seen between now and next April 05. Been on the list since last June and the wait is hell. We just want this year to go so next year we can be more positive - although we shouldnt be wanting our life to waste by.

Let me know what yourself and your husband would like to discuss if anything, I have been reading these posts for the lasts 18 months and have found these boards to be very very helpful. Hi to everyone who is the same boat as ourselves - it is so nice to see when IVF and ICSI actually works and brings a smile to my face. I indeed am like your husband and being the typical male do not like talking about the subject but I do find that typing it is so much easier.

Hope to hear from you.
nicolamark
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1879
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
Location: Cambridge, UK

Post by nicolamark »

Hi London Male,

Sorry, not logged on here in a while, been trying to not let things get to us and sometimes reading too much about something you want so badly can leave you very low and sad, and this week has been a sad week as far as fertility issues go.

Firstly thought my dh was on the list for the biopsy and had 3or4 months to wait, turns out he's not even on the list and its likely to be a lot longer.

Secondly, my 2 mates were rounds earlier with their babies (I always think I can cope and then afterwards I just cry my heart out)

Thirdly, I came on this morning and feeling like crap and get all depressed as there goes another month, I am not preg.

Anyway, it's great to meet a guy here, I will tell my fella tonight, and then maybe you could answer his questions.

I think first though, have you had to have a biopsy, and what was it like? Any advice on that would be great.

Looking forward to your reply.

Lv Nicolamark x x
IUI using donor in 2005
1st IVF cancelled OHSS 2006
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise 2009
3rd IVF successful 2010 pregnant Miscarried early
FET negative 2011
ADOPTED DAUGHTER 2014
nicolamark
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1879
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
Location: Cambridge, UK

Post by nicolamark »

It now seems that my dh is on the waiting list, but it's gonna be 11 months. Cant you believe that?
We are thinking of going straight to donor sperm just to cut out some of the waiting. We want a baby now, if we keep on waiting well be too old to have the energy to run about after the baby.
Anyone got any idea what sort of time you can wait for donor sperms?
IUI using donor in 2005
1st IVF cancelled OHSS 2006
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise 2009
3rd IVF successful 2010 pregnant Miscarried early
FET negative 2011
ADOPTED DAUGHTER 2014
DawnLB
Newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2004 10:57 pm

Men talk

Post by DawnLB »

Hi All

My husband and i are all new to this IVF stuff, and have only just found out that we will not be able to have children on our own due to DH low sperm count, low motility and poor morphinology....

I feel for all those men out there like mu hubby who have no one to talk too so if any other men do want to talk my DH will be only to pleased to chat with you

Dawn XxX
Sand
Board Veteran
Posts: 3364
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 11:35 am
Location: Lancs, England

Post by Sand »

Hi there Dawn

My DP would like to talk to your DH ........ !! ..... He's going to log on himself.

Sandra
x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
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